Barely legal COVID-19

Oh hey. Hi.

I'm watching CA Governor Newsom, struggle to keep his composure. These reporters are idiots. I mentally slingshot peanuts at all their forheads a long time ago. The governor reminds me a little of Christopher Darden, additionally smiling and being awkwardly chill. And as the governor shuffles his weight on to his left foot to right, right foot to left, back and forth, dying to get off stage, the hearing impaired translator has already told the deaf community to change the channel and is now simply signing lyrics to her favorite songs by Steve Miller Band.

As everyone self quarantines I'm running around the city getting lunch and doing laundry. It's blissfully quiet.

I miss my cat.

I know everyone else has moved on and couldn't care less that I mourn him, but that kitty cat has been the most important part of my life for the past year. I know what it is to be a stray. To be alone. To never know what the next day brings. I know what that is. I didn't look for a cat. He came to me. And I fell in love. Leaving him behind will be one of the biggest regrets of my life. Buddy was born in Vegas, that is his home, and that is where he wants be. It's a hurt that will stay with me for a very long time.

Adulting is hard.

While doing laundry I also washed the bathrobe Buddy loved sleeping on. I washed away his fur, his dirty little paw prints, his smell, his memory. It was time.

Getting my Los Angeles sea legs back has been a little bit if a challenge. I've only been gone for 2 years but I've gotten turned around more than once from something as simple as east from west.

Wait. Is Topanga that way, or that way? Which way is Universal City?

In my confusion Eriq took me to Bobby's Coffee Shop in Woodland Hills. It was quiet but steady. No one was coughing. Everyone kept 6 feet apart. Social distancing. It was peaceful. So when I accidentally swallowed a piece of fruit wrong, when a piece of fruit went down the wrong wind pipe, I had to loudly explain while suffocating, "It's not COVID-19! I'm just choking! It's ok! It's ok! Not COVID-19! I'm just choking!"

Everyone seemed to quickly forgive me and went back about their business of bacon and eggs.

And so here we are day 4 back in LA.

It's wonderful embracing old friends again with drinks... updates... explaining to them why my vagina and I don't hang out anymore.

I missed my friends. I missed Los Angeles.

Las Vegas is a lonely wretched place. I went there to die. Only I didn't. Just a little more on the inside. Worry not. You won't be able to tell the difference. I promise.