How I got your phone number.

She etched it on the bench, "For a good time call... "

 

 

 

Sorry, vagina!

Santa Monica Blvd. Four perfectly quaffed muscular men in a convertible stop at the red light, see me on the corner waiting to cross the street and call out, "Meow-ow-ow! Hey little Asian Girrrlllllll! Me-ow! Kitty-kitty-kitty!" Then one of the guys in the backseat lifts his glasses to get a better look and says, "Hey wait! I think that's an actual girl-girl!" The remaining three men lift up their sunglasses to get a better look. Disappointed and defeated, the men confirm, "Aw man, she's a girl." They drop their sunglasses, slump back down in their seats and continue waiting for the green light.

Ha! Made you look!    

Is Dane Cook still performing on Sunset tonight?

No carpet, no ceiling fan, both are useless for an art space. Full bathroom. No need for a kitchen. Just a hookup for a refrigerator. You think this would be easy but...


 

Are those steps?



 

Don't forget your sunglasses.

 

  Relativity (M.C. Escher). Nope, wrong steps. Nope, wrong steps again!

 

 

3,000 square feet. One ceiling fan.

 

 

I don't even want to know what this room was used for.

Looks like a bathroom... kind of.

 

 

 

$1,000 more a month... and for what?

 

 

That one space in Korea Town is awesome. Parking situation sucks.

C'mon internet let's do this!

 

 

Seriously, scariest bathroom ever.

 

 

Best laid plans

I can always pencil them in.

Parlevu France?

Poquito. Of the Spanfrenglish dialect, or lyrical Haiku free poesy... lect.

"What is crazy girl?" They asked.

Is this like a knock-knock joke? I don't do knock-knock jokes.

"No! What is a crazy girl?" they ask again.

Me and my friends after 7 bottles of wine... ?? (Okay, okay just me.)

"Crazy girl! Sunset Blvd!"

Ooooooh Crazy Girls !!

"Si! Si!"

Strippers! Bar! Pool! Dancing! Dj's! Good times! I used to live behind that club on Detroit Street. I knew a few girls back then who worked there and we always brought the party over to my place and boy if the walls in that apartment could talk, why....

I lost the French people in translation. This is why I don't do knock-knock jokes. My answers are too long.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Girl with a skateboard.
Girl with a skateboard who?
The girl with the skateboard who hangs out on Yucca Street just east of the liquor store; she always wears her hair in one solid braid twisted to the left of her head; and she carries a green glitter skateboard, who knows why, because of the few dozens times I've seen her around the Blvd she never actually rides the skateboard, I always see her cradling it in her arm like a doll... Hey, where you going?

So,

Yeah,

No knock-knock jokes.

Crazy Girls! Exotic Dancers!

 

But it's true, you can't say too much, whenever we Americans talk to people not from the U.S. we must simplify everything.

Crazy Girls

 

A place to see strippers

Girls go there to strip
You go to watch them strip

Strippers

 

 

I've also learned that if you point out your index fingers in front of your nipples, and make circular swirly motions with said index fingers, it's the universal symbol for tassels! It's fantastic!     

 

One day I'm going to perform an xxx-rated mime show. Not sure where. I'm thinking Amsterdam... or Wisconsin. 

p.s. I love Crazy Girls. Always a good time! 

COLCOA weekend

You can tell me you're a French rock star. Like I know any better? I will be running around Hollywood all weekend. Red wine drinkers. My people! Does anyone actually attend the viewings?

Sick City

By Tony O'Neill.

 

The book I'm currently reading.

 

I'm four years late reading it, little Miss Johnny come lately. Better late than never. I've been reading more, it's better than going out and putting up with amateur hour on the Blvd. High strung eager "kiddies" (in their late 30's) still trying to make every weekend count for something "HOT", coordinating clothes, and time, and rendezvous. Christ. They'll figure it out... one day.  

Mon âme par toi guérie; Jeune et jolie

Tomorrow night @ Colcoa.

 

See you there!

 

Happy Easter

 

Heading out for sushi. It's what Jesus would have wanted. :)

 

 

 

 

 

Koreans! Koreans, everywhere!

Here's one more...

@home

Just got back from looking at another property in Korea Town, by the Commonwealth. I really love this one! Concrete floors, concrete walls, amazing vibe; the building was built in 1911, it was once a hotel, there's mini air grates in the walls still where the first hotel refrigerators were installed, ice blocks were used then. The unit has an air shaft opposite windows, when both are opened there's a flow of cold air through that part of the unit that keeps the entire place relatively cool. It's amazing. Love it!

Going back Monday to put my application on this place -- and the other place in Larchmont. But I really want the one I saw today! So much personality. I see amazing things being created at the Commonwealth place!

Concrete walls. The property manager said I'll need someone who knows how to drill into concrete walls to hang my art pieces.

Wanted: experienced drill man!

"An Original Series"

More of these please!

Fu

PHO, rather.

 

Lunch.

 

 

 

I just got back from Korea Town/Larchmont. I was looking at a rental there, super small but perfect for my art space so I can get back to drawing. Due to my arthritic condition I can only hold a pencil for about 10-15 minutes at a time. Models will need to be comfortable with me taking reference shots rather than working with them live. And of course models are paid. I don't know who started the trend of not getting paid for your work -- get paid!   

 

 

 

 

The space I looked at in Korea Town is next to Bobby London. I think I would like to make Bobby London my drinking spot when working in the studio. It's still open yes? I've heard a lot of rumors about Bobby London, such as you can't get in if you're not Korean. But as it happens I am Korean. Maybe I'll be able to drink there too, provided they don't hear me talk!

 

The woman showing me the rental must have been Korean also. She hugged me when I said goodbye. Or she could have just been a very, very friendly lady.. ?

 

I gave up my life love of drawing last year. It just hurt my hand too much. But I miss drawing. Not to be dramatic, but sometimes it's agonizing how much I miss drawing. When I think of all the criticisms and labors I went through all my life just to get pieces into art exhibits, only for the love of drawing...

 

And...  

 

I think of Rick, my childhood friend who died last Thanksgiving...

 

 

Life is just too short.

 

Where there's a will there's a way! 

 

Make it happen!!

 

 

FARGO

Love the movie. This Fargo is a series based off it.

I'm watching Fargo because it has Bob Odenkirk In it, and he's brilliant! 
(Bob Odenkirk has about 30 seconds screen time in this episode!)

Billy Bob Thornton is amazing in this.

Tuesday nights, Fargo on FX. Oh heck yeah, you betcha!

They took my blood, Charlie!

I feel horrible. 

I didn't eat anything past 5pm last night as instructed, today they took my blood, lots and lots of blood,

And,

It seems there's nothing wrong with me... so far.

"I don't feel right inside." 

I feel like I'm dying. I'm not in any pain. I don't have a fever. I'm not coughing. Nothing is sore. My blood pressure is a little high (but that's normal).

I just don't feel... right.

"Is it possible you're pregnant?" the nurse asks me while drawing blood.

No. No chance whatsoever. But thank you for that split second panic attack!

It's interesting to me that I can get my HIV negative result in 20 minutes, but my cholesterol (etc.) results take 7 days.

I live a very healthy life,

But,

For the past week,

I just... don't feel right inside.

This summer I'm only going to focus on feeling well.

No dates. No sex. I've gone a year being abstinent. I think it's time again.
 
Just work. Projects. Friends. Family. Wellness. Looking and feeling great.

That's it.

Next week is Colcoa, the French Film Festival at the Director's Guild.

See you there!

Madmen

Wow that was incredibly boring. Horrible. Last season. No wonder.

Watch Ripper Street and Bates Motel.

Nymphomaniac Vol. II

Just saw it. Congratulations.

Vol. II is more of a film and less of an artsy experimental. It does go into (whatever you call men who hit women and refer to it as a “no-sex experience” meaning no penetration) and I know girls who love being spanked, hit, slapped, whipped and beaten (solely) by men. They do this act not for money, but for something else I am unable to connect and/or relate to beyond a psychological level. If you’ve ever taken a psych class, you know women find reclamation in many different and at times painful ways. People seek out learning their limits, immaturely through the physical, maturely through the psychological.   

In the scenes where Joe (the woman telling her story) is getting smacked around by K – the movie lost me. No appeal.

Getting hit, plus no penetration, by my definition, is not sexual, is not sexy, it’s just abuse. If I did that to someone, beat them for no particular reason other than to cause them pain, in order for me to even fathom going there, I would have to disregard you as a human being, as a living breathing creature, and in doing so, disregard myself as one also, and I certainly wouldn’t get off on it systematically I’m too intelligent. I see myself mid-swing and then wonder what the fuck I was doing, and why, eventually settling on the whole involvement as idiotic. Not saying penetration makes being beaten understandable, just less not comprehensible on an intellectual level. After all, rape has nothing to do with sex. Very little sex (if any) in this day and age has to do with sex. It’s not a bad thing. Just be honest what you use it for, falsely or not. Procreation? Money? Power? Fame? Escapism? Revenge? Boredom? Ego? Entitlement? Because really if you just want to get off, we adults have mastered this technique without requiring so much as a partner. Look at all the sex shops; masturbation is the only industry besides L.A. Fitness keeping up with Starbucks.  

America works out, so you'll masturbate thinking about us, and then binge on caffeine to stay in the ring a few extra rounds. 

America wants you to masturbate and who are we to not be patriotic!       

Anyway,

Nymphomaniac Vol. II does tell a story, a very good story.

Go see it, if for no other reason than to learn why Joe was found beat-up in the alley in Vol. I.

Vol. II explains it.

 

P.S. ever have this? It's called Eggs Mondaire

 

Ignore the potatoes.

 

Eggs Mondaire is eggs benedict with sliced tomato, bacon, and spinach.

 

If anyone needs me I'll be in a food coma until Monday night.

 

 

Stateland Cabernet Sauvignon

 

It's another BevMo! weekend.

 

One bottle of Stateland Cab $20. Second bottle $.05.

 

Who needs El Dorado Wine Tasting? 

 

So this book I'm reading is just awesome! Twentynine Palms by Daniel Pyne

I've now learned Jack's underage sidekick is only 14 years old.

AND,

Not only are two branches of law enforcement after Jack because they think he's murdered his ex lover and her two kids, AND not only is his best friend after him for boinking his wife, AND not only did someone drown his cat in the toilet (motherfuckers!), AND not only does he have the underage sidekick hanging around with him who is only 14 years old...

Jack, the handsome actor, nonetheless has the presence of mind to show up on his new movie set where he has a small bit role playing a priest.

Priorities, babe! Priorities!

I would go out tonight but nothing is catching my eye, plus I've (once again!) convinced myself I'm dying... I'm just going to stay in and read my book.

No really. I've totally convinced myself I'm dying. I have a doctor's appointment Tuesday to do full blood work.

Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation

Goddamnit! This is what happens when you're busy. I just recently watched/learned about Stephan Colbert's Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation, a (sarcastic/humorous) response to the Washington Redskin something-something football! And I missed it!

I would have loved to provide the Federal/California State Franchise Tax board 2014 with a receipt from the Ching Chong Ding Dong Foundation 

That would have been awesome! 

3 glasses of wine, 1 1/2 beers

Last night. And I still feel a little tipsy today. Dropping everything. Amateur. Tonight should be interesting.

I have nothing to do tonight.

Awkward.

So what do the big kids do on a Tuesday night?

Guess I could finish reading this book Twentynine Palms by Daniel Pyne.

So far the handsome actor (who got caught having sex with his best friend's wife) just escaped from jail with his underage female sidekick, after being arrested accused of murdering his last lover, the daughter of a hotel owner where he last spent the night. 

It's a self-help book.


And of course,

There's this bottle of wine I uncorked last night.

Hence the book.

Line 39 Pinot Noir

 

Just uncorked this wine.

It's very smooth. Sweet. Light in flavor. Inexpensive. 

 

I ate Chinese food twice today. Lunch. Dinner. White rice, glass noodle, chicken and green beans. Then chicken teriyaki vegetable stir-fry, that was amazing. 

And all night everyone kept commenting how sweet I smelled. Like honey.

Hmmm.

What could that have been?? 

What...

Could...

That...

Have...

Hint: It wasn't the Chinese food. But it does make you want more 3 hours later!

Look around here, you see nothing is very real

When I do my nails I listen to...

 

Slash N Burn
Kill to live
Kill for kicks
3rd world to the 1st
Kill to live

 

 

Trader Joe's Grand Reserve

Just uncorked this Cabernet Sauvignon. It's amazing.

 

I love Trader Joe's.

 

Only...

 

What the hell is the cork made out of, color crayon??

 

I can uncork wine in my sleep, but popping open this baby was harder than

 

 

 

David Duchovny

Caught him last night on The Tonight Show starring/Jimmy Fallon. Funny guy, and hotdad DILF. I too am not on "the Twitter" or "the Facebook" or "the Instagram".   

Bridlewood Pinot Noir

Dinner!

 

Hey kid...

At the mall. Some little kid just ran away from his mom and/or dad. The first getaway in a long future series of attempts. Kid looks like he's about six years old. Don't worry child, I'll keep an eye on you. Maybe your parent(s) will get his/her/their head out of whatever clearance sale long enough to notice you're gone. But if they don't, just know there's a plan B. We'll teach you all about Robert Oppenheimer, The Big Bang theory, reanimation, alternating current, direct current, Max Born, philosophy, and of course Neil deGrasse Tyson. There is no modern science without Neil deGrasse Tyson! Combine all that with a little Mary Shelley, and maybe one day you'll be able to revive your future beloved Golden Retriever "Henry" the next door neighbor accidentally ran over with her brand new Mercedes.    

Oh wait...

No...

There's your mom.

"Where have you been!" the mom yells at her kid.

Well...

He almost became a brilliant mad scientist, but then you had to come back and...

Anyway,

I love when moms yell at their 6 year old kids for running off like it's the kid's fault.

The kid just discovered how to use his legs. Of course he's going to run off. He was bored. His legs are the greatest invention in the world right now. Until he discovers the internet.