Good ho’ing (Update May 12)

May 12

There's a group of 30-40 something year olds who gather next door, outside, every day. They hang out for at least 12 hours a day just partying, smoking (a lot) of pot and talking, talking, talking... talking. 

They must make pot differently nowadays. When I was a teenager all I wanted to do after getting high was listen to music, laugh with my friends, zone out, and eat a Zantigo jumbo beef burrito supreme.

How do these stoned people have so much to talk about? I can't think of anyone I want to talk to for 12 hours a day, every day, I don't care how good the drugs are. 

Trump tweeted Asian Americans are mad at China. 

Um. No. 

Wrong as usual. I don't expect China's government to look after my best interest. I expect my president to. Well not Trump, he's an imbecile. I mean a real president. 

My fellow Asian Americans, it's time to get rid of that idiot currently in the White House. We're over 18 million strong. Come November vote Biden! 

Because Bitch McConnell, no sitting president has ever been this stupid.

Trump walked out on his own press briefing yesterday because he didn't like the tough questions ladies of the press were asking him. That's not even remotely cool when rockstars do it.

And

Not to rub it in every Republican's face right now but...

I TOLD YOU SO. I told you so. Woooo! I fucking told you so. 

And it only took 26 days. 

Back in the day when my my dad ran for local union president, back when union delegates wore heavy leather jackets and every office had mini bars the size of three star hotel refrigerators, no man, no real man would walk out on a woman asking him how he's going to make things better, sure as hell not in front of a camera, especially at his own damn press briefing. 

Women everywhere, all over the globe are laughing at Trump, and you for supporting him.

How does that feel?

May 11

Trump's a POS. I know it. You know it. Changes nothing. 

People need to wear masks outside of their homes. I know it. You know it. Changes nothing. People will do what they want. Wear a mask. Not wear a mask.

All's I'm saying is, there has to be forward progress. 2 months later and the death toll keeps rising. The number infected keep rising. 

It's like the flat earthers, everyone else knows the earth is round, there's pictorial evidence the earth is round. And still they're going to fight it. Same with this virus. We know it's there. We know it's killing people. But people are going to fight it. 

That's all I'm saying. 

I went out for a little exercise and ran some errands this evening before the sun set. Out of every 10 people, only two or three people were wearing masks including myself. I saw parents out with their kids in groups, no one wearing masks. No social distancing. People are tired of wearing masks. They're tired of social distancing. They're tired of being shut in. 

If you have an underline medical condition, you have to stay inside. You just have to. Or be willing to risk exposure. It's not fair but people are going to do what they do. 

Survival of the fittest now.

End of days. 

It was "lickspittle" 

We got you at "lickspittle" 

😉

I appreciate your 30 day optimism but I'm going to YouTube your "What I like about you" lists per clip. 

First clip will be your list of actors. Why only 28 names? And I'm guessing whoever made this list of actors is under 35 years old. Amiright? 

May 10 

I love it when white bitch Trump supporters eyeball me as I walk past them, but they're the ones NOT WEARING MASKS. 

Granted, I was carrying 3 large bags of ice and a roll of duct tape, but...

MIND YOUR BUSINESS!!! WHERE Y'ALL MASKS?!!!!!

For the love of Starbucks, spell "y'all" correctly or 15-25 year olds everywhere will lose their minds faster than motorists in the no left turn lane!

May 8

Mine too. Many people in my age group aren't staying home. They're not wearing masks. I've been back in L.A. for eight weeks. Have not seen the ocean yet. Meanwhile several people I know are posting photos of themselves at the beach, downtown, at the parks and popular hiking trails, no masks.

What do you want me to do about it?

I wish they wore masks.

I wish they took free testing more seriously.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
And a six four Impala!

The people wearing masks in cars by they oneself are most likely Lyft, Uber, etc., Grubhub drivers. It's easier to keep it on.

I wear a mask when I go out for run/walk for among other obvious reasons I just like wearing a bandana now. I get you OG 1984. I get you! Gonna find me a horse, name her Greta, and go mining for diamonds and gold. Hoo-wee.

Gold flows through these veins.

Diamonds flow through these veins.

Cheese dip and tetracycline flow through these veins!

(Sigh)

I miss Cincinnati style chili.

What're we talking about again?

Right

People giving not one fuck.

That's not anything new. People have not given a fuck for yeeeears. That's why there WERE precautionary measures in place because of those people, and then yet one more person didn't give a fuck, the current president.

Of all the lessons learned regarding this pandemic, the one lesson that sticks out for me above all others is, older white people will lose their goddamm minds.

Every day during a pandemic is Holy Shit Day with white people over the age of 65. 

THIS IS HOW to pandemic over 65

GOD BLESS YOU SIR HOPKINS

Holy Shit Day is not just for old white people, wealthy white people too.

If you're white and wealthy, and insist on naming your newborn child something that sounds like it should only belong in prescription drugs, that kid better be made entirely out of valium... and heroin.

Of all the old white dudes in America, this one does not scare me in the least. 

This one gives me hope.

AND THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE

Sure, it's politics.

Common sense is on you. That's your responsibility.

THE WORLD IS NOT ENDING chicken little. Calm the fuck down.

Test if you can - sympathetic to those who cannot make it to testing centers

Wear a mask around others
Don't touch your face
Wash your hands
Avoid large crowds
Don't be a dick

Jesus fucking christ

Old white people

Ohmmmm
Ohmmmm

"How did Triscuits stay in business with just the original flavor?"
-- Aramis

WHA... WHAT?! What did you say?! Way to interrupt my meditation! Triscuits are fucking amazing!

HOW ARE WE EVEN FRIENDS!

"Goldfish are amazing."
-- Aramis

Ok. Yes. I forgive you. Goldfish are amazing. I accept your apology.

Wait.

We're talking about the crackers right?

My generation may be hooked on caffeine, drugs, and alcohol, but I rely on friendships from my generation to keep me sane from the hyper sensative scream-o's with zero ability to cope, who want you to lack coping skills with them, and are completely clueless beyond a two block radius.

I am 100% on board with friends under 65 without underline medical conditions, without any symptoms of illness, hanging out together in someone's private home. So long as...

Test if you can -- sympathetic to those who cannot make it to testing centers.

Wear a mask around others
Don't touch your face
Wash your hands
Avoid large crowds (especially if you're over 65)

Don't be a dick. 

Don't be a dick, saves more lives than medicine. She said basing that entirely on opinion. 

May 6

Thank you for being a friend; Traveled down a road and back again; Your heart is true, you're a pal and a confidant...

Remember back in 2014 when we joked about cannibalism? 

BACK WHEN WE JOKED ABOUT CANNIBALISM

HA HA JOKING

JOKING

HA HA

HA

Yeah. I'm thinking we shouldn't do that anymore.

And once again, not to beat a dead POV further, but who needs the political drama of human wet markets?

We are FAR FROM OVER coronavirus.

The YouTube clip of Japanese honey bees killing a HORNET with body heat is four years old. 

What you should be watching is the Nat Geo YouTube clip of Japanese honey bees killing a hornet. Because even though that clip is thirteen years old, nothing beats hearing the narrator dramatically ending that segment by saying, "And the secret of the honey bees location dies with her." Adding a visual of the dead hornet, fetal position, cooked alive. Followed by...

The upbeat Nat Geo theme song "Dun dun dun du da!...."

https://youtu.be/K6m40W1s0Wc

MURDER HORNET does not like!

DOES NOT LIKE!

May 5

When the other Klan children won’t play with you...

“One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do

Two can be as bad as one

It's the loneliest number since the number one

No, is the saddest experience you'll ever know

Yes, it's the saddest experience you'll ever know..”

MURDER HORNET does not like!

DOES NOT LIKE!

Cinco de Mayo!

I have no idea why you're fighting getting tested for coronavirus. 

The faster people test negative, the faster the state can fully reopen without the threat of a relapse in October. Which, by the way, could very well happen thanks to all these rebels not social distancing, not getting tested, and not wearing face masks. 

Common sense. And the test is free. What's the problem?

Get tested. Schedule a free test. 

(Click the link)

SCHEDULE YOUR FREE COVID TEST

Save a life.

May 4

The IRS said whatnow?

May the 4th be with you!!!

Hey gang! So tomorrow we're getting free coronavirus testing! Yay!

Remember when we used to get together for wine, charcuterie, and good times?

No. No. This is waaaaay more funner.

Everyone absolutely must get tested regardless if you're symptomatic.

My friends and I don't have symptoms but we're getting tested anyway because it's the responsible thing to do!

Of course we'll all test negative because MURDER HORNETS!

EVERYONE GET TESTED. IT'S FREE. Thanks to Governor Newsom, doing what that useless pathetic excuse of a president refused to do!!!

Thank you Governor Newsom!!! ❤

Make your appointment today!!!!

(Click the link)

SCHEDULE YOUR FREE COVID TEST

What Trump tried to rally...

What Trump got...

He doesn't know who Lincoln was, Mister Walsh. Trump is the dumbest white orange man on the planet.

See you at the testing!

May 3

It’s embarrassing watching Jeanine try so hard to be a pretty blonde white girl. Her parents are Lebanese, right?   

Anytime these twats need to see video of their fearless “Just grab ‘em by the pussy!” leader, I’m CERTAIN it can be arranged. And I call them twats because they don’t mind. “Grab ‘em by the pussy!” Is a compliment for them. They love being called twats, bitches, whores, dogs, that’s what Trump calls women, so...

Look at these two nasty bitch dogs! 

60,000 DEAD AMERICANS

1,000,000 STILL INFECTED 

Keep reposting this. If you support Trump, don't complain about money. You must obviously be wealthy.

May 2

Day drinking. Friday evening story telling.

That time we all watched TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE, and EVIL DEAD, and I almost lost my eye! 

https://youtu.be/2HO29dLPYCk

And

We all hate Kayleigh McEnany, right? Apparently she doesn't know we have Twitter screengrabs, and video of Trump talking in press briefings since day 1 of his batshit crazy presidency. Oh well. Her problem.

Let's go put her in the shit storm.

May 1

You think my loved one with a heart condition should die, so you can go to the beach? 

🤯

What she said.

April 30

Tara Reade, no one believes you. The alleged assault supposedly took place in 1993. Hello? 1993. No filed complaint. Ever. And you're just now coming out with your story during a presidential election year? 

🙄

Attention seeking ho. Get therapy. 

April 29

“I’m a ho, but I’m a good ho, because I know what I am. And my objective was to get to the point where I can pimp myself.”

—  ICE T, FINALLEVEL, ICE COLD FACT

SIGN. ME. UP. 

(Click the link)

HAVE WE MET?

I look like a crazy serial killer here. Geez. SNAPPED here comes grandma! I only wear them when I read. I prefer to not be able to see rest of the time. Makes life more livable.

Catonestray@gmail.com

Hey! 👋🏻 good news boys and girls, looks like we’re getting the F out of this shut-in sooner than later! Hooray!  

Until then here’s some extremely mild entertainment for you. Otherwise known as a video chat with an old woman in bed who just talks about nonsense things, not letting you get a word in. 

I would make more effort to be entertaining but I was always under the impression that really old women half in the bag were already entertaining all by their onesie. 

(Click the links) 

IF HUGH HEFFNER WAS A WOMAN. AND NOT HUGH HEFFNER.

A LITTLE LESS DRUNK. NOT MUCH. STILL CHATTY.

Sorry animals. We gave you back your planet for a few weeks but, humans are coming back to fuck it all up again. My apologies. I really wish you guys had thumbs.

Pablo Neruda. (Swoon!)

PABLO NERUDA, LOVE

My fellow Asian Americans, it's time to get rid of that idiot currently in the White House. We're over 18 million strong. Come November vote Biden! 

We were raised by post-it’s (update April 28)

April 28

FOUND IT!

It aired all over the country in the 70's and 80's because they knew there was a good chance mom and/or dad would be sitting in front of the TV if they were home at all.

(Click the link!)

https://youtu.be/jBy9VDEWKOE

APRIL 27

I'm milking the fear of Asians and coronavirus, for the rest of my life. I'd love to have sex with you but I broke out this morning in a RAGING case of coronavirus. It's itchy. Rash. Contagious. There's no cure. I have to stay home and self isolate for the next 6 months. It's the only way to get rid of it. Sorry.

30 years after WW2 ended, American children were still practicing air raid drills. Kids today don't know what those are. So here's Lewis Black, to explain it for you. 😂

LEWIS BLACK EXPLAINS AIR RAID DRILLS

Alright, which one of you hates love? That's a great poem! 

FOR ALL YOU LOVE HATERS OUT THERE

If you got the time, I got more mildly, mildly entertaining...

MISTER FRANKENSTEIN

OH HI. WHATCHA DOIN’ THERE NOW?

Sheltered in fluorescent lighting has turned my grey hair yellow I think.

My fellow Asian Americans, it's time to get rid of that idiot currently in the White House. We're over 18 million strong. Come November vote Biden! 

And that’s why... (update April 25)

APRIL 25

I started filming my next YouTube reading...

But I keep messing up. 

Try again tomorrow. 

Woke up to SEX AND THE CITY marathon? At last! I love this show. It's my favorite New York fantasy.

I love New York. 

Love love love... 

APRIL 24

Drunk Poetry Corner, with catonestray@gmail

What's a senior citizen to do but snort bleach and post drunkard clips on YouTube? Got a better idea? I'm down until the disinfectant kicks in. And then you probably should call 911. On second thought, no, please don't.

I don't have kids. Gotta leave my mark somehow. Tonight I'm reading love poems, drunk. 

I really butchered Jabberwocky, but that's a tough one to begin with. 

Drunk poetry. Click the link.

MAKING THE INTRODUCTION

BUTCHERING the F out of JABBERWOCKY

My fellow Asian Americans, it's time to get rid of that idiot currently in the White House. We're over 18 million strong. Come November vote Biden! 

Drunk on camera. Again. (Update April 24)

APRIL 24

I post a clip on IG. Of course the clip got cut off. 🙄 Too big. You know how it is. 

(Click the link)

Hey YOUTUBE, I’m 51 years old and so have wine!

I'm way nicer after I drink a bottle of wine. I know I said it wasn't going to be fancy but there's eight video clips, 14 plus minutes. It's gonna be a little fancy in addition to what I record today sober.

I just wanted to eat nachos and cheese. Who doesn't like watching people eat nachos and cheese? But oh no. Not good enough for you snobs. 

🥘 NACHOoooo SOUND ON

California doesn't make cheese curds, or so I've never seen any. The only reason you like eating those things is for the squeak they make against your teeth. Pervert. 

Logged on Twitter. Logged off. I don't understand moms bringing their babies to large crowds but then again I don't understand 8 month pregnant strippers on the pole. Unlike OUR PARENTS who raised us via post-it notes. 

(How are we still alive?)

APRIL 23 

And by a few glasses of wine I obviously meant the entire bottle.

TRUMP IS A MORON. DO NOT INJECT DISINFECTANT INTO YOUR BODY.

LIGHT DOES NOT CURE CORONAVIRUS.

I have opinions. You know this. I spew those opinions here and on social media so's not to spew them during inappropriate times... like in front of your mom who thought I was adorable until I said people over 50 are terribly dull unless they're intoxicated. Would you like a glass of wine? 

I'm still drawing. Not enough. 

Like you I've been sheltering in place during this pandemic for the past six weeks, also putting my life back together from living in that shithole called Vegas for the last two and half years. Just been too busy/distracted. That, and starting a new drawing is always difficult for me anyway. 

To break the silence of these four walls I'm doing what all the old women my age are doing, YouTube! 

Something simple. Nothing fancy. Just a few glasses of wine, read some cool stuff I found online. Some things long forgotten. Some things that shouldn't be forgotten. Some things no one probably cares about but me. Withal, I'm recording my first video tonight. Of course I'm currently experiencing technical difficulty. Meh. It’s only rock ‘n roll but...

I showered. Put on makeup. Blew out my hair. Not wearing pants though. I draw the line at pants. 

No filters. That dead skin color remains. 

A loved one who knows me quite well said don’t just read your depressing moody broody stuff. Welp, the two historical speeches I found are both rather depressing (fuck!) but I’ll be drinking while I do this so... 

Who knows what will be recorded? 

(One stray cat) Catonestray@gmail.com

Please refrain from emailing porn. I’m 100 years old. Haven’t had intercourse since September 2017. I would just critique hair, makeup, and camera angles at this point.

My fellow Asian Americans, it's time to get rid of that idiot currently in the White House. We're over 18 million strong. Come November vote Biden! 

Don't be such a Dennis! (Update April 23)

April 23

Just remember Asian Americans, we're over 18 million strong!

6:08am

Has anyone checked on Anderson Cooper, recently? Is he ok? 

Mayor Carolyn Goodman, is the Leona Helmsley, of Las Vegas. The queen of greed. Batshit crazy old woman. She’s represents Las Vegas, perfectly. Las Vegas is the oldest, ugliest, fattest, worst hooker ever. 

WHAT A DUMP. After the mob, sin city just turned into one big garbage receptacle. Greedy. Dumpy. Dirty AF town. 

The only reason Carolyn Goodman became mayor was because her husband, Oscar Goodman, was the previous mayor and everyone loved him. He was amazing. His wife, not so much. 

She wanted to run homeless people out of town. When that didn’t work she harassed homeless people every day with street cleaners at all hours day and night. When residents protested her ill treatment of homeless people, Carolyn Goodman, replied, “Gee, it’s fun to complain.”

Drag this bitch. Drag her hard!

April 22

1:29pm

Fixed it!!

The worst president this country has ever seen. Ever. 

10:02am

I have no idea how Trump can wish Kim Jong Un, well. It goes beyond my understanding. But then again...

4:14am

Instead of the tramp stamp, the Trump stamp? 

No

Love of god

NO!

Remove humans, then every day is Earth Day. 

3:41am

The second this quarantine is over you better believe lawsuits will been filed from here until Christmas 2025.

Lawyers, personal trainers, and.... hair salons, apparently... will be the first to recoup their financial losses.

I forgot how much natural hair color blows peoples minds. "Natural hair color? Nooooo!!!"

"Give me peroxide or give me death!" 

If... you... insist?

April 21

Biden needs to be more vocally assertive and less scream-o. Women are not attracted to scream-o men. It's what makes Governor Cuomo, attractive. The way he talks. The way he conducts himself. "You're going to be an a-hole, fine. Here's how we handle a-holes." It's only a New York thing because of his accent. Apart from that, it's a generational thing. Women want Frank Sinatra and Johnny Cash charisma in the worlds of politics and trade. Dating too. 

My generation's fathers didn't yell. They were businessmen who took care of business. And they never talked about their business. They never brought it home. Women want men to fix whatever is broken. Don't bring it home with you. Don't preach. Don't yell. Just fix it. That is the cross men bear. There's so much talking during this pandemic, we don't care what you say anymore, just fix it. Fix the pandemic. Fix the social divide. Lead the country.

Fix it!

Which now brings me to Tucker Carlson, and the men of his ilk. Ratings are like dick pics. Neither one really matter to most women unless attached to someone we already like. And you sirs, are no Matt Passmore.

Matt Passmore played Detective Jim Longworth, in 2010 TV show The Glades, or as I called it, The Hot Guy show, as my ex-husband can tell you.

Normally I don't give a fuck-all about Tucker Carlson. 7 years, I've never mentioned him. After today I doubt I'll mention him again.

Have whatever opinion you want about about women, or a woman in particular, that's your right. Sell politics if that's what you get paid to do. Have your narrow minded racial, sexual, gender discriminating opinions. Again, that's your right. As long as you do it from way over there, I couldn't care less. Violence only occurs when opposition is too incompetent to reach people any other way. That said, in a political war, like the one we're in right now, those of us who love to cataloging material, cannot help but marvel at the self destruction and daily melt downs of almost every top Republican television personality. Every day as of late is "Holy shit did he just say that?" Day.

What day is it? Holy shit, day.

"My body. My right." A phrase pro choice marchers have been using since women's liberation put boots on the ground. And these are the words Republican television male personalities are using for their right to... eat hotdogs in public during a pandemic?

"My hair won't cut itself!" <------ That's your argument for prematurely opening the states?!

Have all the writers for every Republican based television network just simultaneously up and quit? Because if that's the case, go dark! As much as I would love to watch you guys metaphorically murder what's left of your conservative party, Trump will murder all of us before the month's end.

What day is it? Holy shit, day.

Manners maketh man.

Did Tucker Carlson really just get on national television and bash AOC because of her upbringing? Because he doesn't think she grew up poor enough? Yes. Yes he did. And here is where television network writers would have really come in handy because none of ya'll can make a decent well thought out point. Instead you just sound like a bunch of bickering 20-something makeup artists on YouTube dishing the tea. Aaand then Tucker thanked wikipedia for providing him with the tea on AOC's upbringing.

"She grew up privileged!" Tucker scoffed. So then I went on wikipedia and did something I otherwise never would have cared enough to do, I searched Tucker Carlson. Aaaand (What day is it?)

According to wiki, Tucker has some serious mommy issues. His bio-mom choose the swinging "bohemian" lifestyle over being a wife and mother and then got re-married to an artist, eeewwww! But worry not, dad re-married up, the frozen dinner heiress to Swanson. But because of his mommy abandonment issues and obvious inferiority/superiority complex due to having gone to, what university was it again? Oh wait, my mistake, what college was it again? Ah. Trinity. Yale, lite. Liberal arts. Political science. Because that's what the world needs, more poli-sci classes. Tucker much rather use his cultivation to read off a television prompter insulting women rather than strut his education saying something that might matter to someone who has the potential to change the world entirely for the better. FOR THE BETTER.

I'm not sure if Tucker is aware of this but he was recently outclassed by Piers Morgan.

Pierce (fucking) Morgan. I am not a fan.

Where am I?

What day is it?

(Holy shit! Day)

Tucker Carlson outclassed by this guy...

https://youtu.be/jv1gCFy3iMI

I'm also not a fan of CNN, but that was pretty amazing.

I would like to live in a world where I get to (at least) choose political candidates by who I like and respect the most, rather than picking political candidates by way of who I absolutely hate the least. 

I don't like CNN or Piers Morgan, but that was cool. 

Happy National Tea Day (how fitting!)

My cup of tea. Only I pour milk in after I brew because I'm American and I like to see just what exactly is going into my mouth without a whole lot'ta guess work, thank you very much.

Panda butt! You're welcome. 

April 20

"Open the state! Open the car dealerships! I need a Porsche! I need a Porsche right the fuck now! Open the state! Open the state! AAAAAHHHHHH MOTHERFUCKERS open the state!!!!"

You can afford a Porsche?

"No. But it's not America if I can't buy a Porsche!!!"

You know Porsche isn't even American made, so... How about a Chevy? Ford? Bicycle? Treadmill? 

My three favorite nazi protesters are: the woman who wants businesses to reopen so she can get her roots done (honey, the roots of your hair is the least of your problems), the protester who told an Asian American nurse in scrubs to go back to China, and the idiots who are outside protesting in general. Meanwhile I know people in CA who don't give a single fuck and just go outside to the beaches and wherever they want sans face mask. Do I approve? No, of course not. WTF you want me to do about it?

All these people protesting the quarantine apparently cannot survive 30 days without a hair salon or a bar, but they're dressed like hunters who give the vibe they can live off the land. What a bunch of phonies.

Am I happy about the quarantine? Of course not. But three bottles of decent wine for price of one night out isn't the end of the world either. 

A state can prematurely open businesses but that doesn't mean the businesses are going to open. 

If that woman gets her hair done at a salon, I hope she's not paying more than $7 for that cut and color. Because that is most def a $7 hairdo(n't).

Taco Bell hot sauce packets are having way more fun than the rest of us. They're the candy hearts of quarantine. 

Tattoos or it didn't happen!

April 19

345!

I thought Woodland Hills/Calabasas was supposed to be kind of a yuppie and a slightly sophisticated area. It's so not! Holy shit. There's a lot of sketchy AF people here. Trash ghetto, like people you would find on Jerry Springer. Their parents worked hard so they never had to, kind of people, who will leave absolutely nothing but debt for their own children. "Thanks mom. And that's why years from now we're leaving you to rot in an old folks home."

Downtown may be where the hobos live but at least they have good reason for being crazy like hardship and despair. Unlike...

The only thing you need to know about Jeanine Pirro, is her downfall began when her husband went to jail for tax evasion, which is on him not her, but then she admittedly tried to wiretap his yacht to catch him in an affair. Good lord. Right there you know she's a nut. Wiretap your cheating husband? Seriously? Talk about pages taken directly out of the SNAPPED playbook, all 28 seasons.

You either love someone or you don't. Going through their personal belongings, spying on them, playing games, that's not love. That's season 29.

Jeanine's public alcoholic rants don't help her either. 

I like to get my drunk-on too sometimes but behind closed doors like a decent American.

She tries so hard to be Laura Ingraham. But she just isn't that white. Isn't Jeanine, Lebanese? Classic case of self loathing. 

Dr. Phil, isn't a doctor. He plays one on TV. He's not a psychiatrist either. To be psychiatrist one must be licensed and Dr Phil has not had a license in over ten years. I'll let you kids do the discovery as to why.

COVID-19 is contagious. Drowning in a swimming pool is not.

COVID-19 is contagious. Getting into a car accident is not.

Maybe if Dr Phil still had his license he could comprehend the difference.

That picture of DeSantis, still makes me laugh.

"He knows how to wear a face mask right?"

"Of course. Everyone's been wearing them for the past five weeks."

"Still, you think we should maybe give him a quick tutorial before he gets in front of the camera?"

"What? No. He'll be fine." 

Corona road rage!

Hey kids, ever hear of this fancy coffee place called Starbucks? It's a thing. Started in Seattle. I think it might actually take off.

Yesterday one of the Starbucks nearby only had the drive-thru open. Problem was that drive-thru Starbucks is located at the bottom of a freeway offramp, and there was a line of cars at least 25 strong waiting to go through the drive-thru. Location. Location. Location. The line of cars was ever growing until inevitably conflicting with cars trying to get off the freeway, and cars trying to turn right. Road rage was ever mounting, but then, out of the chaos, poetry, one little white 1980-something Corvette decided it no longer gave a single fuck.

That little Corvette, that little 1980 Corvette a'corona, spun its heels and jackknifed it up the embankment, into the gas station nearly murdering a guy pumping gas, squeeled past the remaining three pumps, further beating the concrete with a 90 degree semi circle ending at the sidewalk, then barreled down 180 horsepower once more into oncoming traffic, and cruised down the opposing lane until it disappeared. Less than two minutes later the Corvette returned in the oncoming lane it originally beat through. I guess the driver finally composed himself and remembered where he was going.

I'm going to leave you for now with this beautiful link of Governor Cuomo, teaching Trump how to be a real man.

SO HOT. BETTER THAN PORNO.

April 18

I love him. 

And the angry Trumpsters chant, "Fire Fauci! Fire Fauci! ... Oh wait. Let me put on my protective face mask... Hunnner Chahki! Hunnner Chahki!"

I have more coming I just have a lot going on right now.

Hey guess what?

If you own a non essential business on Ventura blvd. and you remain open even after DWP shuts you down, just know people are not afraid to call the police on you. Holy shit. I was out on my run, wearing my face mask of course, when suddenly two police officers pulled up in front of me, got out of their car and started walking rather quickly right for me. I immediately stopped and reached for my ID, I might have even put my hands up in the air, but just then the police breezed right past me to the tiny gym (workout center) behind me. I spun around and saw the police trying to get inside the gym. The guy inside was screaming at the police to get away from the doors, "Don't touch the doors! Get away from the doors! Get the fuck away from the doors!" Yeah I so did not stick around.

For the past month the owner (I presume) of that gym has the same workout schedule as mine. I either run in the morning and/or later in the afternoon and he's always there with someone working out albeit lately in the dark. All the bikes and treadmills face the giant window wall. Do those work without electricity? I honestly did not think it was a crime for the owner and a friend to work out at his own gym, but whatever, apparently it is. Heavy. End of days. One of his business neighbors probably just got mad. You know how it is. 

Unlike these people who will never see the inside of a gym, or a library. 

And since we're shut in until.. May 15?

Check out this movie. It's awesome. I love Sean Penn, in this. 

Here's a YouTube link to the trailer.

https://youtu.be/q0ryRwKkKI4

April 17

Meanwhile Florida Republican governor Ron DeSantis, puts on his face mask...

Hannity showing us his technique on how to do whatnow? 

April 16

Exciting news moms and dads, Dr Oz estimates only 2-3% of your kids will die when he and Trump prematurely reopen the schools. Hooray! Dr Oz is super excited. "Only 2-3% of the children could die." 

Only?

I think this is Trump's way of saying "If I'm not elected for a second presidential term I'm taking out some of your kids with me."

Yep. He sure does.

It's amazing. There is no limit to Trump's stupidity. To his back talk. To his blame game. How can anyone be proud to be an American with this moron in the White House?

And while people poke fun of Biden being old, they're all old except for Yang and Buttigieg, and ya'll didn't want them. Plus Trump is the social media president. Everything he should be saying using only his inside voice, he screams it all over social media and in front if the camera like no one's going to use it against him later? Are you fucking kidding me? I got enough video and screen-grabs of Trump's Twitter buffoonary to make anyone with an IQ over 40 laugh for hours. We all do. Where do you think the video clips come from?

Trump's followers are just as dumb. Dumber! The laundromat is about 3 blocks from where I'm staying. I don't want to go but I have to. My room doesn't have a washer or dryer. I put on my face mask, grab the spray sanitizer, say a little prayer and head out to the laundromat. Not one block later this fat (huge!) white couple come wobbling towards me. They're so fat they don't walk like normal people with one foot in front of the other, but rather have to swing each foot to the side in a half circle. Holy shit. I thought people only walked that way in The Simpsons. He's wearing a Trump hat. She's in a muumuu. Neither one are wearing face masks. Fucking christ. I already hate these people. Irritated AF. I walk around them into the street (6 feet social distance motherfucklards!) until I pass Godzilla and her monster whale of a husband, and then got back on the sidewalk and continued on my way. But for whatever reason they took offense to my being able to walk at a normal person's pace, and started screaming at me like it's my fault they're fat, ugly, and stupid. Had I stopped and waited for either of them to catch up to me, it would have taken the HeavyMcLardAsses at least 20 minutes and I have things to do. That's right I fat shame when no one can walk past you on the sidewalk. THEN...

At the laundromat another man-twat in a Trump hat NOT WEARING A FACE MASK acted like he couldn't understand what my hand gesture of "Is this cart yours?" meant. It's universal, you moron. Like "is anyone using this chair?" or the "check" hand gesture, or pretty much anything a four year old could understand. Not Trump supporters! "We're dumb as fuck and proud!"

I really have zero tolerance for stupid people. Candace Owens, bitched on Twitter that she got tossed out of a Whole Foods for not wearing a face mask. Good! What part of pandemic do you not understand?" Candice Owens isn't a stupid woman. She's just willing to put her health on the line to make news. "If I can go outside without a face mask so can you."

Sure I can. But I'm not going to.

Trump's insane. He's perfectly fine killing your elderly parents and your children (only 2-3%) just to restart the economy.

Only 2-3% of your children will die. So go on, put them back in school. What could possibly go wrong? Maybe they won't die? Maybe?

Hey I have a question. If you're all so sure it's safe to go outside then why were you all sitting in your individual cars blocking streets, and ambulances, and fire trucks, to protest the quarantine?

I want this pandemic over as much as the next person. I don't know how much longer I can eat grocery store food. God bless you store employees for working. Seriously. It's just, I miss the going OUT part of eating out. Furthermore, let's get real here. Most of us were into social distancing before the pandemic. Add to that, a lot people really should wear protective face masks when they go out. Coughing and sneezing into their fucking hands and not washing them afterwards. If they bother covering their mouths at all.

I'd love to go out, but...

Over 34,000 deaths. How do you ignore that?

54,000 recovered doesn't make up for 34,000 dead. And if it does for you, put your kids back in school.