Today I make way into Korea town. All the boba, and tteobokki I can eat. Yum! I finally got my appetite back. It was gone for about four days. I just felt awful. It was a month ago I had my stroke. I'm less and less freaked out about it. Getting better. I've been staring at the same bottle of unopened wine for the past five days. No desire to drink it really. That's how you know I wasn't feeling good.
Are there gyms in LA I can just day pay? There has to be.
The hospital that took wonderful care of me when I had my stroke, Saint John's, gave me a contact list for stroke survivor support groups. I'm kind of interested going but I'm going to be honest here, I think it would just be really uncomfortable. I'm very lucky I survived. I know that. I appreciate just how lucky I am being as how I was about to have a second stroke and most likely would have died had I not taken the head pain seriously enough to call 911. But I'm also lucky because I have no facial drooping and no paralysis. My speech and motor skills get better every day. I can dress myself and shower no problem. I'm about 85% better. The only real pain I have are the side effects from all the medication I take. Be that, it's the almost dying part that still freaks me out a little. The world spun hard, and the lights were either going to go out or stay on. By the grace of god they stayed on, this time. The only people you can really talk about it with are others who experienced what you experienced, but again, I got lucky, no facial drooping and no paralysis. I think I would be uncomfortable being around those who had a much worse stroke than me, and then have the audacity to talk about my stroke experience and recovery when by the grace of god, or however it happened, I came out the other end pretty much untouched. I probably won't go to the support group.
I just don't understand it. I really don't.
I had a tumor. Not cancer. I had a stroke. Survived. No paralysis or facial drooping. I don't get it. I hope I'm meant to save a child's life or something. My dad, Rick, Byron, who were all doing amazing things with their lives, all died of cancer. Why am I still here?? WTF is going on?
MARCH 29, 2021
(7:27am)
HERE WE GO. Derek Chauvin's ex-wife is reportedly Laotion. From Laos. I was going to write a blog about just this very subject after Senator Duckworth refused to support Biden's nominees unless they're Asian ... Fucking Christ. What is it? What's the problem here? I get that people don't like interracial relationships because they personalize it and feel left out, or they feel under minded, or they feel as if something was stolen from them. I get that's their mindset. It's completely loony toons but I get that's where they're coming from. I've dated white men, married a white man, divorced a white man, and continue dating white men. And you know who gets the angriest directly at me? Not Asian men. Black men. Black men get the angriest directly AT ME for being sexually attracted to white men. I suppose Asian men would get angry directly at me too but they're too busy dating white women. 😏
I'm 100% against affirmative action. Hire whoever you think is best suited for the job. Senator Duckworth needs to get her priorities straight. Hysterical liberal.
"I've got some real honest to god battles to fight Leo. I don't have time for the cosmetic ones." - Fitzwallace, West Wing
(6:58am)
The L.A. Riots of 1992 was the result of four police officers being acquitted for the excessive force beating of Rodney King. And then somehow it morphed into an anti Korean movement where community race relations diplomats had come out and heal the relationship between black and Asian communities. I mean?
(6:45am)
I'm back. Whatever got me sick for three days stressed me out. Day 30 post stroke. I'm alive!!! ALIVE!!! I'm doing my best to adjust to the side effects of my stroke meds. I've been living on yogurt, unsalted nuts, vegetables, fruit, and veggie patties for what seems like forever. And then I realized I hadn't gone #2 in many many days. 😳 But I look fantastic! I went on my 40 minute walk yesterday. That felt great. Of course it wore me out to the point I took an hour nap afterwards... Baby steps. I gotta get off the meds though. That's a real thing. No one should have to "adjust" to the level of fatigue, dizziness, and muscle pains I experience every day. It's no way to live. "But the meds are keeping your blood pressure down." It's no way to live. The meds make you feel more like shit than the illness.
I don't know how I'm feeling this blonde hair. I miss my grey hair.
I'm glad I'm not in Minneapolis right now. My nephew lives in the art district of North Minneapolis. I hope he stays home. He went out during the protests. I just hope he stays home now during the trial. Order your groceries now. Take it from someone who moved to Los Angeles just months before the L.A. Riots of 1992, just stay home.
MARCH 28, 2021
(8:34am)
110/77 after morning meds. Good.
I've been feeling pretty bad last three days. This morning I feel ok. After I get rid of the tea and water I just drank I'll go for my 30 minute walk. I haven't walked in three days. I also need to eat more fish. I've been living on fruit, nuts, and yogurt for the past three days. I felt better when I smoked and drank until 4am. No kidding. Long life is a racket.
On the plus it seems jobs are coming back to LA. I don't know what kind of low stress desk job I can get in this day and age... Maybe I should write a cookbook?
MARCH 27, 2021
(5:12am)
Some guy outside of Ralphs was trying to get signatures to ban pot dispensaries. I'm not a fan of the smell. That's the only thing about pot that irritates me. Other than that I couldn't care less. I smoked pot when I was a teenager. Not my thing. I do however appreciate the medicinal affects it has on (say) cancer patients. Whatever takes the pain away and helps you eat. Just wish it wasn't so smelly.
(4:55am)
118/85 pre morning meds.
I don't want to take the meds anymore. I'm so tired afterwards. I know the doctors will say my blood pressure is only manageable with the meds but I don't believe it.
I can't live this way.
Side effects of Amlodipine:
Swelling
Excess fluid in the lungs
Headache
Fatigue
Palpitations
Dizziness
Nausea
Flushing
Abdominal pain
Sleepiness
In men, sexual disorder
Drowsiness
Itching
Muscle cramps
Skin Rash
Muscle weakness
Side effects of Lisinopril:
Dizziness
Cough
Headache
High potassium
Diarrhea
Low blood pressure
Chest pain
Fatigue
Nausea
Rash
Psoriasis
All of these side effects hit me all at once in the past two weeks. I can't be this exhausted all the time. You don't adjust. This isn't normal.
MARCH 26, 2021
(8:22pm)
The meds work because they keep you fatigued. That's one of the side effects.
(3:50pm)
Yay my pee is almost orange. I gotta get off these meds. I can't do it anymore.
(1:07pm)
It has to be the meds. I can't live like this. I took a 20 minute walk and was just exhausted. I can't live this way. I rather have high blood pressure and energy than low blood pressure and struggle to chew a piece of celery.
What's the point of low blood pressure if you're bed ridden?
(10:08am)
We were all young and adorable once.
(9:58am)
112/83 after morning meds
(9:36am)
I woke up late. 8am. I never sleep that late anymore. Especially since I go to bed around 9pm. I didn't walk the last two days. Will do that today. Wednesday night wore me out. Remember when we were young and adorable and could be out drinking until 2am and then go to work four hours later? Those days are looong behind me. Now it takes a full day to recover.
Will check my PB in a minute. I ate a fish sandwich yesterday. 900 mg of salt. But that's the most salt I've had all week. I think I'll live. Will go out for a walk after I get rid of the tea I just drank. I feel terrible.
MARCH 25, 2021
(10:43am)
123/83 after morning meds.
(9:18am)
I Krispy Kreme vicariously through you. That sounds so good right about now.
MARCH 24, 2021
(8:05am)
1991 me: Does he have a nice job?
2021 me: Does he have a DEFIB?
(7:44am)
139/93 pre morning meds.
I just took my medication. I'll check my BP again in a few hours. Otherwise I feel fine. I have a little headache but now I always do. It usually goes away after my first cup of tea.
Going back to bed. Resting up today. It's unicorn date night. Don't worry the mister is a doctor. They have a home DEFIB. 😂 No really they have one!
MARCH 23, 2021
(10:18am)
Because...
The rate of recovery is generally greatest in the weeks and months after a stroke. However, there is evidence that performance can improve even 12 to 18 months after a stroke.
It's been three weeks. My BP this morning after meds was good. I'll check it again around 3pm. I think some people don't recover as well as they could because they're not doing what the doctors tell them to do like walk 30 minutes a day, DASH diet, hydrate, 8 hours sleep... It's hard. My body is so tired sometimes I struggle to chew pieces of cantaloupe. That tired feeling lasts about two hours after I take my morning medication. Yesterday I couldn't get a LYFT back from the grocery store and had to carry about 25 pounds of groceries for a mile. I had to stop every 500 yards out of exhaustion. Normally that's no problem. Now it's work.
(10:03am)
Because...
Another study found that as many as 36% patients did not survive beyond the first month. Of the remaining, 60% of patients suffering from an ischemic stroke survived one year, but only 31% made it past the five-year mark.
(6:44am)
Me at CVS Pharmacy (Burbank) yesterday dropping off a prescription renewal for my stroke meds. CVS pharm: We can't fill this prescription. The computer is saying it's too soon for a renewal. ME: How can that be? I only have 7 days of medication left. CVS Pharm: What are the prescriptions for? ME: Um. It should say on the prescription paper I just handed you, yes? Two blood pressure medications. One cholesterol medication. One low dose Aspirin. CVS Pharm: The computer says it's too soon. I can’t renew them. Want me to put your prescriptions on hold? ME: I... guess? CVS Pharm: The earliest it will be ready is March 22nd. Come back then. ME: But that's today. Today is March 22nd. CVS Pharm: I can’t fill it. Sorry. (Then says to her coworkers) I'm going on break. (Then walks away) I then go to a different CVS pharmaceutical employee who discovers her coworker put my medication order under someone else’s name. CVS Pharm employee #1: Oh my mistake. I looked at the wrong last name. ME: So are you saying I can get this prescription filled today? CVS Pharm employee #2: (Nods her head in silence and frustration) Come back in 15 minutes. I'll have it ready for you.
Thank you competent CVS Pharmacy employee #2 for not giving my prescription to someone else. Holy shit. We’ve all had that coworker right? There are just some jobs you cannot be negligent at. The worst part is, is that useless first employee kept my prescription and wouldn’t give it back to me so I couldn’t even go to another pharmacy.
I got my meds though. We'll call this a win.
MARCH 22, 2021
(8:03pm)
Hey Dustin, there's a guy on lifestylounge.com posting one of your cock pics and pretending it's him. Want me to call him out?
(11:31am)
Me woman-splaining how I'm so not behaving like a princess!
(11:24am)
There are men who appreciate smart women, and men who do not. He is in the "do not" category. All you can do is laugh. Laugh or they win.
(7:30am)
I love all the buff fit people modeling post stroke Fitmi products. If those people had a stroke it's because they had marathon sex for 83,951 hours nonstop. Like Sting.
(7:17am)
What's cruel and unfair is the Krispy Kreme I pass on one of my destination walks!
Although I am more confident walking now. I was shook two weeks ago when I fell. I'm over it.
(7:11am)
According to The American Stroke Association, 1 out 4 stroke and heart attack survivors will have another one. I'm doing everything I can. I quit all red meat, no pork, I quit snacks and chips (I love Kettle chips!), I pretty much eat fruit, salads, and vegan meats... Please don't let me die this way.
(6:25am)
125/93 Pre morning meds. That bottom number again.
(5:33am)
Well thank goodness. Whatever it was that made me feel bad for the last 48 hours has passed.
Help me understand something. How is "boyfriend/girlfriend experience" deemed a term of prostitution, yet "sugar baby seeking sugar daddy" isn't? Asking for a friend.
Men blaming women for their relationship failures is still en vogue I see. Can't get an erection, it's her fault. Can't satisfy your girlfriend, it's her fault. After all, you're a man, you know how to please every woman on the face of the earth. I once very gentle girlie-like instructed a guy (mid sex) how to make me cum, and he lost his damn mind. He jumped out of bed and yelled, "I know how to make a woman cum!"
Um. Ok. I guess.
Normal people are the crazy ones.
Day 23 of high risk return stroke. If I can make it over the hump in the next 7 days without raising my blood pressure I'm out of immediate danger of having another stroke.
Medical ID bracelets for women have gotten a little blingy.
Cute though eh?
It is what it is. Do I tell people I date that I have a medical condition? No. But if I wear a medical ID bracelet I guess I'll have to if they ask. Which most won't I suspect being as how my condition isn't directly about them. This is LA after all. But one day...
MARCH 21, 2021
(7:41am)
I slept all day yesterday. What a waste. I might do the same today. I feel like how I felt last October in Minneapolis. I thought for sure I had Covid but tested negative. Yesterday I had chills, fever, and stomach cramps. Meds and a little food poisoning I suspect. Today I'm OK just tired. I'll check my BP in an hour so. Just took my morning meds. Give them time to dissolve. My brother wants me to wear a medical ID bracelet or necklace. This is my life now.
I don't patient well. I'm cat-like. When my time comes I'll crawl under the house and die. Who's house? Hmm. 😏
What are we doing here Los Angeles? Are we still at only 20% open? I've had job offers from Las Vegas and Minneapolis. Too hot. Too cold. LA is just right... but no jobs. And who would hire me now anyway?
120/88 Good enough.
MARCH 20, 2021
(3:42pm)
113/79 It's OK. The top number can't get below 100.
I think you're right. It was probably food poisoning. I took some Tylenol and feel much better. Drinking lots of water. Never getting that pre-made chicken from that Ralphs ever again. I was knocked out with chills for four hours. Just what I don't want to be doing on this gorgeous day. I feel better now. I'm spending the day on the beach Monday. Fuck this.
(10:26am)
127/85 👍🏻
(10:15am)
It was the medication. I took all my morning meds as I’ve been doing for the past three weeks and the stomach cramp instantly went away. Sorry Ms (not my doctor) but the four male internal medicine doctors were right all along. FFS.
(8:15am)
131/90 pre morning meds. I'll check it again in a few hours. Yesterday was stressful. I had stressful sleep as well.
I didn't get that job at UCLA and... it turns out Bob is a collector. I was engaged once to a collector, and then when I found my missing black cocktail dress and some boots I had thrown out in the trash in his bottom drawer, I broke off the engagement. When we were dating he told me I could have the bottom drawer but he forgot that's where he hid his stash. Weirded me out that a man I was sleeping with boosted a cocktail dress from my closet and old boots I had thrown out from the garbage. What's wrong with people?
Bob lifted my thick black framed glasses (that never leave the house because I need them mostly for reading) and cloth masks. WEIRD. And when I mentioned my glasses were missing, his reaction wasn't to say "I'll help you look for them when I get home" no, his reaction was to go out and buy a pair of ready-readers. Um? But what about MY glasses? I left.
Why can't I find a normal man to date? A normal boyfriend? No. Instead I meet weird men and bad sex, rather then bad men and weird sex. 😞 This is why I love hanging out with my friends. No bullshit. Aramis is the Magnum P.I. to my Higgins.
Woke up to some weird tummy pain. I hope it's not because (under medical advisement) I switched around the timing of medication. If it doesn't go away completely by this afternoon tomorrow I'll switch back. It's the only thing I've done differently since starting the meds three weeks ago. There are side effects. Or maybe I'm getting my period? It's been like three months since my last period. Three blissful months. Aside from the stroke, I mean. Three blissful months.
MARCH 19, 2019
(8:29am)
"In bed" has been replaced by "Everyone wants to fuck me!"
"Bow to my fuckability! My fuckitude! My fuckPHD!"
(I made myself laugh just now.)
"Lose ten pounds, don't eat salt, Dash diet, take your meds, sleep 8 hours a night, drink plenty of water. ... You know, you almost died."
Yes. I know. I was there. Not the death I want. But at least it involved a hot EMT guy.
I love salt and cheese the same way I loved smoking. I absolutely loved smoking. I loved it so much it took two respiratory infections and a fancy hospital stay for me to quit. I beat the hell out of my body. I think I might have issues? I want what every woman wants. I just want it more.
Ladies, when you stop eating salt, provided you are otherwise healthy, you will lose at least five pounds in the first week. I lost seven.
The woman (not my doctor) I saw yesterday disagreed with the instructions on my medication prescribed by the four male doctors (all internal medicine) and said one of the pills I'm currently taking in the morning should be taken at night. If you follow my blog then you know I've been complaining about exhaustion. Before the stroke I ran half marathons. I was on my feet constantly. Now post-stroke when I walk just 30 minutes a day, like the doctors told me to do, I barely make it. Barely. I told the (not my doctor) this yesterday and she looked at my current medication prescribed by the four male doctors who took care of me when I had my stroke and said, "Well this medication (Amlodopine) you should be taking at night, not in the morning. I advise you to start taking this at night." Starting today I'm taking it at night. But then do you understand why I'm going to try my friend's herbal medicines once my BP is steady? If doctors can't agree on medication who's to say any of them are right? Of course she reminded me, "You had a stroke. It's going to take time. Perhaps consider a personal trainer to help you get back on track." And that's what I'm doing. I'm currently searching for the right personal trainer. Someone with medical knowledge. Perferably someone who understands head trauma and how to help someone recover their strength and balance.
Which brings me to this...
I'm currently looking at LA Fitness trainers. In 1993 I worked for LA Fitness. I was all into the fit-fad rather than just being fit for health sake like everyone else in 1993. Appearance was everything to me. And the thing that disappoints me now is, just like back then, it seems the company wants to brand these trainers as fitness-friendly. Know what I'm saying? "Fitness trainer Jack likes speghetti. He has a female pitbull named Ribbons..." I mean. C'mon. I don't need to know that. I need to know if you've ever trained anyone recovering from a stroke or a heart attack. I'm tired of feeling exhausted all the time. Yes I know I had a stroke. I know I could have died... but I didn't.
MARCH 18, 2021
(8:12am)
"In bed" has been replaced with "Assuming they actually want to fuck you."
Ah the beauty of entitlement. Not everything is about you. Shocking, I know.
Everything said in sex forums today should end with ... "Assuming they actually want to fuck me."
Like my doctor for example. I assumed his office is used for doctor stuff. But I got a call yesterday from his office. My 6 week wait to see him will have to continue another 6 weeks.
When you assume it makes an ass out of what now?
Um. I had a stroke three weeks ago. I like, you know, need a checkup and refills on my meds.
"Oh sure. A nurse can write your prescription for you."
Awesome. I guess.
You can blame China all you want for Covid but this is America, whose citizens rely on WebMD because god knows your primary doctor won't see you, and vaccines are being created by (reads medical journal) producers of baby oil most commonly used for "massages" circa 1986.
Cue Magnum PI theme song!
I dunno Tom. I have a pretty decent eyebrow shimmy too!
The hyperlink isn't working (of course 🙄) so here.
https://youtube.com/shorts/1MZngO114NA
MARCH 17, 2021
(4:57pm)
Assuming they actually want to fuck you which they don't. Mind your own business.
MARCH 16, 2021
(12:14pm)
I left the house at 11:42am. Reached my destination at 12:01pm. 19 minutes. Don’t fight Google. Just. Don’t.
(12:06)
118/80
I had a brief scare past 24 hours. My BP was 150/97 which could be contributed to a number of things. Dehydration, stress, lack of certain vitamins, etc. Had that bottom number reached 100 I would be back in the hospital. A good friend generously gifted these books to me which I desperately needed.
You get released from the hospital after a stroke or heart attack and no one really explains to you what to do next. “Rest and take your meds.” Um. Ok. Then what?
I see my GP on Thursday in Beverly Hills and what are the chances he’s going to tell me everything these books told me to do except it took 6 weeks to book an appointment with my doctor. I just happen to have an appointment with him. My stroke was 2 1/2 weeks ago.
These books are great. Every single ingredient I’ve ever cooked with (minus EVOO, pepper, onions, garlic, and shallots) are gone. It’s a whole new kitchen now. Tonight I’m making panko baked crispy white fish, no chips. (Sigh)
Squirrels are my hero. How they get into these damn shelled nuts without a nutcracker is beyond me. I’ve cracked my knuckles more times than these nuts. I’m supposed to eat raw shelled nuts in case you were wondering. Raw shelled nuts especially pistachio nuts.
Restaurants are open now in Los Angeles county indoors at 25%. It’s a start. Maybe after a little time working with these DASH diet cookbooks I can find a mentor in this genre to master this line of cuisine and help people like me. I’m lucky to be alive. I really would have blown off my headache as a migraine and not a stroke. Hypertension/high blood pressure is the silent killer.
I’m getting a personal trainer this week. I need balance training, strength training, stretching, and up to 40 minutes walking until I get strong enough for more high endurance cardiovascular.
I’m vain. Fuck it. I’ll make a beautiful corpse.
As I regroup my old male playmates from 2012 live streams, it seems we all have fallen on our asses one way or another. Car accident. Stroke. Heart attack. Divorce. Bankruptcy. We’re like that old crew in the nursing home fantasizing one last score.
“I’m getting the pig!”
Whoever said beauty fades... I guess that’s the trade off with some people, we’ll look amazing forever and by “forever” I mean until we die at 55 years of age.
I’m off to do the impossible walk. Google maps said I can make this particular destination walk in 19 minutes. I love it when everyone argues with the computer. “No one can make that walk in 19 minutes!”
If it’s on the internet it must be true.
MARCH 13, 2021
(9:03am)
The only side effect from my stroke is that I drag my words a little but that will pass in time. My mouth doesn't work as fast as my brain right now which I'm sure some of you will appreciate. I have to check my blood pressure three times a day. Once in the morning before (or after) meds, again after my first meal, and again before (or after) my night meds. I have a small black carry bag that carries my portable BP monitor. I take meds 7am, and again 7pm. I like to be alone for at least an hour after taking my morning meds as the purpose of those meds is to widen my arteries and thin my blood. I need approx an hour to adjust. The night meds are to ensure Idon't stroke in my sleep. Normal blood pressure for adults is 120/80. When I was admitted into ER I was 270/170. I had one stroke, and was on my way to having a second one. As long as I stay in the 120-130 range for the top number, and anywhere in the 80's for the lower number, I'm OK. Anything higher and I have to monitor my BP until it goes back down. Usually just drinking two tall cups of water and eating some fruit helps it go back down.
I'm supposed to stay on these meds for the rest of my life, but a friends of mine who had a similar experience has found an alternative solution away from lifelong meds and has lived a healthy life for the past five years without prescription drugs. I'm going to try his method.
I get that people don't want to hire me because of all this. Bear in mind I'm only 2 weeks out of the ER. I'm lucky to be alive. No facial drooping. No long term destructive motor skills. I've since had sex, drank wine, AND eaten chicken with skin left on!
The wheels are still on the wagon y'all.
(6:49am)
134/87 before morning meds. Not bad. But like the doctors said, I'll start feeling better and that's when people stop taking their meds. No good. Within the first 30 days after a stroke the risk of getting another stroke is much higher than any other time.
So here we are two weeks following my stroke and I'm waking up most mornings feeling pretty good. Yesterday I had a pain in the back of my head all day, in a different place from where I had the stroke. I notice these things. I'm hyper sensitive now of course. I was a little worried, took some ibuprofen last night, today the pain is gone. I think it was the hotel pillows. Don't laugh. You'd be surprised how bad pillows affect the head.
This weekend I do hair bleach session #2. It usually takes three sessions to go platinum. I'm torn between continuing growing long waist length locks with curly ringlets at the ends, or feather cutting my hair.
And so I have not heard back from UCLA job #2 but with restaurants opening up on Monday, maybe now we'll all get back to work? And I can have my own kitchen once more?
I'll be in West Hills this weekend hanging out with Bob. He doesn't have internet because he doesn't have a computer or a decent working cell phone. So if you see me at Starbucks, come say hi! Don't know how many Asian women there are in West Hills with blonde hair so chances are it will be me.
MARCH 12, 2021
(8:08pm)
I have no idea what day it is. (The 12th apparently?)
Masturbated twice today and had screming O's both times because...
(7:27am)
My sex drive is back in FULL swing. It's all I can think about. I wonder if this is why I put it on ice. Perhaps it was getting out of control. I once got so horny I rubbed it out secluded behind a gas station in broad daylight. I see a hot group of men out in public now and the mind just goes where it wants to go, and it wants to keep going and going all day long. I'm also wondering if my hypertension (leading to my eventual stroke) is why my sex drive died. And now that my blood pressure is at it's healthiest its been in years, I got my sex drive back. Lets hope this IRS person I'm seeing at noon is a woman. An ugly woman. Because if he's a man and remotely hot, my hotel room is a short 13 minute walk away.
MARCH 11, 2021
(5:53pm)
This is why I like being with my friends. For this reason exactly. Why is it so hard to meet new people?!
(5:24pm)
And just like that, we're strangers again. Was that the plan?
(8:38am)
Tonight and tomorrow night I'm staying downtown. I have an IRS appointment tomorrow at noon. Don't worry they owe ME $1,209. And getting it out of the federal government, like everything else, has been like pulling teeth. I simple 2018 tax refund from a regular job, and for whatever reason they need me to jump through hoops to get it. And then it's a paper check but not for another 16 weeks following tomorrow. FFS. Meanwhile all the other tax years were done through auto deposit but for whatever reason 2018 has to be a paper check. It all makes sense to someone. What does the government do again? Legit question. I'm a firm believer 100% tax should go to the state you live in. But that's me. During the pandemic the state of CA has taken care of me, not the federal government.
Oh and...
Who wants to see how this ends? Don't worry it has a happy ending.
MARCH 10, 2021
(5:39pm)
Bro... 😏
(5:26pm)
Just when I got out, they pull me back in.😏
MARCH 9, 2021
(8:49am)
No one wants to be the girl who was masturbating and had a stroke. They kept asking me at the hospital, "What were you doing just before?" And I'm like... um, nothing.
😂
You know they didn't believe me. Which is why they took so much blood right away. They probably thought I was doing drugs. And truth be told, I rather tell them I was shooting up heroin before telling them I was masturbating.
(8:40am)
Didn't need Ibuprofen yesterday at all. Yay!
Damn those tricky beef people. I was at Ralphs fake meat section and saw this "Angus beef" beyond meat patty only it was real beef. Those tricky bastards. (sigh) I ate one. This morning (pre meds) my BP was 132/95. That bottom number shot up again. It's gotta stay as close to 80 as possible. That's why I take meds. When the ER is afraid you'll have a second stroke immediately following the first one... a little fear is a good thing. Just keep going 'til the wheels fall off. That's a Little House On The Prairie reference by the way. Wagon wheels. You midwesterners know that. I'm talking to them th'ar city folks.
And so, I took my morning meds and will check my BP again in two hours. If either number goes up to or over (170/100) I'm supposed to go back to the hospital. I think potential home owners renting rooms are afraid of my stroke. I post stuff about it on my IG foodie page, which every home owner asks for your IG page, and I think my stroke scares them.
I'm a good girl, it was tea and cereal this morning with bananas and almond milk. I'm a good girl. (Tell me I'm a good girl!!) I got a bottle of red wine which actually seems to help the bottom number. Uncorking that tonight. I just want to get drunk and dirty. I mean, in an hour or so I'll go do my 40 minute walk.
MARCH 8, 2021
(12:54pm)
So apparently today is "crazy shit on the internet" day. Awesome!
(10:20am)
When a woman with grey hair trips and falls down, women come running to help her.
When a woman with blonde and platinum hair trips and falls down, men come running to help her.
Funny little world we live in, isn't it?
Color matters. Sure does.
(8:12am)
Stroke, it's what's going around apparently. 😒
MARCH 6, 2021
(3:07pm)
I just ate El Polo Loco with the skin on. I’m living dangerous!
90 minute walk complete. I have absolutely nothing to do tonight since no one wants to meet or be friends. Guess I’ll go solo AGAIN tonight.
Maybe I can find someone to mortal combat with?
(10:33am)
Just now 💯
(9:09am)
And I'm sure if I went to another hospital they would probably frown on coffee. A different hospital might not have released me with a BP of 170/103 but the one I went to did. There was no reason to keep me in a hospital just to sleep and take meds. All the tests were done. They pumped gel into my body, squished me everywhere, no blood clots. I had the CT scan, the MRI, and they drew enough blood from me to make another adult human being.
Some people like being in a hospital. I am not one of them.
(8:52am)
I have narrow arteries and I absolutely love salt and cheese.
In 2005 I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. It was high like what I experienced just before my stroke 270/170. But in 2005 I was 36 years old. The doctors back then put me on the DASH diet and no meds. I was married at the time. My husband worked for Quest Diagnostics. I had a team of doctors monitoring my health.
I still eat what the hospital gave me last weekend. And they gave me coffee and (caffeinated) tea. They gave me BBQ sauce, and had tarter sauce and fried fish on their menu no doubt cooked in (whatever) low fat oil. I'm instructed to walk 20-40 minutes day. My blood pressure has gone down. I cannot be, will not be, bed ridden for 30 days. That's nuts!
(8:11am)
I have to tell all new potential employers that I have a pre-existing medical condition. My current prescriptions are for 30 days. I'm supposed to stay on my post stroke-meds for the rest of my life but a friend, who was in a similar situation, informed me of alternative supplements that may help me ween off all those prescriptions after three months or so. The first 30 days after a stroke is always touch-and-go because that's when a second stroke is most likely to happen, if it were to happen. Having a little fear is a good thing.
2020: I got this!
2021: Hold my beer
I'm going to live my life. Keep going until the wheels fall off. Isn't that what we always said? A job has a right to not hire me because I have stress-levels, blood pressure issues, meds, and if my BP reaches 170/105 I can't go to work. Until I get this hypertension under control I'll do what I have to to earn an income. I'm open to suggestions. Is there such a thing as a low-stress job market?
(7:36am)
Before my morning meds my BP was 147/92. (92! Yay!) Still need to get that bottom number down to 80. Very mild headache. Again, I'm going to wait on taking any Ibuprofen until after the morning meds gets into my system, and only when I can't take the headache anymore.
I was concerned because I had a few glasses of red wine last night, and even though the doctors said I could, I was worried it would raise my BP. Everything scares you after a stroke. I'm scared. Within 48 hours after being released from the hospital I fell, but I'm 90% certain it wasn't because of the stroke. Nonetheless, I fell. It's not the reason why that scares me, it's the fall that scares me. Lest we forget, I was having an orgasm from masturbating when the back of my head exploded in severe pain that sent me to the ER. Thank god I was masturbating. If I was with a partner while having a stroke I think it would put him therapy for quite a while.
The morning meds I take are Amlodipine, Lisinopril, and a low dose Aspirin. At night I take Atorvastatin (generic Lipitor).
Today I'm going to look for cookbooks specializing in meals good for heart attacks, strokes, and hypertension. Bananas are good for helping keep that bottom BP number down, and I like bananas, just not this much.
I had the craziest dream...
I was at a girlfriend's house. Tom Cruise and a buddy rolled up on motorcycles asking my girlfriend and I if we wanted to go for a bike ride. Get into the country. Go away for a few days. "You can ride with me." Tom Cruise said with that movie star smile. Then my girlfriend got off the phone and said she couldn't go. "But you still go" she says to me. Tom Cruise and a buddy out in the country, alone, just the three of us for a few days? Yes please. Then two more of Tom's buddies rolled up on motorcycles and said they'd be joining us. As per usual I woke up to pee before I could finish the dream. (sigh) I'm starting to get the feeling I masturbate too much. Last night I masturbated twice, and for the past two nights my "alone time" hasn't been as enjoyable as usual. Very light, barely there orgasms. Maybe I'm losing my touch?
MARCH 5, 2021
(12:18pm)
I was tested six days ago at the hospital for everything. Including Covid. That makes 4 times I've been tested for Covid. And 4 times I've tested negative. Just get tested. There's places in the valley who will test new people early in the day. Why am I telling adults to get tested? It's not like you don't know how.
(10:26am)
133/93 and that’s after I’ve eaten, showered, and had my morning meds. I still took ibuprofen just now but I’m only five nights out of the ER. Aside from my headache I feel pretty good. I’m going to have headaches for a while they said.
(7:29am)
I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. This is the first morning I've had since the stroke where my head doesn't throb. There's a little something, but I'm going to hold off on the Ibuprofen until after the morning meds digest. My PB was 136/98 just before I went to sleep and while that keeps me out of the hospital, I need to lower that bottom number. It's steady at 98-103. It needs to go down to 80 somehow.
My dad was a twice a day insulin injecting diabetic for the whole of his life. I hear the wisdom of my dad before he died when he told me how many times he was checking his blood-sugar levels when he had cancer, and he said it got to the point where he was checking his blood twelve times a day or more. Normally it's twice a day. That's me now with my blood pressure monitor. I only need to check my BP three times a day but I do it like ten times a day. Neurotic. My dad would say if I was just living for the approval of my BP monitor then what's the point? And he's right.
It's gorgeous outside. I'm spending the next two days by the beach. This is why I live here, the weather, the ocean, beach life. Come hang out. If you dare.
MARCH 4, 2021
(5:51am)
Last Monday, after falling, which I don't 100% contribute to the stroke, I've tripped over that curb before, I've decided I need to get a personal trainer, and while I'm at it a speech therapist too. My stroke was small, thank goodness, but I sometimes now experience knowing what I want to say, just not being able to say it. It's frustrating. And while my friends have been incredible to me, recovery from small strokes take 3-8 months. I have things to do.
Additionally I've had this nagging headache now going on 48 hours since the fall.
MARCH 3, 2022
(4:38pm)
I didn't think it would be that big of a deal since it's all my natural hair color but, it's going to take a few bleachings to get my hair platinum. So the hair is orange right now. It is what it is.
(7:40am)
Low dose aspirin and Advil. That's all I needed. I get in line to pay, no do-it-yourself scanners, and I got stuck behind some woman with a cart full of every hygiene product sold at CVS. Which begs the question, how was her hygiene yesterday?? Then Stinky would only scan four items at a time to see what coupons would come up after she paid the four items. This went on for five minutes. I never prayed for lighting to strike me dead so hard in my life.
I just want to scream. I had to get the low dose aspirin because my head is killing me this morning and I've already taken two advil along with my stroke meds.
I felt great Monday. No problem. Yesterday and this morning however I could prison shank everyone within six feet from me.
(3:49am)
Yesterday while walking across the street, on my way to the bank to get a safety deposit box, I mistook the height of the curb and tripped over it, crashing onto the sidewalk. Of course I landed on my right side, the side I stroked out on, of course. While I didn't land on my face or head, thank god, it did jostle my head about, resulting in a severe headache for the rest of the day.
This morning I attempt to lighten my hair with a few more platinum streaks in it. I had hoped when I grew my natural hair color out it would be more platinum than grey (silver) but no such luck. It's very hard getting the grey out of hair unless you color it darker and I refuse to color it darker. Grey hair is the reward for a life well hard lived. Apparently I'm the only one who appreciates that. I don't want to bleach my hair out either but it seems I am defeated by superficial forces. It is what it is. To live on your terms, you must first accept theirs.
And as I as attempt to reunite old friendships 8 years or so past, honestly I don't know what for. I mean, yes, I know for an apartment, but my poor stroked out brain just can't jump through the hoops it once could.
I didn't want to email him, my old playmate who manages apartment buildings, but no stone can be left un-turned. He was online all day. And on the 21st hour of the 24, I emailed him, and rather than read my email he logged offline. Funny isn't it how a new fling is seen with more desire than an old friendship that was built on nothing but.
Louis De Ponte Du Lac: You see that old woman? That will never happen to you. You will never grow old, and you will never die.
Claudia: And it means something else too, doesn't it? I shall never ever grow up.
Goodbye adult woman. Men don't want you. Daddies want their little girl in pigtails back.
March 2, 2021
(7:43am)
Yesterday the universe said, "You had a stroke, lived with very little side effect, now to balance out the universe today you get gum in your hair." (sigh) Yeah OK fine.
"Don't be mad" the Universe said. "So you have a little speech impediment now. You're American. You people have butchered the English language in the past thirty years beyond comprehension anyway. No one will tell the difference."
Two of the meds I take in the morning thin my blood to lower my blood pressure. They also open my arteries to help me exercise and not be bed ridden. Yesterday was day three on the meds. At noon I met a friend in Beverly Hills for lunch. He wanted to come to me but I insisted meeting him in his neighborhood. I wanted to take the meds out for a test drive. Everything was great. My energy was up. My spirits were up. And then, out of blue, my legs didn't want to work anymore. I wasn't tired. I wasn't out of breath. My legs just wouldn't walk anymore. Needless to say I got scared. I had the same problem in the shower washing my hair. My arms suddenly got tired shampooing my hair. I had to stop three times just to regain my energy. So I found a bench to sit on, called my friend to explain why I was going to be a few minutes late, leaned back on the bench to relaxed a few minutes, ended my phone call, went to get up and found I was stuck to a big wad of melted gum. My hair is almost halfway down my back. The gum landed mostly in my hair.
My blood suddenly being so thin will take a little adjustment. Besides, I was due for a new hot look anyway.
Today I have a meeting with my bank to get a safety deposit box. I have important accounts, etc., that I'm leaving for my nephew. I want them all in one place only he can access in the event of my death regardless when that happens, in two years or twenty years. I originally had this appointment last Friday but cancelled it because I had this screaming headache and a few hours later I was in the emergency room.
"Want to have sex?"
I have to check my blood pressure. Hang on a sec.
(That conversation totally happens now.)
Just for the heck of it lets check it now.
Currently my blood pressure is 140/98
Last night it was 129/90
I know I'm supposed to be resting. But what is it we say? Plenty of time to sleep when I'm...
MONDAY, MARCH 1, 2021
(6:00am)
Two days out of the hospital from 270/170 BP and almost having another stroke, the first stroke no idea I even had, and aside from my head momentarily throbbing in pain before taking my first dose of morning meds, and brief bouts of mid day exhaustion, I'm feeling pretty decent all things considered. I meditate regularly on how lucky I am the first (and hopefully only) stroke was small. No facial drooping, no change in my voice or speech. I'm a little forgetful and sometimes stammer but didn't I before? Vanity. You bet your ass. If you say you wouldn't be, you're a liar.
I'm thankful for my friends. Thankful. 2020 buried me alive. If I can survive 2020 AND a stroke, then I must be doing OK. I feel like I just broke up with a boyfriend. Relief. Wanting to get a haircut. Lose weight. Eat healthier. Are salons reopened yet? I haven't turned on a TV in 11 days. I have no idea what's going on in the world.
I am now on the DASH diet again. I was on this diet back in 2005 when I was diagnosed with high blood pressure. As a woman DASH is great for my weight and overall health. As a cook this is awful. No one "specializes" in high end DASH plates. There's only so many ways to make broccoli and carrots with no salt, sugar, or fat, and they're usually not good.
Chef Cyn and I still talk about our food truck (sigh) one day. Alas, I now cannot eat the food off our own damn truck.
I'm going to continue eating the foods I was served in the hospital. Hospitals now use actual professional chefs who are educated in healthy cuisine. Their grilled chicken sandwich was amazing. My problem is butter, cheese, and salt. Who's isn't? No one has ever said, "My problem is zero trans fatty acids." You would just get beat up.
So now I'm making a list of substitute this, and substitute that, because I had to throw away literally 90% of the groceries I got mere hours before calling 911.
On the plus side ladies, especially y'all 35 years old plus, when you cut salt alone out of your diet, within 48 hours you will notice a difference immediately on your waistline. One of my meds is also a diuretic which forces me to pee more, but since I've cut off salt I notice about half inch difference on my waistline. Your mileage may differ.
Maybe I'll get a haircut today. I'll miss my viking hair but I'm not in Minnesota any longer. Thank god my friends.
