OMG save the lemurs of Madagascar! Thanks to Morgan Freeman, I’ve never loved (March Of The) Penguins or lemurs as much as I do now. Any film about animals narrated by Morgan Freeman, suddenly becomes the most important issue in the world to me.
It rained here in Vegas for one day, last Tuesday, which also happened to be when I had my first interview for my second job. Next comes the corporate interview. I don’t mind working for corporate companies so long as I don’t have to pay union dues.
Taxes. Union dues. Insurance. I wish I could invent a lucrative hustle such as these.
The rainwater was nearly a foot deep directly outside my apartment. The kitty was nowhere to be found that day. I went out looking for him in the pouring rain when I got home from my interview. No kitty.
If I get this second job then both my jobs will be south of the Strip. South of Town Square heading into Henderson. Nowhere near Fremont Street Experience, which is where I happen to live. Figures.
The other morning I stepped out of the shower around 6:30am and heard one of the fire alarms in my building going off but no fire, naturally. It seems an early morning junkies of Las Vegas thought it amusing to pull the fire alarm yet again. Worry not, I was able to finish my shower, blow out my hair, put on makeup, moisturize, dress, and finish my half cup of tea before the fire truck “hurriedly” arrived.
I don’t understand fire alarms on the outside of a building but what do I know? I’m not an architect. Be that as it may, the firemen come at their leisure and I get an added alarm clock in the event I even think about going back to sleep. The fire alarm is always pulled early in the morning. Why bother pulling it during the day when people are awake?
And now the fire inspector is coming out next week to check our units. Genius. The fire alarm goes off because early morning zombies pull the fire alarms located on the side of the building. Isn’t it interesting all these high paying jobs people have to determine the obvious even a five year old could explain.
Anyway
A girl friend from Los Angeles was in town over the past weekend with her boyfriend. On the day we were all going to get together she cancelled. She and her boyfriend were fighting, she said. I’m rather certain we can all guess why.
I have two girl friends who want to break up with their men, for a long time now. The one girl friend who was just in town, and another girl friend from Orange County, CA., who wants to divorce her long time husband. Neither one will leave their men however. We’re all the same age. They see how long I’ve been single and it frightens them. Terrifies them.
If not for my long time platonic male friends, and Miso cat, I wouldn’t have any steady male companionship, not since 2012. The last time I had a dick in me other than oral was September, 2017, and it was horrible. It’s amazing to me what grown men consider good sex. It was just awful.
I have a male friend who absolutely hates his wife. But when he was unemployed, when he was flat broke, when he was sick, when he needed someone to take care of him, his wife did, many times over. And all she wants in return is to be able to say she’s married. I think he got the better end of that deal, eh?
I don’t judge my friends. We’re old. God knows no one else will be there if you get rid of your spouse. Sadly, it’s now easier to be killed by terrorists than be re-married over the age of 40. So if you and your partner can tolerate each other’s bullshit day after next, why leave? I couldn’t tolerate my husband anymore. I couldn’t stand being in the same room with him. That’s when it’s time to get out, before one of you commits homicide.
And now I’m at that age where getting laid means nothing to me. I’m excellent at giving myself orgasms. I want to actually like you. I want us to like each other.
Las Vegas isn’t one of those towns where you get to know people. Neither is Los Angeles. Then again maybe that’s why we live here. We say we live on the west coast for the weather, the beaches, and in Vegas for affordable living, but truly, I think we live here just to be lost. To be a net for the bigger better deal that will never come. We refuse to give up the dream. We’re dreamers.
I love reading online profiles where the women always describe their marriages and relationships as “We’re madly in love with each other”. I have only ever been madly in love once. He was my first (and only) love when I was 20 years old. Our relationship was doomed the moment we said hello. I loved him then. I love him still. I can’t say that about anyone else and I was married. No. Only him. I will love him until the day I die. And when people ask me why that is, I can only explain it this way, watch the movie Dirty Dancing. He was Patrick Swayze, and I was Jennifer Grey. He’s the one. He never stopped being exciting. He was Johnny Castle. He was Dallas Winston. He was Doc Holiday. My villain. My hero. My Romeo. My wound that will never heal. He broke my heart into a million pieces three months after we met. In 2007’ish I found him on Facebook. He was in a loveless marriage, I was separated from my a-hole husband, and we entertained the idea of having an affair. His wife learned of our flirtation and threatened to kidnap their 8 year old daughter and make certain he would never see her again. Naturally this ended he and I once and for all. Afterwards my husband and I reconciled until there was never a moment when I didn’t want to punch him the nose.
And alone I’ve been
All my nets in the water
Waiting for Motorcycle Boy. My poet. My philosopher. My muse. My bigger. My better.
Madly in love, you say? If you’re both over the age of 30, I don’t believe you. Your needs, desires, and regrets are far too complicated now to be satisfied by love. Madness, yes. Love, no. If you’re over the age of 30, you’ve been broken at least once. Now, you want the bigger better deal. You’re not a simpleton after all, are you?
Like Tina says, what’s love got to do with it? Absolutely nothing. Still, it would be nice to actually like you... for once.
Since January my steady companion has been this kitty. They say couples start looking like each other.
Do we?
I recently cut my hair again. I like my hair this length. I suppose that’s among one of the benefits being alone, I get to wear my hair any way I damn well please without a man nagging me to grow it out.
And he doesn’t seem to mind.
No comments:
Post a Comment