Yes.
"Is it just now coming out? It looks kind of sudden." The other woman observed.
Since cutting off my hair last December, to let my real hair color grow out, 1/3 of my hair is now natural grey/white. The ends remain old black dye. I explain to the women I simply don't feel like coloring my hair anymore. I've been coloring it since high school covering grey hair. I'm done.
The two women are looking at my face. They're looking for wrinkles. I'm Asian. I don't have any. It's confusing. Grey/white hair. No wrinkles. All three (of us) women are GenX era.
"I should stop coloring my hair." One woman said.
"At least you have hair." The other woman said.
"You have hair" I tell her.
"Feel my hair" she says.
I feel her head. She has but a thin veil of soft blonde hair.
"Why did you stop coloring it? Just sick of it?" She asks me.
Sick of it. No need to color it anymore. Zero fucks given.
For all the griping getting older, waking up to pee in the middle of the night (twice every night without fail), all over body pain in the mornings, lingering pain under my right knee, hearing shot, arthritis from my elbows to my fingers (both hands), BEHOLD, my menstrual cycle remains the one reliable full force, month after month, after month, after (Jesus Christ, really??) another month. Tired of that too. Really tired. Tampons. Overnight pads. We women lose so much getting older but that ONE THING seemingly just goes on and on - forever.
I'm told menopause is a blessing. I hope I live long enough to be blessed. If I die before menopause I'm going to be pissed.
"Yeah but your face looks young." She says.
I know.
"You don't have any wrinkles." She says.
I know.
"If it wasn't for your grey hair you'd look really young..."
I know. It's a curse.
I'm not young. I'm old.
I don't fear dying. And I'm probably obsessing on it too much these days, BUT when I die, I don't want to be "that woman who lives alone in (that) apartment who no one knew was dead until rent was late."
I never wanted to die that way.
Rewind...
I'm a news junkie. I love news. I never wanted to be a reporter, I just like knowing what's going on in the world. And what's going on is nothing good. Ever. Planes are crashing and disappearing...
In Rèunion, cats and dogs are (still) being used as shark bait. Live cats and dogs, grappled by up to 5 hooks at a time, squeezed and bled on the hooks, all while still alive, then thrown into the ocean (still alive) for shark bait.
If that doesn't rip your heart out...
Luckily for pet lovers in that region they have the Brigitte Bardot Foundation, GRAAL, The Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, The Royal Society, and Thirty Million Friends Foundation, pressuring the French Government to stop this practice once and for all. Imagine seeing half eaten dogs washed up on shore.
"Don't humanize animals. Don't humanize your pets."
Yes. I don't want cats and dogs used as shark bait. And I'm the a-hole. Right.
A woman in Florida recently proved you don't need cats and dogs to illegally trap sharks. Just stick your arm in the water. Splash around. You've seen JAWS, you know how this works. Reportedly, a small Nurse Shark, bit a woman on her arm while in the ocean and wouldn't let go. The woman was admitted into Boca Regional Hospital, with the shark still attached to her arm. Google it.
I'm an EMPTY THE TANKS supporter. Its disgusting when companies profit off trapping/imprisoning animals, torturing and starving animals to perform tricks for food, using these animals with no regard for their lives, not even when they die from one form of animal dysentery and/or starvation.
And still...
I'm the a-hole??
Ignorance is bliss. Perhaps? I'm jealous of those people. Kind of. No. I guess not really.
Did Pamela Anderson, contact Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, in regards to stopping Canadian seal hunting? --I love her. Isn't she from Canada? I'm willing to overlook that part.
"Maybe we should get 19 year old boyfriends..." She says.
Um. No.
My conversation with the two women steered in this direction.
I'm not (sexually) attracted to younger men. A certain type of younger woman, yes. Men, no. If there was another element involved like "he likes to watch me have sex with a young stud" or I'm getting paid, that's different. But 1:1 I've never been interested in younger men. Do I find some attractive? You bet. But that's where it ends.
Philosophy. Visuals. The written word.
That's more intriguing than younger men.
Good or bad, when something is stuck in my head, I don't connect with what's in front of me. Blindsided, you could say.
And lately, since reading about it, since seeing the photos, for the past 3 nights, in my head all I see before going to sleep are cats and dogs being hung up by fishing hooks, used as shark bait, all while still alive. Just suffering in excruciating pain until death finally relieves their suffering.
Humans. Some truly are disgusting filthy fucking useless animals.
I'm buying a whip.
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