ass GAP

Story time!

Who wants to hear a bedtime story?

Once upon a time in a land far, far, oh fuck it, so three years ago a met mister GAP. I already heard the rumors about his (then) girlfriend being a fat crazy psycho nut-basket, but whatever. I prefer experience over gossip.

When I communicated with them, I addressed both him and the batshit crazy girlfriend, now wife, or so I heard.

Mister GAP said, "let's have lunch."

All said on their joint email. I wasn't hiding.

So mister GAP and I had lunch. Just lunch. He paid his bill. I paid mine. We went our separate ways immediately after. Never saw each other again. About 40 minutes after our lunch meeting, his meaty mental-case girlfriend sent me 20 death threat text messages. Awesome!!

Not the first time some batshit crazy psycho bitch lost her shit over "her man" having lunch with a member of the opposite sex, won't be the last.

About a month later we were both at a "Plash" party were I stood no less than 6 inches away from mister GAP's (then) nutjob girlfriend, and the crazy bitch couldn't even look me in the eye.

She couldn't even look me in the eye.

How exactly did she plan to carry out her death threat? With a guide dog?

It's called conviction. If you're going to send me death threats, at least have the nerve to look me in the eye afterwards when we meet face to face. And we (will) meet face to face, I assure you.

I don't hide. Not from anyone.

At the time mister GAP and I had lunch, he had just gotten his girlfriend fake breasts.

"She's a heavy girl," mister GAP said. "She was horribly disproportional. Big everywhere but small tits. The doctor who performed the surgery said I pay for this, he'll pay for that, and my girl fucked him."

Whatever. None of my business. I couldn't care less. Hollywood wheeling and dealing. I get it. Been there. Done that.

I had zero interest in mister GAP, he had/has nothing I want. But I wanted to meet him and the hype.

Yes. Indeed. All hype. 120% hype.

Professional swingers. Funny.

Point to my story is, before (you) start calling people "shallow" let's not forget people have met you. You got your chick fake tits to make her seem more attractive for barter.

You got her fake tits to barter her off.

To barter her off in hopes to get more pussy.

And you have the nerve to call other people shallow?

Right!

January 7, 2015 mister GAP wrote me again still wanting to hook up.

Guess your chick's fake tits still ain't getting you laid, eh GAPPY?

Congratulations! Money well spent!