Dearly Beloved

I have this friend, I've known him since I was a kid. He is the angriest person I know. He prides himself on how mean he is. "I'm a rat bastard! And I don't care!" he's always laughing and singing.

But he has lots of friends. I guess everyone needs at least one rat bastard in their lives.

The Rat Bastard gave me this bottle of wine. It's a dark red wine called Dearly Beloved. Oh the irony. 

It's a good wine. I like how the label is painted directly on the bottle. I'm surprised the wine wasn't laced with poison. The Rat Bastard is crazy that way. He hates everyone.

I'm not kidding. He seriously hates everyone.

He almost died once. All our friends rushed to his aid including me. And when he got well he went right back insulting everyone. 

The Rat Bastard likes telling me he loves me because he knows how much hearing that from him creeps me out. 

But I heard the wine is good so I uncorked it. Fearless. If the Rat Bastard poisoned the wine, at least I die drinking vino.

Cheers to you, Rat Bastard 
Thanks for the wine