Sexual Geometric Ennui?

I didn't want to throw the flowers away but they were dead.

For a week every morning when I opened my eyes I saw the pink and red roses along with (some kind of beautiful elegant green flower with arced flowing pedals) wilt a little more. As the days past I kept fresh water in the vase, resting the flower bouquet in the sunlight, then some place cool, and tried keeping the flowers alive for long as I could.

I'm horrible with plants.

Out of sight out of mind, but I didn't want that night to end. I considered plucking a small number of flower pedals and drying them out, but then decided against it and threw the whole bouquet away.

They say people who care for plants are the most loving and nurturing of people due to how much work it takes keeping just one plant alive, let alone several, and dozens.

"Your thoughts betray you."

Yes, I know, Lord Vader. I've managed to create a romantic social profusion and thus found myself upon its apex. But I'm a salesman, I'm hoping to auction it off one day as a performance piece, or simply leave it by the curb and pretend I don't know how it got there.

I can't date escorts for the rest of my life. Wait, can I?

No, no I can't. I don't have enough money.

"A mind that is stretched by new experiences can never go back to its old dimensions."
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

" The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science."
--Albert Einstein

"I've been things, seen places."
-- Mae West

Sums it up.

Carl Jung said, "A man who has not passed through the inferno of his passions has never overcome them."

Maybe that's what happened, I passed through the inferno and now there's nothing left?

Maybe it's the caffeine. I do drink a lot of caffeine.

It's not like I sit under a table lamp turning it on and off to a mental metronome while chanting "tick tock, tick tock, tick tock", though really what's the difference between that and chanting "ooohhhmmmm, ooohhhmmmm". I don't chant. I meditate. Could never get into the chanting thing.   

I saw something once on the Discovery channel, a scientific theory that people are sexually attracted to others based on face and body geometry. And when people go against their usual geometric "norm" it's merely an affirmation of attraction to the original geometric shapes. Carl Jung wrote a book on the same theory, that all your chosen life surroundings are of similar geometric shapes.

The extreme opposite being those who suffer from dysmorphia.
 

I totally got off subject.


I think it's like cats. If you give a cat too many dietary options the cat becomes finicky and doesn't want to eat. But then I feel bad for the cat. Who wants to eat chicken kibbles for the rest of their lives?

I wonder if he's thought about me since, my escort date.

The company does a follow up, settle the financials, make sure you had a good time, and they give you a nice compliment supposedly by your date, etc. I just smiled. It reminded me of my friend's narration of his Brothel experience. He said it was very sterile, as in cleanliness, hygiene, lots of bathing, rubber gloves, condoms (of course), the whole body scrub down after each sexual act, only listening to this guy on the phone was more verbally phlegmatic than antiseptic. Nice guy though. 

The date itself, his companionship, was amazing! It's a good thing I'm not wealthy or I would never vanilla date again.

I probably shouldn't admit that out loud.

It's just a phase.



Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.



I think I'm sexually attracted to quadrilaterals, with complex internal trapezium compositions.



It would explain the glasses.

I like guys who wear glasses.