Girl Meets Boy

For 24 hours leading up to my Mission Black Tie date, friends had text quotes from American Gigolo, Risky Business, Angel, etc.. just to be funny. The word "inappropriate" was jokingly tossed around quite a bit. 

During my pre-date interview the rules were established, sign, sealed, and delivered. There was to be nothing inappropriate or the date would end.

And while friends all said they understood this was about the adventure, doing something different, the price of convenience, and getting something I desperately needed -- more than all that I was really looking forward to the propriety and simple pleasantness of the date. 

Every step I took leading up to my MBT date had a bit of ceremony (etiquette) to it unlike any other date previous. I took every measure from head to toe best I could to look ceremoniously becoming for my date, more importantly for this specific type of date.    

As teenagers, there were courtesies my dates and I performed before going out. Boy goes to girl's house, boy has flowers for the girl, boy meets girl's family, boy takes girl to his house, girl meets boy's family... two hours of ceremony all before we could go to the movies. It was a matter of respectability. To go out with a boy even just to play tennis and not know each others parents was considered "taboo". It is, in part, why all of my friends know my dad and brothers. Well that, and most of us grew up together just a house (or so many) away. 

At some point, I'm not entirely sure when, I got tired of the propriety. I just want to go to the damn movies with this boy! Why does it have to be so hard?! 

Looking back on it now, I stopped appreciating what a father goes through raising a daughter. And out of sheer frustration dad at some point made the decision; I did best I could it's up to her now.  

Since then, I didn't always make the best choices but I learned from them and/or became something more from them.

I wanted a night of etiquette, genteel, ceremony with an edge. Sounds silly knowing the paperwork it took to obtain this date but it wasn't about sex. Is it ever? If I just wanted to get off I can quite literally do that myself in a matter of minutes, I've had years of practice!

Getting ready for the Mission Black Tie date was utterly nerve wracking. Many times I had to sit down and catch my breath while getting ready. I worried I might actually faint at the restaurant we were meeting at. 

I seriously worried!     

I considered having a cocktail at home while getting ready, calm the nerves, but decided against it. I joked to myself; maybe he'll cancel. But they don't do that with these types of dates. Not last minute.   

Even the walk to the restaurant was unlike anything I've experienced. I had the limo pick-up option but that would have been too much. Too cotton candy. I greatly welcomed the crisp cold night, it calmed my nerves a little. But a million things flew through my head as I walked. I hope he likes my shoes. I got them, wearing them just for him. I really, really hope he likes my shoes! I changed my nail polish three times I hope it matches my dress ok. ...  

It's nutty I know. They're just shoes. It's just nail polish. But not tonight. There was no "just" in anything I did tonight. It was all done with meticulous precision. I was on a mission. And the funny thing with missions is, you can fail or they wouldn't be called a mission, they would be called something else; peanut butter.

When I reached the restaurant I checked my cell phone, I was 10 minutes late.

I took three deep breaths, holding the last breath in, I opened the door to the restaurant and exhaled. 

My date was standing by the bar. Handsome. And just as dashing in person. It's mostly why I picked him, he has a dashing look to him. That, and he listed himself an avid reader. I considered if nothing else we can talk books for the next four hours and have a nice dinner.

He smiled at me. I smiled back. He came over to greet me. It was like we were passionate caring lovers from years gone by, removed and once again reunited. He didn't embrace me but held on to my shoulders firmly and gently kissed both cheeks like we already know each other. As if there was an already existing affection.There was a jovial tone with which he spoke in.

Honestly I was expecting a handshake.

"You look absolutely stunning." he whispered in my ear, and smiled, warm and genuine.

Loved his smile.

My hands were numb and ice cold. Probably best we didn't shake hands. I have no idea why I was so nervous.   
  
My date had flowers and for some reason I giggled. It was a nervous giggle. I mentally told myself; stop giggling you sound like a moron! 

But what struck me odd was during the first 20 minutes of getting better acquainted he never once said, "Nice to meet you." Not that that's important but, conversing with him was like we already knew each other. Maybe this is common practice for men in his profession?

Sitting in the lounge having a cocktail with my date, thankfully my hands warmed and I was less nervous. He was very, very kind, constantly smiling an amazing smile, which put me towards at ease.

I was so curious about him. How did he get here, with me, this way. And I'm sure women ask him all the time how he chose to be an escort, and for that specific reason I made up a list of other things to ask him, to talk with him about, all of which I had completely forgotten. It's no good trying to pre-plan nights like this one. There's no script.   

"Do your friends know where you are tonight?" He very pleasantly asked. 
"Yes" I said, "they're all sitting right over there." I teased nodding at a table of strangers. 

He didn't even look. He just laughed as warm and genuine as his smile.

"I did tell a few people." I embarrassingly admitted.

I told everyone!

"Funny you should say that," he said. "My friends are all sitting behind us." He teased back, throwing a thumb over his shoulder. Or so I assumed he was teasing for all I know they really were sitting behind us! Security, in case the little Asian girl went out of control and tried to ninja rape the 6.0 tall quarterback looking guy!

"Truthfully I don't care if people know where I am, who I'm with. I do what I want. Besides, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." I said.

Yes I know, big dork, I quoted Dr. Seuss, but I love that quote! 

Our conversation did loosen up a little. I told him some things. He shared some things with me. Nothing inappropriate. After all, neither one of us could forget the nature of our date.

And as if Fate was having a little bit of fun with us, while being escorted to our table from the lounge, my date and I past two women mid-conversation, "I've never had two men at the same time." one woman said.

"Really??" Her friend sounded shocked.

And I'm like, "Girl, you haven't had an Oreo Cookie until you tried double stuffed!"
And the girlfriend was like, "Girl!!"
And I'm like, "Girl!!"
And then we hi-fived each other.  

Ok no we didn't, but I thought it!

Up until this point in the evening my date and I didn't broach the subject of sex. It was my understanding this subject wasn't allowed, or it was frowned upon, or something. Either way I didn't want to be anything less than respectful of the rules, and of him.

However, when my date and I got settled at our table he (rather comfortably) asked me, "So have you ever been with two men at the same time?"

"No" I quickly lied.

My date just smiled that warm friendly, affectionate smile. He so didn't believe me.

My thinking was, what's the point of having an adventure if you're just going to be the same person you've been for the past 10 years? Is this the same guy who hangs out at the local sports bar with his buddies on Sunday afternoons? No of course not. We're both playing parts. That's the fun of it, we're both "role playing", kind of.     

Ever been to the Rio in Las Vegas, home of the Chippendales? They only allow women into the shows, but you don't even have to go into the venue to hear the pure utter mayhem of women screaming at the shows. Whatever capacity the venue is, was reached the night I saw them. It was a wall to wall clusterf*ck echo chamber of horny women screaming at the top of their lungs for these guys! Intense! And you either have to dive into the screams of chaos and join them, or get trampled and smothered out. My throat was hoarse the next day! That exact same energy is what I was feeling in the company of my date. This is what I came here for, and sure a lot of it was fantasy I made up in my own mind but so what? 

During dinner I told my date about the one and only time I've ever truly fallen into the unknown depths of passionate love. I was 20 years old.

"The poison was in the wound, you see. And the wound wouldn't heal."
--Professor Humbert Humbert, Lolita

I went as far as admitting to being with two men at one time. My date looked at me knowingly but he seemed genuinely appreciative for not trying to fool him.

I told him about my lifestyle, my opinions about sex and love, and my philosophies that are deeply rooted which gives me life and stability.  

I didn't mean to tell him any of this. It just felt so good to. Once I started talking I couldn't stop.

And he was an excellent listener.   

Some people buy Bentleys, and jewelry from Tiffany, and 70 inch television screens, and big houses, and it doesn't matter if other people like or understand why you made these material purchases, it's not for them, it's for you. I'm a Buddhist and I understand that. My date wasn't material. He was someone I needed for me. Other people compare his company to false elixir, but

Oh well.   

There was never a flicker of judgment in my date's face or in his voice. He didn't attempt to council me or offer suggestions. He just listened and talked with me, a complete gentleman more attentive than I could have hoped for. 

On the same property as the restaurant is a bar lounge with a beautiful view. After dinner we huddled under a heat lamp with some other couples, everyone was happy kind and sweet, all commenting on my beautiful flowers. 

My date put his arm around me as we briefly chat with a few other couples. My hands got cold and numb again. I wondered what the couples thought about my date and I, if we seemed like a real couple or if something seemed a little off. I wonder what their reactions would have been if I told them he was paid to keep me company.        

At one point his hand brushed against mine. I could tell he wanted to hold hands but I was hesitant. After a few more brushed I put my hand in his. Strange, I was still waiting for him to say, "Nice to meet you." This would have been the perfect time! But he never said it.

I was concerned with how to end the date. What was appropriate? A handshake? A kiss on the cheek? Do we just say "Thank you" with a polite genteel nod and go our separate ways?

I kept watch of the time. I kept looking in my purse, lighting my cell phone to see the time.

"Do you have to be home at a certain hour?" He joked lightly.
"Just seeing what time it is." I said.
"You don't need to do that." He said. "Not because of me."
"I'm sorry. This is my first time. I'm not sure how this works." I felt very light headed again, and my hands were numb.

Great; I thought. I'm going to have a heart attack.

"Are you having fun?" he politely asked.
"Very, very much so. Thank you." And I meant it sincerely.

With his free hand he reached over and brushed my hair back over my ears. If this were a vanilla date that would mean we're having sex. But on this date I didn't think it meant anything. 

"Want to go for a walk?" I asked him.

We spent the last half hour together walking, hand in hand. He told me a little more about him.

I ended the date and walked him back to the restaurant. There was a very awkward moment of silence. On any other date we would have kissed, which would have dictated whether or not we wanted to see each other again, then he would have gotten into his car and drove away.

It seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn't.
There were things I wanted to say, but didn't.
And after a few minutes of niceties were swapped, and a few awkward hand and body brushes, we both knew it was time to call it a night.

"Are you parked in the lot?" He asked.
"I walked. I'm not far. But I'm taking a cab back."

He paused for a minute. He wanted to say something I could tell, but he didn't.

"I'll wait with you until it comes." He finally said, nodding his head.

"No that's ok," I assured. "I had a wonderful, amazing time. More than I could have asked for. I mean it. Thank you. Please don't wait."

"I can't leave you here." He said.

"No, I promise I'll be fine." I said again.

"No. I mean I'm not allowed to just leave you here." He said.

Oh. Right.

I called a cab. While I was talking to the cab company operator my date looked at me, flashing that amazing smile.

When I hung up the phone. My date and were face to face again, in the parking lot, in the florescent gleem of the valet booth, him looking down at me, me looking up at him, in that awkward silence.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked.



I could write 100 pages about my date. I'm still living every nuance, every minute, looking at my flowers now in a vase of water. But when my cab arrived, when it was time to go our separate ways, I said to my date, "I don't know what the next few months will bring but if I'm able to, and the moon and stars align, can I request to see you again?"

And in my date's gentlemanly dashing way, he replied it would be his pleasure.

Maybe I'll see him again. Maybe I won't.

But that's how adventures go!

 
The following is dedicated to my friends in Vegas.

Commodore Norrington: "You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of."

Jack Sparrow: "But you have heard of me."

-- Pirates of the Caribbean