Amateur bush league

I got no time for ya’ll beginners.

Look Mr Turner, just because I’m against someone, doesn’t mean I’m for someone else. If I were to list everyone I’m against I’d be here all day.

I’m a registered Republican but I can’t stand Ted Nugent the Republican. Ted Nugent the musician, yes. The Republican, no. For starters Ted hunts with the same enthusiasm I have for a shoe sale. My dad used to hunt, and dad was a Democrat. Hunting isn’t a Republican thing. Many Democrats hunt. Many Democrats own guns. It’s painfully sad how many registered American voters think only Republicans own guns and hunt. Get out of your delusional bubble every once in a while, people.

Every time someone insults Republicans for hunting and owning guns, it screams to the world how amateur they are.

Anyway

I’m still looking for a new apartment. Sad. In my defense the goal is to dump up. Not down. 

Hey guess what?

Sex isn’t taboo anymore. Social/media turned sex into commentary, satire, and commercialism. They made it silly and ridiculous. Newsflash: sex has always been silly and ridiculous but it was our private joke. What made it once exciting and hot was it’s rarity and discretion. You had to be in the know. You had to know a guy.

NO ONE is discreet anymore.

How low-brow.

I hate it.

Also

Any clown with a cell phone is a boudoir photographer. 

These days...

Psst. Hey mister, know a girl who likes two dicks in her vag at one ti...

And before you can even finish the sentence every female in the country over the age of 14 are screaming at ear-splitting volume trying to out whore each other on Twitter. 

“I LOVE 5 dicks in my butthole!” 

“I LOVE 7 dicks in my butthole!”

Wow 

Classy

15 years old.

Your parents must be proud. 

Just quit school now and be whores.

Video killed the radio star.

The internet killed everything else like innocence. 

My best playmates were upscale and 100% discreet. You’d never know it in a million years they liked hot nasty sex. They were clean-cut, educated, sophisticated, everything finer in life. You had to be in the know. 

Women who wear cheap slutty low cut dresses and too much eye makeup in public, and advertise to the world on social media how they love to gag on dick, can just get their whore asses the fuck away from me. 

Make a name for yourself by being the best at what you do, NOT by trying to convince the world what hood rats you are.

Unlike most people, I went crazy, did my thing young in life. Sowed my wild oats until I was in my 30’s, and again briefly in my 40’s. Meanwhile most people are just now getting their freak on. It’s painfully obvious and horribly embarrassing.

I still hear men in their 40’s who fantasize having their first FMF three-way. 

Seriously?

In their 40’s? And still never had a FMF?

Huh

I was 20 years old when I had my first FMF three-way. What’s your problem?

When you get to my age, you’ve done everything you’ve wanted to do. What makes it exciting for me now is to do things with people I actually like. I don’t have to love you. I just have to like you. I MUCH RATHER do vanilla things with people I genuinely like, than have an orgy with people I don’t even want to be in a checkout line with. 

I love my vanilla friends. Regardless of religion and politics, they’re hard working amazing human beings. I got their backs, always.

“I’m throwing a GB party. Want to be a guest star?”

No bitch. 

You have to be in the know. 

Never email me stupid shit like this.

The other morning, and by morning I mean afternoon, I woke up from the worst sex dream ever. I couldn’t cum. I dreamt I was in like six different sex scenarios and I couldn’t cum. In two of the scenarios I was even masturbating, feverishly, and I still couldn’t cum. It was a nightmare! I can get myself off in less than two minutes every time, but not in this dream. I woke up super horny. Luckily I was still able to take care of business in about 30 seconds flat. Whew!! My regular sex life is still intact. 👍🏻