"She's so mean!!!"

Hi.

I'm a numbers person. Algorithms. Rudimentary mathematical equations. Geometry. Algebra. Calculus. Fuck trigonometry. No one understands trig. But I do this for fun. So (kinda) Asian. My filing skills rival any 10GB file share, but towards the end things get a little dodgy. Be that as it may, like with sex I have to be in the mood. If I'm not in the mood I'll use a calculator. It's my binary vibrator. Gets the job done fast. Move on. Go about my day. 

Math. Sex. Art. Three things I like doing but could never do for a living or it would ruin the sport. As the years go on, and on, and fucking on, for what seems like FOREVER these things become more hunt, than sport. 

Take this moron couple who just wrote me assuming I would be interested in them because they're white and claim to be "sophisticated" and "wealthy" and are looking for a "submissive unicorn"...

Once upon a time I would have written them a polite no, most likely before the age of 21, because I was raised to be polite, but since their "sophisticated" upbringing didn't raise them to be polite, now I'm just going to be an asshole.

I read articles where news reporters suggest when humans have either run out of wild animals to kill, or tire from killing animals, will pursue humans. These "sophisticated" people who seek "submissive unicorns"  are my lab rats. And that's exactly how I view them, lab rats. Filthy human lab rats. Have to stress the word "human". If they were actual animals, I'd care about them. So already suggestions of human-hunting are in part, true, on both ends. More than that, my human lab rats and their inclination to find submissive women, are increasingly on the rise. Human algorithms. The weak attempting to find inner strength. Etc. etc. Read the reports.

"Hi. We're white, rich, sophisticated, looking for a submissive unicorn..."

Who introduces themselves that way? 

All I heard was, "Hi. We're collectively 12 years old."

I'm going to design an auto-reply...

"Hello. You are receiving this auto reply to monitor if you are intelligent and/or old enough to receive a response from the person you just emailed... Please accurately connect items from the left column to items in the right column... 1) Geometry. 2) Pyramid. 3) chemical abbreviation for Sodium Dodecyl Sulfate. 4) choo choo train."