TOMORROW!!
I’m thrilled to see Jake Gyllenhaal and Rene Russo working together again since NIGHTCRAWLER.
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Wednesday, January 30, 2019
🌹🍾 💰 💵 💴 💋
Someone scolded my neighbor for feeding this homeless guy who’s been camped out at our building for about two weeks now.
“Don’t feed them they’ll never leave!”
My friends and I have this talk all the time. We know we’re not really helping homeless people with leftover pizza, and in Vegas who knows how they became homeless to begin with, plus every other homeless person on my street is super aggressive. Are we simply enablers? It gets cold, we give them blankets. They get hungry, we give them food. It’s not like homeless people are stray cats we can take in. Humans are far more expensive than stray cats.
I always wonder where the families are? Friends? Back in Santa Monica, CA, one night while at work, a regular customer, white, found out his sister, also white, who apparently had been homeless for many years, had just died. And my coworkers, Hispanic, said under their breaths, “If he knew she was homeless all this time why didn’t he help her?”
Wasn’t Madonna’s brother homeless also? How could a sibling of Madonna’s be homeless? Did he ask her for help and she told him to fuck off?
I would never allow a dear friend or family member to go hungry or be homeless. That’s just unacceptable to me. That said, I have a friend who’s family is eating him out of house and home. His brother is a lifelong drug user, in and out of jail or rehab my friend pays for, his parents are retired and broke, and his dad has cancer. And for the past (at least) seven years my friend has been supporting all of them rather than getting a wife, starting his own much wanted family, and saving for retirement. Taking care of your own, is one thing. Taking care of strange homeless people every day camped outside your home, that’s something else.
The way homeless people in my neighborhood get your attention is by asking you for the time. Because they have some place to be? But you check your cell phone anyway and tell the homeless person the time, to which they always sarcastically reply, “Yeah, nice cell phone. How much that cost you?” To make you feel bad for having a cell phone while they have a garbage bag of who knows what?
FYI, I’ve seen homeless people with cell phones.
Every time someone scolds, “Go feed a homeless person!” You know they’re scolding you to make themselves feel good, like recycling. Ever watch Penn and Teller’s BULLSHIT. Here’s a clip about recycling which any thoughtful person may have already figured out.
And another thing!
He’s just a sore what?
Loser
A sore what?
Loser!
A sore what??
LOSER
Actually I don’t think he’s sore so that just makes him a plain ol’ what?
LOSER!!!
He’s also put on some major weight which makes him a what?
FAT LOSER!!!!!
I don’t like picking on people’s weight. How toxic. No thanks. It’s just he’s constantly calling women fat, another lardass man calling women fat, so...
He’s a what?
FAT LOSER!!!!!
It’s fantastic the things I normalize. It’s a gift really.
Apparently something called the Super Bowl is this weekend. Yay Vegas!!! Money money money!!! I have no clue who’s playing in the Super Bowl. Don’t care.
Money money money!!!
Hey ladies!!! And gentlemen!!! Sorry didn’t mean to be sexist! Be sure to get your bouquets. 💐 💐
Good mor... no fuck it... too late
It’s still January.
It’s still only January.
“I need to know you’ll be available and horny for my dick in March.”
😂
Also
Showing up on time is not a reason to be praised. In social settings it’s common courtesy. In the work place it’s expected. The only other reasonable option is to not show up at all. On time or not at all. Those are your choices.
There’s nothing quite like angry bitter adults with tons of emotional baggage online trying to get laid.
“I show up on time.”
Neat. What else?
I’ve been divorced for five years. I’m just now ready to date. Or should I say I’m available. I could be dead tomorrow. I could have had a stroke seven years ago and not know it, then stroke out again today, and die. It’s really just that easy for people my age, thank you for educating everyone ‘Grace and Frankie’ season 3, episode 12.
While my mind is still cold hard steel, it’s my body that feels very different. Very, very different. I feel old. You’re as old as you feel? Well then I must have died two years ago.
Hot flashes, cold sweats, constant back and joint pain, random blurred vision, constant fatigue, Weight gain, weight loss, morning gas, night gas, and abdominal pain. Did I mention hot flashes? I literally feel like I’m on fire. No wonder so many marriages end when she’s right around 48 years old. Doesn’t surprise me for a minute. I have about three good hours a day. Three if I’m lucky.
I like watching ‘Grace And Frankie’ on Netflix. And while they are in their 60’s and 70’s, and I’m 50, it’s interesting seeing them portrayed as they are.
January 26, Alan Canter, of Canter’s deli in West Hollywood, CA, died. And while to the best of my knowledge the deli will remain open, Canter’s death resonates with me. I can’t count how many late night meals my friends and I have had at that deli during the 25 years I lived in LA. People like Beth and Paul. We all met back in 1993, a big group of us, and as our lives shifted from one thing to another, we still met at Canter’s.
I have a long time friend I met back in 1991, his current wife hates women, but she especially hates me. She doesn’t understand why anyone “hangs on” to friends from the past. In other words, she doesn’t understand friends. Or maybe she does understand friends, and just hates the fact I know her husband in an intimate way she never will. He and I first became friends during a time when he and I were young. Barely adults. A time no one who comes after will have with us ever again. I suppose that’s cause for jealousy if what he had is more important than what he has or will have. Either way, one’s past is an unremovable part of one’s life. Even with amnesia it’s still there. You either accept someone’s past or you do not. My friend is a very tolerant man, but I guess you have to be at our age. Our options of companionship aren’t as plentiful as they once were.
At 50, we swap options for knowledge.
Edgy old angry bitter knowledge.
Yup
Sunday, January 27, 2019
Un-day
Today ended the porn convention which for my own selfish reasons I have to say, thank god. Last night I was in the mood to play and have some fun, but the entire town it seems turned into competitive porn stars, like it was a sport, competitive porn sex, and suddenly everyone’s must-have sex was nothing short of a three ring circus bearing the mentality of “anything porn can do I can smash better”. And while this old body still works fine, it doesn’t bounce back from hardcore smashing like it did when I was 25.
It’s like when the Consumer Electronic Show comes to Vegas, suddenly everyone’s more expert than the experts. This sadly happens with every convention.
“Oh sure he’s ok in his movies but can he do this!”
Yes. I’m pretty sure he can. Only he gets paid to. Whereas you on the other hand are paying money to pretend to be him. To pretend to be better than him. Kudos to everyone in Vegas who made money off you this weekend.
No thanks.
Hard pass.
And now that the porn caravan has finally left town, people are coming back to their weekday senses. But last night was last night. And today is today.
Fremont Street Experience is just a few blocks from my apartment. Often times I can hear bands play from my front stoop. FYI, The Plaza Hotel Casino, is my favorite casino on
FSE. Random information. No particular reason. On occasion friends and I stay local, hang out on FSE and listen to 80’s bands playing the stages and dance like this for two and a half hours https://youtu.be/WSLMN6g_Od4
By the third hour my feet were killing me. This is why hookup apps rule the world.
As we left Fremont Street, we past a woman knocked out cold on the sidewalk. She was heavyset, disheveled, older, not wearing much clothing for 2am January, and one of her shoes had been knocked off. It was lying beside her bare foot. There were a few young men kindly trying to help her, trying to wake her up, get her talking, but she was out cold flat. My girlfriend called 911, and I waved down an ambulance that just happened to park across the street. Soon after calling 911 the police arrived, as did town sheriffs, and the ambulance made a u-turn towards us from across the street. And all while we were trying to help this poor woman, onlooker after onlooker past by us and snapped photos of the woman who quite possibly could have been dead. Why would you want a picture of that?
We left.
It was taco time.
We grabbed Taco Bell and headed back to my apartment.
“What’s that arrangement over there?” My merry friend asked.
Well
You see
At the beginning of the day I had something else in mind as to how I was going to spend my night and so I set up that part of my apartment forZzzzzzzzzzzzz....
Whatever
We ended the night with tacos and Tinder until we both passed out. Cell phones still in hands. I do that a lot lately, pass out with my cell phone still in my hand.
Could be worse I guess.
We’re better off than that poor woman on the sidewalk, aren’t we? At least we went home.
Saturday, January 26, 2019
In the mood to
Have some real Saturday night Vegas fun!
Alas, no one’s around.
Alas, no one’s around.
Keeping it local. Is that a zit? 50 years old and still getting acne. Fantastic.
Go Pleasure Chest!
I hope they win. I get all my whips from Pleasure Chest.
Good night all.
Good morning ☀️
No?
Good 2:22pm. Better?
What did I miss?
This ice cream truck driving by my apartment is determined to sell something. Determined, I say!! He’s driven up and down my street about 12 times just now.
Only 65 degrees out. He don’t care!
“I will sell a bomb pop warhead! I will sell a bomb pop warhead, god damnit!”
Actually that sounds pretty good right now. Do I have to put pants on?
Friday, January 25, 2019
The year was 1992
I was working for a certain record store on Sunset Blvd, before becoming the door girl of a certain West Hollywood rock venue...
And we were listening to this album on loop.
And can I just say the artwork the store artists made for this release was EPIC!
YOU’RE
Oh Netflix thank you for the email you know me so well.
Thursday, January 24, 2019
Hooker penguins
Luke Evans is gay? Of course he is. He’s hot. My gaydar remains on point.
LOOP, girl.
“They just want money.”
No shit. How about that? I’m guessing a website where women are bent over showing the entire internet her SEE U NEXT TUEDAY, and lives in Las Vegas, aren’t looking for love on any convention weekend.
“Looking for love in all the wrong places.” 🎶 Everybody sing!
No money, no honey. You know the rules.
Dear Orson Wells spirit ghost, what was your deal with A Touch Of Evil? That is without question the loudest movie I’ve ever seen.
I tried watching ‘The Ballad Of Buster Scruggs’ but they lost me after the first gunfight in the street. If the whole movie was about that one cowboy in white, you know who I’m talking about, I’d have kept watching it. Now that’s a movie. Chop-chop Netflix. Get on it.
And another thing!
In basic language the term you’re looking for is moving pictures. In art, they’re called images. In film they’re called moving pictures. Images from moving pictures are called stills. I say this to you because when you call images “content” I know we’re not talking about the same thing.
(Sigh) 🙄
No. For so many reasons.
I get it. You’re a single guy just trying to get laid. But I too am single and so here’s a piece of advise directly from single me to single you — Single men better off hitting up couples. Why? Because they’re the ones who have that dynamic in their marriage. Kink. Boredom. Whatever. It’s not anything I understand but I long ago quit trying. I’m a conservative. The marriage I want, at my age, with men my own age who are also single, doesn’t exist anymore. Which is why I’m still single.
At 50 years of age, I won’t find old fashion love again for another ten to fifteen years at least. Not until we’re about ten years from our deathbeds and neither one of us wants to die alone. Then I’ll find what I’m looking for in a spouse and/or partner.
Until then young man, you are definitely not what I’m looking for. Which I why I listed my age preference 49 and up. If you weren’t alive during the Ford administration we’re not going to have much to talk about and I’ve always been one of those girls you have to get into my head before my pants. Dig? Unless...
No money, no honey. You know the rules.
And THAT is my favorite thing to say after a very attractive male coworker said it to me once regarding his customers. It sounds different coming from an attractive man. When women say it, it’s just a matter of fact. When a good looking man says it, it’s fun to hear.
Women do not commonly have that charisma and witty repartee required to hold the attention of most audiences. It’s why men are more successful and paid more in movies. Men are better narrators. Can you imagine if THE OUTSIDERS were a cast of women instead of Tom Cruise, and Patrick Swayze? That movie would seriously suck. That’s right GhostBusters 2016, your movie sucked.
Ladies can be 100% tits and ass if that’s how you want to advertise yourself, but then don’t act surprised when us women call you tits and ass. I don’t owe you anything. You’re not my sister. I know who my friends are. You’re not one of them, little miss tits and ass.
Sure, I’ll put images out there, and deal with maggots like the obvious married guy cheating on his wife who then has the audacity to send me angry messages when I don’t comply to his hasty 3am chat requests two weeks after he desperately tried to to fuck me while his wife was in the hospital following a near fatal car accident, but I also don’t list “tits” as being a reason why any respectable employer should hire me...
Nor do I list being a woman, a minority,or an AARP applicant.
Women were far smarter and intuitive in the 50’s than they are today. Women today are idiots, thank you Kardashians for lowering the intellectual bar, and raising the superficial one.
Women in the 50’s were undeservingly treated like shit. Women today more often than not, deserve it.
Be that as it may...
No 🖕🏻
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Reloaded ready to go
I’m one with the universe.
Yesterday Miso kitty (that’s me-so-kitty) paid me a visit
And then this morning I leveled my energy on yet another nitwit 20-something who thinks she knows something about anything other than her tits, which by her own admission is a job skill to be a writer on SNL. Yeah that makes sense.
Here’s the thing, I live here. Whatever convention is in town, it’s still just another day in Las Vegas, to me. I live here. When the rodeo was in town, as much as I deplore bull riding, to be honest, there were a few Clint Black cowboys who made me lose track of time. How? They were smart. For starters, they closed their laptops and went out.
I live here, so...
Yeah. No. Don’t care.
What else ya got?
If sex is your objective when you travel, and you can’t get laid by someone in a bar or a casino in Las Vegas, what makes you think you’ll do any better online with a complete stranger?
I’m going out tomorrow night. Maybe I’ll see you. Maybe not. It’s Vegas. We’ll both get what we’re looking for if our game’s on point.
I’m going out tomorrow night. Maybe I’ll see you. Maybe not. It’s Vegas. We’ll both get what we’re looking for if our game’s on point.
I’ll meet someone maybe once every two or three years online. And that’s only because they gave me a good enough reason to meet them. Telling me you have a big dick is the exact same thing as telling me, “I’m a moron.” It’s like women texting men, “I have big tits.” — yeah and?
(Comic) Chris Porter said it best, if women have that kind of pussy power, wield it to force men to cure cancer and AIDS. No sex until you men fix some shit.
Your big dick and long stamina means nothing to me. Absolutely nothing.
What else ya got?
Whorebag shark do do do do do do
Not only was the story fake to begin with, this useless whore was willing to suck dick in exchange for violence to a minor.
On your knees maggot. Open wide, bitch. You never know you might be good at it, you stupid fucking cunt.
What’s worse, this whorebag slut offering free blowjobs in exchange for violence to a minor over a fake story (you dumb bitch), or the fact she writes for SNL. God how embarrassing either way.
Is it at all entirely possible for you slags to not make women look stupid? No? Ok then just checking.
Is it at all entirely possible for you slags to not make women look stupid? No? Ok then just checking.
SHEEP
Go ahead men, call women stupid fucking whores. It seems earned more than not.
PURGE!!! What the fuck are we waiting for?! PURGE is a multi-billion dollar industry because we all want it. Let’s fucking go!!!
I’m fed up with stupid women. So sick of them.
I’m fed up with stupid women. So sick of them.
Tuesday, January 22, 2019
Walk on in, Miso kitty
There’s my girl.
I have not seen her since Friday.
After my third attempt to cuddle the kitty, she gave me a look as if to say, “Look bitch, put me down. You’ve been good to me so you get a warning. Pick me up again and I’ll strangle you with your own portrait wire over there.”
Oh really kitty.
Oh really!
You are my seven day lord and master, kitty-cat. Forgive me. I’m sorry.
I really have become this cat’s bitch.
(Sigh)
Now I have to be a severe fucking asshole to someone else just to balance the universe.
Bye kitty. Until next time.
That’s my kitty 😈
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)