Dicks

When I was young I worked in a record store.

 

One of my coworkers at the record store was an English guy named Paul. He was married. Young couple. Back then music stores were great to work in. File sharing was just becoming a thing, so benefits were: free passes to music events, free concert tickets, free concession, free music equipment, free records/CDs, free merchandise, etc. And back then a lot of music backstage/industry nights happened on Thursdays, which we always got passes to. Paul never went. We, his coworkers, never asked why. None of our business. But then one day I made it my business and asked, "Why are you never available on Thursdays?" And Paul replied, "Because Thursdays, I give to my wife. She insists I give her one night where I come home from work and devote 100% of my attention and time to whatever she wants. Whatever it is. Thursday is her night."

Interesting. Considerate. Romantic. Whatever.

Years later...

I made Thursdays my "me" day. My time. My day. To do whatever I want even if it's just ordering Chinese food & Netflix'ing Christmas movies in July, by myself, Thursday is my day. 

"Why Thursdays?"

Dunno. Then I remembered Paul saying Thursday is the one night a week he devotes entirely to his wife. 

I like the idea enough.

Want to do something huge for me? One day a week leave me alone for 24 hours. Everybody.

Thursday is my day. It's been my self proclaimed day off, for years. Thursday, I just want to be by myself to do my thing. And for whatever reason (some) people have a serious problem with this. By 11am Thursday morning, without fail, the text messages start. Every Thursday.

Look...

I have other days off. Thursday is MY day.

"It's Thursday, you have the day off. Go do this thing for me!"

Sure. Because on my day off I just eagerly await your call in the hopes I get to do something for you. --She said with heavy sarcasm.

"You're off Thursdays, and that's THE ONLY day I'm free." He says. 

Really? That's the only day? No other days available this month? Just Thursdays? We can't meet after work one night, or on another day off? 

No? 

Really? 

Only Thursdays, huh?

Really? 

Christ.

Really?

I've lived with men since 2003, no offense but now that I live alone I want to enjoy MY apartment ALONE. It's one day a week. My private little space to put up curtains, hang pictures, buy dishes, do nothing, watch porn, masturbate, whatever, I shouldn't have to explain myself.

From now on I'm just going to print this blog and hand it out.

If you get a printout of this blog, it's my polite way of saying, "You're acting like a dick."