A different kind of Mother's Day

"You took my mother where?"

 

I took her to see Fading Gigolo at the Santa Monica 4plex.

  

 

What's the big deal? It has Woody Allen in it. Your mom loves Woody Allen. He's brilliant in this - so is John Turturro, and of course, Sharon Stone is just hot!! "Fuck you... Fuck.. you... Fuck you, Claud!" 

 

"You were just supposed to take her out to brunch until I finished my meeting!"

 

We've been gone 7 hours. How long do you think it takes to eat Eggs Florentine?

 

"You didn't do anything else did you?!"

 

Calm down, of course not. Well, I did however tell her about the book I'm reading.

 

SICK CITY by Tony O'Neill



 

 

But I only brought it up because your mom said, "It's too bad my son's a homosexual. But he's still lucky to have you as a friend." but don't worry I corrected her. I read her a bit from page 175.

 

 

Page 175

 

"I ain't a homo.

 

"You fuck guys."

 

"For money."

 

"You fuck guys though."

 

"So?" Spider said, stopping what he was doing and staring at Tyler. "If I cut someone's lawn for ten bucks, it don't make me a landscaper."

 

 

See?? Your mom totally understood!!

 

"You're not allowed to be alone with my mother anymore."

 

She thought it was funny!! Your mom is cool and an adult!! She can do what she wants! Plus I'm already taking her to the museum next week. I told her you would act all edgy for taking her to see Fading Gigolo and she just waved you off and said you have "schpilkas".

 

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

Hope it clears up soon.

 

 

Now I'm going to uncork this bottle of wine,

 

Coppola Votre Sante -- Pinot Noir

 

And read more of my book. I went through 150 pages last night.