Where the sun don't shine, honey!

Remember when the biggest medical scare was herpes? But then you fucked a few rockstars and don’t worry about it so much anymore. Problem solved! 

Not me of course. I was a hobo drunkard back then. Unless they nailed me while I was passed out. Which might explain where all the money left on my dresser came from. Thanks for the rent money! 

(Yeah right. Like I’m the only one.)

How many travel bans do we have now in U.S.? I’ve lost count. 

It’s amazing how the U.S. will tell every government official to go fuck themselves, but not our own, who like really need to it hear from time to time. Like now! Where the fuck is your backbone, America? 

“What? Science. Nooooooo!”

The NBA had to shut down before you decide, “Oh well maybe there should be free corona virus testing. I don’t know? Let’s consult the mighty oracle Mister Mcfurballs, once he’s done shaking his fluff in the litter box. Don’t want to be rude.”

Corona Virus? Lies! Let’s raise more taxes! 

“Every disaster movie starts with the government ignoring a scientist.” 

Yes ma’am. Yes indeedy. 

And speaking of Mr Mcfurballs, I don’t have the heart to get into it again so just click the link. 

FOREVER MY BUDDY

I’m back in Los Angeles. Where people have most their teeth. Blessed overpriced everything. 

A fifteen minute Lyft ride in Vegas, $17 plus tip.

A fifteen minute Lyft ride in LA, $35 plus tip.

Whatever. I’ll pay it. I’ll work 27 jobs if it means I get to be near my friends and loved ones. I’m home. 

This coronavirus pandemic is a very big deal. Don’t waste your energy on anti-science people, maybe prayer will save them. These are the same idiots who swear up and down heterosexuals can’t get HIV. 

“Condoms? I’m not wearing condoms. I’m not queer. Why do I need to wear condoms?” 

At first I was like corona virus, you guys are way overreacting. Settle down. But then one by one, a tragic epidemic turned into a pandemic, turned into horrific crimes against man (Dr. Li Wenliang), turned into corruption (Chinese government), turned into ignorance (American government), turned into incompetence (President Trump), followed by naivety and blatant disregard by dumb as fuck American people. 

Yes, I'm still a registered Republican. A liberal conservative who wants tighter reins put on our government. Are we North Korea, or the U.S.? 

“Whaaat how dare you question the integrity of our government. Lets raise more taxes!”

Why is cardi B. the only person who openly questions where all this tax money goes every year? Why is she the voice of reason? 

Here’s what I think, if you don’t make $40,000 a year, then ZERO taxes get taken out of your paycheck. ZERO. Because maybe then people could afford milk for their children and basic healthcare. So other people don’t have to pay it. Doesn’t that make a little more sense then that fucking nitwit AOC and her “We’ll socialize just the tippy tippy top wealthy people of America.” 

OR

You could just not tax people of a certain lower income bracket. Immediate and effective. How people like change for the better to be.

Furthermore, I just really hate Trump. You weak-ass Republicans. You hate him too. What a POS poor excuse for a human being. I cannot believe that myself and Senator Mitt Romney, are the only two Republicans in our party who think Trump is a buffoon of epic proportion. WTF is wrong with you people? Where’s your backbone?!

 Do I want to know if I have corona virus? Yeah actually I do. Do I want to know if I have cancer? Not really. Do I want to know if I have HIV. Yes absolutely. Do I want to know if I have early stages of Alzheimers? Nope. Funny little world ain’t it? But, regardless, I think all of these tests should be free of charge and readily available for whoever wants it. 

So 

Anyway

It’s pouring rain in L.A. Walking across the street, myself and four other umbrella jockies make like the 300 Greeks at the Battle of Thermopylae, with our umbrellas every time a car passes by. Shields!

Well, what do you say Aramis? Friday the 13th. Wanna get fancy?