No touching

Welp, Las Vegas is in full Coronavirus madness since one man flew in from Wahington State and tested positive. I don't know if the other passangers on his plane have been notified but I'm assuming they will find out if they have coronavirus should they start having breathing problems. What a horror show.

Vegas is now on the list.

"Nevada Gov. Steve Sisolak urged residents and tourists to remain calm and follow guidance from health officials about ways to stem the spread of the virus."

Remain calm, he says.

Remain calm.

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Holy shit PANIC!

Panic!!

Panic everywhere!!

Everybody panic!!

Why aren't you panicking!!

The air is so thick and strained with animosity and fear I'm reminded of the 1992 L.A. riots, 1994 Northridge earthquake, 2001 9/11, all amid this damn election.

Stores are running out of everything. And while we joke about the panic and hysteria, people are hijacking and hoarding toilet paper. The city is quietly shutting in for 30 days like it's 8 months pregnant with the king's illegitimate baby.

My friends in the casinos tell me employees who have traveled out of the country recently are being put on leave for 30 days even if they tested negative for coronavirus.

Grubhub and other delivery services now have a "no contact delivery" option where your groceries are left on your doorstep, assuming everyone who handled your order prior to that wore gloves and/or washed their hands properly and didn't sneeze in your food. We all saw that clip of the guy at the buffet sipping soup directly out of the soup ladle, right?

And of course what's a virus without prejudice? Damn Asians. Ruin everything. Then again, I've text all my friends in L.A. that I'm almost positive I have coronavirus. I've read and heard so much coronavirus news in the last 48 hours I absolutely must have it. I mean, that's how it works right?

Bill Maher defends Chris Matthews after being fired for telling a girl she's pretty, and social media is having a field day. Laura Bassett, you're a fragile twat. All he did was called you pretty. Meanwhile, as I type this, my 80 year old downstairs neighbor is screaming at his ex-wife on the phone that he doesn't think he should pay her $500 a month alimony anymore so she can, and I'm quoting, buy that expensive cat food when cats will eat anything. What does he care what she does with her money? Judge ordered him to pay her. Pay her! It's not his money anymore. It's hers. And if you ever met my downstairs neighbor $500 is not enough. Not even close. He complains about everything. Every morning starting at 7am. For hours. 5150!

Reportedly in 2013 Alan Markovitz bought a house next to his ex-wife and erected a $7,000 bronze statue of a middle finger in his back yard, right where his ex-wife can see it every day.

So I guess I'll spend this coronavirus shut in caturday drawing ghost cat illustrations, watching movies, reading social media, and watching the actual cat sleep.

Happy Saturday!

Oh! One other thing. Whitney Houston has a residency at the Flamingo, or rather her hologram does. Up to $99 per ticket.

Prediction: Adult encounter holograms

Logan's Run, darling. I've never killed anyone in my life. Sandmen terminate runners.

10:24am

The helicopters have already started circling. News 'copters no doubt.

Aaaaand there's the sirens.