Me and my pussy wagon

L.I.V.I.N.

Preach it, Mathew McConaughey !!

100% absolute freedom.

Love it.

Apparently there's been some big soccer thingy going on in the world. I've been watching it in the mornings on a Spanish channel while drinking my pre-run caffeine. Coincidentally, I've also noticed a rapid decline of desire regarding my once beloved morning "O". I'm pretty sure the two are related. Might have something to do with seeing men from around the globe randomly drop to the ground like little girls faking knee injuries. "My kneeeeeee! My kneeeeeee! Oh! Oh! Ooh! Aah! Eee! My kneeeee! Son of a mother's French baguette, my kneeeeee!" Dude, you're not even in the game! You're just drinking Gatorade on the sideline! 

Such a turn off witnessing men whine like little girls. Get up. Be a man!  

So when I asked the bartender how much that particular beer on draft is, and he replied $4 and I said, "Awesome, that's great!" there was no need to tug my hair. In this town that is a good price. You guys know, you live here! Why do you have to mess with my hair? (Hair envy!) Just like Tony Moreno: "Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair."

 The girl who does my hair back home in L.A. methodically, structurally, geometrically, meticulously... Look, it's automatic, systematic, hydromatic, why it's Grease Lightening! (A real pussy wagon!) ... And she layers my hair in such a way it should be taught in every beauty school around the globe! she's brilliant! I adore her! And she's a big dyke lesbian (her words, not mine!) who could leg-wrestle you to China of she wanted! I don't know what that means, but she could totally do it! I'm so telling her you tugged on her master work. (You in troublllllllle.)

I'm sad I missed Steve Martin perform in Los Angeles. Love that guy. He writes about human beings in such a subtle and clear way, it's brilliant. And he's a man with a banjo. I think he truly understands people. I knew I was going to miss him perform when I made my itinerary but some things are more important.

I'm currently in my traveling laboratory creating a vaccination for egotism. Mad science, I know. But who better to hex a formula for madness, than a mad scientist. Like duuuuh.  

I love reading how serious people take themselves. Don't do it. it's a fool's errand.

In the end,

The meek shall rule the earth.... The humble shall rule the earth... The meek and humble shall hook up with the Transformers and destroy Satan.

(I don't know. It's something like that!)

Don't like it, don't let the door hit your ass-clown on the way out.