Greetings from the barren wasteland.
I've hit my right leg, just above the knee, into one of the end tables in my living room so many times this past year I have very little feeling left on that part of my leg. My brain has suffered the same damage working in hospitality. You people are crazy, period. Drunks. Junkies. Fat disheveled trailer trash. At the end of this summer I'm done working with the public. I'm most likely done with Las Vegas. Let's see what happens this winter.
It's 62 degrees Fahrenheit in Anchorage today. A miserable 111 F in Las Vegas, and that crazy stray cat wants to be outside. Miso really is a desert cat. Crazy little boy. Crazy from the heat.
And speaking of heat
Same old story. A girl I work with is flirting heavily with a new'ish manager. A married new'ish manager. She follows him around all night long. She ignores her work, she's gunning for a promotion, she just does whatever she wants because she feels protected by this new'ish (very married) manager. Bets? Have they had sex yet? Will it blow up in their faces because of his wife, or because of his/our boss. Cameras all over everywhere, boys and girls. If they were being discrete they might have had a shot. But she's not being discrete - at all. She's on him like bees on honey all night long. The Honey Couple. Ah to be young and adorable again. I wish I could be all positive, "Heck no you crazy kids will be fine. Have your affair in the work place with zero discretion, cameras all over. What could possibly go wrong?"
I'm watching THE OUTSIDERS for the one-millionth time. Love this movie, the scene where Dallas Winston gets Johnny and Ponyboy out of town, love that scene, we all need a friend like Dallas Winston. I'd probably be your hideout. My Alaskan cabin would be the "abandoned church on Jay Mountain".
$25.00 US dollars equals 569,875.80 Vietnamese Dong. Which WTF should we start with first?
Ever been Siberia? I get laid off from work around October. Let's! Trans Siberian Railway! Or Trans Mongolian Railway, from Moscow to Mongoloa. Check it out, if we were to fly from Anchorage to Moscow, it's upwards to $3,200 but if we were to wait until the ice freezes over its supposedly a 55 1/2 mile walk, snowshoe, snowmobile, across the ice for free. Challenge accepted! If we can live entirely outdoors for two weeks during the St Croix survival challenge in the dead of winter Minnesota, averaging (minus) -10 below, and not freeze to death, or die of starvation and/or dysentery, we can snowmobile or snowshoe 55 1/2 miles on ice to Russia. The allowed frozen water passage from Alaska to Russia, is reportedly only 3 miles wide. I'm curious how it was decided that this particular passage became American safe, while the rest of the frozen ice (I assume) belongs to Russia? I wonder if it's illegal to snowmobile/walk to Moscow? We have passports. Will the KGB come after us on Ski Doo's like ICE agents? Are they still called the KGB? Run, bitches! I'll have to seriously look into that. Maybe not snowshoe. When does Alaska get completely dark?
I want to see polar bears... from a respectful distance.
We'll need tranquilizer guns. Not sure how much tranquilizer it takes to subdue a polar bear?
And speaking of guns. I'm getting professional training. It's one thing to be standing still, shooting at stationary designated targets, it's quite another to be outdoors and suddenly facing danger.
The gun range (all NRA instructors) are going to teach me how to draw my weapon from conceal carry. Don't worry guys, I got this. I've seen the movies. I just kick the door in, yank out my gun, and get all BLAM! BLAM! fucking BLAM!!! ... BLAM!!! ... BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
What?
No?
No good?
Who knew some NRA instructors have no sense of humor.
The gun range has happy hour. Sweet.
According to their website you can be as young as 7 years old to shoot one of their guns. The minimum age to fly a plane alone is twelve. Explain to me again why you have to be sixteen to drive a car?
"Are you making jokes about guns?"
Yep. I'm a horrible person. You must be new to my blogs. Are you not supposed to leave the gun range with their automatic weapons? Asking for a friend.
I was totally in the mood to be social last night, Friday night, BUT then I went to the grocery store and was quickly reminded why I want to move to Alaska. Some woman who doesn't speak English and her caravan of kids started a near three car pileup when she gunned her caravan in reverse for the
entirely of the parking lot just to get out of her parking spot. She almost hit a half dozen pedestrians, myself included, and practically plowed into three cars, two of them parked. And then had the audacity to scream at everyone in (I think) Spanish, out her window, for everyone to get out of her way. Must be nice to have the world revolve around you, or so I'm guessing.
PURGE!
Fuck it. I stayed home and watched movies.
Just out of curiosity, how come we all used giant meat lockers in our basements during the winter months in Minnesota? Mother Nature provided the best freezers in the world November through February. Why did people use outdoor meat caches in the fall, but not during the winter months? Just curious. I guess the basement was easier to get to. Although who didn't almost crack their heads open at least three times a year as a kid falling down those concrete steps? I remember slipping on the first step and summersaulting my little ass all way down to the bottom of the stairwell when I was about 8 years old. I heard my own skull crunch against each step. Kids back then, we were tougher than concrete. Not today, friends. Kids today need a "safe space" at Bed Bath And Beyond. Let's see those little crybabies snowshoe to Moscow.
Maybe I'll just give Aramis a set of my apartment keys. Him and his chick have been hanging out in Vegas lately. It's a small apartment but someone should use it if I'm still renting it.
My friend EQ, may actually "leave his wife" after all, moving back to LA, to be a funeral director (cool gig!) and staying with a girl friend of his in Woodland Hills. His wife makes more money than him so there's no problems there regarding his divorce, and they've been married over ten years. Alimony for life? It's not really abandonment when he got a great job offer in LA? It's for work.
Many couples live in two states.
So what am I gonna do with the cat? I can't see Miso in snow. I really can't. He loves this neighborhood. But I'm his primary feeder. Can I hire someone to feed him?
Would anyone like to live in my Las Vegas apartment from November, 2019 to March 1, 2020? All you have to do is feed Miso stray cat every day, and give him shelter from the cold if he wants it. He understands routine. We have a feeding routine. He knows when I go out looking for him to feed him and check on him. I've been doing it the same time every day since January.
So it's now Saturday morning. I'm in the mood to be social tonight but these stupid emails I get from men are quickly making me change my mind. In what world does, "I'd love to fuck you." Actually get a guy laid? Morons.
Maybe there's something good in Redbox. I'll end up staying home I'm sure, make a nice salad, cheese cannelloni, and finish my "Static" drawing.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
One day...
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