"Excuse me, is anyone sitting in this chair?" I ask the woman standing next to the empty bar stool.
"It'll cost ya $25!" she snorts in a thick MN accent, giving me the elbow to let me know she was only kidding. "I'm just trying to make some extra money!" she snorts again, giving me the elbow one more time.
I had a response to that but I kept it to myself.
Even her snorting laugh had a MN accent.
Some midwesterners are truly interesting creatures. They'll keep trying and trying for a response to their humor like their chilly little noses depends on it. Anywhere else in the country, "Excuse me, is anyone using this chair?" and the reply would simply be yes, no, or go fuck yourself. Conversation over.
But not in MN
"Glad to see the cold isn't keeping people from going out." she says stating the obvious.
Options: Go out, drink beer. Stay home, drink beer. Only you don't get laid staying home.
"A few more of these (lifts her glass) and I'm going to wish I stayed home." she snorts again giving me the elbow one more time.
That would make both of us.
This had potential to go on all night.
I just grabbed the chair. Fuck it.
Thank you Clay @RayJ's for being (that) awesome.
Phoenix Airport.
Oh my fucking god. Christ. Jesus.
An hour on the tarmac waiting for a gate. Once inside the airport everyone with access to an intercom system used it all at the same time, talking over each other nonstop. And another hour on the tarmac waiting to take off.
But,
I rather deal with your ridiculous airport than the MN bullet I just missed being the 5 degree temp at night.
Yes. 5 degrees. You read correctly.
Lewis Black, has a bit about MN winter weather along the lines of, "I couldn't keep a single thought in my head the entire time I was there. You know, I really need to... fuck it's cold!!"
I miss winter sometimes. Just not the crazy that goes with it.
No comments:
Post a Comment