Presently, I think Pedro Pascal is the sexiest man alive. And if you notice in the pics I link on my blog, he’s always fully clothed sometimes wearing a full length jacket. I’m over gratuitous sex, just like I’m over post 90’s rip and tear slasher films. I need more. Films like The Omen, circa 1976, had great storylines, like The Exorcist, and The Amityville Horror. Instant gratification isn’t always instant nor gratifying, not for me anyway. I need that buildup. Just like I can’t scroll through pics of potential adult meetups where it’s all genitals, genitals, genitals, for fuck sake more genitals. It irritates me when couples, two people, take the most ridiculous gutter of a picture and both of them actually think it’s hot. Look, I watched the first SAW movie. That was enough. I get that Lionsgate is catering to a younger audience resting on the laurels of pure gore, violence, and madness, but I much rather teenage boys fantasize about bouncing boobs (or hunks if that’s your deal) rather than ripping people apart with claw hammers and chainsaws.
I read in an interview that PURGE was written after DeMonaco and his wife experienced a little genteel road rage. ** Genteel road rage is when people make a gajillion dollars on a successful dystopian horror movie franchise rather than reaching into the glove compartment that night for a gun.
My next minute walk reel is going to be an experiment in what I hope becomes my re-entry into the world of visual art.
JULY 29, SATURDAY
You know how whenever there’s a riot in a black community CNN always has some hysterical black woman screaming, “But we don’t own anything! So what do we care if they riot here!” See that, that right there, that’s why people don’t want you living in their neighborhood. You have no pride. You don’t have to own something to want to live in a clean neighborhood. But no, instead people have the mentality of “We don’t own it, destroy it.” Maybe you enjoy stepping over cockroaches, shattered glass, junkies, and homeless people, but I don’t.
(5:20am)
I just got kicked off two date sites because I said I was looking for a man who would, will, or has taken his grand/daughter to see the Barbie movie.
Cockroaches hate the smell of mint apparently. When I moved into my apartment they set off a mint bomb, they said, because the apartment smelled “musty”. No, it’s because the apartment has cockroaches. Since I moved in last Saturday two smaller male cockroaches met the bottom of my shoes, and in the last two days two much bigger female cockroaches met the bottom of my shoe. Any bigger and I would have had to squish them with a book. No way was I going to step on them, too big! So I went out in the 114 degree heat, yelled at some ASSHOLE walking his dog across the hot parking lot, and then waited 45 minutes for the metro to take me to Target. I picked up a bottle of Mighty Mint ant and cockroach spray, came back to my apartment and sprayed. I much rather use Might Mint all natural spray than poison. I don’t mind the mint spray scent actually. It just smells like a new car.
I explained to a friend back in LA why I moved cross town to the Las Vegas strip ghetto, that the guy who rented a room next to me was an absolute weirdo running around in just his underwear and peeing on the bathroom counter, and my male friend casually says, “Well he just liked you.” And I replied, “You know that type of behavior is not okay?” And he says, “He’s asserting his dominance.” To which I laughed and said, “Sure, if he was a kangaroo, but he’s not!” My friend got mad and hung up on me.
Men would still be the “dominant” gender if only they knew how. Most do not. Most men still think it’s 1950. That’s why they get dogs to abuse and force them to walk and sit on hot pavement because women just won’t allow being abused anymore. Instead of being clever, witty, smart, kind, thoughtful, and sincere, most men still need to “be a man” and force square pegs into round holes and then pound their chests and pee on a tree. Yes, women know those men look and act ridiculous but… pick your battles.
We’ll see if this Mighty Mint spray actually works.
Did anyone else see the Death Star last night on the Sphere? It lasted about 3 seconds. It was pretty basic. Maybe it will get better?
A few things about Barbie. FIRST OF ALL, all the social media makeup girls who are doing the anti Barbie trend, y’all may not have blonde hair but when you transform from Barbie back to you, ALL OF YOU look like dark hair Barbie. You’re all still pretty but with dark hair instead of blonde.
ALSO, the original Barbie was a brunette. Then they made her hair blonde.
ALSO, what the fuck is wrong with you, Ben Shapiro? You’re a grown man getting aggro over (firstly) a Barbie doll, and (second) a fictional movie. It’s like you’re one of those old white men screaming on CNN how bread tastes better if it’s baked by a communist. Barbie made like 400 million dollars opening weekend, that’s what you’re really mad about isn’t it? Margot Robbie is more popular than you. She just is. You should see her in Mary Queen of Scots, and I, Tonya. Brilliant.
ALSO, both AI and Barbie seem to think women in Las Vegas look like this. No. They don’t. For the record, I have yet to see a single chick with pink hair, or even wear the color pink - or anywhere near this pretty.
I went to walmart this morning, no swamp cooler, no portable air conditioners, not in Las Vegas in July. I musta been high thinking there would be something. Nope. Fuck all. Nothing. I got another fan.
I’m going to say something now. I know you’re going to disagree but it’s my blog, so fuck you. That woman who sued or is suing her parents for being born, the one where all the old white men on TV are screaming how “woke” she is, welp, I can’t say I disagree with her. Wait! Hear me out first. Look at all the throw away people in Las Vegas alone. Look at the hundreds of homeless and mentally ill people. I’m not far behind them! Holy shit, right? But look at how many there are. All those unfortunate people were born and thrown away by their own families. I’m not saying some may not have had good reason, I’m just saying people shouldn’t throw their family to the streets, ever. I don’t care about the reason. If you’re going to throw your family members away, don’t litter. So yea, crazy lady, sue them. “My kids are such a disappointment. I’m not leaving them any money in my Will.” Okay, fuck you then. But didja know if your parents do that, you’re within your legal rights to contest the Will. So what’s the difference between suing your parents when they’re alive, and suing them when they’re dead?
Go ahead scholars, discuss. Seriously, discuss it.
Packing up for the move. As I mentioned before of course I’m not happy staying by the strip but it’s my own place, provided I was given the correct information this time, and I’m not sharing a bathroom with anyone which is so super important, right? Living with people is hard. Of course I like other people around under the same roof, it’s comforting, but you have to live with people who are sane, clean, respectful, and not needy. Men, people, who don’t have their own thing are so goddamn needy. More often than not, men of a certain age use women as their thing to occupy their time. It’s so frustrating. Like, don’t you have ANY hobbies or interests??
Friends ask me if I’m going to get a camera. Eventually. Right now I use what I got. Can’t really call yourself an artist if you can’t make art with what you got, right?
And why are all the young people so angry over Barbie? I don’t look like Barbie but I had a doll once, and then my brothers set her on fire which really should have raised some flags but they turned out okay. I also had Barbie’s giant head. Just the head. Remember the big head to put makeup on and do her hair? I had that. Haunts my dreams still to this day.
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JULY 21, FRIDAY
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July 19, 1863 - During the American Civil War, Union troops made a second attempt to capture Fort Wagner near Charleston, South Carolina. The attack was led by the 54th Massachusetts Colored Infantry, commanded by Colonel Robert Gould Shaw, who was killed along with half of the 600 men in the regiment. This battle marked the first use of black Union troops in the war.
(11:58pm)
Because I just want to make short films, and create coffee table books, and prints, and remind people to feel things that aren't always self serving.
(8:38pm)
OF COURSE I had to get a hotdog on National Hotdog Day. A Korean hotdog. Under that potato is a hotdog I promise.
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(5:53am)
JULY 17, MONDAY
(4:13pm)
You can do this. You can. You can do this. You can do this. You can get through another day cleaning up after people. You can do this. You got this. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…
Americans love wanting their money back after they spent it on a product they enjoyed at least 70%. But because they didn’t enjoy it 110% they want a complete refund. That’s America.
YOU, America heavily participated making Jeff Bezos and Kim Kardashian wealthy. You did that. You then do not get to turn around and say “Give us our money back so we can afford to live in a wealthy state like California.” You don’t get to do that.
California writers who are on strike can suck my balls, both of them. You can suck my balls day and night until winter. After that you have to give someone else a chance. Don’t be greedy.
I couldn’t afford Los Angeles anymore. I moved. Like an adult. If I can do it because I had to. So can you. “I deserve to live in Los Angeles. Pay me more money!” How fucking dare you. Go fuck yourself. You can work remotely. There’s Starbucks everywhere. Go live somewhere more affordable. It’s called adulting. Be THANKFUL you get to have a career you love. Greedy cunts.
(2:58pm)
Oh great. Another dude who spends HOURS in the bathroom. We are now entering hour #2 for this guy. WTF do you males do in there? I’m legit in and out in less than 25 minutes when I shower.
(7:26am)
I screamed and cried only once at work last night.
JULY 16, SUNDAY
July 16, 1769 - San Diego was founded as the mission San Diego de Alcala by Father Junipero Serra.
July 16, 1945 - The experimental Atomic bomb "Fat Boy" was set off at 5:30 a.m. in the desert of New Mexico desert, creating a mushroom cloud rising 41,000 ft. The bomb emitted heat three times the temperature of the interior of the sun and wiped out all plant and animal life within a mile.
July 16, 1969 - The Apollo 11 Lunar landing mission began with a liftoff from Kennedy Space Center at 9:37 a.m.
(7:46pm)
First of all, it’s 115 degrees here now. Which makes moving, for a pedestrian like me, impossible. I paid over $80 in Uber one morning looking at weekly apartment rentals I stayed in when I first came out here in 2017. Alas, these places that are advertised as still being there, are not. One place is now completely something else, and they wanted a guaranteed three weeks pre-pay, and I’m like can I see the unit first, and this woman in her 70’s with Dr Frank-N-Furter eyebrows informs me I could not. Who rents an apartment without seeing the apartment first? But she refused to show me. The second place requires me to make $1500 a week to rent a $400 week apartment. Yeah, makes total sense, eh? I call it the, “She’s Asian, lets gouge her because I assume she has money.” - HA!HA!HA! Yea no.
Yep, the dirty Italian girl moved out. It’s a couple in the upstairs room now? Or maybe it was two guys in the other two rooms? I thought I heard a woman, so. Who knows? I was watching Tom Segura’s Netflix special, Sludgehammer. So funny. He’s funny AF with the most subtle jokes. He tells the best stories. I love story humor. It’s why I can listen to Kevin Smith talk “and stuff like that.”
The dirty Italian girl moved out, I think. This girl was horrible. Didn’t flush the toilet ever, left hair EVERYWHERE, you think I was pulling a dead hamster out of the shower drain after she showered! And she couldn’t be bothered to sponge clean the kitchen counter and stove top after she cooked. I must have used a half container of sanitizer wipes after this girl since Wednesday! I’m too old for roommates, let alone roommates who are filthy. Gross. And people wonder why they put the bare minimum into an airbnbs. It’s because people, adults, who you think would be normal and clean up after themselves, don’t! They just don’t. Like bro, swish a toilet brush around the bowl if you make a mess. Like they were raised by rats or something! And don't say it's because she's Euro, that's not it, not at all, it's because this bitch is nasty. Like the guy I shared a bathroom with in the last room I rented. Had he just been NORMAL I would still be renting there. I’m in this place in Chi town for another week and then I’ll probably go into a hotel until the guy renting the condos comes back into town - in like two weeks.
Good news: my blood sugar levels are back down to normal. I had a poke salad with fish for dinner last night so that helped. Back to eating boring tuna, steamed potato (no butter or anything), bananas, etc. (LA’ SIGH!)
Anyway, how you doing?
TWO-LANE BLACKTOP WALKING edition
July 15, Saturday
Birthday - Dutch painter Rembrandt van Rijn (1606-1669) was born in Leiden, Holland. Best known for The Night Watch and many portraits and self portraits.
(6:53pm)
What? What? She's nine. NINE! WTF did you do today?!
WE ALL GOT OUTDONE BY A NINE Y.O.
(6:34pm)
New Two-Lane Blacktop, walking edition:
MY NEW YOUTUBE REEL OF BLACKTOP PHOTOS
Today is day 3 staying back in Chinatown. I’m not feeling very good right now. I checked my BP and heart monitor, I’m good there. Then I checked my blood sugar levels, and holy shit. No more ramen soup, white rice, and wine for a while. 3 days of enjoying life and I’m almost back in the ER. When the sun goes down I’m getting some Mediterranean food. Last Thursday night I was super bad. I had three glasses of red wine and then later In-N-Out burger. Super naughty. I was bed ridden all day yesterday. I always plan a day after recovery when I have more than one glass of wine. I so rarely drink these days that three glasses of wine gets me toasty and horribly hung over the next day.
I need a nap. A nap would be good right now.
(1:09am)
For the life of me I have no idea why the air conditioner is on full blast at 1:19am. It’s 92 degrees outside. 50 degrees inside. I have two sweaters on. One I wear in the winter. I have two comforters on the bed. Some people just love paying high air conditioning bills I guess?
I’m leaving soon anyway to shoot some extra footage for my Two-Lane Blacktop Youtube reel, walking version. I love some of the images already shot for this reel. One is very Wes Anderson’ish which I’m sure I’m the only person who sees it, like I’m the only person I know who sees Wes Anderson in the color scheme of The Orleans hotel and casino. Every time I say “Kinda Wes Anderson, right?” I get heavy eye-roll.
Kinda Wes Anderson, right?
(9:33pm)
Get this girl a mic!
ALL I WANT IS WINGSTOP FUCKING DRIVE 🎤🎵
(3:32pm)
Meh. I’m okay for an old broad.
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(1:38pm)
“This place is unsanitary. We’re going to a hotel.” The woman says. Then asks me, a total stranger, who she just met 30 seconds ago, “Would you mind watching her (points to small child) while I load up the car downstairs?” Um. Sure. No problem. The woman heads downstairs. “So hey kid, you don’t by chance have a cigarette do ya?” I ask her. She said no. It’s okay. I quit smoking in 2002 anyway.
I left Summerlin for China town. The guy with the condos for rent is out of town until next month. I’m cooling my heels in another airbnb until then. I’ve stayed here before. It’s nothing fancy but whatever. There’s two, there were two other rooms rented out. The woman and her kid who just left, and a clearly obvious 20-something failed party girl. As in not pretty enough to be a stripper or escort in Vegas, but skinny and hard looking enough to do just about anything for drugs and $50 so long as you’ve had your shots and a bag of heavy duty steel condoms. Good news is she doesn’t look like she showers much so the bathroom should be pretty freed up.
I made another artsy reel the kids hate on Youtube. Check it out. Ever see (film) Two-Lane Blacktop? No? Well check out the reel anyway. Rob Zombie made the background song about it: BLACKTOP ROLLING
They’re just letting any old white man on the air now. 😂
“Peaches for popsicles there isn’t a good Kentucky bourbon that doesn’t spit out at least one decent pig race in the streets of Kalamazoo, I’ll tell you what! Why, there was a house in Delaware that made combat boot shoe strings out of old Hick Donovan’s para-jump suit and those kids in Kalamazoo raised them hamsters like they were building dams along the Mississippi!”
It’ll be nice to be near friends again. As much as I detest staying by the strip, I’ll have my own place and live next to friends again so I won’t be completely alone, all thanks to my brother and Alan.
I fully expect to have an LA couch surfer on my couch the day after I move in. In fact I already know a few people who want to crash with me. Anna lived on my couch for six years. It’s too bad she didn’t do anything with herself the entire time she lived rent free but whatever I need to refill my good karma. Plus, I don’t mind really. I like having long time friends around. And the place allows pets too so that’s nice.
The strip is like LA. One block is nice. The next six blocks are a dumpster fire. It’s always bad neighborhoods directly next door to nice ones, like in LA. Never a gradual dumpster fire. Just immediate blazing flames! Look at the neighborhoods surrounding MDR and Manhattan Beach, complete ghettos. But it’ll be nice to be near friends again. If you thought traffic prevented you from seeing friends in LA, the strip prevents people from seeing friends. I like the strip when there’s no one around. The moment I have to combat hordes of other people and tourists, I hard pass on seeing friends. Getting to work won’t be bad. I lived in the same building for six months when I first moved out here in 2017. I know how to get around the throngs of tourists.
I keep thinking I’ll meet a nice man and we’ll get a place together and retire. But it’s all these young guys who are into me. So gross. Where are my white 70-something retired soccer coach/nerdy scientist types? Where?! Even a nice plump white 60-something trucker with a mustache will do!
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I’m in the mood to be social. Lets check the inbox…
Nope. I'm already irritated. Aaand just like that I’m searching Netflix movies.
The Venetian Sphere is a monstrosity. There, I said it. No regrets. It’s just one more boring Vegas fishing pole in the water. What they should build is something for people to physically do in the desert, like build an indoor walking/hiking park. But no, they’ll continue to jam more useless junk to get people flying out to Vegas.
Can the mob please go back to running Las Vegas? Please. Please. Please.
I don’t know how the kids keep up with all their social media. It is truly a job in itself. And for a lazy self promoter like me, it took me SIX HOURS to put up all my stuff for 100 views and 2 likes. But, I’m going to keep doing it this time because, well, time is running out.
It is my lot in life to be perpetually irritated. At work, missing can opener, missing chef knife, last five shipments of lettuce were awful, this last one in particular infested with half dead tiny black gnats, last three shipments of cucumbers also awful and unusable, missing sauce bottles, missing prep container lids, no one knows how to open a box (of anything) when they run out of a product, and it just goes on and on…
I’m definitely getting drinks after work tonight.
I have a cardiologist appointment next week in Los Angeles. I have arrhythmias. My heart doesn’t beat normally at times and so every three months I have to get monitored. At least four times a week I think, yep, this is it, I’m going to have a heart attack, it’s the big one, here we go. All because of stress. So my LA heart doc does a tap and renews my prescriptions which I blindly take now because I’m too tired to ask questions. Whatever. Gets me out of town. A reprieve from the heat. I don’t know how kids who grew up here can still wear long sleeve black shirts and black beanie hats in 114 degree heat but bless their cold blooded hearts. My comfort zone is 10 degrees fahrenheit to about 85. Anything and everything outside of that makes me think I’m going mad. I would move back to MN but I hate snow. Can’t afford Los Angeles anymore. I curse myself every day for giving up my rent controlled apartment in Los Angeles when I got married. It is hands down my biggest regret in life. NEVER give up your rent controlled apartment, boys and girls. Never.
I think about death quite a bit these days. My time remaining is short. None of my doctors can say, “Hey you’re doing great. You could go on to live another 35 years.” None of them ever say that. We literally talk in terms of 3-6 months at a time. I shouldn’t be doing the job I’m doing. I’m seriously considering getting on disability. I can. I meet all the medical requirements.
But truthfully, I don’t want to get another pet, unless a senior cat, regardless if all I had every day was myself to keep me company I would no question go mad and kill myself. And every time I think, “you know, it would be nice to have a man to grow old with” - no, no it wouldn’t. That would just be one more irritation in my life as sharing a bathroom with a man these last four months have repeatedly proven.
I don’t know what I want to do with my time left. Keep creating stuff. Making stuff. I need to quit working. It’s so much stress. Too much.
Sleep. Sleep is nice.
Going back to bed.
July 3, 1775 - During the American Revolution, George Washington took command of the Continental Army at Cambridge, Massachusetts.
July 3, 1976 - The raid on Entebbe airport in Uganda occurred as an Israeli commando unit rescued 103 hostages on a hijacked Air France airliner. The jet had been en route from Tel Aviv to Paris when it was hijacked by pro-Palestinian guerrillas. Three hostages, seven hijackers and twenty Ugandan soldiers were killed during the rescue.
Regarding affirmative action, there is no perfect answer here. Y’all know how I feel about it.
I’m a person of color and a woman, and just like with all political subjects the two main parties will scream over each other until they both sound like lunatics, leaving us people of color, leaving all of us, to do what’s best for ourselves because lawd knows no one else will, especially them.
I miss being a bandit. Can we just make this fashionable again?
Anyway…
Words you will never hear me say on my Youtube channel, “Click the like button and subscribe to my channel.” Because as we all know I’m a lazy salesman. I just like making pretty little reels. David Tran is my hero. He invented Sriracha. He made a product people love all without social media and commercials - and was still picked up by Huy Fong Foods because Tran’s Sriracha sauce literally sold itself.
I wrote a Patreon profile because I want people to know what I’m about. I haven’t even set up info on receiving financial donations yet because as we’ve already covered, I’m lazy. I’m surprised I got this far. Aramis and I always talked about making a Dorritos commercial for the Super Bowl even though neither one of us watches football. We just wanted to make a commercial. But then he met her and everything he used to enjoy she destroyed. His long time girlfriend is thee polar opposite of his ex-wife. Goddamn women. His ex-wife was loud and annoying AF but at least she was fun. I still don’t know why she left him but I’m still sad about it!
Right now Dorritos has a tik-tok triangle dance challenge, or at least they did. I don’t dance. I can barely walk. The world seems to love dancing on social media. I’m screwed. Maybe me and that kid in the wheelchair who suffered that permanent spinal injury can do a wheelchair dance?
A friend of mine asked if I edit my photos before turning them into reels. Yes, of course I do! Who wants to see reality? If you want to see the drab old world alls you have to do is walk outside! Imagine if Charlie’s chocolate factory looked like the corner Chevron gas station. No one’s remaking that movie!
You know what happened historically in July? Taxes and war.
2023, if I had kids, I would legit be teaching them all the survival skills I learned as a kid growing up under the threat of a nuclear attack. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so quick to turn all those bomb shelters into wine cellars? We learned how to snowshoe, survive outdoors in (minus) -20 below weather, how to hunt with bow and arrow like we’re elves in LOTR, how to make drinking water, we even learned how to keep warm with blankets of snow. I think Gen X’rs are the only generation of people in America who would survive WWIII. The human race would become extinct here in 40 years.
Good. Good. Start over.
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