FEBRUARY 28, 2021
(7:26pm)
I am now eating a Korean pancake, no sugar, no cholesterol, no fat, no salt, but with chives, onion, and celery, made to help men get better erections. I hope everyone in the medical field is happy.
(7:49am)
I was very hesitant but I'm super horny in the mornings. Be that, after everything I had just been through in the last three days did I really want to risk it? Yes. Yes I did. I eased into a nice masturbation session just now giving myself an orgasm without any excruciating head pain. Success!! (Scroll down and read the last three days.)
And here's the update...
Friday evening, even though I still had a level 7 headache I thought maybe some fresh air would do me good. After running a few errands I made a cup of tea. After drinking the last sip of tea I stood up to wash the mug and stumbled all over the place. The room spun. My head suddenly throbbed in severe pain. Nausea. Level 10 epic pain in the back of my head. Blood coursed through my veins at hyper speed. I immediately sat back down and made the decision to go to the hospital. There are several hospitals just down the street. I called a Lyft but after 5 minutes past none were around. It didn't stop Lyft from charging me $8 but I couldn't wait any longer. I was now afraid maybe I really did have a brain aneurysm. I called 911.
A firetruck immediately showed up. Two firefighters got out and of course one of them was smoking hot. Long story short my blood pressure was 270 over 170. Not good. After five hours in the ER I was admitted and spent the night at the hospital while they lowered my blood pressure. Good news, not a brain aneurysm. Nothing showed up on the cat scan. But on the MRI it showed (7-10 days ago) I had a very tiny stroke located at the back of my brain. An Ischemic stroke. But it wasn't until my BP reached 270/170, when my Thursday evening orgasm was so rudely interrupted, I felt any pain in my head.
A firetruck immediately showed up. Two firefighters got out and of course one of them was smoking hot. Long story short my blood pressure was 270 over 170. Not good. After five hours in the ER I was admitted and spent the night at the hospital while they lowered my blood pressure. Good news, not a brain aneurysm. Nothing showed up on the cat scan. But on the MRI it showed (7-10 days ago) I had a very tiny stroke located at the back of my brain. An Ischemic stroke. But it wasn't until my BP reached 270/170, when my Thursday evening orgasm was so rudely interrupted, I felt any pain in my head.
The morning doctor warned me that high blood pressure is in fact the silent killer with strokes and heart attacks, all ethnicity, all ages, all body types. I was diagnosed back in 2005 with high blood pressure but was just given a strict diet to follow to lower it. That diet is what you know as the DASH diet. Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension (DASH). Back then I was young and adorable and the medical staff felt my BP could be lowered without problem simply with the DASH diet. But apparently that will no longer do. I've been put on BP medication, the doctors say, for the rest of my life. Hypertension is just a part of who I am. And if you've read this idiotic blog from day one (good god really? Why?) then you know some of us are prone with stress disorders and hypertension.
"People can have high blood pressure for years and not know it until something like (this) happens. Getting your blood pressure checked regularly is very important."
But can I still drink wine? I desperately ask.
"How much do you drink?" The doctor inquired.
Um.
Um.
"You can still drink wine in moderation." He confirmed shooting me a little side eye.
OK Great.
Define "moderation".
I know strokes and heart attacks are nothing to joke about. My dad had had a few heart attacks before cancer got him. But this is still my blog. Right... Google?
😄
And let me just say how amazing everyone at St. John's is. They were so good to me. Everyone from the 911 operator to the firefighters to the ER crew and the hospital staff, all so attentive and just amazing. Thank you for taking such good care of me. All of you at St. John's did in fact save my life. (Mark, you were the coolest nurse ever.)
Hypertension.
Stress.
High blood pressure.
The neurologist said 50-something is too young to have a heart attack or a stroke. But some of us live hard. Too hard maybe?
Can I still... you know... jog? I asked my doctor.
"Yes. You can... jog... every day no problem." The doctor reassured.
Thank god. Because lately I've been getting some real good solo... jogs... in. I mean dynamite good. Last Thursday's... jog... would have been a-maaazing. I feel slightly cheated.
"If you can sit and stand back up without any head pain, if you can walk up a flight of stairs without feeling dizzy or nauseous you can... jog... all day long." The doctor reassured. "Just take your PB medicine as prescribed and monitor your BP."
And here's a little medical FYI info for my fellow Asians. My (smoking hot) vascular Neurologist informed me that, "A certain group of people, and you fall into that group (meaning Asians but he was being overly PC) have much smaller sets of arteries going into the brain. High blood pressure and blood clots will squeeze and squeeze the blood into these smaller arteries (in my case, going into the brain) which caused your stroke." So Thursday evening right as I was having my orgasm, the already stressed blood flow couldn't get to my brain fast enough which caused that excruciating motherF'ing pain. So now before I masturbate I do the stand-sit-stand test. If my head doesn't hurt, Thudercats are go!
PS, When you press down on the arteries running up the back of your neck, it will relieve some tension on your brain because you're cutting off the blood flow. Which is why I thought I had a pinched neck.
PSS. The Neurosurgeon asked me if I got car sick as a kid. I did. Because people who are diagnosed with hypertension got car sick as a kid.
FEBRUARY 27, 2021
(6:11pm)
Hey! Eyes down here, mister!
I would date him but he’s chicken.
Chicken.Chicken.Chicken.Chicken
Cluck
Chicken
🐔
FEBRUARY 26, 2021
(12:21pm)
I have a pinched nerve in my neck that’s causing the migraine. When I stretch my neck and press down on the swollen nerve in my neck, the migraine disappears.
Goddamnit! Again?!
Fine.
(4:38am)
After an enjoyable somewhat odd and stressful Wednesday night (you know what I’m talking about, you’ve been there) my whole entire Thursday was shot. 2pm walk of shame. No sleep. On/off migraine headache. Six Advil. Dehydrated. In need of nutrition. Like I said, enjoyable, just really really weird. Around 9pm last night (seven and a ½ hours ago), and I can’t believe I’m telling you this, I got super horny, even with a mild headache, and decided to masturbate before falling asleep. But when I came, the moment I started to orgasm, the back right side of my head felt like I had just been shot point blank with a 12 gauge. All the blood rushed to the right side of my head and it seriously felt like the right side of my head exploded. Thank god I was alone. I was in excruciating pain. I stumbled into the kitchen, naked from the waist down, drank some water, took some Advil, and laid down. I fell asleep, but three hours later I was up again with my head severely throbbing in pain. I put an ice pack on my head, drank a bunch of water, a little caffeine, talked with a friend who said I might be experiencing a brain aneurysm, then took two more Advil and kept the ice pack on my head for an hour. I feel better now. Minor headache 90% gone. Holy shit. That is one ER trip I never want to make.
“What brings you into the ER, ma’am?”
Well doc, I was masturbating, and…
I know I joke about having a brain aneurysm, and most assuredly it is coming one day soon entirely out to stress, but for the love of kittens can I please not have it while masturbating?
Sex Sent Me To the ER. TLC channel. Sure, air my story, horny 52 year old woman dies while masturbating.
Stress
I know it’s because of stress. Like the eczema on my neck. Like that time I got shingles in my 20’s. Stress. Although the eczema is finally clearing up.
Every rental wants paycheck stubs. “I can get the money. I’ll pay the rent.” promissory isn’t sufficient enough even with a good rental record. And you would think after 12 months of not getting paid rent, they would appreciate the money for the next 12 months, but no.
I met a guy, back in 2011, who managed apartment rentals. I met him on AFF when my husband and I were separated. He and I played during my separation and while I was getting divorced. The extra curricular sex was not why my husband and I divorced. This guy from AFF and I played (while) these events occurred. He was never the cause. Be that, he said he had an apartment I could rent from him but I’m not one to mix business with pleasure. Any time money is involved with a lover there’s always potential for disaster, and who needs that under the roof of a 12 month lease. I passed on the apartment. Good thing too. Not long after he offered the rental, he, myself, and a girl he knew had a FMF encounter resulting in disaster. She was not happy sharing him. Any time he tried to touch me, kiss me, or show me the slightest grain of sexual affection, she would yank on his hair, his nipples, or just grab his face and force him to only pay attention to her. Then after an excruciating hour of being naked with them, he went into the shower and she told me straight out, “I’ve known him for a long time. Longer than you. Find your own friends.” From that day on I never returned any of his phone calls or text messages. I never told him what she said to me. I never spoke to him again. He asked what was wrong. He asked what he could do to make things right. But what could I say? Sure, in hindsight I should have told him what she said. Communicate. But this guy wasn’t my boyfriend. We were barely friends. It was what it was. I said nothing. I let it be. The sky didn’t fall. We both moved on with our lives. The world didn’t come to an end. (Until 2020)
So now, I need an apartment. After 2020 no stone can be left unturned. Not even an ex-playmate. I’d like to think two adults can put the past behind us. I have no idea if he still manages buildings or not but he is a stone I need to turn. If I can’t find his email address I’ll actually have to join AFF and other websites he (was) on and see if he’s still around. And he’s not the only one, I know another guy who owns apartment buildings. He and I used to partner up, play, travel, play, swing clubs, etc. He dumped me as a playmate when I let my grey hair grow out. Which is fine. Again, not my boyfriend. Not in love. Still, if I can’t find his email address I’ll have to rejoin these swinger sites just to see if these guys are still on them.
Dread. Dread. Dread.
FEBRUARY 24, 2021
(7:43am)
Drank a bottle of wine and had myself two times last night. This morning I'm making myself avocado toast before I kiss myself goodbye with the promise to call later.
How was your night?
FEBRUARY 23, 2021
(6:03pm)
I've been horny since 4:30am.
That's it. I'm horny. That's the blog.
I was going to rub one out in the shower this morning but I knew I had a very long day ahead. I needed to hang on to my energy. My life force. 😂 Tonight however, the purple jelly dildo comes out.
FEBRUARY 22, 2021
(6:50am)
His name is Joshua Weissman. He takes a little getting used to but he's got 3.7 million subscribers because he's entertaining and he's also right. I'm thrilled that people like him are spotlighting truth about food cost.
Of course we want you to support local businesses, of course we appreciate you, but for people who have been extremely tight on money (like us!) for the past 12 months, it's the responsibility of each industry to put forth helpful insight in times of need, like food cost. We all need food to live. No one should be greedy right now.
When I say things like "I could make six of those meals at home for what you paid just for the one" I'm being very serious about food cost. I cooked this for myself yesterday, potato, sliced orange, Chorizo eggs in a bell pepper bowl. Restaurants would charge between $9.99-$15 depending on location, $16.99 if they add toast (butter and jam). In reality, this breakfast is less than $3.00.
1 orange, pennies
1 potato, pennies
3 eggs, 75 cents maybe
Chorizo sauasage, two long sausages came in a package BUT I only used about (my) index finger length, so 50 cents maybe.
Here's Joshua Weissman showing you how to get more bang for your buck, at home.
As I mentioned he takes a little getting used to, but he's 100% correct.
FEBRUARY 21, 2021
(2:17pm)
Holy shit. DONNIE DARKO! Frank the Bunny is real! Time travel. Here we go! 28 days.
“Goodbye cruel world it’s over. Walk on by.”
(6:59am)
Dear homeowner. The kitchen pantry is for dry food storage like salt and flour... Not for (what you’re using it for). 😜
(6:34am)
I can just hear that dude in San Jose screaming, "I was one number off from 22 million!!" Still, $39,709 is nothing to snub at.
It's so nice being back on the west side. My Capricorn Sea Goat was dying in the valley. There's just nowhere to go there. My friends who live in the valley are raising families. Houses are more affordable even in West Hills and Encino. Plus their houses will get passed down to their kids which is nice. No one will be homeless. Unlike here where even if the kids do have trust funds they're still going to fight like beavers to get their parents houses. Half the homeless in Venice are people who lost their parents house to a sibling. Bob got his parents house in West Hills, his siblings are back on the Ozark mountain writing their memoirs in squirrel blood.
USC wrote me again FFS. At this point I'm just being cyber stalked. I'd rather sell corndogs on the Venice boardwalk than work for such gross incompetence. -- Marina Del Rey end of the boardwalk, not Santa Monica, obviously, let's not get too crazy here. 😏
I want to be a naughty librarian. That would be fun. My long viking hair piled up in a bun. I'd actually wear my glasses on a regular basis. Tight button down white blouse. Sheer nylons held up by a garter belt. Black heels. Black fitted skir... Oh right, I'm not allowed to wear a skirt in the work place anymore. Fuck. Never mind.
The last time I was allowed to wear a skirt to work was back in the 80's when the powers that be were perfectly fine with 17 year old girls wearing fluffy miniskirts to work. Not now. Do girls still wear knee high stockings at Swingers? Probably not. Women aren't encouraged to wear skirts anywhere. 10 steps forward, 500 steps back. Way to progress, Women's Movement.
FEBRUARY 20, 2021
(10:43pm)
She's so beautiful. Old school clean classic beauty.
(9:33pm)
Preach!
(9:20pm)
I miss you bougie trust fund babies. I miss you hard. The only place I went to today that didn't require a $250,000 credit card minimum to walk through the front door was the grocery store although it was a Whole Foods, so, meh, close enough. Luckily for me the other places were in regards to work. God bless the west side. PS. Did I really pay $7 for two sticks of butter? Whole Foods!
(6:02pm)
"I'm in your area this weekend."
Awesome. Where?
"Valencia."
Mmm-hmm. Valencia is over 20 miles from me.
"And Santa Clarita."
Over 20 miles from me.
No one has Google! 😏
(4:31pm)
Can we go to Zinque? Can we go to Zinque? Can we go to Zinque?
They have charcuterie boards, because JARcuterie boards are for children.
(Oh nothing ma, just making friends on the internet!)
(12:45pm)
I can't tell if that's her butt or breasts, or if it's her ass or his. Y'all need better pictures. My vision isn't that bad.
FEBRUARY 19, 2021
(10:02pm)
So much Karen, so little hair bleach.
According to Wiki she's 46. Menopause effects women in different wa... Well "certain women" in the exact same nutjob batshit crazy way. KAREN!
(8:24pm)
Mumbler!!!
(7:47pm)
You mean besides the 58,000 who come here? That said...
Flavor is everything when it comes to beef. You could say that about everything I suppose but more so with beef. After a certain age there are no nutritional properties (a basic multi vitamin can't do) unless you're hulking up to be a football player.
Now you're catching on what a ripoff the beef industry is. What you paid for that one bowl of soup, for that little amount of beef, I could have made a half dozen bowls of soup. You're paying for flavor the way Los Angelenos pay ridiculous amounts of rent for awesome weather. It does look good though.
Whoooo!
(7:09am)
They lowered the age of menopause? Gee, not on my account I hope. I first read it was 56. And now I'm reading menopause starts at 52, which is me. Last year I had my period maybe 5 times. I gained 10 pounds on top of my pandemic weight, now losing all of it. I'm painfully hot from 11pm-4am. I don't sleep. I have vaginal dryness (TMI? Too bad, it's my blog) you can discuss your erectile dysfunctions on your blog. Additionally my hormones are out of control. When I'm horny, I need sex NOW. When I'm not, (even after Covid) stay 12 feet back!
"Don't you mean 6 feet back."
You heard me!
I think it's interesting how little men care these days about wearing condoms, being tested, and risking getting an STI's. "I'm not afraid." Y'all know infections aren't limited to just the two main parties right? Insist she gets tested before sex. You too! INSIST on it! If you're so horny you can't wait three days for a test result, I don't want to fuck you anymore. 😝 I assume everyone eager to fuck has VD until you prove me otherwise.
I wish I wasn't so put off by younger men. They're far more sexually responsible it seems then men my age.
(4:31am)
Everything she's eating. Yum!
FEBRUARY 18, 2021
(12:53pm)
Oh. Hey. Um. 🤫
(12:43pm)
When even the wealthiest man on earth doesn't own bitcoin. He's got a foundation for Polio that reportedly went out in 1979, but not a single dollar invested in bitcoin.
(12:36pm)
Um. Remember when I blogged back in July (in the year we do not speak of) joking about Bitcoin? 🤔
That wasn’t a joke so much as it was screaming sarcasm towards the people who bought stock in Bitcoin.
Because, well, you know.
(12:08pm)
Girrrrrrrl, you have to explain shit to (some) people like they don’t have Google on their cell phones. 🙄
(12:00pm)
The HOT FAT CHICK is the name of a real sandwich from Fat Sal’s deli in Westwood, you inexcusable moron.
He’s Fat Sal, so his sandwiches all start with Fat-(sandwich)name like:
The Fat Banh Mi-Ki 😘
(10:01am)
Spicy Sriracha sauce baby. Mmmm.
Apparently my foodie "Fat Hot Chick" post on IG ruffled a few feathers. Which part? Fat, Hot, or Chick? Have you ever had a Fat Hot Chick from Fat Sal's deli?
Did you see you the picture?
Do you need to see it again?
It's got hot Cheetos on it!!
And for the record, I have had a fat hot chick in bed before. Although I wouldn't call her fat. I've seen fat. I'm from the Midwest, girl. I've seen fat. I tried getting Michael into a three-way with her and HE said no and called her fat. But she was beautiful, stylish, fun, and she carried her extra weight well. And by "well" I mean she had some seriously sexy swinging knockers D's. That, and, what happened to "fat bottom girls make the rockin' world go 'round"... Was that all a lie, fellas? Rock 'n roll doesn't lie! The a-holes behind the instruments, they lie, but not rock 'n roll!
Point is, I like women to have some meat on their bones, and boobs.
What was I talking about?
The only thing missing from this sandwich is melted cheese.
AmIRight? GOOEY CHEESY GOOEY GOODNESS
And
It seems Bob is having some kind of medical situation. Doctors don't know what it is. It's not Covid. It's not food poisoning. It's not the flu. Just once I wish someone who graduated college would be able to give me a straight answer regarding a matter in their professional field.
Just once.
PS. This is why you don't buy your idiot kid's way into college.
(7:19am)
So we're not getting a $1,400 stimulus? It's been dropped to $600? with the state of CA adding $600? um. 😏 I just want to go back to work FFS.
And speaking of work. Last Friday morning, after my second zoom interview with USC hiring manager, she told me I had the job. "I'm going to tell HR to go ahead and process you. See you on campus!" Was the last thing she said to me. Then Tuesday afternoon I get an email from the first guy who interviewed me for the job which read along the lines of, "We're still considering your application. We'll let you know what we decide by the end of the week." WTseriousF!! And it's been like this with USC since I first applied last January 26th when I got back into town. So yesterday, after I renewed one of my industry work certificates that had expired, I applied for a position just now at UCLA, who are reportedly one of the top 5 employers hiring right now.
You know, we would all love to get back to work, if the people doing the hiring actually knew what was going on. Holy shit.
Anyway
I am quickly reminded how not all of Bob's quirks are cute and adorable. Like his never having owned a computer, or cell phone (until I made him buy one in 2017 and only then he bought a 1996 flip phone! I didn't know they still made those!) Of course he never bothered learning how to use it, or even bothers turning it on. And he's mad as fuck for paying $10 a month service fee for something he never uses or turns on. Never mind the fact he could cancel his service any time he wants because he's an actual grown up adult. But no, Bob is a complainer, so he complains, loudly, everywhere.
Every time Bob calls me, I can only return his call via leaving a message on his home phone, or email (that I finally taught him how to use in 2018) and only then if he bothers checking his answering machine and email.
Christ
I just can't.
Bob would be absolutely perfect for me except for the fact his Arcadian nature is the result of not growing with the rest of the world since 1960-something. Simplicity is endearing when it's a choice, not because you're angry with the world for moving forward. The inside of his house freaked me out. It was perfectly preserved to when he lived with his mom as a little boy. As soon as I walked in I was like, this is exactly how the beginning of (horror film) House Of Wax started! I got the F out.
He's not a bad guy. He really isn't. He's just a boy who was forced to come down from the Ozark Mountains in the 60's.
Be that, I'm out of isolated quarantine and leaving the valley tomorrow. I'm headed west (L.A.) where my Capricorn Sea Goat can mingle among the bougie and being depraved costs you a pretty shiny penny.
FEBRUARY 17, 2021
(7:45pm)
Welp.
(3:08pm)
Spent three hours getting re-certified for (potential) work. My cert expired last year. I let it go for the last eight months because of Covid. Thankfully I don’t have to renew it again for another three years. I hate taking tests. I’ve taken this particular test a number of times but there’s always that test-stress of not passing even though I repeatedly do. There’s always a first!
What’s worse is, out of the blue, randomly, suddenly, I got extremely horny while taking the online course! WTF menopause?! I didn’t want to stop the course just to rub one out. I needed the edge to pass the test!
Ladies, find you a lover who looks at you the same way I look at a Fat Hot Chick from Fat Sal’s.
Fat Sal’s Deli, that is.
Mmm, Fat Hot Chick 😋
She’s got hot Cheetos! Omg she gets me excited.
FEBRUARY, 16, 2021
(12:48pm)
Reading my emails:
(7:03am)
Nope. Just. Nope.
(6:30am)
I get to see inside Bob's house today!! I get to see inside Bob's house today!! I'm so excited!! I've been clapping non-stop like a cymbal banging monkey toy. I should explain. I've known Bob since 2014. Started hanging out with him in 2018 2017. He's seen the inside of my apartment, but I have never seen the inside of his house. I didn't even know where he lived until two days ago! He's so odd. I love it.
"I have an extensive porn collection. Hope that doesn't offend you."
Darling, at 52 years old, consenting adults, sans poo, I have yet to reach a limit of my sexual threshold. Wait, what kind of porn? 😝 Challenge accepted!
Anyway, point being, I get to see inside Bob's house today!! I'm so excited!!
He said he has a retro pink guest bathtub that came with the house, I'm so shooting photos in that! I'm dying to see his kitchen. He doesn't cook. He eats Asian food every day which is why he's so lean. What does he have in his kitchen then? Omg I'm so excited!! 5pm won't come soon enough!!
FEBRUARY 15, 2021
(4:21pm)
The "cannibal cop" John Mulaney is referring to is Gilberto Valle, who said cannibalism was just a fantasy. I clearly have different fantasies than that guy.
(3:55pm)
Whaaat? He's a horrible human being?? Why that's just shocking.
(12:35pm)
Bell Canyon Park. That's the one he took me to yesterday. The park with two mansions on the hill.
(8:07am)
Hmm. Flattered people like my legs but, my best physical feature?? No.
5'2 and all torso.
I wish I was a hottie with the body, but I'm a face and hair, girl. Always have been. Unfortunately no one likes my natural grey hair. As if little grey haired ladies don't shampoo, condition, or style their hair? And I have giant ever growing mole on my nose. I'm lucky Bob wants to date me. LUCKY.
(7:26am)
I totally see why you stay there. I mean. 😏 Why leave??
(7:11am)
If Republicans want me to vote for them ever again they better find the JFK of Republicans. If Trump is all you got, pass! I demand a candidate who doesn't ask questions like, "Do we own Finland?" and thinks the Gulf war happened in Vietnam.
"Melania disengaged from husband..." So what. She's just as useless as him. She held the most powerful office a woman could have and did (nothing!) while in it. Your husband's a moron but even you thought it was OK to lock children up in cages. Was the cannibal witch the good guy in your children storybooks?
Anyway, Bob is an old fashion kind of fella. He showed up at my door with beautiful roses, card, perfume, stockings, garter belt, and wine. Very 1950's. I absolutely love that. We picked up our dinner and brought it back to my room. Later in the day we took a drive to the Cave of Munits, watched sun set, and had a very nice talk about what happened to us back in 2017, and in 2018. I knew he was mourning the passing of his wife back then. And I'm now satisfied enough time has past he could possibly have a sincere dating relationship, and serious girlfriend. "I love your boudoir photos. Keep doing it if it makes you happy." He said. *swooon!*
After we watched the sun set I made him drive me past his house. The reason being is he's SO defiant about letting me see the inside of his house. It's funny.
"I'm a bachelor. I don't clean my house like I should." He said. And he does have a big house plus a full time job, and he's a guy. I get it. But how horrible can it be? Has he never considered getting a cleaning lady? She could come twice a month, you'd be employing someone, a couple hundred dollars per visit, or you could let me clean it with the agreement that I get rearrange your kitchen to my prep cooking satisfaction. Meaning I want to cook in your kitchen for you, for us.
"No, I'll clean my house this week. Come over later in the week, OK?" He said to pacify me.
Fine. But now I think you're a cannibal.
FEBRUARY 14, 2021
(9:21am)
Biden, democrat
Harris, democrat
Leahy, democrat
Pelosi, democrat
There wouldn't be a Republican in the White House for the remainder of your life.
Those idiots were taunting the Republican Vice President. FFS!
(8:57am)
The Republicans are now stuck between a rock and a hard place. On one hand they know they lost the moderate conservative vote obviously. Biden won. To gain the votes back they need a candidate who is going to say openly that Trump's a disgrace, a horrible human being, etc., but on the other hand, only Trump can control the mob he created, and control them barely at that. Barely.
I said it before, Trump didn't have the numbers. It was a logistical fact.
Lindsey Graham is afraid. And he should be. Look what his Republican party has been turned into. He's afraid of Trump, He's afraid of Trump's mob, he's afraid of the higher powers that be, and quite possibly he may even be afraid of God. It's a very bad place he's in. And he thinks if he punishes the citizens of our country by letting them starve -- Trump's mob will be the least of his worries. He won't have a Republican in the White House until his grand-kids are old enough to collect social security. Lindsey Graham is in a very bad place.
Something about giving a man enough rope?
(7:40am)
Had that orange idiot been impeached he would have lost his secret service security detail. (Think about that for a minute.)
(6:36am)
On this Valentines Day, a day of honoring martyrs as Saints both named Valentine, I pose two questions for you scholars, philosophers, and poets...
1. Why does the Catholic church honor one Saint a martyr when it's been documented that Priest secretly married gay couples?
"Times were different then."
No. I don't accept that answer. Times are different now. They will always be different.
2. In alternative lifestyles where couples (some presumably "madly in love") who engage in casual sex outside the relationship, do they really know "there's a difference between sex and love"?
Do they? Do they really?
I know three men off the top of my head who have fallen madly in love with women, repeatedly, but eventually dumped the women for not engaging in fantasy sex with others outside the relationship.
Do those men know the difference between sex and love?
I've only ever been truly "madly in love" once. The first time. I loved him hard. I was 20 years old. Never been in love before. Calf love. He was 30 years old and still in love with a woman who no longer wanted him. Love stinks. Yeah yeah.
Love isn't meant to be beautiful on Valentines Day. These Valentines became Saints by the Catholic church because they were wrongly murdered.... "executed".
And who among you now would die for love? Who among you would burn to death, drown to death, be beaten to death, all for love? Hands? I mean, besides gay people, people of color, and people of mixed racial ethnicity.
Anyone?
FEBRUARY 13, 20201
(7:55pm)
Not today boys & girls. 1979.
1981. Back when MTV played music videos. Not today.
Not today.
(7:26pm)
Nope. Some girl who calls herself Twilight. 🤷🏼♀️
I didn’t think it was Veronica Wang. She’s really pretty and shows her face. I always think eaters who don’t show their face are what we call radio-pretty. 😉
(6:01pm)
Veronica Wang?
(2:16pm)
The return of Bob Gordon. He called me this morning while I was at the laundry mat. I didn't want a Valentines Day date but now I have one. And he eats Asian food. OMG I'm going to cry big tears. 😭
A job AND a date. Whoa. Plus he supports my cooking, art, knitting, and my having a job.
😲
(8:15am)
I'm not gay. I'm lesbian specific. Very specific. Hyper specific.
For one, dark hair.
Two, boobs!
Three, natural looking.
Four, no tattoos.
If more women looked like this, I would be gay. Gayer than plaid suits on a unicorn GAY!!
*I have giant ugly tattoos because I was once an emotional cutter. Girls with tattoos were/are emotional cutters.
(sigh)
Crystal Rae, right? I lust her hard. I saw her in one porn and that was it. All over.
(Actress) Kristin Kreuk. Who is also made of unicorn magic. She's almost 40 years old. I love her in red lipstick and nails. I'm so 80's.
And of course my ultimate fantasy girl. I don't know who she is. She's definitely from the 70's or early 80's based on her hair and breast enhancement. But I would have loved her anytime every time.
(7:38am)
It bothered me in the 80's. It bothers me still. The word is pronounced ASK. A.S.K. ASK. It's not a racist thing. It's a third grade level pronounce the simple three letter word correctly thing. No one should be allowed to get a job (anywhere) if they cannot pronounce the word ASK.
FEBRUARY 12, 2021
(8:48pm)
Mm-hm OK Chef Gabe. I want to see you surf with that ice soy latte in your hand. 😜😂 #legit
(5:55pm)
Love love love this guy. Thank you Aramis for turning me on to him!
(5:48pm)
Getting together now will take a little work. We’ll schedule rapid COVID tests together and remain in our masked 😷😷 bubble until we get the results. It’s this or nothing. I can’t be sent home from work. Period.
(5:45pm)
Who is this evil genius with the deep fried kielbasa? 🤯
(4:31pm)
Whooooo! Who nailed their USC zoom call? THIS GIRL.
Relief. I can go back to just being a hot vanilla chick that hates sex. YES. I'm saved!
I was so worried the hiring manager was going to be all uptight and uncool. But she was awesome. I never laughed so much in an interview ever. Cashing in some good Karma.
Apparently I have a new (GP) doctor and no one felt the need to tell me? Whyyyy? The earliest my new GP could see me was MARCH 18. I mean. FFS. All doctors appointments are done now by email and zoom. Must put a whole new spin on OBGYN appointments. Welcome to my world!
Thank you walk-in labs that will test for anything if you have the cash. I'm glad some people understand when you have a hot pilot friend you're dying to "reconnect" with and cannot wait until MARCH 18 to make sure Thundercats Are Go!
Back into isolation. I get Covid tested once a week for work. If I get a fever or Covid, I don't work. I've struggled enough. I want to work. 6 feet back!
It'll take another week at least before my hiring is official. Now comes HR background checks, etc. ... Getting a job in this climate is miserable. MISERABLE! So far I've invested 2 1/2 weeks into getting this job. It'll be at least another week before I hear from their HR Dept.
If you're receiving unemployment just relax with it.
I worked my ass off to get this job. By the time I start my first day, a month will probably have gone by total.
Nothing is happening any time soon.
(8:15am)
"Outrage!" When people say they don't read your blog but then email you every chance they get to tell you things like, "They're not Quakers, they're Mennonites."
Fantastic. Thanks. I was going to kill myself but I think I'll give myself another chance.
(7:28am)
Took the metro out to Avingnon. Man at the backstage, didn't know my name. Said hey, I'm with the band! "You and everyone today." What is this guy new?
(7:01am)
Watching (film) White Oleander. Great movie. Waiting for the lab to open. Blood test. Covid test. Again. Again. Again. Get me out of here. Off this planet. It's doomed.
Gonna hang out in West Highland few days. I'll be right under all the parks. Right under the mountain.
USC interview at 11:30am. Should I even bother doing my hair? I mean.
(2:35am)
I woke up with muchies. Ate a bowl of cereal and saw my girl BOKI's new video.
This is what they have in Korean convenience stores. Amazing. The food is just amazing. Even in convenience stores. Including the ramen. Whereas American convenience store food is mostly processed cholesterol held together by salt and sugar. Makes me sad. Healthy food isn't expensive. It's really not. This country is all about making money on keeping you awake with caffeine, and working out. Ever wonder why people are thin in almost every other country but this one?
Even the eaters on Youtube, while they may consume large amounts of what they eat, look at what they're eating. In between their meals are 24 hour fastings, juicings, green tea, vitamins, being physically active. At 52, I am more aware of every pound gained than ever before.
Onigirazu! C'mon!
FEBRUARY 11, 2021
(10:00am)
So a guy who looks like this doesn’t know how to treat women? Shocking.
(6:32am)
She irritates me to NO END also, however...
(5:13am)
I forgot my pin number. I tried 10 different ways from Sunday but I could not remember my pin number. I remembered it when I got back to my room of course. Early onslaught of Alzheimer's. That panic. That fade away from the world internalized panic.
*You can speed up podcasts so everyone sound like chipmunks. Whyyy?
I was looking at the cities directly underneath Big Bear and I'm considering moving to San Bernardino/West Highlands areas. I'll go a few days and give it a try. Big Bear is so expensive. I've only stopped in San Bernardino on my way to and from Vegas. I've never really stayed. From there Big Bear in only 2 1/2 hours up the hill on their mountain transit, a bird's eye view going down the mountain of people who will eventually be on the 5:00 news in an inevitable ten car pileup only then concluding, "Welp we shoulda bought snow tires."
I guess I should shower. People seem to like it when I do.
FEBRUARY 10, 2021
(8:00pm)
Ooooh! I had the speed turned up on Podcast. I had no idea you could turn the speed up! Shit. Why the F would you want to hear them talk that fast? 😂
Regardless, I advise you to listen to Father Mike read the Bible with the speed up a notch. I mean it’s a pretty long book in case you didn’t know.
(6:12pm)
Oh shit. Larry Flynt died. I really wish I could have met him. I tried getting a job with Flynt Publication circa 1998'ish. I think I still have the rejection letter. 😂
(6:08pm)
I don't know if I could tear into it like she is. If I had a few hours, probably. I absolutely love (real) fish and chips. Where can I get this platter in the U.S.?
(2:35pm)
Every time they say “Cardassians” I hear “Kardashians” which makes Star Trek that much more enjoyable.
Fast-forward to 2:37 in. God damn Kardashians. 😂
(2:28pm)
Perhaps this is why we never hooked up. 🤔🤨
(9:25am)
Tattoos are nothing more than emotional cutting.
Christine is the only woman I've ever known who didn't have tattoos. I haven't seen Christine since 2014 or 2015. We had a few glasses of wine at Farmers Market off Fairfax one morning. Haven't seen her since. She deleted her FB page around the same time I did, I guess. And then when I came back, she was still gone.
The first time Christine saw my ink she said, "You must have been in a lot of pain when you got those tattoos." But I merely shrugged her off. Christine was a heroin junkie back then. I snorted bags of coke and was drunk every day by 2pm (for many years, so) nothing anyone said back in those days really mattered to me. But she was right. Women who get tattoos are just emotional cutters. Some make their pain artful, some make music, some fuck the pain away, but don't doubt for a second that paying a guy to rip into your flesh with a needle and ink is anything different than allowing some guy to lash your arm with a needle full of of heroin. We're both cutters. Plain and simple.
I miss my old body.
Do you miss yours?
(7:02am)
I feel the same way about Valentines Day as I do the Superbowl. The last Valentines Day I celebrated was February, 2003, when my then boyfriend proposed, which was also the last year I tried suffering through a football game, with him, and I'm done with all three. No football. No Valentines Day. No husband.
I used to not understand why my brother waited 30+ years to get married again. I get it now. It's been 9 years since my ex-husband and I split for good and I am none closer to being in love with anyone.
My brothers and I are from the latch-key generation. Kids had their own set of keys by 5th grade. You never saw your parents. You never knew where they were. They never knew where you were. Nobody cared. This was the way. Everything my brothers, my friends, the town kids, learned in life up until we were 18 years old, aside from school, we learned by just doing, including sex.
Sex education in junior high school was taught by our 40 year old gym teacher who was just biding his time at my school until he got his dream job as a college coach somewhere, and the class pretty much consisted of slides of aborted fetuses. I will never, ever, ever, get the images of aborted fetuses out of my head. They're in the brain-vault. And they're staying there until the day I die. The town I grew up in was heavily religious be them (mostly) Lutheran, Catholic, Amish, Quakers, Presbyterian, (whatever), heavily religious. God was a thing and this is why you're going to hell if you have an abortion. Look at it! Next slide! I was afraid of sex for yeeears. Until I was 17, I considered being a nun. "Mission complete." And then, just before my 20th birthday, something magical happened, I moved to San Francisco. And life was never the same again. Like my dad, born and raised in Utah, Mormon of course, went into the Air Force, and came out a charlatan.
What was that reality TV show where the Mormon kids go out into the world to decide if they want to be Mormons? I tried looking it up but there's a lot of TV shows about Mormons. I wonder if my dad and I made the mistake of leaving home when we were teenagers.
As an adult, I like the philosophies of Buddhism, which are very similar to Amish and Quakers: a life of simplicity, living off the land, no electricity, farmers, Peace Churches, pioneers, etc. I am year of the Rooster after all, and a Capricorn, if you believe in such things. This is my nature.
None of this is real to me anymore.
Like all those before me, I have to go "into the prairie" during the spring and prepare for winter. Not go during the winter and prepare for spring. That was stupid on my part. I should have known better.
Come April I'll leave the city once more. Go up into the mountains maybe?
FEBRUARY 9, 2021
(8:14pm)
“What’s your first and last name, and email address, and I’ll Zelle pay you.”
Are you fucking serious?
Hey. Yeah no. Here’s my business PayPal account.
🙄
(5:18pm)
Everything BOKI is eating here. So good. I love dumplings and hotpot. Yum.
(3:53pm)
Are you a clam guy or a butterfly guy? I have a butterfly.
And here's the link:
https://onlyfans.com/106917500/matronladygrey
(9:54am)
When you so fat even your stunt double taps out.
(9:21am)
Masturbating and pee. Gotcha. It just turned into a busy day.
Aramis, I need a time machine. Because I need these women in my life somehow.
Gorgeous! 😛 Wow. Remember when women were this hot? Me neither.
Especially her. I'm in love with this one. Gorgeous face and body. No stupid tattoos.
I have regrets. My tattoos for one. I have really nice smooth silky skin. I fucked it up with tattoos. Ladies, stop getting tattoos. They're ugly. Look how beautiful these women are.
(8:24am)
Adventures with water-pee! I'm not a cameraman or a professional photographer. I just have an eye and know what I like. I have no idea how to video myself peeing. But the guys seem to like it, so. Peeing? Squirting? Peeing? Squirting? Whatever you call it, I'm drinking water until my pee is more filtered than Pure. There's a certain bass player I hung out with for a few months that was into getting peed on. You know who I'm talking about. No, no he's married now and boring. But I knew him when he wasn't. wink wink
My sex drive has made a comeback with a vengeance and that's probably why older women fuck young guys but, I can't. In the last three days I've probably masturbated 10-12 times.
What to do
What to do
No Dale, I'm not too young. I'm made of magic. You ought appreciate that I don't look like a thrift shop vinyl handbag. Many women my age do.
And god said to his draftsman, "Design me a unicorn so rare only the worthy may find her." And then I was born.
(6:46am)
Don't tell me 20 and 30 something guys don't want to fuck their mothers. I get hit on by more 20-somethings in one month than men my own age in the past three years. I don't know what happens to men after the age of 50, if they just lose interest in companionship, friendship, and sex with women, but 20 year old guys are like, "So what if she's old enough to be mother. I'm down!" (I'm not.)
And I get that girls their own age don't want to fuck and suck dick. I mean, I couldn't enough when I was 20, I wanted it all, and I wanted it NOW but from older men who knew what they were doing. Most young girls are not that way. They're raised to be ladies (if they have at least one decent parent) and so they brush off these horny young guys. Be that, if you're 20 or 30 years old fellas, you're just going to get a link to my onlyfans page. If I could fuck 20 something year old guys without vomiting, I could probably make a small fortune.
I didn't watch the news at all yesterday and it was bliss. The day went by pretty fast. This morning I'm ripping the bandage off. See which white woman lost her goddamn mind. See what state an officer murdered an unarmed black man. You know, the usual grime. And maybe tomorrow morning Aramis and I will do a sunrise photoshoot.
It's no coincidence IDIOCRACY was recently on HBO.
And just a reminder, it's a movie. Not a how-to guide.
FEBRUARY 8, 2021
(10:04pm)
Did I already know Mary Kay Letourneau died last year? Maybe?
(6:48pm)
All my settings are private on my onlyfans. I don't kiss and tell, I don't share information, I think anyone who needs to know your business are the same people who will go through all your shit thee moment you begin to trust them. Fuck those people. Scumbags. Everything is private. I promise.
And
Hey boys and girls, never read the Bible? Well smoking hot Father Mike (Schmitz) has a podcast where he reads the Bible in Podcast speed. Is there a reason people talk so fast on Podcasts? He reads the Bible in grease lightning speed! Him and Robe Lowe are two fastest talkers I have ever heard. Imagine if he talked at that speed all the time. Dirty talk during sex? That would be hilarious! -- Rob Lowe. Not Father Mike.
(4:12pm)
I love my friends.
(8:18am)
I'm on these job sites and get emails every now and then from employers who want me to apply which I'm happy to do, but more often than not I receive emails that have requirements like:
- Lift and move up to 80 lbs
Um. How often? I have a freaky weird strong back but I'm 52 now and injuries occur. I injured my wrist pulling a suitcase out of a car last mid December, and it's still injured. I have a brace but it's my right hand. I can't move around with a bulking brace on my wrist. How do people with a broken arm... ? Sure you have to adjust but I don't have time. Well, actually no I do. LA is so super chill, no one does anything in a hurry here. People have all the time in the world. "How about March 12? That's the earliest I can do." -- March 12? I reserved it. If that's the best you can do, and I made that phone call back in January. March 12th. Fuck me. I'll explain what I'm talking about on March 13th, as I'm probably going to need to get the previous day's events off my chest.
A friend of mine suggested I get a professional masseuse license. He said all last year that was the one constant him and his wife kept, the masseuse. They had to give up the hairdresser and housekeeper among other things, tightening their belts, but they kept the masseuse to lower their stress. At 52 years of age I have to change professions because apparently Covid, as now being predicted, will last another year. I'm not bitter watching my food truck roll away from me, I'm heartbroken. I'm to the ground heartbroken. No one will loan new business ventures now and certainly not in the food industry, a shaky start up business bet to begin with. I'm crushed.
Aramis and I have been going back and forth brainstorming creative endeavors but with his surgeries and lengthy recovery time, I just don't know. I'm crushed.
Chef Cyn's husband was saying he was shocked Cyn didn't go out and get another job. Unless you're in our industry you're not going to understand the shell-shock of an entire industry crushed by Covid. Even the restaurants that are open are operating on a three manned staff, one of which is the owner.
Here's a little FYI for you non industry people, places like In and Out burger, McDonalds, IHOP, Denny's, any chain restaurant, your online application more often than not, goes to a third party not involved with the restaurants directly, and not industry people. They're office people sitting behind a computer screen using their best judgement whether or not your application should be forwarded to the restaurant you're applying for. That's why you have to apply to each restaurant location individually because chances are it's not going to be the same person receiving your application even if applied to two different location back-to-back. One operator will get the first application, another operator will get the second one. Only singular food and drink locations have actual walk-in paper applications. But even then they're going to want you to apply online if they have a website.
AND
I'm all for buying American. BUY AMERICAN, AMERICA FOREVER but keep in mind Los Angeles survives on tourism and commerce from other countries. And not just Los Angeles, America needs commerce from other countries. That's how America got so wealthy to begin with. That's why it's called political diplomacy. "I may not suck your dick now but maybe in the future if you play your cards right?" WINK WINK. Commerce.
Anyway
I shot three hours of pics yesterday. I'm debating which ones to post.
Setting up the camera here:
FEBRUARY 7, 2021
(3:23pm)
They don't make charcuterie boards anymore. They make JARcuterie now. Which doesn't make sense to me. If you're willing to pull your mask down to eat with someone, how is it any more dangerous to grab food off the same board?
"More for catering"
OK, same question applies. If there are 4 people at one table, is everything individually wrapped? Bread baskets, individually wrapped? What about wine? Glasses of water? You know there is no scientific proof that you can catch Covid from food. It's a virus. It requires a living breathing host.
Whatever. You do you.
I'm gonna shoot pictures of my vag for the internet.
(7:31am)
Women who shot smut back in the 50’s and 60’s all seem to have the same body type.
This:
Which is great. I like it. I like boobs. I love this model’s body. I’m a fan of young natural big breasts. As you get older however, if you’re going to continue shooting smut, you’ll need a boob lift. No one wants to see a 40 year old woman with natural boobs sagging two inches above her belly button.
I don’t know what year women started shaving off their muffs but it’s the best thing to ever happen to erotic photography.
I didn’t want to go the onlyfans route. I’m old. But like my Hollywood godfather said, do both. Do everything. Just hustle. If you can make money here or there, make money. And I definitely need to make money. Fortunately for me I held up pretty decent. And since I hate football, I’ll just be shooting pics of my junk and posting it online. Some things never change.
Me watching CONCUSSION last night:
Got out just in time.
No one floats down here. Not in Minnesota.
FEBRUARY 6, 2021
(6:54pm)
Watching (movie) CONCUSSION. Really good.
And surfing retro erotica. The women all had the same body type back then. Was that the trend? Lets try some of their moves.
(10:07am)
I've been out of the game for so long I don't even know what that is? It's a hallowed out 12 inch dildo, and a guy sticks his whatever size erection into it, and the dildo has a hole on the tip to still ejaculate out of? Really? How does he even cum with that two inch rubber thing all the way around his dick?
I'm confused.
Can we please just hold hands?
(9:34am)
Looking for love in all the wrong plaaaaaces.
I'm Looking for
Man, 55 – 75 years old
My ideal partner can laugh about most things. He's a great communicator. Possibly creative. Loves to cook or at least loves to eat, mostly healthy. Drinks wine or doesn't mind if I do. Please eat fish and seafood, this is actually important to me. It's perfectly OK to be a naughty boy from time to time with sweets and pie, all things in moderation. He is possibly semi retired just as long as he has time for me, for us. If you enjoy the outdoors, I'm your girl. In this challenging time we can hopefully find a way to keep communication going. That is most important to me. And if he has a creative edge, even better! I'm looking for a real partnership.
Goddamn I have a big forehead.
Two Asian men wrote to ask if they could take me shopping. Yeah sure. Why not.
Not trying to be sexy. I fell. And couldn't get back up. Although my hair got a little Brigitte Bardot. I'm not mad. Retro just short of full on muff. Yep. I still shave it all off down there.
(8:59am)
A wise man once said you will find everything you're looking for, but the one thing you really want.
Always. Story of my life.
I hate football. I absolutely will not watch an entire game. I'll host the party and cook, but I won't watch the game. I just don't care. In other words, I'll be streaming movies and shooting content for my onlyfans page. Good lord. This is what my weekends have been reduced down to.
😀😂😅😐😒😓😢😣😥😧😨😩😭
FEBRUARY 5, 2021
(8:59pm)
5 - 0, VGK are just destroying the Kings. Why am I still watching this game?
(5:28pm)
Yep! 👍🏻
(5:15pm)
For the past three hours all I’ve been doing is maneuvering around my onlyfans page. I’m like Aramis signing up for Zelle, “FFS what the hell? How do I... WTF?!”
😂
Cyn is like, “You know you can charge as much as $49.99 per membership to see pussy pics, right?”
Yes I know but...
Um
No
Not gonna.
That said...
(9:48am)
Wow. Speedy fast. Thank you. 💋
(8:01am)
I went to sleep around 2am. Got up around 5:30am. Went for a walk. Contemplated throwing myself under a bus. No cars or buses came by. Just a guy on bicycle. At best I might bruise a knee so I didn't bother.
I've become so uncivilized I don't use cups anymore. I just puncture a hole and drink straight from the container. Fuck it. I'd like to apologize in advance to whomever takes me out to dinner next (whenever) I don't use utensils anymore either. The last time I ate with a fork was October. I mean, I eat Asian food with chopsticks and a rice/soup spoon, but anything that requires a fork and knife is eaten over the sink or trash container with my fingers.... since last October.
Guess I'll watch the news of "things politicians didn't accomplish yesterday" before jumping in the shower. And by "watch the news" I mean with the volume off while doing my own voice-overs of...
"I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I hate thinking."
"Me too. I'm stupid."
Although they did get rid of that NUTJOB Karen Taylor Greene. So that was good. And then for the next twenty-three hours and thirty minutes they went back to...
"Maybe we should try harder to help homeless people?"
"Did you say raise taxes?"
"I sure did!"
"Yay! Lets do that!"
(2:21am)
Nothing special. Just dirty pictures and the stories behind them, or the result of them. I’m not in the porn industry. The every day man might appreciate how a woman like me comes to showing her vag to any men who want to look. Women too I guess? I’m horrible with titles. The name of my page is stupid — the name of this blog was your indication it would be.
Gonna crawl into bed now, hug my stuffed bear, and watch reruns of Beat Bobby Flay.
Good night
🥸
(12:40am)
You won this round Jesus. Well played.
Now if you’ll excuse me I have to post photos on my onlyfans page and then cry myself to sleep.
(12:25am)
Our silverfox.com profiles can be “bitches and hoes seek scum and villainy.”
We need to reopen Scum and Villainy Cantina. It’s a Star Wars theme bar but what a great name.
FEBRUARY 4, 2021
(10:39pm)
Girrrrrrl!! How do women attend his service and not have their jaws on the floor??
I’m dead.
(8:55pm)
Aaaaaand he’s from Minnesota. 🥺 I don’t understand? I just don’t... I don’t understand.
I’m dead. ☠️
(6:17pm)
I’m a Quinquagenarian.
(5:26pm)
He’s a priest, Beth. Father Mike. He has a Podcast!
I don’t understand. I’m just... I don’t understand. Was he really fat once?
(5:12pm)
I tried listening to YouTube girls talk about making money on onlyfans but they talk for 20 minutes and say absolutely nothing. I’m just doing it.
(4:09pm)
My hair color confuses Them. They look at my face, then my hair, then my face, then at my hair again. I usually don’t get carded anymore.
(4:01pm)
He carded me. Yep. He sure did. I’m made of magic Beth, that’s why!
(7:59am)
Holy shit. I mean, not holy shit. He really is a priest. WHY?! WHY?! ... WHY?!
My hormones have been raging hard and slamming against my thighs for the past three days and I can’t even have a glimmer of hope that you’re a naughty boy?
I don’t understand??
I really
I just
WHY?!
(7:52am)
Fixed it.
He is way too hot. So unfair.
I’m going to hell.
(7:40am)
My friends don’t want me doing onlyfans. Maybe I’ll just clean houses.
I really am the Olivia among my friends in (film) Friends With Money.
🤬
(7:20am)
I have pictures. A lot of pictures. And videos. I have had a lot of time on my hands. Maybe I can make $2.
52 year old vag 😖
(6:32am)
What?! So unfair. If there’s a hell I’m going to it.
(5:20am)
These are jobs that were listed on a 2021 job post.
What am I doing? What’s the point?
(5:15am)
Is it too early to start drinking?
(5:12am)
Going through this job list is depressing AF. Many of these restaurants are now permanently closed because of Covid.
(4:53am)
I've actually been up since 3am. If I get up to pee anywhere from 3am-5am I'm up. It drives me crazy. And there's really nothing to do at this hour but job hunt. Which is all I've been doing. And watching the news.
Why would anyone pay $170 a night to stay at The Ice Hotel in Sweden? The whole country is an ice hotel right now. It's called camping. And you can do it for free. It's why so many Swedes move to MN. It's 28 degrees in MN right now and snowing. 21 degrees in Sweden.
I really want to work in an Asian restaurant. I want to learn how to cook Asian food. I can cook some. I would learn faster working in an Asian restaurant. Alas, Asians hate me. Especially Koreans. They've hated me all my life. Talk shit behind my back in Korean. You know. I'm American.
I actually applied at 5 GUYS last night. I love their burgers. I can work anywhere if I love the food.
OK 101 Asian Kitchen INC., you're listed on the EDD labor board, lets rock.
FEBRUARY 3, 2021
(7:38pm)
I think Jeopardy might be dumbing down their questions. I actually knew the answers to about half the questions.
(12:41pm)
I am saddened that a place called Scum and Villainy Cantina, is closed. I need some Scum and Villainy right now. USC just emailed me again and moved the interview date from the 10th to the 12th. And it's my understanding that my girlfriend and the woman doing the hiring for my position had no love loss when my friend left USC. I don't want to say this is why I don't like women in hiring positions but, women are women. And women hate women. So if a woman doesn't like Betty, she's not going to like Betty's friend either, regardless if they met or not.
But we'll see.
Scum and Villainy unite!
(8:33am)
The smartest living man in politics is Paul Ryan. "What's that? A pandemic? And that orange moron took money from FEMA and disbanded the pandemic team in 2016 to fund his wall. Yep. I'm out."
And then...
January, 2019, Ryan, the smartest living man in politics, got the F out. He knew Trump was going to sink the country. He knew. Could Trump prevent the pandemic from coming? No. Probably not. BUT he could have read briefings, followed the advice of former presidents WHO TOLD HIM when he took office, "Hey look, just a heads up, we received some intelligence that China..."
Aaaand maybe not disband the pandemic team, yes?
Had Romney/Ryan won back in 2012, Biden would not be president today. Old school conservatives like myself would have voted Republican in 2016 (and 2020). Because both of those guys, in addition to all their idiotic foibles, are still old school conservatives. Their weight would have carried. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. Be that, American issues under Trump vs. American issues under Romney is like... 447 THOUSAND DEAD AMERICANS vs denying transgenders in the military another eight years. Sorry trans people I'm on your side 100% but if your not being in the military spares 200 THOUSAND lives from Covid because Romney is our president instead of Trump, your asses can wait another eight more years.
And for those people who say "It's ONLY 447 thousand people" translate that into money cash dollar bills and then say "It's ONLY $447,000 dollars" ... People clog the legal system every year across the country for a third of that.
"If you're a Republican, you vote Republican. No matter what!"
WRONG
And
What Republican party? There's Democrats, Independents, and a giant shit show head by a guy who doesn't know where Canada is.
Ben Shapiro tweeted how irresponsible it was to report Trump the winner of the 2020 election, and Republicans got mad at him. Only, see, Ben Shapiro is an educated man. He's the "Facts don't care about your feelings" guy. I agree with a lot of what he says. I disagree with a lot of what he says. When he gets his alt-right jam on I leave, but until then he's interesting to listen to solely because he's educated. He knows you don't vote for someone JUST BECAUSE. I have a specific spit cup for sunflower seed shells JUST BECAUSE. You never vote for someone just because.
What do I mean by Alt-right? Shapiro spent 20 minutes on air reading and criticizing WAP by Cardi B. I certainly hope he's not a Nugent fan. Point is, no Ben Shapiro. Just no. Still, Shapiro is an educated guy. I'll listen to him from time to time.
America needs to invest more in education and graduates.
I blame Trump for the economic and human collapse of 2020, But I blame the Writers Guild of America strike in 2007 for creating reality star assholes like him.
FEBRUARY 2, 2021
(9:07pm)
There’s a huge difference between grocery stores and restaurants. But between the two, working in restaurants is way harder. It’s one thing to sell ingredients, it’s something else entirely to sell finished products. Plus there’s a lot of industry snubbing. You can’t go to a bar on industry night and show the bartender your Ralph’s name tag. You’d get laughed at.
(8:47pm)
I applied to 5 or 6 different Ralph’s grocery stores and was rejected by three of them because I “don’t have enough experience”. 😂 Never mind the fact I have two licenses to sell liquor, and two licenses to handle food, and worked in the selling of food and liquor for... always.
You have to laugh or they win.
My girlfriend just for shits and giggles applied at a few different Taco Bell, and was also rejected even though she was a manager for four years at a Taco Bell while going to college in the late 80’s and early 90’s. 😂
FML
(8:01pm)
We were all hoping to go back to work!
When you devote yourself to an industry, learn every grain of it, be irreplaceable, get almost any job you want, to then one day own something of your own (say) like a food truck, or your own restaurant, and then to have everything you worked so hard for yanked out from under you by no fault of your own, it’s unnatural to wrap your brain around getting a job that pays minimum wage heating frozen burgers under a food lamp.
No job is beneath you except for the ones that are.
I’ve had this conversation 100 times now with chefs, other cooks, kitchen managers, restaurant owners (or they were restaurant owners before the pandemic) and we all said the same thing, first of all, none of us could live on minimum wage. It would take 10 people in a one bedroom apartment to live on minimum wage. Minimum wage isn’t meant for adults. It’s just not. If I was 25 years old I wouldn’t even be out of work. I was never out of work at 25. But at 52 years old it’s a whole other ball game of arthritis, menopause, and vision loss. Mmm sexy.
And then, on top of that, to have the leaders of your country think $1,800 is sufficient compensation for destroying your income for a year ... I mean.
Not all of us got unemployment.
I only know two people who got it, and one was already on it just before the shut in order back in March 2020.
I feel bad for everyone who lost their restaurants. Holy shit. I was [this close] to being among you. Not a restaurant, but the closest to a restaurant I was ever going to get, my food truck. Nonetheless, like you, my dream.
And now people are calling for Newsome’s head. Really? Now? NOW? Now you want to replace him?? Um. Except the two conservatives gunning for CA governor voted for Trump, that fucking useless moron! So yeah Newsome’s going to be holding on to his job a little bit longer.
America 🇺🇸 Once the strongest, wealthiest, most powerful nation on the globe. Where are we now? 20 countries behind Yemen?
*No Yemens were injured in the making of this blog.
Welp. Let’s see what other jobs I can apply for. Anyone need a Historian? I’m not the least bit qualified but I do have the History channel, soooo, maybe?
(6:20pm)
Good lord people. Why are you preventing others from getting the vaccine? If they’re brave enough to get it, let’s see what happens!
I just heard from USC. They’re doing second interviews via zoom now. Fine. Means I don’t have to wear pants. But the interview is not until the 10th. Shit. Nothing moves fast enough in LA. I want a cigarette. And a martini. A cigarette and a martini.
But she’s 25 years old! 😜 I love how no one ages in this town.
FEBRUARY 1, 2021
(6:55am)
Woke up to an email from USC reminding me that my second (in person) interview is this week. As if I could forget how badly I want to go back to work. My journey of unemployment for almost a year has not been fun. My industry took a severe beating resulting in permanent closures across the country. Even when restaurants and bars do open completely who's got the money to restore the industry. It will take a looong time to recover from this. I'm not AT ALL qualified for the USC job. The only thing I have going for me is my wanting to earn a paycheck and that's it. Literally, that's it. I'm not expecting to get hired. But I have to try. The only reason I got the first interview is because my girlfriend worked for USC for over a decade. Not sure if the weight of "who you know" is enough to get hired here. But just know I'll work like a badger for you if you hire me.
I got another email from Charter House (kids group home) wanting me to apply. Another job I'm not AT ALL qualified for but I'll apply. I mean, if the main job description is making sure the kids don't burn the house down at night, or murder each other, then I guess I'm qualified?
My old coworker from VMS now works for a kids group home in Wisconsin. We've talked. I should probably also mention neither Dan or I have children. Our problem solving skills regarding kids would be what you call "innovative".
Be that...
I'm also trying to find housing any way I can. As much as I dread going downtown I might end up living there for a while. I truly dread it. I was going to take a shower this morning but I'm going downtown today, so... I'll be taking that long hot shower when I get back.
I can't thank my friends enough for keeping me alive all this time. I'm just so tired of this. So tired. It's embarrassing how little my country was prepared for this pandemic. The once richest most powerful country in the world... reduced down to government locked doors, overrun capital, and every scientist and doctor shrugging their shoulders while throwing their hands up in the air. It's embarrassing.
And when Trump runs for reelection, which he will, I hope America remembers the devastating loss under his "command". I certainly know I will. I was a lifelong conservative until him and his ridiculous wife. Two of the most useless human beings on the face of the earth.
I'll end my rant. I have things to do. Like fighting for my basic right to have a roof over my head after politicians destroyed my industry I've worked my ass off for since I was 16 years old.
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