Static in the barren wasteland

Dear Nevada Dept of Agriculture, explain to me again which licenses are required to spray pesticides?

The crazy maintenance lady here at my apartment building keeps spraying some kind of poisonous pesticide outside my windows that make my eyes and throat burn. And the heavy way she's spraying it in isolated areas directly outside my windows, in the video I shot of her two hours ago, I don't think she's a professional? I might have to see a doctor if the burning gets any worse. Please contact me. I have questions. Thank you.

Anyway

The original reason for this blog was to post a clearer wip pic of my Ryan drawing.

*WIP, work in progress

Wow, that pesticide is really strong!

Part of me thinks she sprays it because my downstairs neighbor is a Trump loving racist. The maintenance woman is white, and according to my racist neighbor her boyfriend is black, and he can't understand how she can, and I'm quoting here, "Spread her pussy for a black man."

I've been called racist because I've never had sex with a black man. Which is a dumb reason to call someone racist. Be that, I couldn't care less what you do. Doesn't bother me. Fuck off. Consenting adults, etc.

But not him. According to my neighbor, white women BELONG to white men. Gotta love them Trumpsters! Of course women of color are for white men too according to him. 🤨 Just so long as white women don't fuck black men.

Damn crazy honkies.


WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 26, 2020

I want my downstairs neighbor to know he's too old to be a Nazi. Dude would get all tangled up in his sheet, trip, fall, break a knee, find a reason to blame black people, or Mexicans.

He's so racist, and old.

As in ...

"I don't bank or shop online" old.

"I only use the internet for free porn" old.

"Gotta keep Trump in office and women in the kitchen" old.

Damn crazy honky, you know sound carries, right? When you yell into your phone I can hear you upstairs. I know everything about his family in Dallas, the $20 hookers and lifetime crack whores he considers "good pussy", his ex wife and her cats, I know when he's going to walmart to buy eggs and sausages...

He just spent an hour complaining to his brother in Dallas, about women taking away jobs meant for men. When the woman maintenance worker replaced the previous guy who retired from our building, I heard my downstairs neighbor complain, "They couldn't find a male worker?! And she has kids! Go home and raise your kids!"

Why do old men wear knee length shorts and knee high sock? If your legs are cold there's this thing called pants. Check it out sometime.

Adulting is hard for some people. 

Lars and Ryan

Oh my goodness please watch (movie) Lars And The Real Girl. Do you have an Android? It's on Pluto, right now. 

Check out the trailer!

LARS AND THE REAL GIRL

I'll post a cleaner more clear photo of Ryan, soon. Until then here's an updated photo I post on Twitter, today. It's been fun drawing him. I watched Indecent Proposal, last night while drawing so there might be a little Redford in there.

Update: RYAN drawing

Ghost cat, and more Ryan

Greetings from the barren wasteland.

Update on my Ryan drawing. I have to adjust his left cheek and eye.

UPDATE: Ryan drawing

If you want to know why it's taking so long to draw him, in part it's due to the fact he's two feet high. He also has lots of detail which I love. Plus things are just crazy right now.

I'm not even going to get into the drama concerning Buddy the cat, but lets just say -- adoption, animal hospital, transport, carrier, microchip transfer, $775 later... and he still needs a body harness/leash because the one I ordered online according to their size chart, didn't fit.

Poor Sheldon. I'm sorry darling. It's not easy being my friend. You and Aramis should be each other's support group. "Remember that time she adopted that stray cat? Christ. Fuck all. Pass the wine."

Have you met Buddy?

Buddy, rising social media star!

I actually have an illustration idea for Ghost Cat. That's just what I'm calling it for now.

Buddy, as Ghost Cat

If Rob Zombie had made the Adams Family

Ghost cat and his guardian

I started ghost cat, as means to deal with my stress.

Anyway

Yet another presidential campaign shitshow.

Yang (no longer possible unfortunately)
Buttigieg
Biden
Republican

My party is fourth in line. FOURTH. If Democrats truly cared about their party, all the rich old white people, who say they love and support progressive voters, should have stepped aside and supported a progressive candidate, i.e. conservative here, liberal there, forward thinking for the betterment of society, because that's where all the 55 and under voters are, but no. The pre-dementia democratic party screamed, "Fuck that! How stupid!" You guys are returning to your party's roots more and more every day. You know, back when you guys started the Klan.

I don't think Biden even wants to be president. He's there for the upset vote.

Warren, Bloomberg, Sanders, all petulant children, "I just wanna be president!!!"

No shit "Hillary". Calm down.

Didn't vote for you then.

Not voting for you now. 

Buddy and Ryan

I like mayonnaise on my popcorn. And so do Mexicans, only they mix mayo with lime juice. Don't tell the honkies north of the boarder or they'll think you're crazy. 40,000 episodes of white Snapped women murdering their husbands, and white serial murderers, and white dumb ass forensic files, white husbands murdering their white wives, but we're the crazy ones for liking mayonnaise. Yea ok. Sure thing there, Heidi.

Do you have a non porn Twitter account? If so can we be friends? I mean online, not in person unless you drink wine. If you don't drink wine there's no need for us to even meet. I have friends from all walks of life with one blaring common denominator among us, wine.

"Ryan! Anyone seen Ryan?"

If not here he is

RYAN

And here

UPDATE: RYAN

The next 48 hours is all Ryan, all the time.

Here's the thing about this drawing, I've never actually met Ryan, or seen any of his movies. It was brought to my attention he was posed reading Ayn Rand, and to me reading Ayn Rand, is way hotter than porn. Not many young people read Ayn Rand, or have that kind of open mind to consider her philosophies regarding the 1%. And speaking of percentages, in all honesty I'm only about 70% sure I'm drawing the right guy. I had to Google pictures for a reference photo and lets just say there were not a whole lot of images readily available online I could use. I picked a photo where the photographer/photo editor made him look about 15 years older than his listed age which is 30-something...

No matter who he paints, the painter always paints himself.

Here's the thing about photographers, they all want to be considered Fine Artists, but most photographers have never even studied art. They don't often base their photos on composition, but rather point and click their subjects into still life. Granted, still life, is still art, boring art, that is, until an artist renders life into it. Not an easy task by the way. 99 out of 100, still life, strongly represents the birth of, or death of, not the living in between.

I prefer shooting my own models because I know what I'm looking for. I'm an artist first. Photographer second.

I don't know if this photographer intentionally made Ryan look 15 years older but he has a 40-something Raging Bull, De Niro look about him, in addition to tons of shadow and hyper colorshop. Be that, I like the way he looks here. I hate the way he's posed but I like his look. It's been fun drawing him. I had to stop for four days on account of drama with my boyfriend Buddy. We're back on.

Anyway,

Have you met Buddy? 

BUDDY

Here he is again

ALL BUDDY, ALL THE TIME

Cat lovers unite!

I love you crazy cat lovers. ❤

Pussy problems?

Where do I even begin?

Greetings from the barren wasteland.

You know when you ask your friends which anything product works the best? It's probably not a good idea to ask the people who can afford things I can't even pronounce. My friends tend to forget, they're rich, I'm poor. I'm bougie because of them.

No that's not true.

Once upon a time in real Hollywood, I was making damn good money. How damn good? All the rich honkies at the Oscars would be white knuckle fucking mad, damn good! So damn good I sang the "Money motherfucker!" song every day going to work, while at work, and coming home from work. And where did all that money go? Where did it go? Where? WHERE? Well friends, I was the money motherfucker, but I married an even bigger motherfucker. And that's where my money went, to the bigger motherfucker. Who was the stupid a-hole with a joint bank account? Hands?

So not only was my ex-husband spending my money on his girlfriends, he also thought I should pay for his kids that he had with another woman while we were getting divorced. AND THEN...

He initially didn't want to pay me what judge ordered him to pay me. AND THEN...

He had the audacity (the fucking audacity) to email me last week, after years of telling him to drop dead, he actually emailed me last week asking for my help! My what? My help!! It seems his new wife, that's wife #4 who he had the kids with, is divorcing him and taking custody of their children. And what did my ex-husband want me to do for him? What, you ask? Well boys and girls, he wanted me to be a character witness, vouching for his wonderful husbandry skills, in court.

D'AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

(Inhale)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And so I replied, Zelle $500 into my bank account and I'll say whatever you want. That's something we call perjury. P.E.R.jury. We both know there is no way in hell I'm stepping foot into a courtroom to help him. There is not enough dead on earth for him to drop.

Then my week got even better. How you ask? Well...

I decided to officially adopt this kitty I've been loving, feeding, bathing, brushing, giving medical attention to, and housing (when he needed some place to sleep) for the past year. I have invested enough of my life, love, and money on this kitty, he just needs to officially be mine already. I love him. I want to be his forever human. So, first step, I took him to the animal hospital to get vaccinated, tested for feline leukemia, tested for fecal parasites, be neutered, and to register him with a veterinarian. Plus, kitty is very small even though I feed him a lot. I just want to make sure he's healthy. I took kitty to the animal hospital, like an adult, to register him and make sure he was ok.

At the animal hospital they scanned kitty for an ID microchip. Standard procedure. Turns out he already has one. If you follow me on social media or here on this POS blog, then you know the history of kitty and me. I've been sharing kitty with you since the day he and I became furends January, 2019, three months after I moved into my apartment.

In the beginning, a year ago, kitty just ate the food I fed him, and then took off about his business. A year later here we are mad besties. Where he goes, I go. Where I go, he goes. So just imagine the horror I suddenly faced yesterday when the staff at the animal hospital informed me, due to the fact kitty had been chipped, I now had to leave kitty with them for his owner to pick up, and then go home alone. There would be no adoption even though I'm the one who's been taking care of him, loving him, for the past year. Meanwhile some asshole who abandoned him a year ago gets 10 days to reclaim him? What the serious fuck.

The news of having to say goodbye to kitty right there and then, hit me like a wrecking ball. Murdering me would have been more kind.

"Can I at least say goodbye to him outside of the carrier?" I desperately begged the staff, my face already red and puffy with tears streaming down my face. "Of course" they compassionately replied, and directed me and kitty into an empty exam room where I let him out of his carrier. I hugged kitty and smothered his face with kisses. I apologized to him for his not coming home with me, the only home he's known for the past year. I was saying goodbye to kitty as though, because the horrible excruciating truth of the matter was, I was probably saying goodbye forever.

I left the animal hospital in such shattered emotional pieces, nothing compares except maybe sand. I was certain I was never going to see kitty again. I bought a bottle of wine and called Sheldon, the moment I got home. I uncorked the wine, got drunk, and cried on the phone with Sheldon for two hours. -- Thank you!!!❤

During my hysterical phone cry with my dear friend, I received a phone call from the animal hospital with news. They contacted the person who had microchipped kitty, only that person denied having a cat.

What?

Wut?

What?

The person whose name is on kitty's microchip adamantly denied owning a cat. So they immediately called me back and said, "He's yours."

I had kitty vaccinated for everything. Plus he had a fecal test for parasites, and tests for diseases like feline leukemia, all of which came up negative. Surprisingly the animal hospital said they couldn't find testicles on him. Meaning he'd already been fixed. Which is odd since I swear to Jesus, I can see testicles on him when he walks up stairs. Has it really been so long I forgot what testies look like?😕

My only hurdle now is his microchip. Pets can only be chipped once. So for people like me, wanting to adopt a cat that has been chipped by a previous owner, I have to contact the chip company and plead my case. Which I did this morning. I'm just waiting for the verdict. The animal hospital gave me kitty's chip ID and will testify they contacted kitty's previous owner who denies having a cat.

Some people ask, "Why all this mess for a cat? Can't you just get another cat?"

How? How can you possibly think I could? Have you never loved a pet before? I'm invested. For the past year kitty has been my best friend, and I his human.

Once kitty is officially mine, next comes a home for kitty and me.

And...

His name isn't Miso, anymore.

It's Buddy.

Buddy, cat. Buddy, cat, toe beans!!! You totally want to chew on his beans don't you. Don't you! Admit it!

Oh yeah and hey, I started my Ryan drawing few days ago, but I had to stop momentarily to deal with kitty. I'll get back to Ryan, tomorrow. Maybe if it sells we can work together on a thing or two.

Girl Gorgeous

Over the years you've heard me complain about looking like a kid, never aging like the rest of the world. And while most people don't understand how frustrating it is, or think looking young forever would be wonderful, allow me to once again assure you it is not. You're almost entirely alone. Mostly, I don't understand why so many 50+ look like absolute shit. Fat. Disheveled. Outdated. What the fuck happened to you? Are we supposed to look that bad at 50? Did you quit? Why?

So many people nowadays look just awful by the time they turn 50, that whenever I see someone who looks great at 50, I'm like oh, you suffer from the John Mulaney syndrome, also. Because that dude looks like he's in his freshman year of college still and he's almost 40. He's going to look young forever. Kid Gorgeous. He's a comic so he'll make jokes about it, but in time it'll gnaw away at him on the inside. Trust me.

I've been asked if I might want to get back into modeling. Any product I modeled now would be such a lie. Sorry no, I look like this even without the anti age cream or foundation I'm peddling. Fuck you multi million dollar corporation. Sell your own lies.

This kills me. Someone in Japan made a doll, check it out. Click the link.

Finally a doll I can relate to

Damn I look good. Where's my equal? No. Fuck that. The question here fellas is. Why don't you look as good as me?

Well, why don't you?

At least I'm not getting carded anymore.

Ryan Mclane

Can someone please get Ryan Mclane to text me his thoughts on Ayn Rand's The Fountainhead? He's reading The Fountainhead, right? That's so hot.

My heart belongs to another, whose doesn't, nonetheless....

Tonight I'm going to drink a glass of wine and fantasize about Ryan Mclane, dressed in grey sweats, black sweater, slippers, sitting in front of a fireplace reading The Fountainhead.

Men who cook.
Men who read.
Men who love cats
They're just hot.

Please do not tell me he drinks red wine too or my heart will simply explode.

Maybe this world isn't entirely doomed after all.  

Maybe I'll draw him instead of Richard Gere, circa The Gigalo.

Mclane can be my 2nd two foot tall famous person after Dolly Parton.

 I fucked up yet another Farrah drawing.

I don't know what's wrong with me with her. Not true. I do know. I'm worried about this cat...

Anyway, who's got a photo of Mclane I can reference? Maybe a different face will get me out of my funk.

Seriously though, I want to know what he thinks of The Fountainhead. Aramis and I are the only two people I know who've read it.

Remember when I mentioned Ayn Rand and the 1% back in June, 2018...

BLOG: BEING WOMEN

And people lost their damn minds because she's a conservative who writes about the 1%... Yeah, those people never actually read her books. Got an Android? Pluto was streaming three if her book based movies.

I'm still betting on the inevitable doom of society even though I believe it can be fixed. Humans just won't want to.

I look forward to that text message Mclane.

Friday night picture blo... fuck it

As I look around my dull and dreary brain dead surroundings I have to wonder, how did David Lynch, the Coen brothers, and Monty Python, ever make it in this intellectual buffoonery of a country.

My pussy. My rules.

Yesterday on social media I learned not all snakes lay eggs. Some actually give birth to their babies.

And speaking of snakes on social media...

500 men, a small number of my childhood girlfriends, and none of you men are willing to help this little kitty cat? You drool all over my PG photos, write filthy comments, make unwanted sexual advances, but none of you can lift a finger to help an actual living creature? What kind of men are you? Who the fuck raised you? Way to go moms. You raised a bunch of greedy selfish degenerates. I'm done posting pretty pictures of myself until you men do something for me for once. For once! What have you done for me late-ly!

The only time I thought of Brad Pitt, as a sex symbol was in the movie TROY. Both he and Eric Bana, were hot in that movie. But that's the only time I thought of him as a sex symbol. He's a pretty man. Just not sexy. He was sexy in TROY. Aaaand you men on social media, and adult websites, who act like greedy degenerates, you're no Brad Pitt. You all think you are. You're not.

I have zero problems giving... but you men better start learning how to give back. If my male friends can generously give without wanting anything from me, you greedy motherfuckers better start opening some wallets and digging deep. Until then, the only pussy you're going to see is this one.

And I've got tons of pussy pics! For example...

Peak-a-boo pussy. Awwww.

Licking pussy