Baby your you’re much too fast.
Stranger Things 3. I blame you Sergio. You’re the one who got me to start watching it.
* We’re all watching THE DIRT on Netflix tomorrow right? *
* We’re all watching THE DIRT on Netflix tomorrow right? *
Hey kids
Don’t put much thought into reading my blogs. My blatherings aren’t meant to change the colors of your world.
Much like sex with me, reading my blogs can either pass the time quick and easy - or be horribly long, psychologically disturbing, and more abrasive than chewing a mouth full of sandpaper. Dry wit your way through. You’ll be fine.
Oh and hey!
It seems I have finally hit puberty.😭
Take THAT John Mulaney! I beat you to puberty!
I put on my best grandma sweater and tried looking at least thirty. Success!!
And
Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t KNOWINGLY look at women naked over the age of 50. If she’s 50 but looks 35, then LIE and say she’s 28! I finally saw on IG what real 50 year old women look like in their bras and... please put on a shirt. And then a sweater. And then another sweater. And then a coat. Gadzooks.
I can’t knowingly see naked 50 year old women. I just can’t. No. NO. NOooooo!! Why aren’t you home baking cookies in a dress, heels, and faux pearls!!
Please don’t be naked and then inform my brain you’re 50 years old. I can’t hang.
My brain shuts off. My eyes stop working. My vagina blindfolds itself. And I suddenly have the urge to commit massive amounts of arson.
MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF ARSON!!!
And ok sure, HI-FIVE if you’re 50 years old and want to get your lady freak on, sometimes I do too, just don’t do it where anyone will accidentally see.
Now
50 year old men on the other hand
Match them up with 20 year old women and we’re good to go!
I wish I could have sex with a 30-something year old guy but I just can’t. I can’t bring myself to do it. Not at 50 years of age. Ick. I didn’t like most thirty year old guys when I was thirty. Although I did marry someone my age, a year older than me, but I did that for my dad. I was one of those kids who did stuff to make my parents happy. I know, what a dick.
But now, especially at 50 years of age, I want a man my age or older. Preferably older. At least ten years older. I’m hard wired since kindergarten that the social norm is young wife/older husband. Alas men my age I’m attracted to are either gay or dating 18 year old women either for sex or to nurse them in a few years. Or both. I don’t blame ya. Lord knows I’m not gonna to do it.
Why do so many 15-20 year old guys have grandma fetishes? Eeeeesh! I don’t get it. Why? What? WHY??
Check out these hot male models on IG:
PaulRiley59
ClaytonPaterson
JamesCarrick6
C’mon Vegas, there’s gotta be some retired emotionally banged up Chippendale strippers out here I can date. I can still look like a HS girl if that’s your thing!
Don’t mind me I’m feeling it today. Or maybe I just need a nap. At my age it’s really hard to tell the difference.
Nevada. Desert. Barren wasteland. There’s an actual place not far from where I live called Dead Mountains Wilderness, if that’s any indication. It’s where my sex life went to die, along with my compassion, motivation, and overall will to live.
Even Miso is turning bright lights Vegas.
He shakes his little fur on the catwalk.
He works hard for the money! So hard for it honey!
The Cosmopolitan dive-in posted their summer movie schedule. They raised their price from $5 to $7 for non hotel guests. Still, amazing deal.
Let’s!
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