So, come here often?

I'm preparing for the golden oldy years. 

Palm Springs, where fag hags go to die. 

I'm not planning on dying in Palm Springs, but really, who can plan for such things, Dr Kevorkian? (RIP)

April, 2017 I received my first signs of peri menopause. I didn't get my period. And I barely spot for two days in May.

"How is that possible?? You still look like you're 25 years old."

Yes. For the one millionth time, I know. It's a curse really. But that's reality, pumpkin. I'm old. I don't know what happened, a mix up in my hard wiring? Maybe I should sell my piss as magical fountain of youth elixir? 

Nonetheless, it is a transition. Physically it's great. No periods. No more birth control. Not that I'm having sex, but if one day I actually find the time, and interest in someone, there's that.

Sorry Cindy Crawford, as wonderful and sexy as you look today, I was still being carded regularly up until 17 months ago. Letting my natural grey hair grow out has helped a lot, that is, until I take off my sunglasses and people notice I don't have any lines or wrinkles, anywhere. Any then they just look at me all confused. 

Yeah. It's confusing to me too.

Simone Gordon's magical fountain of youth piss elixir. Drink it. Put it in your face. Whatever. And is it weird my first morning pee smells like blueberries? What's that all about?? I DO eat a lot of blueberries, but blueberry pee? That's right folks, my youth piss elixir comes in natural blueberry flavor.

(I totally made myself laugh just now)

I'm convinced I'm going to have a heart attack and/or brain aneurism ANY DAY now. That's the universal payback. Look great all your life. Die young. 

I'm transitioning from naughty schoolgirl to head mistress, teacher, or dirty mommy. Problem with that is, I'm sexually attracted to my age and older, so...

There was one guy, could have been as young as 17 years old, I was sexually attracted to. One guy. ONCE. One time. He looked exactly like someone I knew in high school. Patrick Wilson, but with dark hair, and 17 years old. Home grown MN white boy. Sometimes there really is nothing like home cooking. But at my age you know it's not hormones as much as it is a head trip. Something that trips the triggers. Takes you back. Like my landlord's obsession with young Asian girls, minus the Alzheimers. 

All I do at night is stay home and draw, and watch movies. I didn't want to like La La Land, but I did. There. I said it. A Walk In The Woods, was also good. Oh, and I'm back on Facebook. Kind of. Not really. 

If I'm not getting paid, I'm not leaving my house after 6pm. So let's....

As you know I have a collection of whips, flogs, bondage gear, some rope skills. I'm going to take my magical suitcase on the road, dress the part. I'm thinking tight white button down blouse, tight black skirt to the knees, hair up in a French twist bun, nice stockings, heels, unsuspecting, I have a fake pair of thick black rim glasses around here somewhere...

EDIT: I don't leave my house after 6pm unless I'm getting paid, OR unless it's to see loved ones. Like Aramis, who insists on going to places where one glass of wine costs as much as two nice bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon. -- I just like going to the Guggenheim office, and scaring your security personnel. Look, I'm an artist. I'm SUPPOSED  to dress this way.