deus ex machina

Back on FB. Great reconnecting with childhood friends who still live in MN. I'd love to live there again but the winters would kill me. Take a body out of the hard cruel winter elements it's used to, and it gets weak.

There's a saying, "The young look forward, the old reminisce." And I've been doing a lot of that lately, reminiscing. 

Being from MN I always hear the Prince reference. I've never met Prince, and I can only recall attending a show at First Avenue, once. I've been inside First Avenue, many times, but only saw one show. My friends and I had tickets to see Danzig. Opening for the little rocker was Doro Pesch, and opening for her was some unknown band from Seattle called Soundgarden. 

We've all seen the movie Purple Rain, but when I was inside First Avenue, it was a gutted graffiti infested punk rock basement. Maybe it was then too? Regardless, not a place I'd let my hypothetical kid go to. They'd have to lie to me, "I'm spending the night at Sarah's" and  then sneak out of Sarah's house with her, and go. 

Emo crap brought on by...

After two months no period, I got it this month. Goddamnit. WHEN WILL IT END??!!

It was never my plan to have kids. So good. I didn't have any. BUT NOW it's not even an option. Not sure how I feel about that yet. 

I ended up in Los Angeles, by accident. I was just in town visiting. A billion years later, and... 

It's time to go.

I got a GREAT story out of this criminal nutjob for a landlord. I'm writing up a draft as we speak and shopping it around. After reconnecting with my artist friend Jeff Pittarelli, and telling him the story of my insane and criminal landlord along with his horribly dysfunctional family, and being a tenant for 18 months, stalked by this landlord and his insane 50 year old son, Jeff assured me people would read it. 

So there's that.

I love Indio, CA. And my plan is to retire in Palm Springs or Indio, meaning, keep a place there until the day I die, but not be sedentary there.  

Until then, I'm going to make a pit stop in Las Vegas. Hang out with Jeff for a few days who now lives there. Not think about SHIT. Feed some lions. Don't ask. It's something Jeff wants to do and he says we can. Seeing fireworks this year is important to me. I don't know why, it just is. I've seen Las Vegas fireworks but this year it just means something else. I need a clean mental palette. 

I blame all my emo crap on being peri menopausal. I used to be able to handle crazy better. 

I thought living by the ocean was going to be my new lease on life, but instead I'm surrounded by fucking crazy people! Crazy as in, zero ability to live and let live. I firmly believe Venice, is just the dumping ground for unwanted family members. You can live in the Marina Del Rey, hi-rises if you make the money but I alas do not. I can't be around crazy anymore. 

LA is the only place where your LA friends can whine for hours (and hours) that they're sick, and then cop attitude at you for offering to drop off food or medicine.

Mr Gordon, gave birth to the mother of all cows because I lost 2 or 3 photos in the 200 photos I uploaded from my phone onto desktop. Never mind they were my pictures for me, I shot on my phone. He just wanted copies of my pictures. And then he yelled at me.

My ex doesn't understand basic math. Aside from the fact he chose to have kids (twins) while we were breaking up, assuming he knows where babies come from, he wants to pull money out of our retirement plan because he needs money. First of all, in our settlement, he's supposed to pay for the QDRO (division of assets) also there's a 30% penalty for early withdrawal, also you have to pay tax on that, AND QDRO attorneys aren't cheap! But he just wants money now regardless of penalties later. Fucking stupid.

That's so LA. Do first. Think later. 

Drama. Crazy. 

Fuck off. 

I need to reevaluate (everything). As I was telling a loved one yesterday, I'm a pretty good judge of character usually. How did I end up here? Crazy landlord. Crazy job. Crazy ex's. Paying thousands in rent to live in a homeless zombie video game. WTF is wrong with me??

Sorry LA I'm breaking up with you. It's not you, it's me, I don't like being around you anymore.

That,

And you're insane.

You're overpopulated. Everywhere. 

Neighborhoods should only have ONE crazy neighbor, one homeless guy, one fat kid, one witch, one cemetery, one in the closet homosexual...

Ok maybe two. Two closeted homosexuals. I need two. In case one goes out of town, I can hag on the other one. 

I'll be the one minority in the neighborhood people scream the N-word at. Aaaahhhh it'll be just like home sweet home.

Ruby slippers. (Check)

Pulse. (Check)

Suspended slo-mo. (Check)

Let's go!