No thanks

Thy name is internet.

Why do people think it’s acceptable to walk into someone else’s house and open their refrigerator? Unless we’ve attended a total of at least 5 weddings, birthdays, concerts, and/or funerals together, get the fuck out of my fridge. RUDE.

Aaand another thing!

This morning Aramis and I vented

We are done with seeing fat people on scooters, flip flops, children, babies, and 40 year old men still dressing like their freshman year in high school, strolling through upscale casinos. I’m over it. He’s over it. Circus Circus is that way.

The type of relationship I want doesn’t exist. It’s too old fashion. I accept it. All good. But in lieu of my first choice, my second choice is perfectly fine, that being not having domestic responsibilities with anyone.

What do I mean by domestic responsibilities?

EXAMPLE: “I’m coming into town in three weeks. Wanna get together? Drinks? Dinner? Whatever we want?” And my reply is always the same. I tell that person to write me again when they’re actually in town. Hopefully the moon and stars will align. Let’s chat again then. And they always (always) get mad at my response. Stranger danger!

Truthfully I don’t like making plans with anyone three weeks in advance but I will if...

We’ve attended a total of at least 5 weddings, birthdays, concerts, and/or funerals together. 

One stranger on the internet who claimed to live in Vegas for 20 years actually had the nerve to ask me, “Where in the art district do you live?”

Are you kidding me? The art district is about a mile in circumference. If you lived in Vegas for a month you already know this, let alone living here for 20 years.  So I jokingly replied, “Why, are you mailing me a check?;)” 

Aaaand he never text back. 😂

Gee, why don’t I just give you my exact address, stranger on the internet I’ve never met before. Sure, just come by any time. I’ll leave the door open for ya. Feel free to go in my fridge.

I was at the bank today and while standing in line I watched an FB video a friend from MN posted. I had earbuds in. Played the video on my phone. Minding my own business. And then some obnoxious asshole standing behind me loudly commented about the video I was watching. He was watching the same video over my shoulder. WTF! Why are you looking over my shoulder? RUDE. And why are you telling me you’re looking over my shoulder? Creepy af! And then for no particular reason he told everyone in line to look at a picture of his wife. What? Why? What for? And he just would not stop talking. 

Dear stranger standing behind me in line at the bank, just mind your own damn business. This isn’t a club. We’re not here to be social. See these earbuds? I’m wearing them to shut society out. I’ve had very little sleep and right now I’m even more easily annoyed than normal. 

I’m old fashion. I like being out in a lounge, drinking a glass of wine with friends or by myself, then if I happen to see a guy who who catches my eye, try getting his attention, something very subtle to check his interest level, or being introduced to one another by mutual friends. I get why people date coworkers. It’s really the best place getting to know someone. 

I prefer meeting men the old fashion way because time after time, my experience meeting men online result with these stranger danger online men thinking they’re just as important to me as Aramis is.  

Um. No. Sorry buddy not even close.

Meeting stranger danger men on the internet always goes as follows

DAY ONE: text message each other with the enthusiasm of a new toy the cost of WiFi. 

DAY TWO: texting each other starts getting boring and enthusiasm fades because your new toy is only the cost of WiFi.

DAY THREE: Jesus Christ do you have to text me again? We just text two hours ago. Don’t you have a job or something?

DAY FOUR: I lost interest two days ago.

Internet

Looking for love in all the wrong places!

Unless we’ve attended a total of at least 5 weddings, birthdays, concerts, and/or funerals together, you’re still just some stranger danger from the internet. I’m more invested in the neighborhood cat. 

I’m an old woman. I stopped being enthusiastic over men just for being attractive back when I was thirteen years old. I’m 50 now. According to my dynamo Asian math that’s (going on) 37 years of perfecting cynicism and contempt. And some stranger on the internet thinks he can undo all that with a dick pic and a slew of text message?