Hypnic jerks

Dear India, why are SO MANY of you friend requesting me on Facebook? I know exactly ZERO people in India and I’m perfectly ok with that.

Friend request? Yeah. No.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez

Where do I begin? Can we just have a grudge match between Ocasio-Cortez and Cardi B? We all heard the Cardi B Uncle Sam tax rant, right? “What ya’ll niggers doing with my fucking money!”

You speak for all of us, Ms Cardi B.

Ms Ocasio-Cortez, your response? 

Something about Warren Buffett paying 15% like his secretary... oops, no, that didn’t make sense... she meant reverse tax rate... oh shit, no, um... she meant to say raising corporate tax 28%.... 

Fuck. Lost her train of thought.

And then every Democrat in the house did a facepalm at the same time.

I live in Las Vegas. I have a 1 bedroom apartment for $1,050 a month. In a ghetto neighborhood. With ghetto neighbors.

In Los Angeles the same one bedroom apartment would be at least $2,500 a month. In a ghetto neighborhood. With ghetto neighbors.

First of all, I didn’t expect to live this long. But I did. And now I have to deal with it. 

I’m divorced thank god, single thank god, and employed thank god. And by god, I mean me. 

I have to make plans. Old lady plans. Solo. 

Just because I look freaky weird young, the fact is, I’M NOT. When I’m 55 years old I plan on living in a designated 55+ elderly community, should I live another six years, that is. I just want to be around people my own age. 

My point is, people my age, in my position, only care about money. That’s it. That’s all. Money. I love my friends but beyond a place to crash and paying some bills, I can’t help them. Their asses are equally on their own. 

Do I care about fixing 2 trillion of the budget in ten years? Um. Let me think. In ten years I’ll be almost 60. Therefor. No. 

I have zero problems giving to our military and first responders FIRST. Taking care of our military/veterans is my #1 political priority. The moment anyone says they’re for cutting military spending, can suck my dick. Military spending is more important TO ME than taking care of children that aren’t mine, that I never wanted. Dig? I don’t have children, all things considered, I couldn’t afford them the lives I would want to give them anyway. It’s called being responsible. Perhaps you should have given your children the same consideration before squeezing them out into the world, before relying on other people’s money for their healthcare, tuition, etc. 

The reason these countries have “free healthcare” is because citizens of that country pay a ton in taxes. And if you’re new to America, allow me to inform and/or remind you, conservatives, republicans, independents, democrats, and Cardi B, love their money!         

https://youtu.be/bFE6adKcy2E

“What ya’ll niggers doing with my fucking money!”

I don’t like Ellen or Oprah, but I respect their right to capitalize on - whatever it is they do - that nets them 3.2 billion, and 450 million. 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, made a fool of herself in front of the very people who’s votes she’s relying on, by (among many other things) forgetting about the millionaires and billionaires of her own party. Tax them 28% more AND cut military spending just to save a mere 2 trillion dollars out of the deficit you say? 

Um

Cardi B, your response?

And another thing!

FIRST OF ALL

I’m a hockey girl.

I’ve admitted over the years I don’t know shit about soccer or FIFA, not to to be confused with FIFO, although sometimes I think FIFO might actually apply depending on the country, no?

*FIFO is a widely used hospitality term meaning First In First Out. See, it’s not fun having to explain yourself to people. 

I watched a World Cup game once. Briefly. For three minutes. It was the game where everyone in attendance were humming giant cone-like kazoos, and unless an alien swarm of bees were being hailed to circus de soleil a massive honey sculpture, I couldn’t bear to watch anymore.

I love my friends who say they NEVER ever, ever ever, read my blogs, but the second I kinda sorta (not really!) misspeak in a blog they’re on my ass within minutes!

I misspoke in my last blog DAMN DECEPTICONS where I said I went to LA on my own. 

Technically...

In 1992 (or 1993) after a couple years in San Francisco, I was ready to pack it in and move back home to Minnesota. I detoured to Los Angeles to visit childhood friends who were graduating school, before returning to Minnesota. But once I got to LA, an immediate chain of events occurred allowing me to stay. My friends however returned home within a couple weeks after my arrival, and I was ON MY OWN in LA thereafter. 

So yes. I was on my own sans the first two weeks.

“I never read your blogs.”

2 minutes after I post a blog, “You said we went to Yosemite last year in the beginning of September, but it was AFTER Rosh Hashanah, and her shirt was tangerine, not yellow!”

Whatever fact checkers. You guys can’t even remember where you parked your 5,000 pound SUV after 30 minutes inside Target.

Damn decepticons

Welcome to Las Vegas. Hide your wallet! They’ll steal anything here. You’ll lose more things from being robbed, than from gambling. In 8 months someone has stolen clothes detergent, a grocery bag, and an umbrella out of my apartment. This town can’t help itself. It’s compulsion. Stealing is such a way of life here, I wouldn’t put it past a guy to use his dick as a ploy to steal my fabulous girl bits.

Being a woman and a writer I mentally document everything. I even know exactly how many pairs of socks I own (it’s a lot!) I keep a mental inventory of everything I own. When something gets moved around, I know it instantly.  It’s usually a roommate’s nut job girlfriend, or maintenance men. Hey, I watch Forensic Files. I’m onto you guys.

Sure I could put cameras all over my apartment but why? Like I’m going to take someone to court over an umbrella? 

Unlike Los Angeles, it’s not just the garden variety crazies and severely mentally disturbed, in Vegas it’s also semi-sober, semi-intelligent criminals you have to look out for.

Keep only “stunt” items around if you live here. Cherish nothing. You’re not going to have it for long. Just know there’s probably an 80% chance your Uber driver has served time in jail. I’m almost positive I was in a ride-share with a guy who had a corpse in the trunk of his car it stunk so bad. Either that or he was coming down from a two week bender and forgot to shower first. And let’s not forget the new ride-share trend of drivers secretly video taping your rides. According to outdated privacy laws, apparently it’s legal if just one passenger on camera says it’s ok at any given time for your driver to tape his passengers. Messed up.

But its still cheaper to live in Vegas than California. Just be sure to live (at least) ten miles in every direction away from the strip. I wish someone would have told me that. I live right by the strip and it’s ghetto. China Town is ok but it’s totally shady. Damn Asians.

Honestly the only difference between criminals here, and the criminals in LA, is that here they really don’t give a fuck what they look and smell like. Not one fuck given. Not one. 

People who steal are degenerates. I know they say that about gamblers and drinkers but thieves are worse than dope dealers, only because dope, gambling and drinking can’t happen without the patron’s will. Being robbed is like being raped, it’s socialism. You have it. I want it. Therefor I’m taking it. Socialism. — Don’t forget to steal from all those limousine liberal hypocrites too.

Vegas is my Palm Springs gateway. Being single, no children, both my parents dead, I have to build some kind of old lady network. I moved to Vegas the same way I moved to Los Angeles in 1992, by myself not knowing a single person. It’s the same way I’ll move to Palm Springs, on my own. It’s the same way I’ve learned to do all things, by myself.

I have three days off, but work has been so completely nuts’o I’m physically worn down. Exhausted. Plus I’m losing my voice. I’m spending today on the couch, eating soup, looking for apartments, gargling warm salt water, and sleeping. 

I wish I had a book to read. I’ve been reading books on my phone but miss reading an actual book. Not a whole lot of libraries and bookstores out here. Not exactly a town of readers. 

Women who don’t read are irritating to be around. I’ve gotten pretty good at spotting non-readers, both foreign and domestic. 

EXAMPLE: Two young French girls, both in their 20’s, thought the best way to pay a $16 bill, was for the first girl to hand the cashier $14 in singles, while the second girl also handed the cashier a $20 bill. The girls devised a plan to combine their sum of $34 for a $16 bill. See where this is going? So the cashier says to the girl with the singles, “Why don’t you give your friend $8, and your friend just give me the $20 bill, and I’ll give your friend the change?” But this makes zero sense to the French girls who insist their way is better, giving the cashier $34 between the two of them for a $16 check, all while screaming at the top of their lungs in broken English how right they are.

So either these girls don’t understand American money, or they don’t understand basic math, or they’re just stupid at life in general. 

Seriously ladies, both foreign and domestic, can’t one of you pay a $16 check, and the next time you go out the other person pays? C’mon girls, you’re buying your friend two cocktails, not a brand new Lexus. 

The problem here is, you can only try reasoning with people until you quickly see your efforts are moot, and then we’re forced to let these people stupidly ding-ding through the country at random. 

Democrats for socialism would rather see human beings enslaved in equality, rather than recognize people as individuals with a right to freedom, stupid as fuck they may be. 

But

I don’t worry about Democrats and their idiotic idea of socialism.

First of all,

No Republican, no conservative, no independent, will vote for socialism. Being a capitalist country is what inspires American business to start and thrive. Without capitalism there are no jobs, or even incentive to create jobs. It’s obvious Democrats for socialism want foreign power to take over this country. That’s what they’re really saying. Because that’s what would happen. No American will vote for that.

Second,

Two women. One woman has money. The other does not. The woman who does not have money tells the woman who does, “Socialism. What’s yours is mine.” Aaaaand then we all know what happens next, don’t we. Purge! We’re talking about women, a gender of people who won’t even buy each other two drinks and an appetizer.  

How many times have you and your friends split a check? 

Socialism! The one with the most money now pays. 

Hear that feminists, if you earn more money than the men you hate, what’s yours is his. You’re paying.

This reminds me of a loaner husband I met once who was such a disgrace...

There’s a scene in ‘The Joy Luck Club’ where a couple is out on a date. She eats a $10 salad, he has a $30 steak (or something like that) and he allows her to split the check in half. That was this loaner husband. He was such a disgrace. And he blew up my phone every day afterwards. I had to block him. He was on sex websites to meet women who could buy him things. Married guy. What a disgrace of an educated man. Guys like him would vote for socialism preying on women like a piranha. I’m glad he told me who his friends are so I didn’t waste my time when they wrote me too. 

Americans love independence. 

We love our freedom.

We love our money!

We definitely do not like people telling us what to do, on home soil, especially behind closed doors.

PREDICTION: The moment Democrats try implementing socialism in American society, is when every fist raised in the air will have either a gun or a copy of the constitution.  

No one liked Obamacare. No one. Not even Democrats. Because no one liked being penalized almost $700 in taxes for other people’s kids and families.

Socialist Democrats will use socialism as a gateway to communism. It’s why they love North Korea so much. But it will never work. You would have to literally “Manchurian” the entire country to buy into the farce of a Robin Hood republic, a country that will split check 6 ways from Sunday before buying their friends a basket of cheese sticks.

Moving on...

Regardless of how cool he is on Criminal Minds, and all his other works, Joe Mantegna will always be Fat Tony, to me. 

It’s the same with Jon Hamm, I would eagerly hop in Jon’s lap in a heartbeat if given the opportunity regardless if he was wearing coffee stained sweats and sporting a 3 day beard, he’s still Don Draper, smoking hot and sexy. First and last impressions are fleeting and momentary, but unyielding impress lasts forever regardless how it arrives. 

Hard workers will always be hard workers.

Lazy fucks will always be lazy fucks.

I will always want to bone Channing Tatum after seeing him dance in Magic Mike.

Whatever trips your trigger, gets in your head, that’s the thing that will matter.

It’s why Rick and I always saw each other as the girl and boy next door. Even though Rick grew into a fine and handsome man, to me he will always be the boy next door. That is how I will always remember and cherish him.

Like C. Simone.

Like E. Gordon.

Wherever I may roam, my head and heart I keep in the old neighborhood. 

Leaving home was the worst thing I could have done for my love life, but sometimes you gotta go. 

This for that. 

Journey or destination? 

I’m going to end this blog by saying one more thing addressing Trevor Noah...

You’re a comic. I get that. I’m a writer. We both on occasion say things that mean nothing more to us than material in the works, but to others it triggers them, and they have that right to be offended. Just as we have a right to offend them. Sticks and stones. Basic 1st grade coping skills. Nonetheless, the craft of our art is to be entertaining, engaging, and at the very least thought provoking. Not just insulting. Anyone can be just insulting. How boring.

We’re not horribly different, you and I. You’re an artist, a colored person, with roots from another country on another continent, with an English accent, named Trevor, now in the US, a minority, who is relatively intelligent with a disposition for American politics. See where I’m going with this? 

Withal there are differences LIKE you’re not from here. I am. This is my country. I’m a patriot. For better or worse, I love my country. And if there’s one solid irritation I have with people who are not from here but still criticize my country and patriotic countrymen, it’s foreign raised people (particularly English people! You know who you are!) who think they know what’s best for America and it’s citizens. Yes, America is a land of immigrants, but there were indigenous people here first, everyone conveniently forgets about. 

Respect the people, laws, and land of any country. — Especially you guys, Piers Morgan, Jon Oliver, and Lilo and Stitch or whatever the hell your Youtube names are, English irritating sons of bitches! 

What was I talking about?

Oh

Right

Respect 

I can relate with non-Americans on the surface but I would never have the audacity to go beyond that regardless if we have the same skin color. Hitler had the audacity and look how well that turned out. 

Just stop. Take a step back and breathe. Your joke didn’t bother Aboriginal women back in 2013 like it does now because you’ve kinda sorta been all batshit crazy lately with the social media. 

It’s just soccer, man! Your team will win next year. 

Or not.

Dear Jesus,

I’m watching COPS. Not intentionally. I was channel surfing. This episode is in Las Vegas. Sweet. First of all, there’s cameras everywhere in Vegas. Everywhere. And if people watching the cameras actually do their jobs correctly, you cannot steal a dime without being caught. It’s Vegas. 

There’s some pretty cute cops on this episode. I never see cute cops unless they’re on the street arresting someone. Seems like an inappropriate time to slip them my phone number. “Hey officer. Heeeeeyyy.”

Bad boys. Bad boys. 

Check out the size of the Methylenedioxymethamphetamine on that guy! 

Why is that word so long?

Means ecstasy.

The cops busted a guy with a HUGE (I say HUGE!) bag of ecstasy. Sorry Twilight vampire fans, your dope dealer’s in jail. You’re going to have to drink alcohol responsibly like an adult. 

There’s some really cute cops in this episode. — They just arrested some young kid hiding in a dryer. He’s crying. I feel bad for the kid. 

These cops just went from cute to smoking hot. 

See, I can think sexy men are hot because I’m not a man-hating liberal feminist.

Anyway

Earlier today I learned Lady bugs only live for a year. There’s nothing significant to add to that. I just found it really interesting. 

Graham Allen. Oh you betcha. I’m totally going there. I like Allen’s YouTube’s. We’re on the same page, he and I. We’re both conservatives. From separate cloth. Tailored together we’d make an odd looking blanket but still keep you warm when needed. 

I’m so white, according to white American liberals. But am I white like Graham Allen, or like CERTAIN liberal speech writers for black politicians? 

Yeah. 

Those dudes are white. 

They don’t get any whiter. 

Apparently an advisor somewhere said if a black man wants to be president, to get the white vote, he better hire a bunch of yuppie white speech writers. Kudos to him. It worked didn’t it? Twice.

Huh

Something about one’s own merit? 

Naaaaah.

Let’s hire some white guys and learn to speak white! 

Or perhaps the “white” remark is a stab at being American, because white liberal Americans hate white Americans, or so it seems. 

Just keep in mind that’s how Isis/terrorists recruit Americans, by coming here and normalizing anti-Americanism.

I never get any grief from conservatives. Never. None of them question or make demands upon my Asian-ness, or my kindness, or my compassion. Liberals, however, are constantly challenging people to say something ill of children, or colored people. Newsflash: I’m a colored person. A proud American person of color, you know, the people liberals once upon a time actually defended, so much so they started an organization, maybe you heard of them, the NAACP. 

Just like a proud French person of color, Mr Noah. You racist liberal hypocrite. 

If Trevor Noah were actually French, and then said, “My African brothers won the World Cup”.... 

No. Fuck it. It’s still wrong. 

Dear Trevor Noah,

You need to leave America for a while. Self loathing American liberals have poisoned you. Having the audacity to tell other countries the proper way to be a certain skin color, or patriotic countryman, is a very hateful American liberal thing to do. Go. Go now before the country you know as your childhood home no longer recognizes you, or wants you back ever.

And 

I’m probably the only person to say the following out loud, but.. 

I don’t want to be responsible for raising of your kids. 

Your kids

You chose to have them.

You pay for them.

I want no legal or financial responsibility for the upbringing of your kids. Not one dime. 

I’ll donate to children’s charities. But that’s different. I do that when and where I want at my discretion. As should be.

Not everything I write is a gentile masterpiece for Conservatism, but that’s why there’s editors to red ink the parts where I tell certain people to suck my fat hairy ugly dick. Although sometimes I wish editors would leave that part in. One day. Dare to dream.

CERTAIN political speech writers who continue to swagger their one trick donkey long after it died, can’t write speeches anymore because they write like politicians rather than like human beings. 

In other words you’re BORING!

I don’t write for “likes” or followers. I write because I want to. I’m everywhere. Unlike CERTAIN speech writers, my writing is honest, to myself anyway. PST wouldn’t be in its 6th year if writing was just something I wanted to do for money. Jeezus. Who’d pay to read this?

The Democratic Party lacks essential maturity. 

What do I mean? 

I mean THIS...

Not only are you guys the worst losers, you’re the worst winners. POTUS could say or do something completely idiotic where even people like me can’t find any reasonable defense or spin doctor, “Nope. I got nothing.” But rather than letting the stupidity of the POTUS resonate in the minds of the American people for five seconds, rather than Democrats stepping back and taking their supposed high road, rather than talking to the public like interesting mature adults, you guys immediately are off and running, shit talking POTUS, shit talking republicans, shit talking White House staff, shit talking like you got dumped just before the prom, Becky! hair trigger much? SNAPPED!! It’s comical but in a painful excruciating way.

Civility?

If vandalizing the Wall Street bull with moronic political demonstration is the best democrats can do to galvanize their party, than I suppose I should thank you for making the job of conservatives easier.

So

Yeah

Thank you

I guess?

Rubbed out

Nutella. The Jesus jam of Europeans. 

There’s a couple on YouTube who make videos comparing Americans to Brits. After watching 4 or 5 of these things, I can honestly say if that’s how Brit’s distinguish Americans, than yes, we’re an improvement. Keep your awful tasting Nutella on that side of the ocean, it lasted on American shelves about five minutes until unanimously shotgun blasted off the shelves. 

Female Japanese tourists over the age of 40 are seriously getting on my last nerve. Them and Asian-Indian men over the age of 40. On my last nerve. I have a somewhat impressive pain threshold. Good job breaking it. 

Just because we’re both Asian and over 40, doesn’t automatically mean I have your back. You earn the privilege of my loyalty by years of friendship, blood, sweat, tears, random late nights involving shovels and a dozen jumper cables, just like everyone else. It also helps if you speak English.

I avoid socializing on the strip every chance I get. There’s a few shows I really want to see, but have delayed seeing them because they’re on the strip. I need to master the art of slingshot. Old school. A solid V-stick and a high tension durable rubber band. Then me and bag of half melted chocolate M&M’s in a hip holster, are going to ping every annoying rude a-hole square in the forehead with choco splats. 

To answer your question...

My expectations of millennials are very low considering who many of my own peers are. Accordingly I care more about preserving animals in their natural habitat. Pick your battles. 

It’s a conspiracy. I believe it. Foreigners come to this country just to drive Americans mental. I’m convinced of it with their anti-American media, and then they hop on a plane to come here. Why come here if you hate Americans so much? You’re like that bitter ex-boyfriend who initially declares his love and then takes a baseball bat to your car because you want to hang out with your friends without him. Just keep in mind that’s how Isis/terrorists recruit Americans, by coming here and normalizing anti-Americanism.

And another thing...

If you’re going to personally come after me because I’m unsatisfied with my government, at least be American. 

Foreigners who criticize my disapproval of how much government is in my daily life, would be like me judging your whore’ish wife for being naked and spread eagle to sell a handmade hoodie. Not sure why she has to bend over naked to sell a handmade scarf, but maybe if both our products of taxation were better quality, neither one of us would be judging each other. 

It’s always amusing to me how liberals come after me when I mention the government. We’re on the same side here regarding this subject but for different reasons. Nonetheless, liberals continue to come after me, just to come after me. Wouldn’t you like to know where your tax dollars are going?

Last Friday I had the day off. I spent the entire day/night apartment hunting. The problem with looking for apartments in Vegas is, most apartments were once motels, so no actual interior buildings, and the buildings still look like a seedy motel. Even in the newer buildings the front doors face outside. I prefer living inside a nice building with a lobby, security cameras, on-site manager and maintenance, plus central air/heat. Wall units won’t get the job done. My other issue is, I don’t need a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment. I don’t want to keep cleaning rooms I don’t use. — And maybe someone is NV real estate can explain this to me, but why is a 1 bed/bath apartment $800 and a 2 bed/bath apartment $900? It’s still cheaper than what I’ve been paying for the last seven months. Still?

I was in the mood to be social last Friday night but after apartment hunting all damn day, I instead ate six Twizzlers and took a nap. 

I’m going to bed this blog in true PST style.

RACISM

I’m constantly preaching common courtesy, common sense, pride, and loyalty. 

People who use racial slurs in their out loud voices among those they are slurring, are not only asking for trouble, they’re begging for it. Seriously, how stupid can you be? Rhetorical question. I already know the answer. 

Now having said this...

There’s a difference between non-physical racism, and physical racism. You can call me whatever racist names you want, but if you touch me in a harmful way, You better hope I only stab you in the hand with my pen. 

Getting in my face and being racist is something. Being thousands of miles away and behaving racist towards me on TV is something less. It’s not right. Just less.

I don’t know about you but I don’t have time for lesser people.

THE END

Oh no wait. One more thing.

The latest movie in the Purge series, THE FIRST PURGE, grossed 52.2 million since opening night. Not a bad piece of coin considering it only cost 13 million to make. 

12 hours a year, people.

Just saying.