Dear Jesus,

I’m watching COPS. Not intentionally. I was channel surfing. This episode is in Las Vegas. Sweet. First of all, there’s cameras everywhere in Vegas. Everywhere. And if people watching the cameras actually do their jobs correctly, you cannot steal a dime without being caught. It’s Vegas. 

There’s some pretty cute cops on this episode. I never see cute cops unless they’re on the street arresting someone. Seems like an inappropriate time to slip them my phone number. “Hey officer. Heeeeeyyy.”

Bad boys. Bad boys. 

Check out the size of the Methylenedioxymethamphetamine on that guy! 

Why is that word so long?

Means ecstasy.

The cops busted a guy with a HUGE (I say HUGE!) bag of ecstasy. Sorry Twilight vampire fans, your dope dealer’s in jail. You’re going to have to drink alcohol responsibly like an adult. 

There’s some really cute cops in this episode. — They just arrested some young kid hiding in a dryer. He’s crying. I feel bad for the kid. 

These cops just went from cute to smoking hot. 

See, I can think sexy men are hot because I’m not a man-hating liberal feminist.

Anyway

Earlier today I learned Lady bugs only live for a year. There’s nothing significant to add to that. I just found it really interesting. 

Graham Allen. Oh you betcha. I’m totally going there. I like Allen’s YouTube’s. We’re on the same page, he and I. We’re both conservatives. From separate cloth. Tailored together we’d make an odd looking blanket but still keep you warm when needed. 

I’m so white, according to white American liberals. But am I white like Graham Allen, or like CERTAIN liberal speech writers for black politicians? 

Yeah. 

Those dudes are white. 

They don’t get any whiter. 

Apparently an advisor somewhere said if a black man wants to be president, to get the white vote, he better hire a bunch of yuppie white speech writers. Kudos to him. It worked didn’t it? Twice.

Huh

Something about one’s own merit? 

Naaaaah.

Let’s hire some white guys and learn to speak white! 

Or perhaps the “white” remark is a stab at being American, because white liberal Americans hate white Americans, or so it seems. 

Just keep in mind that’s how Isis/terrorists recruit Americans, by coming here and normalizing anti-Americanism.

I never get any grief from conservatives. Never. None of them question or make demands upon my Asian-ness, or my kindness, or my compassion. Liberals, however, are constantly challenging people to say something ill of children, or colored people. Newsflash: I’m a colored person. A proud American person of color, you know, the people liberals once upon a time actually defended, so much so they started an organization, maybe you heard of them, the NAACP. 

Just like a proud French person of color, Mr Noah. You racist liberal hypocrite. 

If Trevor Noah were actually French, and then said, “My African brothers won the World Cup”.... 

No. Fuck it. It’s still wrong. 

Dear Trevor Noah,

You need to leave America for a while. Self loathing American liberals have poisoned you. Having the audacity to tell other countries the proper way to be a certain skin color, or patriotic countryman, is a very hateful American liberal thing to do. Go. Go now before the country you know as your childhood home no longer recognizes you, or wants you back ever.

And 

I’m probably the only person to say the following out loud, but.. 

I don’t want to be responsible for raising of your kids. 

Your kids

You chose to have them.

You pay for them.

I want no legal or financial responsibility for the upbringing of your kids. Not one dime. 

I’ll donate to children’s charities. But that’s different. I do that when and where I want at my discretion. As should be.

Not everything I write is a gentile masterpiece for Conservatism, but that’s why there’s editors to red ink the parts where I tell certain people to suck my fat hairy ugly dick. Although sometimes I wish editors would leave that part in. One day. Dare to dream.

CERTAIN political speech writers who continue to swagger their one trick donkey long after it died, can’t write speeches anymore because they write like politicians rather than like human beings. 

In other words you’re BORING!

I don’t write for “likes” or followers. I write because I want to. I’m everywhere. Unlike CERTAIN speech writers, my writing is honest, to myself anyway. PST wouldn’t be in its 6th year if writing was just something I wanted to do for money. Jeezus. Who’d pay to read this?

The Democratic Party lacks essential maturity. 

What do I mean? 

I mean THIS...

Not only are you guys the worst losers, you’re the worst winners. POTUS could say or do something completely idiotic where even people like me can’t find any reasonable defense or spin doctor, “Nope. I got nothing.” But rather than letting the stupidity of the POTUS resonate in the minds of the American people for five seconds, rather than Democrats stepping back and taking their supposed high road, rather than talking to the public like interesting mature adults, you guys immediately are off and running, shit talking POTUS, shit talking republicans, shit talking White House staff, shit talking like you got dumped just before the prom, Becky! hair trigger much? SNAPPED!! It’s comical but in a painful excruciating way.

Civility?

If vandalizing the Wall Street bull with moronic political demonstration is the best democrats can do to galvanize their party, than I suppose I should thank you for making the job of conservatives easier.

So

Yeah

Thank you

I guess?