It’s only 100 degrees out right now. Better grab a sweater! For the past two nights I’ve woken up to a lot of dried blood in my left nostril. Sexy!! Reason #7 why I like to sleep alone, the random bloody nose. But mostly it’s because I have a weird sleep apnea. I get into a deep sleep, breathing deep and hard, and then for whatever reason I suddenly stop breathing for like 4 or 5 seconds. It’s a looong time sleep pattern. Why people think violently shaking me awake is the right thing to do, I have no idea, but it’s what they do. Ever been violently shook awake from a deep sleep? It’s terrifying. I’m shocked no one’s given me a heart attack. I explain, look, I’m 49 years old. If my apnea was going to kill me it would have done so already. Plenty of opportunity. Furthermore why do people have a problem letting me die in my sleep! I must always have my own room. My own apartment. Plus I like sleeping on the couch anyway. It’s fast and easy to fall asleep and wake up if I need to. — Aaaaand now I have this bloody nostril issue.
Update on the bloody nostril: After two days of blowing my nose in the mornings clearing the dried blood out of my nostril, a pretty little dark red scab blew out my left nostril. My guess, some little critter, probably a spider, totally went up my nose while I was sleeping and went medieval on the inside of my schnoz, and then died, or went down my throat. The good news is, no bloody nose this morning. All was clear.
A spider dying in my nose.
That’s a first.
I spent almost my entire childhood/life outside. Never happened before. I’ve been bitten by spiders, just never in my nose or so I don’t think. The good news is, provided they’re not poisonous, spiders are mostly protein. They’re edible.
Weirdness #2 this week, for about three weeks I had this pen-tip size zit looking thing an inch under my left eye. It hurt when I touched it. I was worried as you would be when something new and unfamiliar grows on your face. I Woke up yesterday morning and it was gone. Aliens!
I’m at that old lady body stage where very weird things are happening as it prepares for menopause. Nonetheless just like clockwork I’m still getting my useless full-on menstrual cycle like I did when I was 20. Still! Yesterday I ate a chicken salad sandwich. That’s it. I was so busy yesterday that’s all I had time to eat, and even then I was annoyed I had to stop my busy day just to eat that. It’s irritating when I have to stop what I’m doing to eat or pee. It drives me crazy. Even though that chicken salad sandwich was all I ate yesterday, because I drank like a gallon of water, my tummy blew up like a weather balloon, and for the rest of the night it felt like I was going to birth the entire winter winds of Chicago. And I did. Early this morning. My tummy deflated itself back down to normal. Took about three minutes. Sexy!!
Aside from the fact I’m busy, being perimenopausal and premenstrual really messes up your sex drive. Your body goes through more hormonal changes on a daily basis than puberty. But damn I still look good! I’m still getting carded. For as long as no one thinks I’m almost 50, I’ll keep shooting sexy images and posting them. Fuck it. It’s the only thing I know to do being a weird freak of nature.
Bob Gordon says it’s wrong of me to stay single.
Yes, it’s my fault when men can’t find a partner.
It’s my fault when men can’t get laid.
Maybe these men should stop seeking sex like they’ve got nothing else going on in their lives.
I’m constantly busy. How do you guys have all this free time?
Just like the hymn of that wise ex-junkie sage, “You too can kick the habit. I was a dick... a dick... addicted... until I finally realized there is more to life.”
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