"eleven, eleven, eleven, and..."

13??

"It's like, how much more black could this be? and the answer is none. None more black."

Look at all my whites!

Holy MOLEY! https://instagram.com/p/BSP9XkIAdad/

Woooooo!!! I love getting old!! 

A whole $100 dolla dolla dolla's!!

Fantastic. Some guy just offered me $100 to make an "amateur porno" with him "splitting all the profits." Sweet! Where-oh-where to spend that $2.67??

SOoooo whatarewegonnacallit?

"Grandma's drunk and naked... again"
"Where did I leave my teeth??"
"Grey's spread eagle aneurism"

I have a young face. No wrinkles. Smooth soft skin (everywhere baby!) and 15 months ago I was carded yet again only this time to see an R-rated movie. God damned freak of nature. --But, I'm OLD. Get it? Still adorable, sarcastic, and fucking dope, but OLD.

I just want to look my best. That's it.

Last night an attractive woman (in her mid 50's or so she said) with grey/platinum hair like mine but longer in length, no wrinkles on her face either, asked me how old I was. I told her. She was initially surprised I'd let my hair go grey at my age but understood. And then she asked how I felt about it.

I love my hair color. And now that my hair is growing back out, I love it even more. I'm never coloring it again. Never. This is it.

I asked HER how she felt about her grey hair, and she said, "I've never been hit on by more 20 and 30 year old men in my life. Not even when I was in my 20's and 30's!"

Same here.

But

For me personally, it's kinda creepy (unless you're queer and fabulous, and then I'm genuinely flattered.)

I wish I had the courage to give her my phone number. It would have been cool to have a sister grey hair girlfriend. She seemed really nice. South American, I think. Perhaps Spanish. Sexy accent. Stylishly dressed. Kinda artsy. Intelligent. Well spoken. If ever I go lesbo, that's my girl.

Being "retired" from stupid younger LA days, it would be cool to have a girlfriend to share (this) experience with. --My girl friends will bleach and color their hair for life, and all the more power to them. They look wonderful. I'm just not in that particular headspace anymore.

And maybe it's because my face still looks like a 12 year old, with no makeup on, that I don't care. Plus, I live by the ocean. I spend every day above 65 degrees at the beach every day I can. No one here cares what your hair looks like. I only go east of the 405 for loved ones, or if I'm being paid (more than $100 dolla's), if there's an emergency, and if... well no that's pretty much it.

How much will it take for me to go east of the 405? In a few years I won't even remember where the 405 even is, so who cares.

The Quin

You're fabulous and you know it even if you did make fun of me last night for texting with one finger. It's my poking finger!

See you tomorrow.

AND

You know the grey/platinum hair looks HOT when a gang of sexy queers say so!

Life

"Airtight thriller has an alien presence."

The hell you say.

Twatting

“This electronic message was no different than a bomb sent in the mail or anthrax sent in an envelope,” said Mr. Lieberman.

Huh.

Um. No.

Twitter (social media) account users are 100% responsible for their incoming tweets. Don't want incoming tweets, I believe Twitter has an option for its users to censor who is allowed to view and send what, no? People make horror movies, whoever comes to see those horror movies are responsible for their heart conditions, which is a more realistic comparison than tweets vs a bomb sent in the mail! Comparing a tweet to receiving anthrax is, well, that's just stupid.

Eichenwald, is a grown man. Rivello, is a 29 year old "kid" with cyber skills. If Eichebwald's epileptic seizures can be that easily triggered by a strobe light than he should stay off the internet all together and throw away his television sets. My building is owned by an 80 something year old man with stage 4 dementia who thinks its ok to just walk into our apartments whenever he wants. Meh. Whatever. Play the game or move, and deal with some other asshole, new neighbors, all their fucked up madness and a whole new game of the same old. --In a year or less the owner of my building won't even remember how to get to my building, much less know what his own name is.

Rivello, enhanced the power of subliminal messages through the Internet.

You're just jealous.

Tweet seizures

Hate the game. Not the player.

Yay Christmas!

I love this holiday!!

T'is the season to be...

What? It's over? https://instagram.com/p/BRybxy5A48-/

But it's only mid March! https://instagram.com/p/BRybbKUAnri/

PSA the more you know

You don't have to be tan to be queer.

But seriously. WHY is that dude so pale??

Honky-tonk

Is he queer? Is he Mormon? Did he just get out of prison?

Why is he so white??

This is Los Angeles, even Jews get tan out here! Not many. But some. At least one or two!

And

BBC? No clue. I've never had sex with a black guy.

Whoooooooo!

Google had a nervous breakdown just now!

Hangovers are SOoooo 2001

Daylight savings. Why? What for? I want my hour sleep back!

Withal

"It is a beautiful day at the Red Pony Saloon and continual soirée"

Just finished binge watching five seasons of Longmire, on Netflix. Love that show. Not quite the Wyoming I recall visiting often as a kid, probably because I read Longmire was actually filmed in New Mexico, and Las Vegas. Two desert states I absolutely love. I almost moved to New Mexico, once. Still might.

I am among the proud Ute indigenous people. Well, a part of me is anyway, the good part. I'm also part Asian, but Asians have never liked me for being a proud (native) American, and all I can say to that is, if you don't like being an American, or in America, than go back to whence you came. Don't let the door hit you on the ass! --Right about here is when I start being accused of sounding like a racist redneck. But hey, love it or leave it. Yo bartender, Pabst Blue Ribbon, in a can, make it a double!

I decided today to forgo eating with utensils and just eat with my fingers. Not for any reason in particular I'm just a little kinda hungover. It's my first hangover in YEARS. I don't drink enough to get hungover, plus my wine tolerance is pretty high, but last night I was drinking beer, a lot of beer, and today was a little brutal.

The only thoughts I managed to keep in my head all day were...

People from Venice, CA, are called Venicians. People from Venice, Italy, are called Venetians. I dare you, stupid American, you know who you are, to go to Venice, Italy, and tell the proper locals, "Hey, I'm from Venice, California, in the U.S., so I guess we're all Venetians." --And see what happens. FYI I think they still murder people by pitchfork over there. Is that really how you want to die? Is it? Is it?

No really, is it?

And....

SA company face shields, NOT used for robbing banks, anti-hero crime fighting and other nefarious comic book villainy, and definitely NOT for dirty rapey sex fantasies!

So. Um. What exactly then are face shields used for again?

Skiing?

Really?

(Really?)

Are you sure?

In closing...

MONOGAMY

Yeah. No. I got nothing.

Darling come here fuck me up the https://youtu.be/HcbZUmLlNEo

Oh yes I can!

Make fun of North Carolina, because my dad's widow is from North Carolina, born, named after, and bred until high school graduation, and then professed escaping to, of all places, WISCONSIN.

Not New York

Not Paris

Not California

Wisconsin!

HOW bad...

Never mind.

She never looked back

Thankfully

Because then she met my dad.

I know many wonderful people from Wisconsin. Aramis is from Wisconsin. It's just not one of those places kids daydream, "You know, when I turn 18, I'm so getting the fuck out of here, and moving to Wisconsin, where it's never above 45 degrees nine months out of the year."

Said no teenager from the U.S. ever!

Biscuits 'N Porn

Nope, not a sex term like donkey punch...

It's a gas station in Nags Head, North Carolina, a convenience store, plus a bakery where you can get some pretty dope southern biscuits apparently, AND they sell porn?

All rolled into one.

wow

It's every man's dream cave.

Road trip? I want a shirt.

I love the Yelp commenters who criticized the porn being sold there. It's a gas station!

"Large Marge does the hot gravy Croatan Highway"

"Amputee 54 pregnant and lactating"

Actually, it might be cool to have your porn sold here BECAUSE it's one of those places you have to earn. (As far as I can tell) they don't have a website. If you want a shirt or a beer mug you have to go get it. I like places like that.

Keep in mind it's in North Carolina, so...

Whip out the redneck wife beaters, tag a "Jesus loves guns" bumper sticker on your car, and don't shower or brush your teeth for a month before hitting the road.

I wrote that couple too

They didn't reply to me either. I'm not into Asian chicks, I just wanted to fuck her ginger boyfriend meet them because they seemed like really nice people.

Things Venicians say

"54 degrees. Dude, it's too cold out for a bonfire."

That one couple

We had some good times last year. But that was last year. This is this year. And this year they're no longer a couple. And like all couples who break up, each wants the unicorn. I hate it when parents fight.

Just

Go in the car in the garage, turn up the stereo and work it out!

Good job man-bun

Dude who stepped on his pomeranian twice outside of Venice surf/skate shop, just now.

We're all running out of

She has a photo of her sitting on a picnic table in a bikini holding a soccer ball between her knees, and so I ask her, "You play soccer?" (Because I started to play soccer in high school before I took up track) and her reply was, "No." Ok. And so then I ask her, "Modeling gig for soccer balls?" And she replied, "No." Ok. And so I point to the picture and ask, "Soccer ball?" And she replied, "Well I'm hoping people don't notice the soccer ball. I AM wearing a bikini!" And so I ask her, "Does your boyfriend play soccer?" To which she observed, "You're obsessed with that soccer ball."

Look

This is how my brain works...

Of ALL the photo props in the world, why a soccer ball if you don't play soccer? Were you sitting on that picnic table next to a friendly soccer game and happen to catch a stray ball, followed by the introduction of your now boyfriend? Because at least THAT would make an interesting story, for about 15 seconds.

If one day I randomly drew mallards, friends would curiously ask, "Because we're from Minnesota??" (State bird.) To which I would simply reply, "No." And then they would ask, "Because you've never drawn birds before and you're trying something new?" And again I would simply reply, "No." And they would go crazy wanting to know what's with the mallards? --That's me and this chick's soccer ball.

I ask women questions in further detail more than men, for the simple fact that, I expect more from women on a cerebral level than I do from men. I look for their story. I look for their hidden artistic detail. Not saying women are more intelligent or interesting, only that I expect more from them. It is why I detest most feminists. Their politics seem intellectually lazy to me. They don't support independent thought, and they're very translucent about their obvious feelings of entitlement merely for being born with a vagina. How boring. Having a vagina is no more impressive than having a penis and these days I find both terribly dull more often than not.

I need MORE

And

The older I get the more I need.

I woke up at 3am and suddenly needed to learn about bee-keeping.

I was never that little kid asking "Why?" every five minutes, but I am that adult who observes things in a challenging inquisitive way. --Which is why I'm thrilled to read that students from multiple Montebello unified school districts are asking all THE RIGHT questions! Only next time kids, don't walk out of class, stay in class and continue asking the right questions like, "Where's the money going?"

This whole "let's walk out and protest to get noticed" does nothing more than, at best, gets you noticed. That's why "Hollywood fame" attend protests, to boost their careers. Trust me, Hollywood has NO idea what you're going through. If you have questions that demand answers, go to where those people are who have those answers. Nobody on the 10 freeway can give you resolve other than perhaps running you over and killing you.

"Let's go down to Venice and watch all the hippies protesting Snapchat."

No thanks. I live here and couldn't care less about Snapchat.

It's the false business of news to make this world seem more insane and fantastic than what it is, when really that's OUR job, artists and writers. But here we are 2017 humans have mastered destruction. When will it stop? When there's nothing left to destroy. When all the children are dead I suppose. Idiocracy. Weather channel guys make millions of dollars to tell you what the weather is outside, as if all our doors and windows are broken.

I'm waiting for Amazon to deliver my work bench, and then, enjoy the day. Chill on the beach. Bike ride around the ocean perhaps. I need it. I freaked myself out yesterday. I walked past a construction site and kinda liked the smell of fresh laid tar.

Whooooo my Friday night plans

THIS https://instagram.com/p/BRHL7lVAqM1/

Wanna come over and watch?

Baby it's too big!!

Remember these in high school? https://instagram.com/p/BRHEJjAAeEK/

It's just so big it won't fit anywhere.

It's cool. I'll make it work...

Size matters!

everyone's sexy!

I don't know what their names are either.😶 They wrote me (4 years ago maybe?) It took me a while to write them back, maybe a month or two, then they wrote me back maybe 5 months later, and then a month or so later I wrote them back... 

And that's pretty much the way it's been going for the past 4 years or so. We haven't actually met face to face yet. I tried going back to their original email where they signed their names, and even sign my name again at the end of my emails hoping they would "catch on" but no luck.

Everyone's sexy.

Hey sexy heeeeyyyyy! 

I think most people are ok with just being called sexy. 

I'm Simone Gordon.

Not really but who cares.