“Have you come to rape me, or seduce me?”
“I’m a gentleman.” He replied.
“So rape then.” She mocked making her body limp.
— THE FAVOURITE. Funny movie.
I finally saw Bohemian Rhapsody. Finally. Good movie. Was it accurate? Had I known Tom Hollander was in this film I would have seen it sooner. He plays Jim (Miami) Beach. He was Etherege in The Libertine, and the smarmy Mr Collins in Pride & Prejudice. It was interesting seeing Hollander play in a modern set movie, and not a period piece for once. Furthermore, hi-five buck teeth people! I have an overbite and a twisted front tooth that makes me look like I have buck teeth.
Grey hair and buck teeth.
I also rented the movie GREEN BOOK, which I highly recommend. “So if I’m not black enough, and if I’m not white enough, and if I’m not man enough, then tell me, Tony, what am I?”
Yes sir, Doctor Shirley. I relate. I’m definitely not Asian enough, and I’m certainly not white enough, and I’m absolutely not man enough. If I were, men wouldn’t feel the need to hassle me to make themselves feel better. “A single woman. So vulnerable. So naive. So scared. She’s nothing without a man. She goes home at night and cries herself to sleep.” Or so they love hearing themselves talk. Oh my amusement hearing men tell other men what it’s like being a single woman.
The laundry room in my building is out of commission again per a strange note on the door, and so once again I’m typing this from the laundromat up the street. I don’t mind. I like coming up here. No one bugs me, usually, and I get some work done. That, and I get to watch Spanish TV and play the commercial guessing game. Spanish commercials are so artistic. There’s a beautiful woman dancing ballet barefoot on a linoleum kitchen floor wearing a delicate white negligee as the morning sun pours through a window. Is the commercial about ballet, kitchen linoleum, clothes detergent? Foot care? Windex? Nope! It’s about orange juice. Good one. I would have never guessed orange juice.
Male Asian creeper alert at the laundromat! He’s a desperate 50 something year old creeper lurking around the laundromat. Lurker! He works here actually. It’s an Asian couple who owns this laundromat I think. He’s a fresh off the boat creepy lurking Asian guy. *Shudder* He’s that disgusting guy circling to get attention. You know the type. Circling. “Notice me!” Circling. “Notice me!” Circling. Ugh. Gross. When I ignored him, and he saw I was watching Spanish TV, he pulled out a very loud lint cleaner which makes more noise than a leaf blower and started cleaning the lint baskets in the dryers right next to me. It was just me and one other woman doing laundry in the entire laundromat. Christ. How subtle. Almost as sad as the guy who pulled his giant boat into the store parking lot where I was waiting outside for my Lyft. He just parked his damn boat right in front of me so I wouldn’t be able to see my ride pull in. He took up five parking spots. Two of the spots were handicap. Dick. He got out of his truck to fumble and adjusted the tarp that was secured over the boat. Two minutes later when he was done fumbling, the tarp looked exactly the same as when he pulled into the lot. Yeah I see you. Congratulations. You’re an asshole. Now get your ridiculous boat out of my face so I can see my ride when it arrives.
Aren’t these guys embarrassed? It’s like people who try talking to you when you have earbuds in. See these earbuds? That means Shhhhhhhh don’t bother me. No one here is gonna fall in love with you mister senile 70 year old wrecked motherfucker leering at females from 60 years of age to 13 without shame.
When you no longer care about sex, every attempt men make to get my attention, is repulsive. Don’t get me wrong I would definitely fuck Keanu Reeves and Tom Cruise, but that’s because I’ve had since their excellent adventure, and greaser days, to sexually fantasize about them. How long is that? Some-30 years? At least? I’m invested.
The 50 year old creep in his loud ridiculous sports car makes me want to shoot out his tires - so long as there’s a boiling hot tar pit directly in front of him.
I much rather believe in fairytales like Sleeping Beauty, than spend whatever remaining years of life I have left tolerating some man I have absolutely nothing in common with, cleaning up after him. At least Sleeping Beauty, gives me something to look forward to. I’m not awake for 99% of the bullshit. Hooray! And they all lived happily ever aft...Zzzzzzz
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