Regardless how much her parents paid to get her into college, if the kid’s an obvious dipshit going in, she’s going to be an obvious dipshit coming out, forever a financial burden to her parents until they financially cut her off, and she spends the rest of her life smoking meth to feel better about herself, while trying to break into our homes every 29th day of the month. Gee parents, aren’t ya’ll glad you forked over millions of dollars on your idiot kid?
I just saw the best movie trailer. For Johnny! We’ll do it for Johnny! https://youtu.be/N3RqajyxUco
See kids, there’s a movie called The Outsiders, made in 1983, a remake of the book written by S.E. Hinton. Oh. Right. Sorry. I should explain. A book is a written story...
I go into detail how/why somewhere in this six year disaster of a blog the meaning behind the name Simone Gordon. Point is, once upon a time there really was a Simone. She didn’t live long though. She hung herself many years ago while we were all in our 20’s.
STORY 1
Back when Simone and I worked together, she was seeing a guy, living with a guy actually who looked like Kiefer Southerland circa Young Guns. It was the 90’s but the 80’s were still going strong. Did the 80’s ever die? Enter a known bass player in the music industry who befriended Simone and her boyfriend. The three of them hung out from time to time and became close friends. We could all speculate what type of relationship Simone, her boyfriend, and this bass player had, and we would probably be right. Though I never spoke to her about their three-way relationship in great detail, Simone informed me this bass player was more her friend than his, whom she and her boyfriend met together. Not long however after their three-way friendship began, feelings got hurt, Simone’s boyfriend cheated on her repeatedly to feel better about himself, and as could be expected he and Simone broke up. The bass player walked away like nothing happened, unscathed. As he should. Speaking from experience, as the third wheel in past three-way friendships, we’re just the guest stars. Guest stars get to casually walk away afterwards like nothing happened. After all, we’re all adults. I personally take ZERO responsibility what occurs in your relationship after I leave.
When Simone and her boyfriend broke up she spiraled down into a very dark place I later found out in the final letter she mailed me. Not even being admitted into a mental institution could save her. Back in those days I had a rather significant substance abuse problem and couldn’t take care of myself let alone pay attention to anyone else. To this day it is my one true regret in life. I will regret Simone’s death until the day I die.
People will say Simone’s death is not anyone’s fault but her own. But is it? Is it really? What good are we if we can’t take care of our friends and loved ones?
STORY 2
Once upon a time, long ago in the late 90’s, I befriended two men. One of the two men was a concert promoter. Still is. These two men happened to be roommates at the time. We all lived in Hollywood, down the street from one another and the three of us got cozy at least once a week for an entire summer.
Good times.
And then I met my future ex-husband.
STORY 3
Around 2005, I worked for a sushi restaurant in studio city.
STORY 4
The concert promoter and I remained acquaintances through the many years mostly on social media. I’ll hear from him on occasion. He was recently in Las Vegas, putting on a show and kindly invited me to the concert. Unfortunately I had to work and couldn’t attend but I took a look at the roster anyway and...
That bass player was on it.
It’s awful when there are people who remind you death, and not just any death, the suicide of a friend.
Since Simone’s suicide I have not seen her ex-boyfriend or the bass player. Had I gone to this concert the other night, I would have. Call it morbid curiosity. Call it, I don’t know what, but I looked at this bass player’s Instagram page and saw that he had moved on with his life, happily, seemingly without a care in the world. Instagram is the happy you want the world to see and believe about your life. He’s married for a long time now, and one of the pictures he and his wife took together was at the sushi restaurant where I used to work back in 2005. And for whatever reason it just pisses me off. This bass player knows Simone died. He knows the gruesome way in which She died. And there’s a fucked up part of me that needs to know he’s haunted by her suicide like I am. This bass player didn’t do anything wrong. Did he? Not really. Like myself he failed her like everyone else in her life. Like me he didn’t get involved. But we’re all adults right? We’re all adults. That’s what we say. This bass player and I chose not to get involved with Simone’s personal problems even though we were part of them. But we’re all adults. Does that make us free of blame? Free of guilt? Not according to her family who didn’t want any of Simone’s “Hollywood friends” to attend her funeral services. It’s our fault she committed suicide. Her family gave themselves no blame.
And the more photos where this bass player and his wife look happy in his Instagram timeline, the angrier I got, especially at the photo of them sitting in my old place of employment with big smiles on their faces. I need to know he’s haunted by her suicide. I wonder if he ever told his wife about a girl he once knew named Simone, who killed herself not long after they met. I need to know he can still see her face hanging from the noose tied to the ceiling lights. I need to know there’s a song that reminds him of her death. And every time he hears that song his world crashes for a little while. I need to know he still feels something for her. Not because I want him to suffer, I want the satisfaction of being assured he hasn’t forgotten about her.
My acquaintance, the concert promoter, was in Vegas for a few days. We text each other as all long lost acquaintances do, with hollow enthusiasm of getting together for a drink we both know won’t happen.
For those of us who have survived the many train wrecks of our youth, we do our best to leave the sequel of corpses on the tracks and walk away.
Some are better at it than others.
I’m not a huge Cheap Trick fan but I absolutely love this song. https://youtu.be/tL251usi-K8 It reminds me of all this and everyone I just wrote about.
I live very close to Fremont Street Experience. Within walking distance. Cheap Trick is playing on (I imagine) the main stage August 24th. I’m not a huge fan but it would be interesting to see if they’ll play my song.
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