Heathens!!

I don't care if you don't like this shirt, Angela! 

Go, Church Of Latter Day Saints! I'm knocking on all your doors next Sunday! 

"Hello. Would you like to experience the power of Christ? Too bad! I have the keys to your house!"

Bet you regret THAT decision now, don't ya.  

Buddhists don't HAVE to read the Bible. But it's allowed. I've read it many times. I own a Bible. I joke about Christianity, because I invested yeeeeeeaaaaars in the religion and then one day realized if you take away the words GOD and JESUS in all the scriptures and passages, the messages still mean the exact same thing. I know. Shocking. 

Why ARE there so many Mormons in Vegas?? 

You do know the power of Vegas is STRONGER than God. A three month mission here will turn your lovely daughter into a fat chain smoking drunk leopard print thong clad stripper, addicted to all you can eat $7.99 buffets and gambling!  

THIS GUY.... This guy needs God. 

He needs God to help him write emails.