Just because,
Back when I lived in San Francisco, one day I got on an Amtrak train, then another, then another, and rode around the country, stopped in Minnesota, visit family, then got back on another Amtrak train, then another, then another, until I was back in San Francisco. I saw the countryside. I wrote a lot. I read more. I drank expensive little bottles from the bar cart. Finally experienced a train dining car (nothing like in the movies). And I met a guy.
Wish I still had the writings from that trip.
I want to go somewhere. Anywhere but here.
FINALLY got around to seeing the movie ST. VINCENT. Loved it. As much as I love Bill Murray, Naomi Watts, as Daka, was brilliant. And the movie reminded me why I love movies in the first place --to go somewhere else.
In his later years, my dad only wanted me to be happy. That was a big deal to him, being happy. I'm happiest when I'm with my friends. They don't want or expect anything from me. If I could meet a guy I like who doesn't make me feel like I HAVE to do this (thing) with him or we're not speaking to each other for 7 months, I could actually be happy there too. Never happens. I'm always having to deal with ultimatums put on me, where I have to do (this) and I have to do (that) or else. Nothing good comes from it and yet men continue doing this.
I like what I like, but I don't get mad if you're not into it. I'll do it with, or without you. Live and let live. Know what I mean? But some people...
They don't want to do it with you, so (in their mind) you must not want to do it anymore. Or doing it without them will somehow lessen the experience for you. But you and I know, that's just not reality.
In preparing my eternal rest, I'm doing so as a single woman. If I get married I'll adjust, but I'm not looking to get married specifically for that reason. The whole, "I don't want to die alone" I'm guessing isn't going to be the final thought going through my mind, knowing myself as I do.
I'd like someone to take my ashesand go somewhere they've never been but always wanted to go. You could use the excuse, "I have to lay my friend to rest" as reason to take off work. I dare any employer to challenge that. And I'll leave all of whatever money I have just for this specific task.
The details need some hammering out.
This cremation place will even let me write my own obituary.
In talking with friends, it seems everyone knows where they want to be buried, or have their ashes spread.
How do you guys know??
I have no clue.
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
For my birthday I'm giving myself
An urn! No kidding.
People think they're going to live forever. Not me. I give myself 10 more years and that's being generous. I'm not a drug user. I don't smoke. I'm not promiscuous. I do however run my body and mind into the ground at least four days a week. Before it was six days a week and I've been doing it for YEARS. It's a nervous tick. Habitual tension. Mental anxiety. Fuck this feeble human body I have things to do!
A.D.D. OCD. I internalize EVERYTHING.
Hello, Heart Disease!
I'm severely irritated if I have to stop what I'm doing because I have to pee, or sleep, or eat, or be somewhere else. Drives me insane. And I know I'm not alone or it wouldn't be a reoccurring question on every psyche evaluation.
If I need this 95 pound (something) from the top shelf NOW, I'll get a hernia, hemorrhoids, and a brain aneurysm, pulling it down myself rather than waiting 15 minutes for help. It's kind of unfair really. I'm an organ donor and I'm constantly beating myself up.
Performing inventory on my organs, ok look, the heart, lungs, and liver are all shot to hell, BUT my eyes are still good, possibly both kidneys, I'm freakishly strong, I can lift my end of the couch up three flights of stairs no problem, though I have no idea what organ you would pitch that to for a potential donor recipient. The pancreas??
I can't question anymore WHY people are dying so young these days. All I can can do is prepare.
I've chosen to be cremated. Upon doing my research, I'm impressed with how modern these cremation places have become. I'm an organ donor, so god willing I die in public, one cremation place will retrieve my body from the hospital to the cremation (place) in the event I'm single and there is no one available to make other arrangements. I think I'm just supposed to carry the papers around on my body so there's instructions what to do in the event of my death. All, of course, within 40 miles. The cremation place will retrieve my body free of charge within 40 miles. I mean they're not a limousine service.
So...
I'm gonna be cremated. There's biodegradable urns. Pretty cool.
If you've already made the decision to be cremated, why buy a $1,570 cast bronze urn? Why be cremated just to linger in an urn on someone's shelf? Tons of money spent on domestic technology to rid dust from your house. The last thing I want is to be the debris in someone's house equivalent to dust they can't get rid of.
Just know, if someone expects you to keep an urn of their ashes in your house, that someone, hates you.
People think they're going to live forever. Not me. I give myself 10 more years and that's being generous. I'm not a drug user. I don't smoke. I'm not promiscuous. I do however run my body and mind into the ground at least four days a week. Before it was six days a week and I've been doing it for YEARS. It's a nervous tick. Habitual tension. Mental anxiety. Fuck this feeble human body I have things to do!
A.D.D. OCD. I internalize EVERYTHING.
Hello, Heart Disease!
I'm severely irritated if I have to stop what I'm doing because I have to pee, or sleep, or eat, or be somewhere else. Drives me insane. And I know I'm not alone or it wouldn't be a reoccurring question on every psyche evaluation.
If I need this 95 pound (something) from the top shelf NOW, I'll get a hernia, hemorrhoids, and a brain aneurysm, pulling it down myself rather than waiting 15 minutes for help. It's kind of unfair really. I'm an organ donor and I'm constantly beating myself up.
Performing inventory on my organs, ok look, the heart, lungs, and liver are all shot to hell, BUT my eyes are still good, possibly both kidneys, I'm freakishly strong, I can lift my end of the couch up three flights of stairs no problem, though I have no idea what organ you would pitch that to for a potential donor recipient. The pancreas??
I can't question anymore WHY people are dying so young these days. All I can can do is prepare.
I've chosen to be cremated. Upon doing my research, I'm impressed with how modern these cremation places have become. I'm an organ donor, so god willing I die in public, one cremation place will retrieve my body from the hospital to the cremation (place) in the event I'm single and there is no one available to make other arrangements. I think I'm just supposed to carry the papers around on my body so there's instructions what to do in the event of my death. All, of course, within 40 miles. The cremation place will retrieve my body free of charge within 40 miles. I mean they're not a limousine service.
So...
I'm gonna be cremated. There's biodegradable urns. Pretty cool.
If you've already made the decision to be cremated, why buy a $1,570 cast bronze urn? Why be cremated just to linger in an urn on someone's shelf? Tons of money spent on domestic technology to rid dust from your house. The last thing I want is to be the debris in someone's house equivalent to dust they can't get rid of.
Just know, if someone expects you to keep an urn of their ashes in your house, that someone, hates you.
Saturday, December 24, 2016
They're right about you
"You're a bloody psychopath."
High functioning sociopath. With your number. --SH
I'm avoiding everyone, binge watching Sherlock, with Benedict Cumberbatch, and Martin Freeman (as Dr. John Watson)... white Christmas lights glowing everywhere in the background.
I know. I know. I saw all the 'Sherlock' eps with Aramis, back in 2012, but here we are again.
My dad's widow gave me some childhood photos she found around their house. Christmas was my dad's holiday. He really loved it. Put everything together. Decorations. Did all the cooking. He was the cheer of the holiday. All holidays really. Without him now... we're just... well I'm binge watching Sherlock.
Truthfully, even if dad were alive today on Christmas Eve, I would still be in a quiet room binge watching Sherlock.
I appreciate the spirit of the holidays, but being non religious, a cynic, nonetheless spending a festive day with friends and loved ones, it is, for me, just another day.
My lungs can't take the cold. I have bad lungs. It cut my cigarette smoking down to a mere 10 years of consumption resulting in a lung infection, doctor's office, second lung infection, hospital, respiratory infection, hospital, almost died, thus no more cigarettes. I've sneaked one or two since I quit years ago, point being, my lungs can no longer stand the cold, or being around constant smokers...
Which is why during the months of December-March I'm held up where I think I'll be bothered the least by remaining family. Success!!!!
I would happily spend Christmas Eve alone with my dad's widow, just she and I, but the moment another member of family entered the room... well... thank god for wine, headsets and Netflix.
Both my grandfathers died young, when I was very young. My dad's dad, my grandpa in Utah, died very suddenly. I was very little. I remember one evening dad getting a phone call, and the next day he was on a plane back to Utah to bury my grandfather. In those days you didn't talk about death. Grandpa died. The end. These are the last photos of me and my grandpa before he died.
https://instagram.com/p/BObJPFih-J5/
https://instagram.com/p/BObJck-B_-U/
I only ever knew my other grandfather, the one from Minnesota, laying in bed at home hooked up to life support machines. I only ever knew him while he was dying. And then one day he wasn't in bed anymore.
Both my grandmothers died when I was in my 20's. And my father died last year. These (were) all the people I loved to be around. So as you can imagine, holidays with my family now, for me, are nothing more than a thin herd of people I often hear myself replying "Why??" when they say things like, "We should spend more time together."
Needless to say I'm not the type of person to participate in "ugly Christmas sweater day." I prefer spending my holidays with people I like, sharing a meal, drink, or just hanging out watching movies. I find the way adults treat holidays with other adults rather suspect. Take for example Valentine's Day. I have google. I read about Saint Valentine. But WHY does that translate into (the one day) where love and/or romance demands acknowledgement above all other days, with possibly the acceptance of your wedding anniversary? Why can't my lover surprise me with a home cooked meal and a foot massage, out of the blue one day in June, and say, "Happy Valentines Day." Isn't every day Valentines Day, for lovers?
Anyway, for you religious holiday people, this next photo is for you. If there truly is a Heaven, and by some chance I found my way there, you can blame this guy, the one I'm apparently trying to strangle https://instagram.com/p/BObJsSHhsKO/
Merry Christmas🎄if you insist. As you can see I found it all rather suspicious back then as well https://instagram.com/p/BObKCAzB2__/
High functioning sociopath. With your number. --SH
I'm avoiding everyone, binge watching Sherlock, with Benedict Cumberbatch, and Martin Freeman (as Dr. John Watson)... white Christmas lights glowing everywhere in the background.
I know. I know. I saw all the 'Sherlock' eps with Aramis, back in 2012, but here we are again.
My dad's widow gave me some childhood photos she found around their house. Christmas was my dad's holiday. He really loved it. Put everything together. Decorations. Did all the cooking. He was the cheer of the holiday. All holidays really. Without him now... we're just... well I'm binge watching Sherlock.
Truthfully, even if dad were alive today on Christmas Eve, I would still be in a quiet room binge watching Sherlock.
I appreciate the spirit of the holidays, but being non religious, a cynic, nonetheless spending a festive day with friends and loved ones, it is, for me, just another day.
My lungs can't take the cold. I have bad lungs. It cut my cigarette smoking down to a mere 10 years of consumption resulting in a lung infection, doctor's office, second lung infection, hospital, respiratory infection, hospital, almost died, thus no more cigarettes. I've sneaked one or two since I quit years ago, point being, my lungs can no longer stand the cold, or being around constant smokers...
Which is why during the months of December-March I'm held up where I think I'll be bothered the least by remaining family. Success!!!!
I would happily spend Christmas Eve alone with my dad's widow, just she and I, but the moment another member of family entered the room... well... thank god for wine, headsets and Netflix.
Both my grandfathers died young, when I was very young. My dad's dad, my grandpa in Utah, died very suddenly. I was very little. I remember one evening dad getting a phone call, and the next day he was on a plane back to Utah to bury my grandfather. In those days you didn't talk about death. Grandpa died. The end. These are the last photos of me and my grandpa before he died.
https://instagram.com/p/BObJPFih-J5/
https://instagram.com/p/BObJck-B_-U/
I only ever knew my other grandfather, the one from Minnesota, laying in bed at home hooked up to life support machines. I only ever knew him while he was dying. And then one day he wasn't in bed anymore.
Both my grandmothers died when I was in my 20's. And my father died last year. These (were) all the people I loved to be around. So as you can imagine, holidays with my family now, for me, are nothing more than a thin herd of people I often hear myself replying "Why??" when they say things like, "We should spend more time together."
Needless to say I'm not the type of person to participate in "ugly Christmas sweater day." I prefer spending my holidays with people I like, sharing a meal, drink, or just hanging out watching movies. I find the way adults treat holidays with other adults rather suspect. Take for example Valentine's Day. I have google. I read about Saint Valentine. But WHY does that translate into (the one day) where love and/or romance demands acknowledgement above all other days, with possibly the acceptance of your wedding anniversary? Why can't my lover surprise me with a home cooked meal and a foot massage, out of the blue one day in June, and say, "Happy Valentines Day." Isn't every day Valentines Day, for lovers?
Anyway, for you religious holiday people, this next photo is for you. If there truly is a Heaven, and by some chance I found my way there, you can blame this guy, the one I'm apparently trying to strangle https://instagram.com/p/BObJsSHhsKO/
Merry Christmas🎄if you insist. As you can see I found it all rather suspicious back then as well https://instagram.com/p/BObKCAzB2__/
Monday, December 19, 2016
Because I'm walking and blogging
And can't hold a thought in my head longer than 30 seconds at a time.
Not to be cold but
The amount of fuck I give regarding Prime Ministers, compared to what happens here on U.S. soil, well there is no comparison. It's another terrible political death, nothing less, nothing more.
Edit: My bad. Embassador. All that I wrote up there still applies. Just more so.
Edit: My bad. Embassador. All that I wrote up there still applies. Just more so.
Bad timing
My last two "blogs" were just quotes from Sherlock Holmes.
Hearing Moscow, say "We haven't bombed Aleppo, since October 18" is like hearing a junkie say, "I haven't shot up in two months. I'm totally clean now."
I wonder what percentage of U.S. Military think they should be in Aleppo?
Hearing Moscow, say "We haven't bombed Aleppo, since October 18" is like hearing a junkie say, "I haven't shot up in two months. I'm totally clean now."
I wonder what percentage of U.S. Military think they should be in Aleppo?
Sunday, December 18, 2016
And by "stocker" you mean
He comes to my house when I'm out and arranges my canned goods into little pyramids?
This
is going to make a good story. Not great. But good.
Better than your 'I don't rape women' story.
He's old with Alzheimers. What's your excuse?
Better than your 'I don't rape women' story.
He's old with Alzheimers. What's your excuse?
Saturday, December 17, 2016
Friday, December 16, 2016
Stop giving out your phone number
I used a disposable phone for YEARS. Now I use kik, signal, shadowed by ninjas to meet and greets, and hire snipers to sit on the roof if dates come over. WELCOME TO OUR WORLD.
There's emails sitting in my inbox right now from people who have messaged me over a dozen times I CLEARLY have no interest meeting, or lost interest years ago... but there they are again.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
You're not supposed to
...hit on your driver. Though I've been hit on many times by limo drivers taking us to strip clubs. So...
Depends on the company?
Depends on the company?
Adam
My hot Lyft driver just fist me!
Fist bump me.
He fist bump me.
I didn't know we were supposed to do that.
So... Like... I know this is kinda... inappropriate... but... Now that you know where I'm staying... What time ya get off?;)
Fist bump me.
He fist bump me.
I didn't know we were supposed to do that.
So... Like... I know this is kinda... inappropriate... but... Now that you know where I'm staying... What time ya get off?;)
I want you to WANT to
....wash the dishes!
Whaa..... Why?
Why is that important?
Dishes are dirty. Wash them. Regardless if you want to or not.
The whole "I want you to want to" as though making money isn't enough, doesn't make sense to me. I want to make money. You want to make money. See, this is probably the only place where I relate with other Koreans. Let's make some money. We may not like each other but if we all do our jobs properly we all make some money.
Earning a living is not an unconscionable concept.
Whaa..... Why?
Why is that important?
Dishes are dirty. Wash them. Regardless if you want to or not.
The whole "I want you to want to" as though making money isn't enough, doesn't make sense to me. I want to make money. You want to make money. See, this is probably the only place where I relate with other Koreans. Let's make some money. We may not like each other but if we all do our jobs properly we all make some money.
Earning a living is not an unconscionable concept.
My dream job
Pay me to hang out with my friends. Pay me to hang out with people I love and care about.
If you say NO
There will be 1,000 people instantly trying to get you to say YES. Power struggle. It's their weakness. Use it to your advantage. Then again, perhaps this only works for women.
Why do you want to work here?
For the paycheck. Cash money.
Is there any other answer?
Why? Because you pay me to, or I wouldn't bother.
Is there any other answer?
Why? Because you pay me to, or I wouldn't bother.
Thursday, December 8, 2016
High school smoking lounge
Remember? We had one. Every high school back then had a smoking lounge for juniors, seniors, and staff. You'd see the science teacher flicking a bick for the kid he graded a D- on the last exam. Smoking lounges, M80's, fist fights. What happened to fist fights?? Bar fights?? FIGHT CLUB! Everyone just grabs a gun now and starts shooting.
It wasn't perfect then. But it's far worse now than we ever imagined.
It wasn't perfect then. But it's far worse now than we ever imagined.
It's like when we were kids
And we'd cross the boarder into Canada, near the end of June, and buy M80's off some roadside "fireworks" stand. M80's, cheap Heineken, and Native American jewelry.
You know, Fourth of July, stuff.
You know, Fourth of July, stuff.
Garage days revisited
I'm not saying you shouldn't. I'm just saying that's not what it's used for.
Do your thing
I got bail money;)
Do your thing
I got bail money;)
SOME women are very smart
They'll lift a man up or down for her amusement. It's not that those men are stupid, it's that he's not guarded 24/7 and some women will wait, and wait, and wait, until they see an opening.
I know those women
Very well
It's a pity they only play with men
She's tiny like me
She can pull that pity out of you anytime she wants. Half the fun of you knowing, is so it makes her game more challenging. Read C. Jung. He explains how/why people divide within themselves the good from bad, securing all that is decent and loving in a well guarded place, allowing them to indulge the evils of man, or in this case, woman. Very few female serial killers reported in history because most women are nurture by nature, but those who are not are very rarely caught, because like most women, once she has her mind set on something she is meticulous with details alongside a premeditated drive. If more women studied psychology, we would be the most ruthless of generals in any war.
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Yo MC!
You mean learn to PISS! Something that comes natural. You're gonna teach me how to piss? Neat. So something I did uncontrollably in my diapers as a baby (and again in oh heck let's say 20 years) turns you on??
Days of Oakland
And Berkeley. And San Francisco. China Town. The Omni. The Bay Area. My first home away from home. My second tattoo. The first place I was called an Asian Barbie doll, of course by some ugly white chick, and my second girl on girl bar fight! Good times.;) (SF)The Stone. Death Angel. Testament. Like Tony Bennett, (SF) I left my heart in San Francisco...
The Bay Area has all my love and compassion. It's where I left my heart.
The Omni.
Met people who I'm still friends with today. Good people.
You have all my love and compassion.
The Bay Area has all my love and compassion. It's where I left my heart.
The Omni.
Met people who I'm still friends with today. Good people.
You have all my love and compassion.
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
I wanted to buy porn
But after a half hour shopping for something hot and sexy, there was nothing! The women were flat chested 12 year old boys, or they were spitting on each other, or pissing, or the guys were trolls, or it was all about anal sex (major turn off!!) or the women were hideous, or there was pussy hair (yuck!!)...
Don't beautiful people just fuck on film anymore??
No kidding no one pays for porn anymore. Pay for what?! Everything that doesn't turn me on. NO ONE makes porn for straight women!
Don't beautiful people just fuck on film anymore??
No kidding no one pays for porn anymore. Pay for what?! Everything that doesn't turn me on. NO ONE makes porn for straight women!
It's not pee!
It's squirt. The magical potion of estrogen and menstrual cycles. Caffeine free and citrus flavored. Mmmmmmmmmm!!! She said with sarcasm.
I love uneducated white people
Who are oblivious to female human anatomy. You guys are awesomely stupid. Good times!;)
How do you NOT laugh?!
Robert, is the uncle who will take you to a strip club/taxidermy, and then gripe for three hours about "fairies" taking over the world... And Jay, is the uncle who will fly in barely legal prostitutes from Hong Kong, while complaining about the poor work ethics of millennials. "Look at these hard working young girls from Hong Kong! They're willing to travel to the U.S. to earn their living! American girls, are just lazy!"
Bunch old old guys talking stupid. How do you not laugh?! It's funny!
Monday, December 5, 2016
"buttons"
I will never understand it. If you say, "This button came from a man's shirt" and "that button came from a woman's shirt. They're both still buttons!
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're queer, you're here, and I'm used to it!
I guess what I'm trying to say is, you're queer, you're here, and I'm used to it!
Which queers?
Who are "those queers" exactly? West Hollywood queers, Miami queers? ?? Not San Francisco, those dudes are just straight up fags.;) FYI I think only queers call gay men queers. Except Fabian. Everyone knows he only loves lady butts. And by "lady butts" I mean...
Saturday, December 3, 2016
Friday, December 2, 2016
Ya know, sometimes I wonder
If these guys ever want their engagement rings back? Like the guy who proposed to me when I was 25 years old, who told me to hang on to the ring, does he still think there's a chance we're getting married?
Thursday, December 1, 2016
Technically 5'1... maybe?
Although to be (perfectly) honest I personally stopped measuring myself at 5 feet. I really don't know if I'm 5'2. When I get physicals I never ask. I just say 5'2 because it sounds better than 5'1. Plus I'm always wearing heels.
My friends kids were taller than me by the time they entered junior high school, if that's any indication.
My friends kids were taller than me by the time they entered junior high school, if that's any indication.
Dominate little tiny me?
If some guy were to ever TRY the whole power/dominant game with me, I would hope all his male buddies would give him endless shit by saying, "So you dominated her huh? Wow bro. What is she, size 4, 5'2? And you dominated her? Seriously bro, that's, that's fucking impressive."
I'm single. It's not swinging.
I'm not going to stand there, do nothing, and watch my date fuck some woman. I need attention/cock too. That's why FMF sucks for me. I'll just get bored. And if I'm not into the chick at all, there's absolutely no need for me to be there.
"Women only"
He doesn't want to watch his wife fuck another dude. I can see him sending her out to get fucked by another guy if she's driving him mental and he wants the house to himself!
It's also why I will never give up having my own little place on the side. I like the all knowing discreet "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I understand polyamory. Do the naughty things with your side chick you don't want to knowingly see your wife doing. That's your wife. Mother of your kids.
I have more love and respect for marriage, than most people think.
It's also why I will never give up having my own little place on the side. I like the all knowing discreet "don't ask, don't tell" policy. I understand polyamory. Do the naughty things with your side chick you don't want to knowingly see your wife doing. That's your wife. Mother of your kids.
I have more love and respect for marriage, than most people think.
gimme stranger danger!
It's why people (myself included) love amateur porn, we don't know who they are. I've seen dudes I've hooked up with in the past, in porn movies and I'm like, "ehh pass". I know that dude. Not hot.
It's hot until you know them. Then the lust and fantasy is gone. It's just how I'm wired.
It's hot until you know them. Then the lust and fantasy is gone. It's just how I'm wired.
Stranger danger!
Dozens of men have declared their love for me, and none of them have ever wanted to see me fuck another guy. Play separate, sure. Sit around and watch some dude fuck me, no. I wouldn't want him to either. How is that NOT being cuckold? "Oh my god his cock feels so good baby!" And the love of your life is just sitting there doing nothing, watching, how is that NOT being a cuckold? I wouldn't want my guy, who I loved, just sitting there. I'd lose respect for him. Love does things to the mind. I could only love a masculine dominant man over other men. But that's how I'm wired. It's also why I remain single. I love men to watch. Just not MY man.
I understand when single men say, "I could never enjoy watching a woman I love fuck another guy." I get it. I'm wired the same way. I don't care if he fucks other women but I'm not just going to stand there and watch. Strangers, sure. Absolutely. I can watch strangers fuck. It's hot. Someone I'm in love with however, probably not.
I tried getting my childhood love to swing with me, but he is far wiser than I am. I'd hate THAT to be thing that breaks up our lifelong friendship/companionship.
I understand when single men say, "I could never enjoy watching a woman I love fuck another guy." I get it. I'm wired the same way. I don't care if he fucks other women but I'm not just going to stand there and watch. Strangers, sure. Absolutely. I can watch strangers fuck. It's hot. Someone I'm in love with however, probably not.
I tried getting my childhood love to swing with me, but he is far wiser than I am. I'd hate THAT to be thing that breaks up our lifelong friendship/companionship.
Madly in love?
If these couples spent less time trying to convince the world how "madly in love" they are with each other, and more time just BEING in love, their love would actually seem believable.
He probably shouldn't say
"But you look like a kid" and "you could totally still do porn" in the same sentence.
That's such a gross turn off.
I've never had a genuine interest. My body, my rules. I'm picky. I don't care if I have sex or not. Makes no difference to me. I'm perfectly sexually happy masturbating. The sex industry has spent billions for women to perfect masturbation so we don't need a man around. I much rather you watch, want, get angry, jerk off, than touch me. If I'm not into you 120% we're not having sex. I've settled before just for the experience and it was the worst sex ever. No thanks.
That's such a gross turn off.
I've never had a genuine interest. My body, my rules. I'm picky. I don't care if I have sex or not. Makes no difference to me. I'm perfectly sexually happy masturbating. The sex industry has spent billions for women to perfect masturbation so we don't need a man around. I much rather you watch, want, get angry, jerk off, than touch me. If I'm not into you 120% we're not having sex. I've settled before just for the experience and it was the worst sex ever. No thanks.
Blue tape
When you're in your 80's, do you think you'll still feel 50, or is it all dementia by then?