Years ago, years from now

Just because,

Back when I lived in San Francisco, one day I got on an Amtrak train, then another, then another, and rode around the country, stopped in Minnesota, visit family, then got back on another Amtrak train, then another, then another, until I was back in San Francisco. I saw the countryside. I wrote a lot. I read more. I drank expensive little bottles from the bar cart. Finally experienced a train dining car (nothing like in the movies). And I met a guy.

Wish I still had the writings from that trip.

I want to go somewhere. Anywhere but here.

FINALLY got around to seeing the movie ST. VINCENT. Loved it. As much as I love Bill Murray, Naomi Watts, as Daka, was brilliant. And the movie reminded me why I love movies in the first place --to go somewhere else.

In his later years, my dad only wanted me to be happy. That was a big deal to him, being happy. I'm happiest when I'm with my friends. They don't want or expect anything from me. If I could meet a guy I like who doesn't make me feel like I HAVE to do this (thing) with him or we're not speaking to each other for 7 months, I could actually be happy there too. Never happens. I'm always having to deal with ultimatums put on me, where I have to do (this) and I have to do (that) or else. Nothing good comes from it and yet men continue doing this.

I like what I like, but I don't get mad if you're not into it. I'll do it with, or without you. Live and let live. Know what I mean? But some people...

They don't want to do it with you, so (in their mind) you must not want to do it anymore. Or doing it without them will somehow lessen the experience for you. But you and I know, that's just not reality.

In preparing my eternal rest, I'm doing so as a single woman. If I get married I'll adjust, but I'm not looking to get married specifically for that reason. The whole, "I don't want to die alone" I'm guessing isn't going to be the final thought going through my mind, knowing myself as I do.

I'd like someone to take my ashesand go somewhere they've never been but always wanted to go. You could use the excuse, "I have to lay my friend to rest" as reason to take off work. I dare any employer to challenge that. And I'll leave all of whatever money I have just for this specific task.

The details need some hammering out.

This cremation place will even let me write my own obituary.

In talking with friends, it seems everyone knows where they want to be buried, or have their ashes spread.

How do you guys know??

I have no clue.