Domo arigato Mr. Kamui-san

San Francisco, is the city where things randomly happen to me, lingers, and then turns us both into something else.

Forever.

Kismet.

Enter Mr. Kamui-san.

His name, Kamui, translated in English, means "Power of God".

(A little back history.)

I play poker: Texas Holdem, Five Card Draw, even Pai Gow (but only a few times.) 

I don't play often and I invest in far less playing Poker than what you spend a year on gas money for just one car.

I'm not a terribly great Poker player but I'm not horrible at it either. When I lose it isn't by much and I can play for hours, sometimes on only a $75 initial investment. I even enjoy watching others play Poker, live or on TV, doesn't matter.

(End of back history.)

I met Mr. Kamui-san in a gambling establishment owned, operated, and entirely patronized by Asians. Very awkward for me being as how I was raised in the Midwest and speak hardly any Korean, be that as it may, I'm welcomed all the same just for (not) being (White) Asian.   

In Vegas, and in other gambling establishments, in certain social networks, Asian and European men love to watch girls play poker, but only if she really plays. It doesn't matter what ethnicity she is, so long as she's manicured, cute, dressed nice, sexy, etc., they'll not only watch her play, they'll put chips down on the table for her to gamble with. In part to keep the game going, and in part just to be genteel for standing behind or beside her. It's very addicting, not the Poker, but playing poker with other peoples' money. And naturally you want to win them money, or at very least keep the game hot.  

Anyway,

I walked into this all-Asian gambling establishment. The men thought I was either a dealer or a prostitute because there were no women gambling. So I turned to leave.

As a woman gambler, even an amateur gambler, you never want the reputation of being a prostitute, though you're not a prostitute, you still don't want the misconception. Rumors travel fast.That's not a judgment on prostitutes, but men who truly love to see women gamble, won't give a woman gambler money if she has the reputation of being a prostitute, false as it may be. Peaches and plums. 

The vibe in the air will tell you if women are welcome. If the vibe says leave, you leave. If you stay, you will be treated as a hooker. That's just the way it is.

Usually there's a small handful of Asian women gambling. Not this time. Not this place.

(Skipping a few details)

I met Mr. Kamui-san, at a table by the door. Sitting next to him was his "English translator". It's not uncommon for Asian men to pretend they don't speak English, especially at a poker table where English is the primary language spoken, even among Asians. 

I only had the opportunity to meet Mr. Kamui-san, when I paused at the door after spotting some Asian girlie magazines on the floor rack. Some of the magazines had Asian girls in cheap Kimonos, tied up about as bas as their Kimonos. I lingered for a second and then walked out the door.

This got Mr. Kamui-san's attention who followed me outside with his translator.

In our very brief conversation through his "translator" I told Mr. Kamui-san I started roping not long ago. I mentioned how it's quite similar to knitting only your hands are the knitting sticks.

It's true. Shibari uses the same knots to bind on and off, as knitting. Same patterns too. I knit. 10 years. And now I know why I liked it so much!   

(Skipping ahead.)
 
Mr. Kamui-san inquired after S&M and B&D. I very (very!) politely informed the translator, "If any man were to raise a hand to me, he better kill me. Because if I'm still alive afterwards, I would duct tape him down into a chair, and slowly inject his veins with air, just to watch the slow creep of death in his eyes."

I doubt the translator converted those exact words to Japanese, but nonetheless...

Mr. Kamui-san, with a very serious facial expression, informed me he knew a man who could help me with my mission at hand, concerning the binding of rope.

(Skipping waaaay ahead and the whole reason for this blog)

Now,

The truly interesting thing about Mr Kamui-san,

Even though he looks like he makes Medieval torture chambers in his spare time,

Is that,

He loves cereal.

As in,

Cereal!

I took these pictures with great caution.

He had other cereals too but,

Last thing I want to do is die because I messed with the Power of God's cereal !!

 

1. Lucky Charms

 

 

2. Bran Flakes. Maybe Frosted Flakes?

 

 

3. No idea what cereal this is.

 

 

4. Raisin Bran

 

 

5. Chocolate Mountain (something?)

 

 

6. Original Grape-nuts

 

 

7. No idea what cereal this is

 

 

8. No idea what cereal this is. Chocolate Cheerios?

 

 

9. Grape-nuts Flakes

 

 

10. Almond Vanilla Granola Clusters

 

 

I love it!

 

Me. And this guy from Brussels.

Sigh. I can relate.

 

 

I tie myself up with synthetic rope. You, with real rope.

  

This photo is actually a yoga class in Belgium that uses rope. Interesting.

Things I do while talking on the phone

"What are you doing?"

 

Trying out a knee shackle. What are you doing?

 

.

 

It's not easy tying yourself up. But I always test it on myself first.

Email music

Read/write your emails with THIS playing in the background. It's fun. Trust me.

Fifty Shades of Grey

Totally seeing it. 

Watch this movie in the cinema and support the film industry

Or

Do nothing and tell everyone how I'm too cool to see it.  

Right.

Fifty Shades of Grey a movie based on the novel by E L James

beans and toast ala Dumas

My new favorite show, The Musketeers on BBC America.

Love this show!

Previously I was addicted to Copper and now eagerly await the third season of  Ripper Street. And who doesn't absolutely love the Graham Norton Show !

And being as how it is BBC America, I love their posh English accents.

BBC America, I get there's going to be mainly English actors,

However,

The Three Musketeers, according to Dumas, are French... being as how they are Musketeers of the guard... of the King... A French King... in Paris, 1800's.

Oh well.

D'artagnan, played by Luca Pasqualino, is dreamy, and Italian, so who cares.

But at least their French accents aren't from NY.

(cough) THIS

I love you Leo, it's just... no. 

POKER GAME

Tonight.

 

You play your way... we'll play our way.

 

 

Sensitivity Training. Failed it.

At least three times. Every time. Apparently there ARE tests Asians can fail besides the driving test!

To maintain my management license, every year I had to take a series of tests. One of which was a sensitivity test. And every year I failed it. Repeatedly. In my defense most of the questions on the test had only one correct answer, that answer being, "Are you fucking kidding me?!"

For example,

Question: A man in a wheelchair is approaching non automatic sliding doors. He is unable to open the door on his own. Do you...

A) Simply open the door for him
B) Wait for the man to ask you for assistance
C) Ask the man if he requires assistance

Because I failed this test so many damn times, I don't remember which one is the correct answer.

I, personally, would just open the door for him. I hold the door open for people all the time. Whatever. It's a simple thing. You just don't think about it. Courtesy. But two of these answers conflict with 'Quality of life' and preserving the man's dignity. Keeping that in mind, now go back and try answering that question... ?!

How are any of those answers the wrong answer?

I failed this test so many times, my supervisor had to sit behind me with the correct answers and read them to me while I took the test. Yeah, I cheated. Every time. But not just me. My supervisor also cheated for he had the cheat sheet answers in his hand, from which he read the answers to me. He didn't know the answers either.

No one knows what the answers are.

Just be happy (Dad!) that I didn't write in my own answer: D) Watch the man bang into the door repeatedly with his wheelchair while I film it on my cell phone cam to youtube later.  

I only did that once. It doesn't count!

WANTED! Hey MIT guys!

Is there a way you can get my phone to charge 10.99 per unwanted text from people who blow up my phone? And $20.99 per unwanted email?

Man, you guys would be so wealthy!

My grandma wrote, "You shouldn't put those things in your mouth, you don't know where they've been, dear? What kind of balls?"

After receiving my auto reply of "Balls in your mouth!"

It doesn't matter what kind of balls grandma, it all applies.

That's my Na'na. Always thinking hygiene.

Dirty white boys!

No. Not to be confused with white trash, or trailer trash, or white trailer trash... hot dogs and bologna! Put it right HERE.

I'm a writer. I write.

There. Now I've warned everyone. Again. Though I don't see why I have to mention I'm a writer on my BLOG. Seems self explanatory.

Brilliant.

The only difference is, my blog is hosted by Google.

Know how many people Google searched "Ginger Pussy" and found my blog about my friend's CAT? A lot of people.

If I wanted to boost my hits all I have to do is post the following...

Boots and Pants, and boots and pants, and boots and pants, and boots and pants....

There. 12,000 more hits!

It's so easy

To spot men who are secure in their manhood.

And those who are not.

Makes you wonder why they're being so defensive?

Pam says

Because of her sexual abuse, she has a deeper love and care for animals than the human race.

Join the club.

Everyone I've ever asked which they prefer, humans or animals, have all said animals.

Human beings are more often than not sick vile disgusting creatures. And still they breed more.

The only species on this planet to earn their existence are the very animals humans abuse and murder for sport.

Master Rigger

Naka Akira.

That's all that needs to be said. See his work HERE .

I like Rigging for it's creative artistry. It's poetry with rope. Sex in a web. Hot. Makes my clit throb!

Where you lose me (instantly) is with flogging and whipping. I don't find it sexy, at all. Can I watch it. Sure. Does it make me horny. No.

I don't find putting physical pain unto someone else, sexy. Even if pain is how they orgasm, I still don't find it sexy. Perhaps it's because pain is easy. I can grab a titanium bat and make you cry just the same. So what. How is that hot?

I've been whipped, electively. Had a partner (and Rigger) for a while, and tried hard to understand the lure and repeat of being smacked around. I just couldn't. My partner, the Rigger, in that adventure died in 2010. (I could write a book on this guy, but won't.)

Sex is no longer gratifying for me without a deep penetrating psychological pull, thrust, connection.

It turns me on to get in your head. This isn't exactly a secret.

Shibari, for me, is art. And as can be expected many in the S&M/B&D scene will scream "Poser" without the whips and chains, but Shibari, is to my understanding, the act of binding. Yes?

Bound sex is hot. Can be hot.

[Note: All acts by consenting adults.]

It's just not sexy (to me) seeing anyone get hit.

Although,

I always welcome a challenge.

It is my line of thought if you can stand a foot away from someone, without threats, and still get them to do your sexual bidding, that is a sign of true dominance over another human being.

Perhaps you could talk me into it, bridle me with lyrical verbiage into getting whipped.

Maybe I can talk a straight guy into putting a dick in his mouth.

Wait. Did I say maybe?

Those other fetish sites

I've been on those. The more commercial they are, the more horrible they are, big clue, if you see advertisements on the webpage boarders for tampons and Pepsi products. Hmm I wonder how those got there?

Also,

The only parties thrown in that scene that were jaw dropping unbelievable were hosted by gay men, primarily for gay men. Straights have never hosted a party like the gays. Not in this dept. Not ever. If you're a straight woman and like seeing perfectly chiseled, gorgeous hot guys in bondage, get you some rich gay male friends, girl!

I suggest

Chelsea
Manhattan
West Hollywood
San Francisco
Miami

So Hot. So Not.

I just turned friends on to this website and now they're hooked too. Psychological warfare. Mind games. Some of this stuff, the acts being performed, are smoking hot, but they went out and got the most unattractive people to perform it, intentionally! 

Or,

And also,

They got the hottest people to perform some of the most painful things!

Like this one guy, so hot, muscles everywhere, gorgeous face, perfect hair, completely naked, but, well, lets just say there's two long poles of bamboo, a lot of rope, and his dick and balls are not where they're supposed to be!!

Your brain is horrified, but your body is a little turned on. Or vice versa.

Total conflict.

Warning!: There's only a few Daiso stores in California. Stock up if you're going to spend time on this website. The only remedy to this addiction is sewing Daiso animal heads. Cool. MERP! needs friends!

Sheep goes Merp!

Sunday morning. Back on the website I've been obsessing over. I've seen some things. Done some things. This, however,  is a whole other level of "things."

None of it's sexy. None of it. Except for the excellent bondage work, the true craftsmanship, really beautiful.

Nonetheless, 

It's intriguing.

Horror sex. That's what I call it. Snuff films gone bad. Really bad. It's the new thing. Or an old thing I just Janie-come-lately upon. It totally squashes all desire to have sex. And now suddenly I'm making sheep heads. Hmm... ?

Sheep heads, you know... 

I bought this cute little sheep for $1.80 @Daiso. My friend wants to help make it. Excellent. I need all the help I can get. Sewing is involved!

I decided to name the little guy Merp! 


"And what was your inspiration for this piece?"

Well,this one particular website that mixes train wrecks and sex, and sewing together this little sheep I named MERP! Next question?

 

Usually wine, sex, general life aggravation, and boredom inspires me to be creative.

 

This could be an improvement.

 

Does this mean you don't want to cuddle?

I don't wait. If I don't have to wait I'm not going to. It's not that I'm impatient, I just hate waiting. If it's a beautiful day out and I want to play in the sun, I'm not going to wait 3 hours for someone to get back to me. A no response IS a response. No worries. We'll hook up next time. All good.

But then,

There are people who want you to wait. They want you to want to wait. Because it means something. I don't know what it means, but it means something... to them.

So my afternoon has to be ruined because you need me to make you feel something?

No.

It's like blah-hoo and Google. I have one Google account, and like ten different blah-hoo accounts, it's how I communicate with people from CL when I'm really horny and surfing baseball bat sized... refrigerators.

And you know my refrigerator emails are pretty damn hot. I write full-knowing blah-hoo reads my emails. I'm a pervert/exhibitionist that way. You're welcome. I don't blame you. I would read my emails too!

Does Google get jealous? I don't think so. I think he's just happy I'm not shaking the bed at 3am. ;) 

I think we have the same destination, we just arrive to it differently. At different times. Hopefully at different times! 

For me, today, tomorrow, whenever. I go when I want. When it's comfortable. When it feels good. That's the joy of being independent. If today isn't working, maybe tomorrow, next week, next month, next year?

And then there are people who just can't walk away. They have to beat a thing down into a bloody pulp. Create all this mess and drama. Scary really.

Po'tato, potat'o?  

I know,

Lets just get a drink, a few lap dances, and agree to keep the conversation light next time. Politics. Money. Religion. You know. Things we'll definitely agree on!

You just know he would be amazing

This is my second Jake Gyllenhaal internet squeeze. I love social media. Especially when Google informs me which Blog topics hit web chat circulation.

Today's word of the day is,

JAKEGYLLENHAAL

It's a word. Just thrust the letters all together in CAPS.

(You know you want to.)

I want to play flip-cup with Jimmy Fallon!

Ooh. I see. It's a drinking game. Yeah. Yeah. Ok. That's cool too.

Little Asian girl with a backpack

Any time I want traffic to stop so I can cross the street in (any) city, all I need to do is put on a backpack. Everyone thinks I'm a little kid. It's the funniest thing. "No honey, you go first" they wave on.

I just discovered Daiso. The best colors in eye shadow for $1.50.

奇妙な土地 !!

Yawn. Stretch. Hey!! What the...!! Oh no, wait. All good. False alarm. There's a Wells Fargo, and it's in English. I'm one with the world again.

 

"Best $1.80 I ever spent."

 

 

WOOF! Muzzle Neoprene $109.95 per !

I need a dozen of these bondage masks asap! I have an idea for a kick-ass Dorritos Superbowl commercial!

Horny. Not horny.

I just spent two hours looking at pictures on this website.

Edging the first hour, kinda hot, and then...

Well...

Just how far can you stick a metal rod down the shaft of a man's penis before it turns into an ER situation?

Is there a safe word? "Ouch? Stop. Quit it."

Not sexy.

Kind of gross.

Still joining.

They think I'm looking at Tinder, again. If the guys on Tinder were doing what these guys are doing on this website, I'd rejoin Facebook.

It's not hot. But you know if they're willing to shove things down their pee-hole, they'll probably do what I want too.

Maybe.

Let's find out!

You know when strangers tell you to check out a website

I'm so joining this one! I've have a particular... need. 

I can only write about it (over and over) to complete strangers for so long before my fingers begin to look like THIS.

It's always the clean cut guys in nice suits

That are the biggest perverts behind closed doors. Caught myself few times today twisting the leather strap on my notebook case around my hands just thinking about it.

Pervy

Does the degree of desired pervy sex dictate testosterone level?  

When I get rich and famous

When I get rich and famous all my houses will have three stories too, and a ton of stairs. Only by this time we'll all be 90 years old, struggling to get beyond the second step. The good news is, we'll still be motivated by competition to get up the remaining 896 steps.

4 Guys. 4 cups.

They're getting their testosterone tested. This is what straight men do. They compete for everything, even their testosterone level. Actually this is where fights among straight men end up, at the doctor's office getting their testosterone level tested. I'm getting mine tested too. Why not? How funny! I feel sorry for the guy who has lower testosterone level than me! You will never live it down. Never. Never. Never.  

Though I'm not entirely sure it's your spit they want in the cups. You might want to Google that so there's no surprises at the doctor's office. I don't mind getting poked with a needle but if it's more than twice someone's getting me ice cream afterwards!

Fabian introduced me to Tinder.

"You should get on it."

I'm not on Facebook so I can't use it, but the guys pictures are awesome!

"Don't like any of them! Not on my phone! Just look and pass."

Okay! Okay!  Don't worry. I'm sure the guy hand feeding the baby Jaguar with a baby bottle, wearing a Train concert t-shirt, camped somewhere remote in Central America with no running water, isn't interested in getting laid or he wouldn't have posted this picture! 

"It's just a hook-up site."

Are you sure?? This other guy is hang-gliding over Mount Kerinci, he says, "A fundraiser glide for the preservation of the Sumatran Tiger."

"That's in Indonesia."

Who cares! It's Tinder!

Leave it up to human beings to take a simple thing and make it complicated... again. 

The Wine List

2014

Bonterra - Cabernet Sauvignon

Mac Murray (ranch) – Pinot Noir

Coppola Votre Sante -- Pinot Noir

Wolfgang Puck -- Cabernet Sauvignon

Stateland - Cabernet Sauvignon

Line 39 - Pinot Noir

Trader Joe’s Grand Reserve - Cabernet Sauvignon

Bridlewood - Pinot Noir

Ray's Creek - Cabernet Sauvignon

Donovan Parke - Cabernet Sauvignon

Chateau Dumas Cenot - Bordeaux

Edna Valley - Pinot Noir

Fleur De Lyeth - Fleur De Lyeth. Red blend.

Folie a Deux - Pinot Noir 2012

Francis Coppola - Cabernet Sauvignon, Director's

Chateau Ste. Michelle - Cabernet Sauvignon

Parkers Estate - Pinot Noir

Educated Guess - Cabernet Sauvignon


2013

Stonehedge - Old Vine Zinfandel

Hess Select - Pinot Noir

Hess Select - Cabernet Sauvignon

Souverain - Merlot

Wild Horse - Pinot Noir

Mark West - Pinot Noir

Nutty nouveau riche

However you guys want to decorate your ceilings with

(whatever these things are) it's your money!

Well hung and nicely stacked

Tonight...

 

 

Your enemies

Are my best friends.

Don't take this the wrong way

I never wanted to have sex with you.

I'm not in the sex trade.

Something else.

Entirely.

Does anyone know what she does for a living?

You clearly don't.

The smart ones do.

Smart like THIS

Not like THIS

Thanks for the attention!

Resulting in work. I could have done it without you. But you made it faster. :)

More than sex magic

Departing and listening to SONG #1

 

 

Lost in the clouds listening to SONG #2

 

 

Descending flight SONG #3

 

 

 Exiting the plane listening to SONG #4

 

 

And THIS boys, is how it's done!

 

 

Getting KINKY in my laboratory

Rock out with your cock out!

If this lab is a rockin' don't come a knockin'!

(Unless you have caffeine. It's only 9:18am.)

If you say so!

Spermophobia - Fear of germs.

9am, the party starts now!

Who cares there's no one at the pool. Suck it! EDM !

 

 

Because there's nothing worse than a ho hangover

"Looking for love in all the wrong places..."

 



Porker Tournament ??

Shot it in Vegas.

Sold out event.

Had a great buffet. 

Will be on Pay Per View next month.

Life is good when you're only five years old.

I said I was going to the Poker Tournament.

Poker.

But since you guys text multiple times asking where the "Porker Tournament" is, I'm thinking you really want it,

You want it bad.

Bacon whores.

Mmmmm bacon.

Chocolate covered bacon

Bacon but with chocolate

Sweet and salty bacon

Bacon, bacon, bacon

Me and my pussy wagon

L.I.V.I.N.

Preach it, Mathew McConaughey !!

100% absolute freedom.

Love it.

Apparently there's been some big soccer thingy going on in the world. I've been watching it in the mornings on a Spanish channel while drinking my pre-run caffeine. Coincidentally, I've also noticed a rapid decline of desire regarding my once beloved morning "O". I'm pretty sure the two are related. Might have something to do with seeing men from around the globe randomly drop to the ground like little girls faking knee injuries. "My kneeeeeee! My kneeeeeee! Oh! Oh! Ooh! Aah! Eee! My kneeeee! Son of a mother's French baguette, my kneeeeee!" Dude, you're not even in the game! You're just drinking Gatorade on the sideline! 

Such a turn off witnessing men whine like little girls. Get up. Be a man!  

So when I asked the bartender how much that particular beer on draft is, and he replied $4 and I said, "Awesome, that's great!" there was no need to tug my hair. In this town that is a good price. You guys know, you live here! Why do you have to mess with my hair? (Hair envy!) Just like Tony Moreno: "Would ya just watch the hair. Ya know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair."

 The girl who does my hair back home in L.A. methodically, structurally, geometrically, meticulously... Look, it's automatic, systematic, hydromatic, why it's Grease Lightening! (A real pussy wagon!) ... And she layers my hair in such a way it should be taught in every beauty school around the globe! she's brilliant! I adore her! And she's a big dyke lesbian (her words, not mine!) who could leg-wrestle you to China of she wanted! I don't know what that means, but she could totally do it! I'm so telling her you tugged on her master work. (You in troublllllllle.)

I'm sad I missed Steve Martin perform in Los Angeles. Love that guy. He writes about human beings in such a subtle and clear way, it's brilliant. And he's a man with a banjo. I think he truly understands people. I knew I was going to miss him perform when I made my itinerary but some things are more important.

I'm currently in my traveling laboratory creating a vaccination for egotism. Mad science, I know. But who better to hex a formula for madness, than a mad scientist. Like duuuuh.  

I love reading how serious people take themselves. Don't do it. it's a fool's errand.

In the end,

The meek shall rule the earth.... The humble shall rule the earth... The meek and humble shall hook up with the Transformers and destroy Satan.

(I don't know. It's something like that!)

Don't like it, don't let the door hit your ass-clown on the way out.

Just a GIRL

Anytime someone says, "BAMM!" as an exclamation to get their point across, you should be allowed to reply with a Flintstone caveman-club to their knee caps. "That's MR. BAMM-BAMM to you, bitch!"

While shopping, I walked past a young couple, her guy checked me out, she caught him, then rolled her eyes at me and sighed under her breath, "strippers" meaning for it to be an insult. I'm not a stripper, but I gave him a lap dance anyway right there in produce. Whoever ends up buying those tiny plums, my apologies. Same goes for the cherry tomatoes. (I got a little carried away.) I had a point to make and they don't sell Ping-Pong balls in produce!

Straight interior designers work on story concepts, puzzles, waiting for that perfect moment when all the pieces connect. For example: multi-million-dollar designs for upscale hotels. I'm a little confused who they are trying to attract based on the lobby interior décor, i.e. red endorements, floor plated butterflies, papier-mâché carousel horses, surrounded by papier-mâché flowers, and the very large colorful metallic (whatever the fuck that exhibit is!) being closely guarded by security guys who I saw few nights previous doing naked cannon-ball dives at a private beach club party. Very confusing. But then I saw a guy checking into the hotel with a sizeable question mark tattoo on the back of his neck, and it aaaaall made sense. Gay designers, you walk into a hotel and it's just in your face FABULOUS. Straight desginers, I have no idea what's going on until all the pieces finally connect... like Dominos...
Pink Floyd... Lost.

To the guy masturbating in the parking lot, dude you're neither a grower therefor not a show'er. And you should probably be concerned that the only person who stopped to watch you masturbate was the homeless guy carrying rope.

Yesterday, on a busy sidewalk, this guy realized his shorts were on backwards, and so he just yanked them down around his ankles, bent over, stepped out of them, stood back up, held his shorts up to eye level, spun the shorts around, bent back down, and put the shorts back on. Kudos to you sir for not caring that you weren't wearing underwear.

Lightening plus rain, plus hot make-up artists (and their boyfriends) you meet at the cosmetic store under Madame Tusauds equals intense Stratosphere fireworks!

My UFC Fight prediction tonight is... they sell beer at this thing, right?

 

With Liberty and Justice for all

I think Kenny Rogers did the voice over for all the walk signs.

I miss WEHO. Now every time someone cat-calls and whistles, I routinely look around for the gay hot guy and find nothing. Which is more irritating than anything else. The ratio of straight hot guy eye candy vs. gay hot guy eye candy... there's no contest.

Lost 20 year old drunk "nephews" slumped down in between the ice machine and nearing wall, need I.D. code chip injections, like pets, but with GPS. Found another lost "nephew" this morning passed out along my bank's ATM pathway.

The 30 second "marathon sex" we thought our neighbors were having, turned out to be some little kid with a speech impediment.

Military personnel. Cops. Pilots. Firemen. I have a newfound lust for men in uniform. Lucky for me it's 4th of July!

Last night I had a cocktail with bacon in it. I better not get Gout. Keeping an eye on my big toes.

Fry those assholes. Both of them. They murdered their kid.

Hopefully Hurricane Arthur turns out to be a happy wealthy drunk just looking for love in all the wrong places. 

Apparently not many women in jogging pants use them to (actually) jog in, around these parts. It seems the Jockey label combined with a ponytail and no make up, is the look prostitutes are going for these days, assumes the men who are looking for them.    

To the girl screaming at her cute boyfriend last night, calling him a "moron" and a "loser" for not wanting to drink and drive - if you're done with him send him up to my room, asap!

Going to see fireworks tonight. Hopefully the kind that explode in the sky into beautiful colors.

Happy 4th of July!

Bonterra Cabernet Sauvignon

Had this last night. Another inexpensive good red wine.

 

Even in plastic cups.

 

For those random Facebook and Twitter withdrawals

When cell phones, laptops, ipads, and notebooks can't get you logged in fast enough, you can always whip out your credit card and log in.

 

(Oh yes little glowing green dot, we know what your slot is for.)

 

Yes, I'm up this early just to get a run in before it's 108 degrees out.

 

 

me, 2 other girls, 1 handsome army guy, someone else's hotwife, and an elevator

Aaaand that's all I'm going to say about that. :)

Oh God yes!

Chocolate bacon!