MARCH 31, FRIDAY
(9:15pm)
To understand my humor…
I come from the land of ice and snow from the midnight sun where the hot springs flow. The hammer of the gods drove our ships to new land to fight the horde, sing and cry, Valhalla I am coming!
(8:09pm)
“Am I using this app correctly. Gotta be discreet.”
(1:11pm)
If you love me Starshine you'll take me to see....
(12:05pm)
Meanwhile Paul Ryan be all:
"And I thought watching McConnell and Schumer use hammers was funny."
(5:24am)
I worked last night so OF COURSE when I got home a half hour ago I youtube Jimmy Kimmel Live! and Kimmel did not disappoint Trump's indictment monologue. 😂
So France isn't with us? Wow. Shocking.
Oh? Oh, I see. We're the arrogant ones. Um? Yeah no.
I don't think I have ever heard an American say "America first" on account of America being the land of opportunity for tens of thousands hundreds of millions of immigrants! Including people from France but Shhhh don't tell that French lady! WTArcDeF?!
MARCH 30, THURSDAY
(9:35pm)
The clouds in Las Vegas tonight @sunset in my neighborhood. The first photo was taken at the end of my street.
(3:04pm)
Together?
(2:53pm)
I was (this close) to having a Match.com date on Saturday. But he wanted to take me to an Italian restaurant (I’m not a big fan of Italian or Mexican food) so I suggested having a drink at the bowling lounge inside Red Rock casino, because I actually want to see the lounge and maybe bowl a few games for fun if we’re feeling it, but then he stopped writing back. Whew. That was a close one!
I doubt my back could handle throwing a bowling ball but it was the thought that counts. I don’t like food dates until after we’re BF/GF. In case, you know, something-something happens. But now it seems I’m solo Saturday night which is fine. I’m really (really) good at dating myself. 😉
(2:43pm)
I don’t know which is worse, working on your day off or making plans to be social on your day off? I’m working on my day off. At least I’m being paid. 💵
Oh good it’s raining out. I get to test the strength of my umbrella. One of these days I’ll find an umbrella that doesn’t buckle inside out in the wind.
(2:00pm)
Need to get serious with a book title.
(1:26pm)
New writers, eh? Keep them. 💙💛
(1:05pm)
Russia attacked Ukraine to see if America and North Korea were watching. It's how bullies (and cowards) fight - pick on the smaller guy and see if the bigger guy is watching. That's also how narcissistic d-bags pick on girls to date. If North Korea sides with Russia, then South Korea will have a big problem because it boarders North Korea and relies on America's protection.
WWIII would be Russia and North Korea v. America, South Korea, possibly Canada (though doubtful), and other UN countries (maybe not France based on past record - "come under power" orrrr willing participants?)
(12:57am)
That’s my kitty!
(12:00am)
Bro made a tent with plastic wrap.😕 Because it's lighter than a tent to carry?
MARCH 29, WEDNESDAY
(11:17pm)
Drives an expensive luxury car/SUV. Still complaining about $6 a gallon. 😒 Take public transit. What, too good for that?
Explain it to the kids, Gen X soccer moms.
Stop complaining. If just one window rolled down everyone was happy mom could smoke out the window.
You could always move. No? You're staying just to complain? Okay then. 😂
(9:33pm)
Excuse me sir/s, I can’t have ya’ll talking ‘bout my boyfriend like that. It’s not like this pooter’s getting any younger. Let me have this. LET MAMA HAVE THIS 😓
(11:43am)
I want to try this. Someone get me a kitchen stat!
(5:27am)
Are you... Pardon me but... Are you a cartoon? And I thought men with too much cologne was the worst. Nope. It's men with too much filter. Try to keep the filters in the realm of flesh and fabric. I mean.
(5:05am)
Lately my favorite after work wind down monologue.
MARCH 28,TUESDAY
(9:26pm)
I’m all messed up. What day is it? Huh? What? Working boneyard hours does that to you.
MARCH 27, MONDAY
(9:39pm)
Chatsworth, CA? Oh no. Steve? 🥺
(9:28pm)
When he asks what I’d like to do, where I’d like eat, what shows I want to see while he’s in town and I’m like, the nicest thing a man can give me is a kitchen, even just for a few nights. ❤️
(5:12pm)
I’m just going to set this here and let you guys guess what I‘m thinking. It starts with “Bro… “ 😏
Because between the two fellas there’s only one who can call himself royalty in Las Vegas. And look at the price difference. Amiright?
(4:04pm)
AND ANOTHER THING!
Who TF are teachers people to say who a hero is?! So long as it’s not Hitler or Ted Bundy, a hero is a hero. This little girl did a report on Bessie Coleman as her hero, and her teacher said no. No?! GTF out of here with your no! Kudos to this girl for teaching me about someone I never heard of before. Isn’t that prime objective of (hello!) school? 🧐
Mom was all calm and reasonable. Not me. You saw Squid Games! YOU SAW SQUID GAMES! That’s how we Koreans take care of things! Squid Games!
Good job little girl.
(10:47am)
When the leaf blowers wake up your day sleep 😳
(5:27am)
Just got home from work. Exhausted.
This is brilliant. Love it. 😂
(4:37am)
Waiting for my Uber like:
MARCH 26, SUNDAY
(7:31pm)
In this episode of grandma’s 👵🏻 corner, Petroleum jelly, not just for rubbing one out.
I used to buy all the expensive lotion, bottle after bottle, but then I started mixing cheaper lotion with Petroleum jelly/Vaseline and not only saved money but use less bottles and containers of the other stuff.
I moisturize with it
Take off makeup with it
Fix makeup mistakes with it
Use it as lip gloss
And a little on the teeth for that wet shiny pageantry smile
Save you some money and the planet, boys and girls. Vaseline, you’re welcome.
(3:26pm)
I hate going to the grocery store on the weekends, or being anywhere near where there are people on the weekends.Here's why.... white people.
At the entrance/exit of the grocery store there were three white girls, mid to late 20's holding up a sign with glitter that read, "If you support women give us a thumbs up" and they recorded everyone walking in and exiting the grocery store on their smartphones with everyone's responses. If you gave them a thumbs up,they hooted, whoooo'd, cheered, jumped up and down and screamed thank you. It's all for social media, I get that, but here's my actual response to that....
I do support women. I have a woman boss. My primary doctor is a woman. My oral surgeon is a woman (plus her assistant, two women!) The person I rent a room from is a woman (and her husband) but I pay her directly. I donate/shop at Goodwill. I eat in restaurants, shop at stores, see shows, and watch movies directed by women - all women. And I use my public forums to support women. Add to that, daddy Google could be mommy Google in a dress for all I know. My point is this, my thumbs up on your social media platform isn't supporting women, it's supporting ridiculous behavior. If men held up a sign in glitter that read, "thumbs up if you support men" I would consider cutting off their balls since they apparently don't need them anymore.
AND ANOTHER THING
As I'm walking home from the grocery store, like 4 blocks away from me, I'm turning down my street with my grocery sack over my shoulder and four little white girls on bicycles are riding past me. But one little girl stopped and asked, "Can I ask you a silly question? I mean it's really silly question. But can I ask you a silly question?" Sure, I say, because I love it when little kids try talking with me (fuck noooo). "Okay, this is my silly question. Are you a Walmart shopping bag? You should be because they're lots of fun! Okay that was my silly question. Bye!" And she peddled off. Okay look, I have no idea what just happened but I'm going to take wild stab at it. Little girl, your insult has no game. Whatever happened to "anuglyassholesayswhat?" I would have accepted that. Her friend was like, "That doesn't even make sense." And the insult girl tried to explain to her friend why that did make sense as they peddled away. Kids. No thanks. Maybe practice your game on your mom first. She's in front of the grocery store holding up a sign.
MARCH 25, SATURDAY
(10:40pm)
I'm in the mood to be social but I don't want to deal with cigarette smoke.
I have a thing about Las Vegas and clouds. Last year I experienced/witnessed a lenticular cloud for the first time ever. That was kind of cool.
And then the other day going to the grocery store I got to walk through a scud cloud. I was nervous at first unsure if a dust storm was coming but no, just a cloud.
The only other time I walked through a cloud was at the Huntington Library (Los Angeles) where they recreate a room of clouds you can walk through. Pretty cool.
The sky in Las Vegas is interesting to me. It never gets fully dark here at night. According to daddy Google it's because Las Vegas is on the extreme eastern edge of the pacific time zone where the sun rises and sets early. Never letting the sky turn midnight like it does (say) in the Midwest.
If I end up staying in Vegas I'm getting a telescope.
(9:43pm)
I don't hang out on the strip. I don't hang out downtown. I like Summerlin. I live in Summerlin South. I work in Summerlin South. Plush tonight and the hotel takeover are in sketchiest parts of the strip. Dear club promoters, glow up. Not all of us want to step over human feces to get to the club door. It's bad enough men think it's okay to talk on the phone while using the bathroom.
(6:37pm)
Reading emails tonight like:
(4:56pm)
Good morning. It's Saturday (almost) night. You know what that means.
Thongs on Rhinos! Animal abuse, I tell you. Boys and girls, if your ass looks like this please don't put a thong on it and make it your profile pic.
MARCH 24, FRIDAY
(11:32pm)
I had to go downtown Las Vegas today. A shit-hole part of Las Vegas I can't stand. But I had to go. Las Vegas demands you get Nevada state work certifications and so, thank you ma'am may I have another, I went, got re-certified just for Nevada, got screamed at by homeless bitches, just in time for my boss to ask me if I wanted to pick up another shift. I like my boss. I moved back to Las Vegas to work for her, so provided this added shift doesn't kill me, that's my one and only rule, I refuse to drop dead at work, so provided this added shift doesn't kill me I'm happy to make the extra money. Fuck you "Fire everyone!" economic-retarded Republicans.
I started binge watching two series on Netflix, Narcos, and Halston. I'm sucked in. Both are good so far but I have to discipline myself to keep working on my book (with no name).
I was (this close) to possibly meeting a man for a drink off Match.com but then he had to go and call me Kim. That's not my name. Not even close. Not even the same number of letters. FFS my name is even printed at the top of the chat box.
Okay, back to writing.
(12:01pm)
Exactly how this conversation should have gone down.
(9:36am)
So this is what daylight looks like? Nope not a fan. It makes me sneeze. I think I’m allergic. Kidding. Hoping to get one more hike in before Vegas literally become 🔥 hell on earth.
Look buddy, I gave up on Match. I clearly don’t speak your language.
MARCH 23, THURSDAY
(11:53pm)
Hey Putin, heeey 👋🏻
You’re next! 😂
Good night.
(11:19pm)
Mesmerizing 🤩
(11:50am)
Hey. Hey. Hey hey hey. Guess what guess what? This is a real thing. See. See. When someone originates a business and takes on partners, they are automatically a "founding partner".
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(10:25am)
Worst porno ever!
(10:20am)
The best one from this trend 😕😃
(1:52am)
Whenever the world seems so very wrong, Kimmel makes it so very right. Thank you for that. 🙌🏻
(1:27am)
Even though I just renewed a work license recognized by every state in the country, Las Vegas has their very own work licenses good for only Nevada because why not. Because there’s no state tax taken out of paychecks so the state finds another way to make everyone pay to work here.😞 So today (Thursday) is study day and then tomorrow I have to test for the (only good in) Nevada license.
On another note, because I’m not allowed to drink in the house I rent a room in, I went to my local Dotty’s yesterday for a glass of red wine. Where were the men? Zero men. All women. ZERO MEN. ZERO. MEN. I never wanted to know what an active senior lesbian bar was like so thank you for that experience. 🙈 Go to a bar my brother said. That’s where you’ll meet men my brother said.
MARCH 21, TUESDAY
(6:17pm)
REPUBLICANS 2022: "Everyone back to work!"
REPUBLICANS 2023: "Fire everyone they're causing inflation!"
(5:31pm)
Watched Chris Rock: Selective Outrage on Netflix while getting ready for work. You know I'm not a Rock fan but this was good. Funny. I like when comics are story telling jokers, quipsters, and not all gag bit shticky, like what Rock did at the Oscars in 2016 with his daughter's Girls Scouts troup - shticky. Selective Outrage was good.
(2:26pm)
I'm glad to see Al Franken out of exile. Only Franken could make an interview with Lindsey Graham seem interesting and human. Not sure i'm ready for that... sober.
(1:43pm)
You know he was probably trying to take a selfie with her, right?
(1:11pm)
You know that army I said I would one day assemble. Well it has arrived.
(6:16am)
I don't care if Trump gets indicted today, tomorrow, or next year. He's such a goddamn idiot, him being indicted is like everyone in Vegas, every August, predictably saying, "Hot enough for you?" It's going to happen - eventually. I just hope and pray Jimmy Kimmel makes good use of it when it does. My new mantra was going to be instead of EAT PRAY LOVE, substitute it with EAT KIMMEL LOVE, but daddy Google knows my search history, and so.
Okay now I'm for real going to bed. It's raining out. Sweet!
Good night.
(4:31am)
My Lyft is almost here. Leaving work.
And good night 💤😴
MARCH 20, MONDAY
(9:32pm)
If this your kind of gal, honey I’m all kinds of Huckleberry.
(3:31pm)
Good morning. It's morning for me. Graveyard shift. A job, which if left up to the geniuses at Fox & Friends, (*checks notes) I wouldn't have because me going to work and earning a paycheck is why there's a 6% inflation from last year. 😒
I blogged about this last month or so on how bubblegum pop economists think the cure to inflation is to lower wages or better yet just fire people. (Fire everyone! Fuck all!) Then who ya gonna bitch to when you don't get that second dish of ranch dressing, huh Susan?! HUH SUSAN?! None of your 8 corgis have opposable thumbs, Susan!
See, this is why I'm a prep cook. I come into work in the middle of the night: chop, slice, and dice the vegetables, make your salads, make your specialty coffees, make all your sauces, prep your chickens, prep your eggrolls, and make all the burger/sandwhich setups, all without having to talk to a single goddamn person if I don't want to - because of this shit. It's a pay cut. And I'm happy to take it. The same people who sit in line at a (say) Starbucks drive-thru every morning and bitch because they can't get gluten free soy milk that day, are the same assholes who want to take Starbucks jobs away, or equally bad cut their minimum wage wages.
For medical reasons, I can no longer be behind a hot 103 degree grill all day, and even if I could, I'm happy to take the pay cut. I was (this close) to legit losing my shit if one more person asked for their steak "between medium rare and medium". Go fuck yourselves.
Pay $12 for eggs a while longer just like us lowly worthless working class people are doing and go about your decorating your 1.5 million dollar house Karen. If we renters endure it so can you.
19, MARZ, SONNTAG
(9:28pm)
I never get tired of seeing rave kitty living her best life.
(7:29pm)
Oh my god! 😂
(5:00pm)
Today I was turned on to UK burlesque performer Marianne Cheesecake.
(12:20pm)
We allllllll been there, buddy.
(11:08pm)
MARCH 18, SATURDAY
(8:48pm)
March 30th. Yep. Watching it.
(5:07pm)
I walked to my pharmacy (inside a Target) killed three birds with one stone - that's a terrible saying by the way. I got my miles in, wore my pressure sock even (look at me being an adult!) and picked up personal stuff before my work week begins tomorrow.
I used app coupons for my prescriptions otherwise they would be like $450 instead of $110. I asked the pharmacist how coupons work - if I need to email her the coupon or what? The pharmacist asked me to take pictures of the coupons and then asked if she could take my phone for a minute to look at the pictures and write the info from the pictures down, and I'm like, "Uh. So you're gonna go into my pictures? Are you squeamish?" She thought for a second and then replied, "You can just hold the phone up with the coupons. I can write the info down from here." Smart girl.
(5:52am)
Last night went to the pub up the street from me. Everyone working there was so nice. Had a glass of happy hour wine (look at me being an adult!) but the cigarette smoke was too thick. I drank my drink and left. The sign on the building says something like "drink and conversation" but they conveniently left off the "emphysema" part.
MARCH 17, FRIDAY
(9:23pm)
Must be siblings 😂
(9:17pm)
And a pink car.
(2:19pm)
I legit have goose bumps.
(2:09pm)
If Putin is found guilty of genocide/war crimes (which you know he's guilty of!) by the ICC can they take Trump with him? Asking for a friend.
(1:50pm)
How W's and Obama's administrations could not see this coming is beyond me. It's time to bloody the nose of the bully.
(1:10pm)
"Mr Pee-utin"
(10:08am)
GO GO ICC!!
(9:24am)
Oh. That’s. That’s just so wrong. And yet so very right. 💫
(8:30am)
This is so cute.
MARCH 16, THURSDAY
(8:46pm)
Give Ukraine F16's! I'm done with this Putin worthless fuck.
(6:14pm)
I remembered to wear my glasses when I left the house and saw dog poop on the sidewalk clear as day.
(5:56pm)
Tonight I had planned to check out this pub up the street from me, a 15 minute walk from the house, and do as my brother suggested meeting people out in public face to face, but I accidentally took all my prescriptions this morning, sleep schedule mess up, and one of my medications is an 80mg statin I take at night on account of the side effect it has on my legs. It feels like dead weight on my legs afterwards and the only relief I get from it is to be off my feet preferably sitting up in bed or sleeping. It's a good thing my meds are in a pill box with the days of the week on it otherwise I almost took my heart and stroke meds for the second time today. The pub will have to wait until tomorrow. I just got back from walking to the store and it was like:
(12:19pm)
I'm all confused. I woke up and fell asleep twice in twelve hours and by mistake I took my night time statin that has now left my upper legs feeling like a 20 pound doggie is constantly sitting in my lap. Which wouldn't be so bad if there was in fact a 20 pound puppy doggie instead of a 135 pound heavy burden of old age.
(4:55am)
We need someone smart but looks scary like everyone's crazy Uncle George who lights his cigarettes with blowtorches, cuts his hair with a switchblade knife, and says "them there" before each noun.
"Look girlie, I got no time for yer fancy talk. I gotta kick some butt on one of them there Russian fellers."
I'm voting for that guy!
(2:11am)
When you only meant to take a two hour nap but then wake up seven hours later.
MARCH 15, WEDNESDAY
(5:22am)
When you get off work at 4am bone-weary, this Kimmel Live monologue is freaking awesome. Thanks Youtube.
(4:43am)
Instantly regrets his decision 🫣
MARCH 14, TUESDAY
(4:10pm)
Right now Zelenskyy is thinking, "I need to find me a war cat like the Turkish firefighter."
(2:31pm)
I told my Uber driver this morning I think my male housemate does Onlyfans and he had no idea what I was talking about. I'm glad there is still purity in the world. No one I know, but somewhere out there in the world.
In a strange twist of events, I've been chatting for the past 48 hours with my old flame Perry. He's coming to Vegas to visit me for three days. He's been in San Francisco all this time living with his then girlfriend (who he broke up with five years ago) but is moving back to Redondo (or Manhattan) Beach next month. It'll be nice seeing him. I haven't had any time to enjoy Vegas. I haven't had any time to relax and enjoy being back. I haven't even had a drink yet. I haven't had a drink in a long time. I need a few glasses of wine and just zone out. Not think about anything. I'm not allowed to drink in the house so this forces me to go out which is probably a good thing.
(4:08am)
I think my housemate does OF. He never leaves the house except to get groceries. He’s always showering. Like 2 to 3 times a day. And the two times I’ve seen him in three weeks he’s in boxer shorts and a wife beater.
MARCH 12, SUNDAY
(7:42pm)
Spring has SPRUNG in Canada apparently.
Oh Canada-a-a-a
So does he just go back to being plain ol' boring Russell Brown?
Giving Arizona the business? 😂 We're talking Arizona, USA, right? Those bitches carry guns, sir. From the time they can hold a gun.
(6:26pm)
Sor-ry? 🤷🏼♀️
It’s going to be 200° here soon. “Oh lord, thou pluckest me out… “
(2:03pm)
There's still a Silicon Valley? I thought they all moved to San Francisco and Venice Beach?
MARCH 11, SATURDAY
(9:54pm)
What’s something my maker had no intention of me doing ever?
(8:50pm)
Being a latch-key kid in MN was very weird. As kids we were outside all the time in the middle of below freezing weather. "This is the way" you make your kids strong for the elements. But we were also constantly getting this shot, that shot, being skin pricked for this test, blood drawn for that test. I mean it was constant. I've had my blood drawn so many times they could have made at least two more adult human beings by the time I was fifteen.
Cindy Lund had arthritis in elementary school. Who TF has arthritis in elementary school?! Scoliosis, that was a deal. The only thing on the face of this giant ass planet I'm allergic to is penicillin. I'm allergic to medicine.
Ok I'm done blogging for the night. Time to go back to the book with no title and write about narcissism and mental illness.
Good night.
(9:23am)
So an interesting thing happened last night...
At first I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something but what? My life is so mundane and repetitive. Nothing new. It was late night so I took to friends on FB and a childhood friend said it's Edema, and to elevate my foot over my heart. My foot had gotten so bloated it was painful. I felt like one of those crazy kids from Charlie And The Chocolate Factory!
I took my friend's advice and elevated my foot. Within an hour...
The swelling went down but holy shit that was crazy.
If you're new here, I have health issues. Like crazy health issues. You know shingles? I had that in my late 20's. Why did I get shingles so young? No one knows. Popped some pills and the shingles went away. I had an ischemic stroke February, 2021. I have arrhythmia. Why? I'm told my body is structured weird (the doctors use professional language.) I have narrow arteries and hypertension. Super high blood pressure could not squeeze through my narrow arteries mimicking a blood clot and causing a stroke, which I ignored thinking it was a major migraine headache (strokes being the silent killer because people like me think they're having a migraine headache), then seven days later I was in the process of having a second much bigger stroke to which 911, EMT's, and the ER staff at St John's Providence stopped from happening and saved my life. I have three different doctors, two are specialists, and I take a handful of pills (I'm told) every day for the rest of my life.
Additionally I have diabetes, problems with my liver, problems with my digestive tract (resulting in yet another ER visit), I had to have jaw surgery... Christ I'm even missing bones in my spinal chord just below my skull (I learned after being a passenger in a car wreck)... plus some other stuff... and because I generally eat healthy, live healthy, exercise, I'm pretty active, why did all this happen? "Could be heredity" which is true I don't know my mom and apparently neither did my dad. So when my foot blew up like that I immediately panicked and thought fuck me! A blood clot! But my girlfriend who also has a dozen health problems spared me the humiliation of having gone to the ER (again).
And because a half dozen of my childhood friends have died before their 50th birthday from one (non sport) brain injury or another, and having living friends who like me have several medical issues apiece, I'm considering being a lab rat for clinical trials (or am I already?) My friends and I are too young to have these problems. Granted, in our teens and 20's we were reckless and dumb, but that's been long over and probably unrelated to the issues we have now.
Many (many!) of my childhood friends think we were severely over vaccinated as kids and it somehow altered/intercepted our internal growth process, perhaps stopping growth and that's why our internal organs, bones, and fluids are shutting down on us. Missing bones I was told is a birth defect, but is it?
I have the internal workings of a 70 year old. No amount of kale and soy milk is going to help me now, just pharmaceuticals, and I have to ask myself... Why is that?
(7:24am)
Korean drama 🎭 every dang time.
(2:01am)
Sake, kitty. Same.
MARCH 10, FRIDAY
(10:08pm)
Okay good night 🫣😂
(7:41pm)
In three months not one cocktail/happy hour meet up from Match.com because:
"NO Liberals. Pro Trump!"
"NO short hair on women!"
"Women MUST be rich and successful!"
'Women MUST be skinny!"
"Women MUST talk on the phone for a few hours to see if we want to meet!"
"I don't use safety chat apps! Gimme your phone number!"
"Where do you live?!"
Meanwhile the men making these demands may as well be:
(6:29pm)
If these are the names of your streets I think there ought be at least ONE on the street otherwise it's kind of a lie.
(9:50am)
I have memberships to adult sites just to send infidels to my "blocked" prison. It's very satisfying. I like being looked at but not by the same creepy couple over and over and over and over. BORING. Screen snap pictures like an adult!
(8:53pm)
iPhone catalogs your images and this is what they filed my tits under. 🫣🫠
MARCH 9, THURSDAY
(11:23pm)
I knew it! Goddamn Nazis! I have to find it but not long ago I talked about people being 100% of any ethnicity as being inbred. My theory being if since the dawn of time (say) a 100% Swiss man and a 100% Swiss woman created the people of Switzerland, fast-forward to 2023, any person claiming they are 100% Swiss (or 100% of any ethnicity) how are they not products of generational inbreeding? You would have to breed with like a Spaniard or something just to mix up the loony toon warped gene pool. I wrote about it in the last two or three months. Well Conan O'Brien took a DNA test and it came back 100% Irish he says and the Geneticist told him it's because he's inbred. I just saw the Youtube his people posted four years ago when he talks about it. So goddamn Nazi's and their "pure race" would ultimately mean a whole lot of inbreeding!
I mean, I understand Conan O'Brien is a comic and all, but can you imagine it?! Pure race Nazi inbreeding?!
(10:37pm)
CUE THE...
(9:55pm)
I'm chatting with a man who says when he was a kid he grew up with the Rajneesh in Oregon. I remember very little of them as a kid. Adults were more afraid of the Rajneesh than Ed Gein. Teach 'em daddy Google! I read a little bit about the Rajneesh in my 20's and 30's. Three's Company even did a thing on the Rajneesh when Chrissy was being "woo'd" by one of their main men. Bhagwan had Fleets of Rolls Royces. Private airplanes. Like all faith systems, corruption not surprisingly occurred with blind mass followings and bored wealthy types seeking enlightenment by impulsively throwing their wealth around.
WILD COUNTRY is still streaming on Netflix.
We all saw that episode of X-FILES! (The Field Where I Died)
This might make it into the book with no name.
(7:14pm)
I’m actually 35 years younger you son of a bitch! 😏🖕🏻
(7:06pm)
When you let your boyfriend name your wifi.
(7:00pm)
Oh myyyyy.
Turkish firefighter rescues this kitty trapped in rubble for 10 days. And kitty said “You’re my human. I have chosen you.” So the firefighter adopted him and named him Rubble. In Turkish kitty’s name is Enkaz.
Look at his adorable kissable smudgy nose! (The cat, I mean.)
My brother said I need to go to a bar to meet a man. That's where he met my sister-in-law. Only here in Vegas every bar seat has a poker machine in front of it, and everyone smokes. 😝
(3:51pm)
My street reminds me of Hollywood, CA. Beachwood Canyon’ish. Only cleaner.
Just now walking to the store. Beautiful day. Enjoy them while you can before it gets to be 110° out every day.
(9:42am)
I haven't worn my glasses in a week. I misread words like "article" for "testicle" all the time making text messages from pharmacies more interesting.
(8:36am)
I'm reminded of my handsome pilot friend and his ex-girlfriend. He's a Trump supporter. She apparently is not. After a year(plus) of ups and downs in their turbulent, highly sexual, yet toxic relationship he mentions supporting Trump and she lost her mind, while they were in public, at a cafe. My handsome pilot friend and I have a sort of 20 year marriage type of relationship. We went from being fuck-buddies to instant 20 year marriage, mutually skipping the dating part, just the occasional hand job. And while my friend is telling me about his girlfriend freaking out in public because he's a Trump supporter, I unintentionally tap out and wonder why toilet paper is always "back and to the left" of the commode. "Back and to the left. Back and to the left." My friend never notices when I tap out. I'm a pretty good active listener when people start telling me the same relationship tale of woe for the 100th time. Ten minutes later I notice he's looking at me with anticipation. He paused for a second to get my feedback on what he was talking about for the past ten minutes to which I reply, "Yeah no, I totally hear ya. People used to be able to disagree with each and still be cool." - Which by the way, works almost every single time regardless of who you're actively listening to. My friend is always happy with it, not that he cares about my real opinion, he's just venting. And so...
That bring me to this Trump supporter on Match.com. We've made a few exchanges of heavy mutual interest meeting but we're still wondering if we can fuck someone we think is stupid. Can we? Once my ex-husband and I looked at each other with that, "God, you're a moron. How did I ever fall in love with you?" requited disdain, it resulted with an unpleasant two year divorce. I know we joke about finding ex-husband #2 but are we really gonna? I mean, really? This guy on Match is great on paper though. He's an outdoorsman and handy with tools, plus I'm attracted to all his photos. He just had to say he's a Trumpstrap supporter. In a perfect world he would have not said anything politically and silently concluded as I have about America's imminent doom, so why not find some happiness before we go.
As for my handsome pilot friend, he eventually got over his ex. He met another woman and they bought a ranch house (somewhere) in Orange County. I was active listening again. When this happens #2 surefire response is, "Yeah, totally!"
MARCH 8, WEDNESDAY
(11:51pm)
Hard to believe this was 2017.
(Look at us. You look so young. *Yes, as opposed to now. You're old AF and so am I!)
Looks like I'm angry smiling. I'm probably just h'angry.
(11:48pm)
And good night
(5:20pm)
"How long will it take your hair to grow back out?"
That's all he wrote in his email to me. That one sentence. Hair. That's his priority in a relationship. Hair.
(12:45pm)
Happy International Women's Day!
So close! He contacted me. I'm sexually attracted to him. I love that he's an outdoorsman. We have several same listed interest. He reads great EXCEPT at the very end of his profile he writes, "Trump supporter". Goddamnit! Had he wrote, "Biden supporter" I would have thought goddamnit but at least he's not pro-storming the White House. In a perfect world he would have not said anything politically and silently concluded, as I have, America's imminent doom so why not find some happiness before we go.
MARCH 7, TUESDAY
(4:42pm)
No date again this weekend.
(1:51pm)
💯 men like horror movie crime
💯 Women like life real horror crime 🍿
MARCH 6, MONDAY
(9:26pm)
You spend $17 on a smoothie but it’s the $1.35 that breaks you?🙄 No bitch, people waited on your lazy stupid ass. You fucking ti… Oh wait, what’s that, you got your $17 smoothie at Erewhon? (Sigh) I take that back. When all the smart people eventually die or go to Mars y’all can Idiocracy on Tik Tok until Fudruckers becomes Buttfuckers. I assure you that smoothie won’t be worth $17.
(7:23pm)
Just send California these. I mean for us they were toys when we were five years old but since none of them know how to brush their roofs off they're going to need new homes it seems.
(7:17pm)
California and snow, rain, mud, wind... pretty much weather.
California and weather.
The only way Californians can survive snow is if:
(3:08pm)
PREACH PREACHER!
(1:21pm)
Listening to the Jodi Arias story on Dateline podcast. It's too bad no one ever directed her talent in art. She's actually a pretty skillful pencil artist and painter. Instead she rots in jail. And for what? A man.
(1:14pm)
Californians live in the mountains but don't stock for up winter. It's only been two weeks and they about to die. Oh no not a whole 4 miles to the nearest store. Can't hang under only five feet of snow? Oh dear. Forget supplies, they need a couple of Wisconsinites and Minnesotans to go up there and teach them how to live in a Midwest springtime.
MARCH 5, SUNDAY
(6:54pm)
Jo Jorgensen. Who? Exactly. Don't care. Libertarian.
I REFUSE to vote for Billy Boots DeSantis, the orange moron, or pioneer Joe.
(6:49pm)
Paul Ryan
Mitt Romney
Gavin Newsom
Pete Buttigieg
These are the only four candidates I will consider for the next presidential election. If none of these people get into the ring then I will vote for whoever the fuck the Libertarian candidate is. Who is it? No one knows. Don't care. Voting for him. Or her.
(5:18pm)
I'm not supposed to have stress in my life, yet trying to pay for prescriptions (for now) out of pocket is the biggest stresser I have.
(5:10pm)
Among other prescriptions I take an 80mg statin at night. Yes, 80mg going on year three. I'm high risk for heart attack and another stroke, they tell me. All the salads and vegetables in the world won't stop it from coming. I ask the doctors if they might lower the dosage and the doctors all say no.
They're the doctors. I'm not a doctor. They are.
(4:05pm)
Contrary to what some philosophers may think, it's not that there's a "harem" of women on date apps, it's that men have for whatever reason decided playing the numbers game is more of a priority for them than love and commitment.
It's why they start wars.
(3:38pm)
Say what you will about Los Angeles, but the city's healthcare is amazing. I had an ischemic stroke, jaw surgery, and a half dozen prescriptions for two years, all without knowing how much any of it costs. This afternoon I found out just one of my prescriptions is $316 (generic) out of pocket. Fuck me. Single Care! Holy shit. I'm telling you now boys and girls, get into the medical world.
(9:32am)
Men used to only pursue women they considered for marriage. And would actually show up for dates like this:
Wearing a nice suit, flowers in hand, taking her out to dinner. Now men are lazy because women allow it.
(9:19am)
Lack of strong male role models. My dad raised my brothers, the same way every dad raised their boys in my neighborhood, "You want a woman, you better get yourself a good paying job, a nice car, and be able to afford dinners and jewelry." dads of Gen X were the last dads to raise their boys this way I'm afraid.
And by "no, thank you" I mean who the fuck do you think you are that just because you're in town I'm just gonna hop right on over!
This is why I watch a lot of movies and read. Escapism from this bullshit.
If you want to know where the "single men" of my generation are, just listen to the Dateline podcast. They're all in jail for murdering their wives. *Which I think is because they weren't mature enough to handle the transition of meeting women the old fashion way in the 1980's and 90's - to internet.
PURGE!
(9:03am)
"I don't want a woman to need me. I want her to be independent and WANT to be with me."
Which is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
No mom anywhere at anytime is raising her daughter to be "financially independent and simply want to blow a guy and fuck him because he's by nature so amazing." HA! That's not in any mom playbook anywhere. Any man who thinks that, is a moron. Only movie stars and rockstars get that privilege. It comes with the territory. But a regular every day guy, your ass better be making money and giving her financial security.
REALITY CHECK: If she's earning a living enough to be financially independent, she doesn't need you at all. Go gay.
(Straight) men have long ago thrown out propriety with women. The breakdown of straight society is, there's no THIS for THAT between the two genders anymore.
Feminists broke the cycle that made society function properly, and then (straight) men made certain it could never be repaired. And yet by some miracle of miracles y'all keep breeding.
(8:06am)
Streaming now on Tubi. Beautiful film.
I wish would have seen this on the big screen.
(6:34am)
My favorite youtube channel posted a new video.
Beautiful. Not too close the little penguins you'll scare them.
Another video of theirs I love.
(6:17am)
I need to kickstart my writing project, the book with no name.
If you build it they will come?
MARCH 4, SATURDAY
(7:50pm)
😂
(6:19pm)
(Film) The Canyons
What does the gate say every time it's swung open?
Who lived in that apartment for real?
Did that UPS truck have a walk-on role or did the driver really not know how to drive the truck?
Why doesn't the wealthy boyfriend hire an actual PI? Instead of a dude who looks like he randomly walked out of a methadone clinic one day and crossed paths.
CUE THE music!
Why is the hot tub not hot tub-ish?
So did the CG guy blow him or what? And why would a straight dude even care if another dude blew him without recip. I never understood that.
"So do you worry about being an actor when you're here?"
Holy hell, Doc. He just said he did TWO TIMES now. Wait a minute. Did we ever fuck?
"And then bam, you're fucking my girlfriend." No question. I just want friends to know I'll be texting this to them for the next week or so and they probably won't know why - because supposedly they don't read my blog until I mention them and then suddenly "bam" I get text messages about it.
It's windy as fuck outside.
Back to writing.
(5:23pm)
The Canyons is streaming on Tubi.
I have questions.
(4:05pm)
I call this outfit - Church of (Germany) the Evangelical Federation.
You can take the girl out of the Holy, but you can never take the Holy out of the girl. Well no, that’s not true. Shit.
I call this outfit - Heart monitor Monday
I call this outfit - Feeding the elderly
I call this outfit - Fuckall!
What I believe you meant to say is, “Nice hair, makeup, hours of hard work, and photos. Can I buy you a house?”
(8:19am)
My housemate, who I've only met once in his boxers and wife beater, while passing the bathroom located next to my bedroom, is now taking a third shower in like 15 hours. So either he's a'brewing some weird shit in his bedroom, or he's ho-strolling Las Vegas like the opening scene from Pretty Woman!
I don't know how to break it to him but we in Summerlin South (a suburb). The closest thing to a boulevard here is the five year old candy isle at the 99 cent store. "Work it! Work it! Own it!"
(6:35am)
Whatever you say, Billy Boots!
Ass manager or Cunt employee. I don't judge.
(6:30am)
"I hate bloggers."
I hate when innocent people suffer, but that's just me.
*It was 6:30am and I forgot the word "when". But it was also before caffeine so, the other way may have applied for two hours.
(2:15am)
Got up to pee. Good. Good. This helps me know what day it is. It’s a whole thing.
MARCH 3, FRIDAY
(10:12pm)
I have no idea what Bill's issue is with me and my blog, or bloggers in general. Someone must have made him cry. Not me! I've never said one bad word about him. I've never even met the man but he sure does criticize TF out of things I write here. TF Karen? You come here repeatedly just to hate on it? You know if you read my blog backwords (get it, back-words, whooooo!) Dr Suess appears with a Pocket Full of Boners, you lucky devil!
I just kind of, you know, wish you would stop lambasting shit on your show about stuff I write like bat v. pig eating causing diseases and viruses like Covid, calling cannibalism stupid (HEY! it's the only way, Bill!), and now saying he hates bloggers. Holy shit. Hate is a strong word, Bill. I hate minus below freezing weather. And you know what? I don't go when and where that happens. Know what I'm saying?😉
Everyone knows Google is my daddy. And if you think daddy doesn't censor me, think again. I got the big ugly red page ban on something I wrote last year because I included legit website links that someone who works for daddy didn't know anything about. He does now. FYI, you can find him now @hotcockblowbangtwistynipplesinkansas.com or so I heard. You're welcome!
See, I do good here also, Bill. Add to that, my entertainment is 100% free. No commercials *cough* unlike some people. *cough*
(3:56pm)
Alex Murdaugh is going to jail.
Car jacking/chase in Los Angeles. Driver reportedly had an AR-15.
Massive fire in Hong Kong.
Shigella!
No, no. Keep breeding it's going swell.
(1:41pm)
And just like that the optimism is over 😉
(7:52am)
Happened upon this man's Youtube channel.
Beautiful sentiment. I don't know if sharing this makes up for all my mentions of cannibalism, but here he is.
(6:18am)
Kimmel killing it. I laughed so hard. I work Oscar night but I'll definitely check out his bits on Youtube. Kimmel and Handler... Alright.
MARCH 2, THURSDAY
(8:03pm)
If you’re new to these parts I had jaw surgery near the end of 2021. That’s what I’m talking about below.
I documented the healing process after the surgery.
(7:53pm)
Every now and then I wonder if my oral surgeon ever thinks about me like how I think about her. She drilled out a part of my jawbone that had problems and built new. She extracted two teeth, three teeth including the wisdom tooth, cut down my gums, took a bone saw to my jawbone, put in lab made bone grafts as she stitched my gums back up, then laid a small sheet of human donated membrane over the sutures. And lookee at my jaw now. I will always wonder who donated the membrane? *I think I technically ate someone’s baby placenta. So thank you for that.
(6:45pm)
Thursday night fart joke in 3… 2….
(1:18pm)
Whatcha doing?
(11:51am)
Is this idiot your husband? Sweetheart, you can do better. You can buy yourself flowers!
(10:35am)
Men who can, do.
(10:08am)
"God chance" = "A snowball's chance" only less likely.
(9:59am)
A very nice banker called and after a few chats we learned together that the type of loan I want from my bank is new, like two months new and is offered kind of randomly through the bank app. Huh. Interesting. The banker asked how I heard about the loan and I told her (daddy) Google told me when I looked up bank loan options. We learned together it's a promotional loan that cannot be done in the bank. I basically have to wait my turn kind of thing - like a monetary gang bang unlike taxes that's pretty much straight up rape.
Maybe today I'll take photos for another Raw Blog.
Raw blog = raw photos. And if you don't know what raw photos are then there's a god chance you don't know what "airtight" means and in that case WTF are you doing here this may not be the blog for you.
(8:32am)
There's this husband trying to cheat on his wife with me. Handle:YALOVER
So gross. He lurks at my profile like every 1-3 days for the past year or so. Hey Dateline, your next story is going to be me or so it seems.
(8:02am)
When Kimmel isn't whining he's actually quite funny.
(7:49am)
I have to be an adult today. Wear adult clothes (a bra). Use adult language. Can't say "bro" or "look, bitch".
I went to sleep last night at 9pm. Woke up around 6:30 this morning and only got up once to pee in the middle of the night and because of this I was all messed up on time when I saw light peaking through the windows. Did I only take a nap? No wait, it was dark when I went to bed. Where am I?
Martin Short generously gave up his seat on a plane for a child - because he's famous. If anyone asked me to give up my seat on a plane all's I would have to do is say "sure" and then go into a wicked fake China-covid coughing fit. "Here you go." The interesting thing about coughing fits is, I don't have them (except for when I had Covid last January or February, 2022). Nowadays it's usually white people and everyone around them freaks out. I'm like, fine, whatever, I've had Covid twice that I know of, and possibly a third time in it's early stages, bring it. With all this wind in Vegas whipping around I started sneezing non-stop last night and that's how alllllllll sickness starts with me, sneezing. I'm sure it's sinus stuff from the wind but 105 degrees is looking mighty nice right about now. Until it is and then we'll be bitching about the heat. And by "we" I mean me.
I've been chewing on orange immune support gummies, salads, and fruit for the past week and my tired little body is like, "FFS eat a steak will ya lady!" I'm pretty sure Denny's has a steak made of at least 50% beef so maybe I'll do the old person counter dine-in for my next Raw Blog.
MARCH 1, WEDNESDAY (Raw blog)
(9:02pm)
She’s amazing
(4:41pm)
Just got back from the grocery store. As I waited for the next self scan station, a guy scanning his groceries was checking out a gal scanning her groceries next to him. He was desperately trying to make eye contact with her. She was desperately scanning her groceries to get TF away from him, her long hair whipping all around her as she scanned and bagged groceries like she was frantically building her own women's shelter. When she realized he was finished paying for his groceries she slowed down scanning in hopes he would leave. Instead he grabbed his receipt and continued to stand in front of the scanner to read it, making hardcore side eyes at this poor girl.
“Hey. Excuse me. Are you done?” I ask in my best Korean resting bitch-voice.
Without saying a word, he begins to slug his way towards the door hoping the gal would catch up to him. (Why? So she can ignore you in the parking lot?)
Bro, you didn’t stand a chance. First of all, you’re old enough to be someone’s junior high school math teacher in 1957. Second, that beautiful young lady sure AF wasn’t going to date you. I wouldn't date you and I’m legally blind.
But grandpa seriously thought he had a shot. That would be like me giving Padro Pascal hardcore side-eye in hopes he would whisk me away to South America for a romantic dinner in Venezuela. (At least we’re the same generation!)
Buddy, I’m not saying you being old denies you the right to have a beautiful young woman, I’m just saying you’re not rich or famous enough.
