Natalia

She looks cross eyed. I was going to fix it but then I recalled a conversation I had with someone, who at the time was very important to me, circa 2001, regarding beautiful flaws, and decided to keep Natalia, as is. 

What the hell?

I’ve watched this video waaayyyy too many times today 

What’s going on here??? 🤭

just another monday in Vegas

How did anyone recognize him?? I would have totally denied that! Trudeau lost me after “people-kind” anyway.

What do they say, when your urine smells like pure sugar it’s time to get tested for diabetes, again. I’ve been tested like three times. Maybe my pee is just supposed to smell like candy. My dad was an insulin diabetic. And even though studies repeatedly say diabetes is not necessarily hereditary doctors still test me for diabetes every time I see them. So masterful was dad and his insulin pump he remained a wine and whisky drinker until the day he died. Even back in the day when he injected himself old school with a needle. 

Does anyone care about Stairway To Heaven, anymore? Must be a slow news day.

Natalia, update. Ugh. Fluorescent lights. I hate photographing my art.

I fail to understand why so much money is invested in a man’s erection but not a dime towards a woman’s desire for sex. As if all I want from a man is his erection. Gross. 

Today, however, I saw a guy I would date and jump into bed in a heartbeat. He works at my bank. Never seen him there before but I guess I’ll find reason to visit my bank more often. Him I’d love to date. Well groomed. Well dressed. Employed. BUT NO instead I attract complete morons like this guy...

And 300 pound stalkers in hunter camouflage driving murder trucks with tinted windows. And guys who don’t post any photos because blind dates are fun. And guys who use extreme POV close up of their erect dicks because that’s the reasonable way to attract women.

Just a nice normal guy who bathes, who’s employed, will actually take me out on dates, and likes cats and dogs. Seriously? It’s this hard? 

Natalia. Ice sculpture. The rest is garbage

Natalia is coming along moderately and surely. 

I have my own way of doing things when I draw. I sometimes draw and erase the same area for hours. I’m neurotic when it comes to how things should look. Center scope. 

So hey, didn’t Epstein murder himself? But his accusers are still making the news? Slow news day, guys? Here’s the thing, I 100% believe the parents of, or whoever raised the underage girls Epstein plead guilty soliciting, need to be held accountable too. I’m over it. All the homeless people, all the throwaway people, someone needs to be held accountable for them. Track down their family members and hold them accountable. Look, I don’t like my brothers but they’ll never be homeless. If I have a roof over my head so do they. Same for my friends. If I have a roof, they have a roof. Here’s a sensational news story, news people, interview these underage girls parents. Ask THEM why they think their underage daughter was so easy to solicit. 

No? You won’t do it? Yeah. Thought so. Crackerjack parenting.

At some point ladies, YOU are responsible for your actions. At some point parents, YOU are responsible for the safety of your children. 

Stranger Danger! It’s a real thing. Teach it. Learn it. Trust no one! 

And just like that, it wasn’t 110 degrees anymore. The temps here in Vegas suddenly dropped 20 degrees overnight. We’ll be in the upper 70’s by next week. Finally. With the cool weather it seems I have some new neighbors. The homeless are beginning to make camps above ground. There’s two camps so far on my block. About to be three.

Las Vegas has a giant underground homeless community (Google it) but with the cooler weather I’m seeing more tents pop up around the neighborhood. Directly across the street from me, on the corner, a small community of homeless are making their campground. As long as they don’t mess with the stray cat, I guess I don’t care. The parents who live in the neighborhood however probably will. Among other things, there’s no public toilets nearby. They go in the yards. 

One guy up the street from me has a pretty nice setup actually. He has all his camp gear up like he’s in the mountains. A really nice tent, BBQ, weather tarp, mountain bike, a good supply of water, several five gallon jugs, and lawn chairs from what I can see. The people making camp across the street from me, not so nice. There’s a young palm tree on the corner of the street and that’s what the homeless are using as a base for their shelter. The palm tree can’t be more than six feet tall.

The grudge match going on across the street between the apartment building, their neighbors, and the homeless, regarding who has the right to use the empty lot, is about to get more interesting with this new camp of homeless people. 

NOTE: This blog gets written over the course of days. Sometimes just one sentence a day.

Trudeau. Just. Um. What? Blackface? This coming from the guy who wanted us to say “people-kind” and not “mankind”. 

Ohhhh nooo! Someone already stormed the one homeless guy’s camp. The one with the nice tent. He was there for about three weeks. Maybe more. Looks like it was stormed on, and looted. I hope the guy’s ok. He was harmless. He should have went up into the mountains for peace and quiet. Maybe he didn’t want snow. 

It’s the second night since the new camp of homeless was starting to be made across the street from me and it seems they too were already shooed away. They’re not there tonight. But they’ll be back. The homeless have nowhere else to go but in circles. 

When rich older women staying at Wynn all compliment and gush over my natural hair color, it makes me smile to know I can still mingle among the high brows who pay $65 for a glass of wine without a second thought. 

Wine prices in Vegas are ridiculous. Nobody drinks wine out here. Why are the bottles so much more expensive than in LA where everyone drinks wine? Asks my rotting liver and stomach ulcer.

I’d like to reshoot this photo with my natural grey hair. 

Hey! 

World Ice Art Championships

Fairbanks, Alaska

February 15 - March 31, 2020

https://www.icealaska.org/volunteering.html

Let’s Volunteer! 

Natalia

I’ve been trying for the past hour to pay my energy bill online. Hey Nevada Energy, c’mon guys. Fix your website.

I started working on Natalia.

Two-thousand dollars? For that? 

All I can say is, you guys better be adorable eight year olds with parents battling cancer. Because if you’re adults making ridiculous kindergarten crafts and asking two-thousand dollars for it, you can just fuck all the way off. 

Company employee burnout is reportedly costing America over three hundred million dollars. 

Want to know why?

On the west coast, burnout comes from having to deal with an excessive amount of homeless people and the mentally ill, plus general public stupidity and sloth, lack of safety in the work place (Osha!), and more often than not laziness and incompetence are rewarded while hard workers are required to pick up the slack. Burnout! Take this job and shove it. 

If Americans cared as much about homeless people as they do about their sides of ranch and mayonnaise, maybe we could find a solution to get these people off the streets. But no, your ranch dressing is more important.

You can make fun of Filipinos who live in a two bedroom apartment with three generations of family, but none of them are homeless. None of them are a general nuisance to society. Unlike white people who just want their family members to get out, fuck off and die.

Democrats care more about global warming than homeless people. “Save the icebergs! Fuck you human beings wasting away on the streets! Save the icebergs!” Was homelessness brought up once during the Democratic debates? I bet icebergs were.

Americans are greedy and selfish. They want instant fortune and fame through Twitter and Instagram, just for being alive and naked. God forbid they should keep their clothes on, and work, labor, EARN, get their hands dirty and sweat. There’s not a talented actor, director, musician, artist, writer, or photographer, who didn’t move furniture, bartend, wait tables, and/or grind away working construction. Every American should have to work mandatory one year as a server. 

My stalkers are pretty much on my dick 24/7 but today they outdid themselves. I went to Walmart to pick up shoe insoles, and because it’s a been a long time, maybe a year, I

also picked up some candy. M&M’s. When I got home I threw the M&M’s in my fridge unopened. And naturally an hour later there was a single blue M&M outside my door. 

STALKERS. 

https://youtu.be/h0JvF9vpqx8 

Aramis calls them my fans, like the guys who ❤️ every picture I post on Instagram. 

Fans

Its just sad/pathetic that people get so lonely and obsessed they can’t leave you alone. I can’t think of anyone I’m interested in enough to follow them around and then anonymously let that person know I was following them around. I have never been so lonely and useless to stalk people. Plus there has never been anyone I find that interesting. 

And don’t get me started about the guys I never went on a second or first date with. Whoooo. Them be a whole other breed of nutjob. 

Men who stalk women and then wonder why they’re so lonely and unhappy, need to hire companionship. Not hookers. Well, maybe hookers, but more so companionship. You can hire women companions. It’s a real thing. Emotional support companions. You can hire women just to sit and talk with you for two hours. They have a respectable title. They’re very expensive. Way more expensive than a $200 quickie hooker handjob. These women are like $700-$1,000 an hour. At least they’re paying attention to you. Hookers don’t even pay attention to you. 

I couldn’t sit and talk to some slob for an hour. Not even for $1,000. In and out, baby! Ten minutes tops! Eww. Not even that. I remember when men who looked for girls were attractive. Dressed well. Sophisticated. Rich. They just hated their wives. Now they’re disgusting slobs. What happened, guys? You don’t own any mirrors? Male escorts should be making a killing now. What wife in her right mind wants the company of these disgusting slobs? Let alone having to endure these slobs huffing and puffing on top of them. YUCK.

Some junkie knocked on my downstairs neighbor’s door and asked if he could drink from the water bowl I leave out for Miso. My neighbor said he didn’t care. The junkie actually thanked my neighbor and drank a little water from Miso’s bowl. I’m not sure how I feel about this. I brought the bowl upstairs afterwards, thoroughly washed it out by hand with very hot water and Dawn dish soap, and refilled the bowl with fresh clean water. It’s back outside on the stoop. 

I’m not sure how I feel about this. I mean drink the water if you need to, right? But then again I’m hyper protective of that kitty cat. I would commit justifiable homicide with my bare hands for that kitty. That’s the kitty’s water bowl, motherfucker! See what I mean? Cats are smart. They won’t touch anything that’s been sullied. Me neither. Filthy pigs! Still, I could kneel on a man’s (or woman’s) chest and strangle him (or her) to death with my bare hands for that cat. I firmly believe my path brought me here, to this apartment, to this barren wasteland of a city, to find and care for this cat. 

Cats are gods. I hear you lord and master. Kitty treats. Chicken not salmon. Both soft chew, and crunchy. Got it. 

Toe beans

It’s not big enough.😞

Not my new mug. I broke my beautiful big red mug that has traveled with me for many years.😭 I saw this mug yesterday and picked it up. I’d have to drink 20 cups to get my sweet caffeine elixir fix. Size queen.

“Due to unfortunate circumstances I’m awake.”

The search continues. As always. 

Looking

Where are you?

You men

You make it so difficult. You all think I just sit around waiting for you with nothing to do. 

Getting to know you is supposed to be fun. Enjoyable. Dare I say pleasurable. But it’s NONE of those things when I’m busy during the day with my business and you nag me to death all day long about stupid petty shit. 

I am starting a new business. I have a business partner who does not live in the same state as me, nor does he appreciate deadlines or other business hours of operations we rely on. Which requires me to chase after him all day long. Plus I have other things going on as well. My days are jam packed stressful to say the least. That is why when I tell you, “Hey sorry but I’ll have to get back in touch with you later.” It in fact means hey sorry I’m busy now and I’ll have to get back in touch with you later. But no. You men. You can’t let an afternoon go by and let me do my thing. You gotta poke, text, poke, poke, text, nag, text, poke, poke, nag, text. 

Jesus FUCKING Christ. I’m busy.

Getting to know you shouldn’t feel like a second job. And it always does. 

I don’t have time for little chit chat text messages during the day. I’m sorry you’re bored. I got things to do.

I was going to meet someone TOMORROW at 11am, but he just absolutely had to know at 3pm TODAY where that was going to be. Fuck. I don’t know, honey. I’m busy. I’ll have to get back to you. But no. He had to know right NOW at 3pm. Can you give me some time? I’m busy right now. Can I get back to you? No? Well now I’m not meeting him. Irritating son of a bitch. 

You men. You take all the fun out of getting to know you.

Bricks in the wall

Where we at?

BLOCKED #483

“Forget the cat. It can take care of himself.”

You’re an asshole. Get out of my apartment.

Tuesday

I woke up in a good mood. Shocking. It’s gorgeous outside. Perfect 82 degrees. Off to meeting #1. 

Oh lawd, these men who think it’s attractive and sexy to show off how much money they spend on themselves. 🙄😜🤪 YEP sexy 👍🏻

One more...

Married man looking for free sex. 🤦🏻‍♀️ 

If sex was free you wouldn’t be married there, boss.

PC load letter!

“What the fuck does that mean?”

https://youtu.be/5QQdNbvSGok

I’m in hell, Aramis. For two days now I’ve been trying to forward my domain to our website and NOTHING is working. I did the thing with the IPv4 address, nothing. 

I need a drink.

Drink! 

Post of shame

Greetings from the barren wasteland. 

I believe the eyeshadow color is called trailer trash blue. 

I don’t live in a trailer. Yet. 

I’m watching the director, Zack Snyder, narration of 300. He was talking about how awkward it was directing the love scene. “Could you move your stuff that way a little.” Funny. I could never direct, anything. People would die. Everyone. Like Shakespeare. I’m more interested in creating the visual fantasy and make believe than actual story telling. Art direction, I’m your girl. Story direction, nope. That’s in part why I love books and movies so much, I absolutely love and admire good story tellers. Get me out of this horrid reality for a while I beg you. 

Twice over Labor Day weekend I went to Fremont Street. It’s one of those places during the summer months with the free concert series going I just get to where I’m going. I don’t hang out. I hate being cattled. Was that Vanilla Ice, on stage? Good lord. We were being cattled for Vanilla Ice? I was out for about three hours. Then I went home and watched Swingers. The movie. Not actual swingers. Good grief. I’m 50 years old. I get more pleasure watching my coffee maker brew that sweet caffeine elixir. 

There’s a “Whoo Vegas!” scene in Swingers that makes me laugh. Truth. Younger  kids, sitting in the car making the three and half hour trip from LA to “Whoo Vegas!” in the middle of the night. But two hours into the drive the enthusiasm is completely gone. You don’t care anymore. You just want to get there. Yep. Makes me laugh every time. Been there. Been there. Been there. 

Menstrual cycle, peri menopause, migraines, cramping, arthritis, it must be Monday. 

Have, and have not, means something else entirely today than thirty years ago. Thirty years ago you either had a Porsche 911, or you had a station wagon. You either had expensive designer clothes, or you had Target bought clothes. Today, you either have somewhere to go, or you have not. You either have clean hair and clothes, food in your fridge, a roof over your head, or you have not. So every time I hear an “actress” complain about making one million dollars per movie instead of thirteen million, I just want to throw dog poop at her. You’re making a million dollars to do what your supposedly love! Shut up. Ugh. Makes me ill. That’s another reason I could not direct. (Sigh) no, I guess that too falls under the everyone would die, category. 

Wednesday. 3:11pm

It’s 107 degrees outside. Disgusting. I’m watching Miso sleep. He’s been here since 10am. I changed my schedule for the summer just to be home during the days so Miso always has some place to go if he needs it. I’ll change my schedule during the winter so he’ll have some place to always go during the cold winter nights. What am I going to do with this kitty cat?? I should just move and adopt him. I don’t think he would stay inside though. He’s used to going out when he wants. Plus so many other people in the neighborhood enjoy his company too, but does he enjoy theirs? I think my apartment is his quiet place. No kids. No other pets. Heat. Air conditioning. Food. Water. A bed. Just me and him. 

I’ve been working hard on the card company. I don’t know how to change the domain I bought six months ago to my current web host. A-record? Where’s the A-record? “PC load letter? What the hell is PC load letter?!” Ha. Love that movie. 

Ok well, the heat drops down under 100 degrees next week, yaaay! Of course the print shops for the greeting cards and postcards are all out in the middle of nowhere. Hopefully I’ll get some good visual shots while out in the barren wasteland. Time to drum up some cash. You know how filmmakers are always talking about going out to find money? Where exactly? Where do you guys find your millions of dollars to make your films? I don’t need a million dollars. It would be nice, but I don’t need a million dollars. 

Okay okay okay. A million dollars. If you insist.

So, Halloween 🎃👻...