Time to go

I’m not a huge Burt Reynolds, fan, but THE LAST MOVIE STAR was amazing. It’s how we all want to be remembered isn’t it? One final brilliant piece of art before we die. 

Yesterday Miso stray cat paid me a visit all day. He came over around 10am, and left around 10pm. He stopped by again today around 9am but left ten minutes later. I haven’t see him since. He prefers the neighbor’s lawn. Does he want to be my kitty cat, or not? Sorry kitty, I have to leave Las Vegas. You need to decide if you come with me or not.

The only two places that really interest me are Alaska, and the Bay Area. 

I’m torn about taking Miso stray cat with me. There are days when I think he wants to be my cat, but then there are days like today when the only thing he knows is this neighborhood. How distressing would it be for him to leave the only thing he knows? I think I’m the only one who can love him, and take care of him, but that’s not true. He’s not with me every day. Like today, it’s 109 degrees out today and he wanted to leave the comforts of my air conditioned apartment, clean water, and food, to go who knows where. 

A friend and I briefly talked about moving back to Los Angeles, but I know my friend, he’s talked about divorcing his wife and moving back to LA since July 2017. All my friends who currently want to get divorces have been talking about getting divorces for years. They won’t. And I don’t blame them. I’ve been alone since 2012. It’s hard at our age to be alone. Very hard. The only reason I’m good at it is because I was alone before I got married in 2003. Whereas my friends have always had someone. Have always wanted to be with someone. All I’ve ever wanted was my art. I got married because I wanted to share a normal life with someone. I wanted the normal life rather than the man who came along. I should have gotten a cat then. 

Single men in their 50’s and older are completely insane with desperation. More fearful than usual. They’re desperate to find someone to take care of them. I don’t blame them. Taking care of yourself when you’re sick is hard. Last winter I had bronchitis and laryngitis, both times with a scorching fever, and it was very hard getting myself on the mend both times, alone. But I’m not going to be the one to take care of you when you’re sick. Sorry. If I can do it by myself, so can you. I still want a relaxing normal life with someone but I think it’s going to be with cats. 

SO

Alaska, or a small part of the Bay Area?