Wut?

I’m a patient person. I can stand in line. I can sit in traffic. I can listen to people complain. For a while. A short while. You can ask me for directions and if I know it I’ll drop everything and tell you. If I don’t know the way, I’ll look it up on my phone for you. Once. Maybe twice.

But my patience has limits. 

The moment you start asking me for directions to five places, I’m out. Where’s your cell phone? Computer? IPAD? Home telephone? You didn’t think about where you had to go before you left the house? 

Because I’m a woman, people think they can just ask me for anything, mostly for directions, money, and sex, and they actually think I’m supposed to give it to them. 

This one’s my favorite...

I obviously have headsets on and people will stand directly in front of me and just start talking. Full on conversation. No “excuse me” or “pardon me”. It’s amusing. I always play it off like they’re talking on their Bluetooth. I know they’re not, but the lack of etiquette in this country is sad.

Minutes ago, I just asked a guy I text with last week how his weekend was, and he replied, “Great jacked off many times.” 

Um. Ok. 

Classy.

I have the night off and was going to ask if he wanted to grab a drink and get to know each other (much, much) better, but now I think I’ll pass. That’s cool. Whatever. I can do laundry.

The interesting thing about Jackoff is, we might be working together soon. I applied for a company, let’s call it the Gold Company, three weeks ago. That company called me back a week later for an interview. (Interviews in Las Vegas are auditions. The bigger the company brand, the bigger the cattle-call audition. My interview had about 200 other applicants.) We applicants were informed that if we made it to round two, we would receive a phone call later that day. I did not receive a phone call. So a week after my audition/interview I happened to start texting with a guy who works for that very company I interviewed with. Of course I didn’t tell him about the interview.

So now...

A week later, for the past week, I got a job with a different company and have been working there. Then yesterday I received an email from the Gold Company that read, “Congratulations on your first well done interview. We would like to invite you to the second interviewing process with a smaller group before our management panel.” 

I happen to have Friday off, so I’m going. 

Jackoff told me he’s in management, but the Gold Company has many departments and many different branches of management. 

I guess we’ll see if I’ll be standing before Jackoff on Friday. I should probably mention I never actually met Jackoff. How interesting would it be if the first time we met was at my second interview?