MATCHDOTCOM

Bob Gordon says he wants to meet a woman his own age. He said he always thought it would be kinky to finally have sex with a woman his own age, instead of women who are always 15-20 years younger. 

But Bob, you’re in your mid-sixties. 

You want to have sex with a woman in her mid-sixties?

Really??

No. Ok. I totally get it.

I’d like to meet a guy my age too. Someone I’m actually sexually attracted to. Someone in shape. Someone who likes being outdoors a lot. Someone who likes being active OUTDOORS. Someone who eats healthy. Someone who likes sushi, damnit. I’m tired of meeting men who don’t eat Asian food. 

Also,

Someone who isn’t fat.

Match.

Just downloaded the app. 

There’s already two guys on there (seriously) worth the money. Naturally, I had to scan past 300 profiles to find these two. It’s kinda like looking for work in Vegas. Then again I’m not looking for 300 jobs, just two. One of the two guys I “liked” is a grandpa. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little lured in at the prospect of being a step-grandma. Smart choice with the photo of you holding your daughter’s baby, mister. At my age, photos of sexy men holding little babies (grandkids) and photos of men hanging out with doggies outdoors, are totally attractive. It shows they like family, dogs, exercise, and playing outside. It’s a good start. 

Anyone ever use Bumble?

Woman isn’t meant to hike the open roads alone. I am officially on a mission.