Grandma fell down! And I was sober. I didn't have my walker with me. You know, the one with the tennis balls.
You know, I'm a drinker. I like to drink. I like being around other drinkers. NOT DRUNKS. Drinkers. If you can't handle your booze I don't want to hang out with you. I've never fallen down after drinking. Stone sober I ate it. Dinged my knee. Messed up the leg of my pants.
I'm moving into my own place at the end of the month. I've been renting from a guy who would absolutely sue the fuck out of me if he recognized his house in any form of adult content. It's been MONTHS since I shot pics of my vagina and just like the rest of me, that too looks like it's still in high school. Perverts. You can look, no touching.
I want to be roommates with THIS GUY
Oh Google Express, with THIS campaign.
Where have I heard of this sock stealing before?? Where o' where?? MAYBE THIS BLOG ??
First of all, you know that ad doesn't even make sense right? I mean the woman is under her kitchen sink for god friggin' sake AND THEN she just randomly asks if the other woman took her socks? For shame, Google. For shame!!! Amateurs.
Secondly, hell yes bitch. I STOLE YOUR SOCKS.
Borrow whatever you want from this shit-can of a blog, I don't care. But wouldn't it have made more sense if the woman was in her bedroom drawer looking for socks, rather than under her kitchen sink? Dude. Know what I'm saying?
I know. I know. Look at me, all, thinking.
Sooooo, hey Facebook, heeeyyyy. I really like the 2017 recaps. It's very cool. But um, so, like, here's the thing, the thing is, I don't actually know Ken Bek. He's just the good looking ginger model who posed in a calendar of ginger men, only he was the only calendar model I was really into, and so, and so like... point is, I don't actually know him. But thanks for including him in my 2017 mo's anyway.
Al (mother f**king) Franken!!! Unlike SOME PEOPLE I can actually be bipartisan. I know good dems when they come along (rare as that may be) and Al Franken, was one of the good guys. He quit too soon. He should have fought harder. What a quitter. And I feel it's important to say this because I'm from Minnesota, and I'm a conservative, and a woman.
So let's go back...
I was born in 1969. I grew up in Minneosta. It was a heavily conflicted state when I was a kid. Majority of the state were farmers and laborers, still are. My dad was one of the few men I knew who actually wore suits and ties to work. My dad was a union man (for farmers and laborers). Back then it was called the AFL-CIO. Furthermore. MN was heavily religious, still is, Lutherans and Catholics. It was also a democratic state, still is, and a pro gun, and pro hunting state, which it still is. See what I mean? Conflict. Even in the 70's and 80's.
Religion
Pro-life
Guns
Hunting
Hard winters
Laborers
Farmers
Democrats
I was lucky. I never knew hunger, crime, violence, or hardship. But then again, us kids were raised a little tougher. A lot tougher! My upper back strength came from YEARS of shoveling snow in -15 degree weather. Kids literally had to learn how to use a compass. We had to learn barks of trees. Do you know what white-out, is? It's a state of confusion the brain has when the snow covers everything combined with mid-day bright sunshine, and you lose your bearings completely, on foot and on the road. You have to either use a compass and/or be able to recognize houses and trees because the snow has covered literally everything else. The town I grew up in had ONE stop light. No street lights. ONE gas station. One high school. ONE junior high school. Lots and lots of gorgeous land. Lots of trees. But in the winters you really only saw (sometimes) mere tree tops and partially exposed sides of houses. Cutting through backyards that sit on acres of land, and parks, and frozen lakes, in a light flurry, additionally in bright sun light, after heavy snowfall... it's actually pretty easy to get confused in a white-out.
I'm not complaining. I'm sure I did when I was a kid. But as an adult I'm grateful for my childhood. I never really KNEW what misfortune was.
Dads drank
Moms drank
Grandparents drank
Everyone drank
Everyone smoked cigarettes
I started smoking when I was 12 years old
(by 17 years of age my parents were buying cigarettes for me)
Pregnant women smoked.
Kids all smoked pot
I'm sure adults did too.
Affairs happened
Pervy touchie-feelie relatives (Thanks for the lacy panties, uncle Mike!)
Dirty jokes
Skin mags
One or two kids got smacked around
someone's wife got smacked around
Chances are they deserved it now and again
AND BEFORE YOU GO CRAZY with that last sentence, bear in mind if it's "OK" to beat the hell out of your disrespectful kid, and your disrespectful man, then HELL YES it's ok to beat the shit out of your CRAZY (out of control) disrespectful woman!
Fair is fair.
Why do women always think they get a free pass?? They can do all the beating but not get beat?? Are you serious?? There were only two kinds women when I was kid, the women who earned a good man, and the bitchy cunts who thought they were entitled to a good man.
"Being a woman is hard!!"
No. It's not. You're stupid. Stop talking to me.
Fist fights over guns
Kids knew how to use heavy farm machinery
Milk a cow
Work in the orchards and farms starting at 4am
(to me that's actually all fun)
What didn't kill us, made us stronger
Everyone mind their own business... until an innocent bone got broken and then someone got their ass beat up good and sent to the ER. Right or wrong, that's how things got taken care of.
The only cops I ever saw as a kid (aside from the ones escorting my dad's ex-wife off his property) were the ones senior citizens called on my friends and I for noise. And that happened (maybe) three times? Everything else got taken care of privately.
I got shot. No one went to jail. No one was arrested. I didn't die. Life went on.
Because we were raised tougher.
I'm not saying it's right or wrong. Just tougher.
AL Franken, was a rare voice of reason in politics like Jesse Ventura. I have nothing but respect for Jesse Ventura as MN governor. He was a very progressive forward-thinking kind of person that all parties could communicate with. Well spoken. Intellectual. Same with Al Franken. And then this shit. What happened to investigation, innocent until PROVEN guilty? There's a lot of back and forth regarding the photo of him supposedly groping the "sleeping" playmate in kevlar. Other than that, accusations? Is this all it takes now? Accusations??
Honestly...
I'm really tired of these women.
Every time another woman gets on TV now and says, "I was harassed"... I suddenly have the urge to punch her in the face.
I'm sick of it.
It was 30 years ago. Either cope, or admit yourself into a mental hospital. Those are your only two options.
Being groped and grabbed against your will is WRONG. But so is lying and behaving hysterically for attention. He said. She said. I think a lot of these women are just hysterical. We had a cure in Minnesota for hysterical women, mental institutions, and all a spouse or next of kin had to do was sign her admittance papers. That's literally all it took to admit a hysterical woman back then. Once a teenager learned he could admit his own mother into an asylum, well, things were more peaceful in the house if she was reasonable. The polite term for her condition is, "Nervous breakdown."
Regarding Al Franken, there's no actual proof with anyone but the photo, and I'm still going to need more evidence.
And the thing that gets me, I mean really gets me, is how F-10 epic the initial harassment scandal BACKFIRED. Holy shit. Backfired. Is there a movie we're allowed to watch anymore??
The Oscars. Are you NOT a white male between the ages of 35-80. Congratulations you won an Oscar!!
John Conyers, sexual harassment token black man!!
It's junior high school out there. Not even junior high school. Playground.
Do these women know how to slap a man across the face? Just curious. Kick a man in the balls? There's an unspoken exchange of immediate justice that can happen when men act like shit towards women. If you grab me, my arm, my boob, my ass, buddy I'm going to knee you in the nuts, hard. It's gonna hurt. Bad. You might bleed.
If you're from (pick a big city) things like guys jerking off in front of you happens at least once every three years. We joke about it. We bitch about it. Of course it's WRONG but we move on. Only in Hollywood, and Washington DC, can women NOT move on (jeezus christ, 30 years later?! Are you fucking kidding me?!)
Speaking about things that aren't there...
You politicians and your drama. Another piece of French art was recently criticized, 80 YEARS AFTER IT WAS PAINTED, for "resembling" child pornography -- you people are fucking high. This painting was done 80 years ago.
Kudos to THE MET for not taking the painting down.
Do you morons know what pornography is?? No really, do you??
Will someone show these assholes porn.
I'm not going to talk about the differences between art and pornography, not today, but seriously... HOW do you get from THIS PAINTING to calling it pornography?? I think it says more about you than it does the painting. Meanwhile Toddlers and Tiaras, now that's wholesome good television, right?? Five year olds running around wearing lipstick and rouge, little cowgirl outfits, knee high boots and strutting down a runway, bouncing their hip, winking at the camera, because that's wholesome?? -- This country has lost it's collective fucking minds.
Human beings are breaking down. They're losing their ability to cope. And the only way I can make sense of it is Darwinism. The 1% isn't about wealth. It's about survival.
SEX ROBOTS is one of the answers. Stepford Wives. Absolutely. I'm behind it 100%. Make them more affordable. That way no one's stealing them. This guy's dick got so hard he reportedly STOLE this sex robot. That could have been an actual woman. Thank goodness it was a sex robot! I watched the video. That guy straight up broke in, and stole JUST the sex robot.
Wow. I mean. Wow. Look at her. I want to play with her boobs.
What was I talking about?
2,500 Euro is, what, about $3,000 U.S.? HEY, um, so, like, my birthday is next month. :)
If you have children I'm telling you now, listen to me, secure their education in robotics, engineering, and/or science. Artificial Intelligence is their future.
Those with a profitable education are the REAL 1%.
Robots are the future.
Wow. Seriously. Look at those boobs!
Have a great day, darlings.
Love, grandma.
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