Jibo me good and hard!

That has nothing to do with today's blog. 

It's just... I want a Jibo. 

Jibo is cheaper than the new Iphone. 

Get a JIBO!! 

We have A LOT to cover here, professor. Let's get going. 

The other day, my favorite lesbian ELLEN, dropped some K-pop on her show. 

Ellen had these K-pop guys BTS

But I gotta say MY J-pop guys BAP way cooler.

And speaking of Korea vs. Japan, if you regularly read this giant pile of nonsense I call a blog than you know the Asian part in me is in fact Korean. And as you know, Koreans don't like Japanese government, and vice versa. Maybe if Japan would stop trying to occupy Korea, or Asia in general, there would be less animosity between these two countries. Lord knows Korea had/has enough on their hands with short fat squinty tiny cock dictators trying to take over the one and only true Republic Of Korea, they don't need any more. Yeah, I said it. Republic of Korea. Take your "Peoples Republic" and shove it up your ass. BAP slays BTS, and that's my contribution to peace with Japan. I like the Japanese boy band better than the Korean one. Wa-POW! 

Aaaaaand I'm not the only who has controversy with Japan. Apparently San Francisco, has decided to end their peaceful brotherhood with Osaka, by erecting THIS statue. BTW why the fuck is always art?? Why can't you guys just once follow the Marines and draw penises in the sky? Or a big fuck you middle finger in the sky? We artists have enough problems displaying our works without being censored because some goddamn politician made a controversial statement using a sculpture or a painting! 

But no...

San Francisco, put up THIS statue in remembrance to all the young girls/women who were kidnapped and raped by Japanese soldiers during WWII. 

"Comfort girls" that's what these raped girls were called. They were forced to service in "comfort camps" where reportedly girls as young as 13 were raped up to 10 times a day. And now Japan is angry at San Francisco for this statue. Japan wants bygones to be bygones, just like Germany doesn't want to be known for Hitler. Nonetheless, Hitler's not going to be forgotten any time soon. Neither will "comfort girls". Sorry. 

Buuuuut here's where THINGS gets tricky because Japan ALSO has a statue in remembrance to the young girls/women victimized by WWII Japanese soldiers...

And soooo... 

I'm confused.

People should remember the young girls and women victimized by WWII Japanese rapey soldiers in Japan, just not in San Francisco?  

Or... ??

Is Osaka saying their statue is not really a statue of remembrance in a lets be better fucking humans, kind of way, but rather a fond remembrance in a hi-five, kind of way?  

I'm... confused. 

And speaking of rapey and/or sexually inappropriate men...

Matt Lauer 

You know what, fuck it. 

  

(sigh)

What kind of grandmother would I be if I didn't wipe the snot from your face and insist you get a haircut? It's an old woman, semi retired hag, right to passage thing. I want to die in a Monet painting surrounded by beautiful elegant pastel people. Now go get a haircut you look like shit!

Twinkle tush. This is a new trend for your cat's butt hole. It's a little piece of ghetto bling that wraps around your cat's tail, covering your cat's butt hole. You're welcome. Merry Christmas.  

Anal diamonds? Amateurs. Your cat has Twinkle Tush! 

Do you know what yesterday was? Do ya? Well apparently it was CAR ACCIDENT DAY in Summerlin. Thank you all for participating? And at the same time! 

Aaaaand the Ballagio got robbed yesterday around 3pm. SOMEONE saw '3,000 Miles To Graceland' one too many times. No one was hurt. Awesome. And because no one was hurt I'm seriously hoping the casino robber was dressed like Elvis! 

Next year for Halloween, I want to get a bunch of grandmas to dress like Elvis!

Heading to the bingo parlors after I type this to pitch my Halloween Elvis idea. 

Actually I just like playing Bingo. I'm old. Finally, I can admit I like Bingo. I also knit. Yesterday I ate some prunes. A little backed up. TMI? Too bad! You know what I do here.

Dear Susan Sarandon, I love you. I'm not a feminist though I would be if the modern definition of the word wasn't:  I hate men. I hate my vagina even more. 

Actually that's the title of the book I'm working on... and something I say every night just before I go to bed, and again every morning as I open my eyes right after, "Shit. Not again." XD The struggle is real!! 

  

Congratulations to the (soon to be) new royal couple. Yes, I'm a royal watcher. Prince Harry. HOT. I have a thing for redheads. 

Dear Ken Bek, our babies would have been outrageously beautiful! 

Even in black and white!

Like James Spader's character in THE BLACKLIST said, "I couldn't care less who's in the White House." Agreed. I couldn't either. Regardless of all the presidents I've seen come and go, some I've actually even voted for, my life has never been specifically altered one way or the other, good or bad, no matter who sat or sits in that oval office chair. 

Anyway...

That's it for now. Grandma has to run out and buy jumper cables. No, not for a car. It's for... it's for... it's...