Bring on the heat

Lets see... whip out my check list.

Accidentally moved to Vegas - again. Mhmm.

Got all my Vegas licenses needed to get a job

And then

I got a job

A paycheck job 

A J.O.B. 

Job

Good. Got that out of the way. Guess I'll have to stop saying things like "blowjob" on the internet. What about naked pictures and sex videos? I'll probably have to stop doing all that online too. Doesn't matter. It's all comedy to me now anyway. I'm old. No one wants to see me naked. That's why it's funny.

I'm a pretty serious person, really. Capricorn. Self deciplined. I just like to cut loose on occasion and pretend I'm sexy and artsy. Know what I mean? Do you hear that new employer? It's only entertainment. I know sex is YUCKY. Especially MFM. Me and two hot guys. So damn YUCKY. You don't have to tell me twice. No sir. 

The next 3-5 years will be devoted to earning my master sommelier diploma anyway. 

The wine industry says 3-5 years to earn the master diploma. As of a few years ago there were only 25 women in the entire country with a master sommelier diploma. 125 men. 25 women. In the entire country. A master sommelier diploma is incredibly hard to achieve. Challenge accepted. 

As your sommelier I'll show up for our first business meeting in a TIGHT black elegant dress, fishnets, high inch heels, black wrist gloves, a sheik hat... possibly a whip. 

If after 2022 I walk away with only an advanced sommelier diploma, I'm ok with it. I'm only going to pay the master exam once. If you fail you have to pay it again, in full, no discount. Around $900. The only way I would change my mind is if I earned a pretty decent living for the following 20-25 years as a high 5-figure som, and then I would attempt the master exam again in (what would be) my retirement years. 

The good thing is, you never retire from being a som. If I spend my dying days in a vineyard, drinking wine, still making art, then I will have accomplished what I dreamed about as a kid. I really am quite the simpleton. 

And 

While I'm studying the sommelier entry exam, I'm also looking for a more permanent place to live. I got unbelievably lucky thus far to rent a room from a very, very cool guy. I'm totally grateful. Through the channels that be, the room was offered to me on a month to month basis. I couldn't have gotten my start without his spare room. It's been my base for the past 24 days. Some place to sleep, shower, etc. Anytime you move into a new city to start over, especially one like Vegas, there's a lot you have to accomplish before you can even look for work. I'm so grateful. Truly. 

So now I need a place to study. 

And 

I'm told

On occasion I need to be distracted with my "rotation" of lovers. I was recently informed this is what busy single people do for companionship, get a rotation of regular lovers. Kind of a depressing thought, really. I'm just not that kind of girl. I don't "rotate" lovers like a restaurant pantry. FIFO. First in, first out. Not my style. No judgement. Just not my style. I like the connection.  

I'm perfectly fine masturbating to movies. For example, movies starring Mads Mikkelsen. (Rogue One - A Star Wars Story). I only watched that movie because Mikkelsen, is in it. 

Dear new employer, masturbation is ok, right? 

What's that? So long as I don't do it on the internet? 

Are you sure?

God damn it. 

Fine.

I'll keep it artsy and classy on the internet. Leave the naughty stuff for those in the know.

If you want to Netflix another good movie, see The BUCKET LIST. 

Anyway

This is old news, but

Michelle Carter, the woman in Mass., who supposedly encouraged her boyfriend to kill himself reportedly only got 15 months in jail. Hmm. Only 15 months in jail? no kidding. Huh? 15 months. 15 months. Still worth it? 

How did Carter only get 15 months?  

Borgia, just became Pope. If you saw this episode of THE BORGIAS than you're familiar with the chamber pot scene, aaaaand it happened while I was online pondering Chinese food. Mongolian beef, anyone? Extra sauce? Blaaaaa!! NO. And she didn't even flinch getting a face full of poo. Happens to her character a lot, does it? 

(I wrote that last part about Borgia, a week ago. I'm way further along in the series now.)

Also

For all of you who's socks I've stolen over the years, though technically I don't think it's stealing when you know I took them, well there's a karma and his name is Romeo, as in a dog. This dog. This handsome devil. He stole my socks!

I had to chase after Romeo while he took my balled up socks in his mouth and ran through the house with them. I'm still missing socks. I had to go to Tar-zhay yesterday and buy another 6 pairs. We'll see how long they last. 

So. Socks. Once upon a time I met a boy. He and I were friends both in and out of the bedroom, for like 6 months. I wondered how did I get so lucky. A friend AND a lover. I was the luckiest girl in the world, or so I thought. AND THEN one cool night at his place my feet got cold. He gave me a pair of his socks to wear to bed. Oh so comfy were those sock, I wore those socks home. "Do you still have my socks?" he text me. I text him back that I did. "You're gonna bring them back, right?" He asked, and I jokingly replied "NO they're comfy. I'M KEEPING THEM." (winky face) Like that. In caps. With a winky face. He didn't reply. Not only did he not reply, he wouldn't text me back, AND he stopped taking my calls. I never saw or heard from him again. Over socks. seriously. Socks. 

Naturally I told all my friends I got dumped over a pair of socks, and jokingly made a BIG DEAL about it on the internet. Yeah. Because I'm mature like that. I take out my personal baggage on the internet. 

I mean, really? He dumped me and our friendship over a pair of socks. I even put a winky face after my last text. Isn't the winky face supposed to mean I'm joking? A NORMAL GUY would have said something like, "Bring back my socks or I'm going to tie you up and spank your ass next time I see you!" 

Although, that's not really a threat. But you know what I'm saying.

Oh well.

So, Romeo stole my socks.

Karma. Got me. (There. Happy?) 

Ok 

Back to reading my wine text book and pronouncing all the French words wrong. 

I should get another French tutor. 

A really hot male French tutor. You know, for my studies.