Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I'm officially grossed out

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Sunday, November 27, 2016

Bitches

A more common term among younger European men, I think. The first time I heard it was with a guy from Switzerland who said he lost his virginity to a bitch. I think I said something like, "I'm sorry she was mean" and he just looked at me funny. 

I think it's just short for "bitch in heat" as in, no woman would choose to be a hooker unless she was a bitch in heat. I've only ever heard that term from younger Euro men.

Kevin Spacey, said it best

When asked for the one-millionth time about his sexuality, Kevin Spacey, replied, "There was a time when a man could be discreet and he was considered a gentleman."

Best response ever.

Life or death sex

I'm going to assume that's worse than grudge sex!;)

I don't think people bear in mind it truly is OK if we don't have sex. I MUCH RATHER masturbate than deal with emotionally unstable, violent, rapey creeps. Also, full disclosure is cool, but I don't need to know every single person a guy (or girl) has had sex with. It's not necessary and (for me) it's a giant turn off. There was a girl who, everyone eventually knew her, she played with everyone, didn't matter who, what, where, when, or why. She just indiscriminately fucked everyone. Truthfully I think she has a mental problem. But she should have changed her name to "Oh you fucked her too??" And when a guy I was interested in wrote me to meet for a drink, I put an end to it ASAP before it began if I saw a testimonial by her.

I'm old school. It's ok (I guess) if you want to be a whore, just have some class or at the very least some self respect about it. You like to fuck. A lot. At random. I get it. Can you just not advertise it? 

 I'm old. I like my packaging all pretty, new, and shiney, smelling like daisies and honey! lol;)

Low rotation. High volume intensity.

Though... Nowadays... I want like 4 different blood tests... I want every blood, semen, and saliva test... I've been tested for TB!!! Hardcore!!! Have you been tested for TB??!!... Do they test for lepracy???? Have YOU been tested for lepracy??? lol!;)

Turberculosis

That was the skin test & why they did X-Rays. I've been exposed to TB but do not have TB, obviously or we wouldn't have worked together. Some time, somewhere I breathed the same air as someone infected with TB. Chances are they didn't even know they had TB.

Dude, they can find everything and anything in your body now. After my car accident the X-Ray tech said, "Your jaw pops when you talk and chew, doesn't it."

It does.

Remember when smallpox made a brief come-back! Everyone was running out and getting vaccinated! Weren't we vaccinated for that as kids? Up until the 80's, right?

It's a shame. I love certain play but...

Too afraid these days.

You have Shingles to look forward to. I've already had it.

How fucked up is it that all humans have the Shingles virus in them even after chickenpox our bodies are like "Hell no! There's more!"

Saturday, November 26, 2016

Men masturbating solo

This isn't a popular subject in porn, is it. Not even in gay porn. I've been looking past 15 minutes for a video where it's just white men, beefy bears, solo, ages 40-55, masturbating... in the gay porn section... to no avail.

Can't a straight girl just watch a man masturbate?! Seriously!!

Fuck it.

I've got a camera. Access to pro cams. I'm going to start filming men. I've even got access to cranes!!

Who wants to jerk off for me? Wide angle lense!! Huh? Huh? Who's with me?!

No one makes porn for straight women. We want to see men dammit.:)

Just men. Alone. Solo. NO PUSSY. Just men. Jerking off with giant cum loads.

"Hey buddy. You look kinda beefy. When was the last time you came? Four days? Perfect!! Care to jerk off for me and let me film it?"

Three doctor rule

If three health care professionals agree, I trust it. More than three healthcare professionals have prescribed tetracycline in my lifetime, and luckily I've never experienced the side effect of itchy butt, or black hairy tongue! And even if I did get those side effects I wouldn't think it was the tetracycline!;)

penicillin?

When I got shot with a pellet gun. I forget about the hole in my ankle until I see photos of my leg, and oh hey, that's right, I got shot once. After getting shot was the last time a doctor accidentally gave me penicillin, which put me in anaphylactic shock.

I'm allergic to penicillin, or so I've always been told. But now, according to NBC Nightly News, with Lester Holt, I may not REALLY be allergic to penicillin. According to NBC I might have been misdiagnosed. WTF?!

Not that tetracycline has been bad for me, I'm still alive, so...

But, really, am I allergic to penicillin or not?!

Sure I could get tested again. But then another 10 years from now I might get another accidental dose of penicillin, and OOPS, no, our bad, you're really allergic after all.

** If it's not the penicillin putting me in anaphylactic shock, than I don't really need to know what is at my age. Let's just continue blaming it on the penicillin. **

Everyone's a pro

Even the guy who crunches numbers for a living, if he has a search engine, he's suddenly a medical professional.

You can get Hep B vaccination at any age as long as there isn't a (current) strain of it in your blood. Back in *2004, I shared a coworkers fork a few times sharing a quick meal. Within that year my coworker told me she tested positive for Hep B and that I should get tested. The doctor who performed my test, while waiting for my results, asked why I was getting tested. I explained to him the situation with my coworker. My test result came back positive. The doctor told me the Hep B strain was so tiny it could only have come from sharing a toothbrush or a fork with someone, i.e. my coworker. The doctor said not to worry, I didn't require medication, or any medical attention, and the strain would disappear on its own, leaving only a trace of its existence.

See, doctors, health care professionals, actually know what they're talking about!

In 2008, I got a job feeding elderly people. This job required me to get FBI fingerprinted, and ran blood tests, testing me for HIV, hepatitis, etc., and even polio. My Hep B test came back negative but there was a tiny trace of its past existence though not "active". I was able to continue working with the elderly. The doctors at (this) laboratory told me my new place of employment offers Hep B vaccination. For me, in 2008, the vaccination was a series of three shots. I got the first shot at the laboratory, the second shot three days later, and the third shot two weeks later. Is the vaccination bullet proof? No. I already had a tiny strain of it four years prior, but why risk ANYTHING giving or receiving??

Are eggs good for you? Milk? Who knows?! When did humans become allergic to gluten?!

So...

Much as I would LOVE to listen to people (not medical professionals) talk about diseases, prevention, and (if any) cure. I'm going to continue listening to my health care professionals who are agreeable with one another.

FYI: You can have trace strain of Hep B in your blood and still donate blood to Red Cross, or at least you used to, you just can't have "active" Hep B. So there's my contribution to morning scare!

Regardless...

You're wearing a condom. ;)

Friday, November 25, 2016

cutting edge

Do they test for flesh eating bacteria? Is flesh eating bacteria an STD or an STI?? Look, I don't want to wake up one morning with half my leg missing!!!!!! Test me for flesh eating bacteria!!! Not saying I have it but, there HAVE been occasion where... It was questionable... And... Wait. Do condoms protect you from flesh eating bacteria????? OMG I've said "flesh eating bacteria" enough times now I'm POSITIVE I have it!!!! OMG I just said "positive"... Someone get me get me a bag I'm hyperventilating!!!!! ;)

Condoms

You're wearing them or we're not having sex. Simple.

You know it's "ok" to not have sex, right?

I love the forums. I know who's emails not to respond to.

Thank you for coming!

I've got quite the growing collection of men KIK'ing me videos of them jerking off and cumming. Know I watch the videos DAILY and play with myself while doing so. So hot! Thank you!

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Monday, November 21, 2016

Same could be said about Gaga

She thought her billions of fans could win an election. Clearly majority of America, didn't give a goddamn what Gaga had to say politically. ALSO means a great amount of her American fans said, "Love your music. Couldn't care less about your politics" and then voted for Trump.

Anthony Weiner... And I don't need to say any more.

Also...

One small observation, people like Jon Oliver, really need to tone down their disapproval of how this last presidential election turned out. And when I say "people like Jon Oliver" I mean people who didn't grow up here. He's not from here (or so says Wiki, and his English accent). It's like me having OUTRAGE over England's current prime minister. I couldn't care less. Canada's current prime minister is smoking hot, and that's the extent of my care regarding prime ministers. But for Jon Oliver, to have outrage, fuck off, or is it "piss off"? I love his show, but an 8 year old poodle from Wichita, Kansas, has more American political street cred.

Agreed, the U.S. is the most powerful nation among nations, but we're only as powerful as our weakest citizen, and we need to start taking care of those citizens at HOME before anyone else. I'm not saying be cruel, be unkind, I'm saying priorities at home need to be addressed or we're no good for anyone else.

Huh

How about that

I think I used the same line to break up with my last boyfriend.

You suck at politics

I told you

Repeatedly

There's no such thing as coincidence. 

I'm sure you're familiar with the principle of cause and effect.

"No one thinks you're funny"

My dad (may he rest in peace) has monopoly on that sentence. THEY don't think I'm funny because we've never met. THEY don't know I'm only 5'2 and cuter than a bug's nose, AND that I stopped aging at the age of 14 ...

Both mentally and physically.

YOU don't think I'm funny because you have no sense of humor, and you were bred by Eskimos who kiss by rubbing noses. Not sure how procreation works among them but that's a porno I never need to see.

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Yo Donald!

Narrowing down potential members of Cabinet is called a "short list" not "finalists" unless you intend making them parade around in bikinis and then evening gowns.;)

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

"Goddamnit Tina..."

"Look... Look here, Tina... You do... You do what Ike tells you to do... See... See... See here... Ike done made you... Ike can break you... Done fuck up a good thing... That's on you... That's your fault... See... See that... Your fault."

He's up on the mountain writing his manifesto "The Mad Uniblogger"

His last email asked if I would ever consider him for a serious swinger relationship. Prior to that all his emails were about how perfect he thought we were for each other. Long emails.

From a guy I never met.

Never spoke to on the phone.

Never text.

Never gave my number

I can only hope he doesn't make me a witness at his trial.

"Goddamnit Nicole..."

"Look what you made me do! ~ Love O.J.;) "

Monday, November 14, 2016

Please get anger management!

No clue who this guy is. Never met the guy. Never talked to him on the phone. Never gave him my phone number. He wrote me a bunch of times. Even after he huffed he would never write me again because of all the times I rejected him, he wrote me again anyway, several times. Zero interest then. I have zero interest now. I keep him at internet length. I think he suffers from O.J. anger.

Be careful.

Not kidding

Please be careful

What superintendent Michelle King meant

... To say was, "Get your fucking asses back to class!!!"

See, Ms King, it's all in the delivery.

March your ass back to class!

Question, parents, what kind of education are you hoping your kids receive by walking out of school in "protest"? This isn't their protest, it's yours.

And now the media refers to "protesters" as "marchers"?

Dear parents, you ARE aware that in other countries, children are also encouraged to walk out of classrooms, to "march" for political beliefs not of their own, resulting in civil unrest, at very least. Bombs strapped to their chest at the very most.

And why are you calling them "marchers" now? Put them in uniform and they're call "foot soldiers". Give them a gun and they're called "storm troopers".

These kids don't belong on the streets. It's Monday. They belong in a classroom. A conversation among peers is more civilized than putting your kids on the streets to march their parents politics, don't you think?

Kids have a lifetime ahead of them to fight their own battles. Don't make them fight yours too.

Sprinkle of jesus

This is an app. It's currently a top searched app.

The title of the app is silly and yet... diabolically brilliant!

I want to download this app! WHO doesn't want jesus sprinkles?! They make it sound like cupcakes! And who doesn't love cupcakes?!

But I'm not to going to download this app

I'm not

I'm NOT

But I really want to

Fighting it with all my might!

Must... resist... silly... must... resist... app... must... not... download

** Read the app reviews! **

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Reading my Bible

Turns out I'm doing a lot of stuff wrong

Saturday, November 12, 2016

Day four protester

Question, are they still just "protesters" when they shoot each other? Wouldn't you rather start another hashtag movement? No? Shooting each other is better? Ok then. Can you please not shoot each other on the 10 freeway?

My bad. They have a hashtag. Never mind. Keep shooting each other I guess if God wills it.

OKAY GOT IT

I asked him to leave me a note...

and he actually left me a note in the door https://instagram.com/p/BMt7hfBBm5U/

Because apparently his email and phone were both broken;)

Or not

I'm happy staying home. Hang at the beach. Maybe she should just have all single men over. I'm sure her husband would "love" that.;)

Fine. Let's not.

Everyone needs dates

It's his wife's new rule. She doesn't want any single women showing up. She's fine with single men, but the women all need dates. She's still upset her husband got more attention than she did. Whatever. Bring dates.

Dear Chief Charlie Beck

They're not "protesters" anymore when they're vandalizing cars and destroying property.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Women voters 2016

Voted for their children, for their children that were murdered, voted for their children to possibly one day have. Women voted for their loved ones in the military, for their loved ones who served in the military, and for their loved ones who died while serving in the military. Women voted for their husbands, brothers, and fathers job security. Women voted for wives of police officers, and widows of  police officers. Women voted for their right to pray...

Just to name a few women.

Hillary Clinton, completely forgot about those women in her presidential campaign, or simply didn't care. All she wanted was the minority/millennial pussy-vote. BUT who was her mouth piece? Another rich self entitled (white) woman, Lady Gaga. Good job!

That's cool if you're a white woman with money, by the way, just saying there ARE other kinds of women out there too.

*That's my point. Women voted for Trump. Even registered Dems, voted for Trump.*

*Women didn't trust Hillary Clinton. She lives in a bubble. She doesn't see real womens issues just their votes. You can argue neither does Trump, but you don't have to care about me if you take care of my loved ones. I believe at least Trump will take care of my loved ones. Hillary Clinton, wasn't going to take care of anyone but Hillary Clinton.*

You gotta love their devotion

This country has always thought Californians are flakey, lazy, and weird, but all these protests (albeit primarily in poor CA neighborhoods) are nothing but added fodder for the rest of the country. These CA protesters don't understand how politics work. And they suck at protesting! You're supposed to protest people who disagree with you! But the only news they watch is E entertainment. Even Gary Johnson (Libertarian presidential candidate) was like, "Aleppo? What's Aleppo?" 

Dude, seriously, were you any smarter as a Republican?

It became OBVIOUS six months to one year ago, to everyone BUT California, New York, Nevada, and smaller states on the country's outer circumference, that Trump was going to win the election. The heart of America was dying, literally dying. Their kids were dying. In CA if a kid gets shot, they protest, make hashtag movements, and kill cops, but in the rest of the country if a bunch of THEIR little kids get shot -- they make changes in the White House, Senate, and Congress.  

Obama, wasn't welcome in Oregon. And in for Midwest that's REALLY mean. Yes I called Oregon "midwest" get over it.

I'm a news JUNKE. I need news 24/7. News and the hockey scores. 

I need to know what the polls say. 

After that brief political stunt with those women who shamelessly tried to get the pussy-vote steered Hillary's way, polls immediately went out, and guess what, women didn't really care if Trump grabbed their tits, ass, whatever "What does that one bitch do for a living? Oh. She's a whore. Never mind." And that's what the polls told Trump. Women don't like women. And women, especially in the heart of America, don't like whores. Fame lives in a bubble. Female voters don't give a shit what Lady Gaga says CLEARLY. 

If you only live in your little bubble, you will get your ass kicked by the rest of the country. But people don't want to educate themselves, especially in CA. 

Prop 60 won by a mere 8%. It's a marginal win. I doubt any of those people have ever taken an economics class, but to win by 8% also means a good amount of their own Twitter followers voted against them. AND in the next four years, if anyone gives a fuck enough to challenge them in the name of God, church, or wholesome family values, they need to realize what they're up against. This whole country is now 100% powered by Republican conservatives.

CA is the place to be for liberal thinking. That's why I live here. That, my friends, the ocean, and all year around beautiful weather. But seriously California, pick up a newspaper every once in a while. Learn what's going on in the rest of the country, and then (gasp!) the rest of the world.

Aleppo, is not a dog food brand, Gary!

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Nothing like an election to make life choices

You wouldn't think I'd need to pay someone $5,000 to confirm I've consumed expensive/good wine, but whatever, your world, if it earns me the silver pin, and title of Sommelier, I'll happily make $70,000 a year to insult your "unrefined" pallet!

"Say Father, you'll never get your congregation to heaven on cheap vino. The Vatican City, is said to have the best wine cellars in the world and look how holy THEY are. Just saying. What's good for the Pope, is good for your... you know, good for your... Whatevers."

To all the hysterics who said...

"If Trump becomes president I'm moving to Canada!!"

I expect you to honor your threats and vacate Los Angeles, by January 20, 2017.

I live in a new building on the west side. No rent control. My rent goes up 5% every year.

So let's go! Let's go!

Thank god there's a school in LA I can get certified at to sell expensive wine to rich white church people. YES!!! The next four years are going to be fantastic!!!

How many days until you get a grip?

Just curious. Calexit? Really? I thought you guys were moving to Canada? What happened to Canada?? I was looking forward all year to you guys moving to Canada, and then my rent going down! I mean, my rent is extremely low because I know the property owner, but... I wouldn't mind if it was lower! Plus less congestion at the beach. Less traffic. Cleaner air. Don't be so quick to abandon your Canada plan. That's a good plan!

Democrats abandoning their political "honorary" posts, are like LA Trump protesters blocking traffic for being a blue Democratic state and agreeing with them. Morons. Furthermore those positions will just get filled by hungry up and comers, possibly now Republican, so really you're just further fucking yourself. I love to masturbate too only when I do it I don't end up unemployed.

Canada's looking pretty nice now isn't it!

I'll help you pack.

It's interesting watching CA freak out, and yet my Thursday stayed the same as all the Thursdays when Obama was president.... When Bill Clinton was president.... It's just Thursday.

Calm down.

I predict it's not over. 8%?

If I only lost by 8% I'd try again but that's me. I'm competitive that way. 8% is Nothing. And with a Republican House, Republican Senate, and a Republican President (who they made accusations against while he was running for president.) I'd try again and kick it back to the people.

That last message was totally hateful. Hateful towards the LGBTQ community as if it's THEIR job to cure AIDS. Really low. No class.

Why are you still HERE?

Oh California, with your past rioting, and protesting. Regarding the outcome of this election you protesters who held up the 101 freeway for hours last night do realize the state majority voted democratic, right? I mean, you know the majority voted with you, right? CA was one of the few blue states. So why would you protest in the streets and freeways of a state that mostly agreed with you? It would seem you would take your protest group and go to a state that didn't agree with you, and hold up THEIR traffic for hours at a time.

"We protest Donald Trump"
"Yeah we agree with you, now get out if the road!"
"Oh, wait, you agree with us? Really? Fuck it, we're going to keep protesting here anyway!"

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Prop 60

Congratulations. You won by a mere 6%! Meaning you BARELY won. You got lucky! I'm surprised you won after that attack on Trump. Stupid. Stupid. Ask your lawyers what a VETO is. Ask your lawyers how many LGBTQ signatures it would take for the LGBTQ to VETO your win.

For the love of... Don't you people know when to shut the fuck up?!

You won. Walk away.

*My bad. 8%. You won by 8%*

How they vote in Utah?

"Ok now clap if you want Trump for president!" https://instagram.com/p/BMmmm0JBhcv/

Seriously now, show of hands, how many Americans wrote in "Bernie Sanders" ?

(And who the hell is Gloria Estela La Riva?)

No one hated H.Clinton more than the...

Mormons. Wow. They really hate her. Trump won Utah almost unanimously. All the men got their 14 wives together to hand dig a twelve foot grave, six feet deeper than usual just to make sure she stays down. I don't think killing her first was even an option!

Oh California

You silly goose. HOW can you be against single use bags in grocery stores (presumably for the environment) but against bag fees going towards specific environment projects? Es'squeeze me? Which environmental project/organization do you oppose exactly? Greenpeace? Wildlife Conservation? Do you hate bears? Racists!

Republicans! Republicans, everywhere!

President Trump!

Republican House.

Republican Senate.

Republican President.

Resistance is futile!

This is how much people hate Hillary Clinton https://instagram.com/p/BMl3IcwhPEX/

I was the demographic Hillary Clinton SHOULD have had on her side, strong educated independent non-Catholic minority female, and she fucked that up right out the gate. Never mind the fact I'm a Republican, I don't always vote Republican, but that woman is everything about women I detest. Her and Gloria Allred.

One day there will be a woman president. Thank you Americans for not making it Hillary Clinton!

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Election Day 2016

I never thought I would see the day I actually wished I owned firearms.

I'm bunkered IN.

On the plus side cops and fire trucks have been running ERT tests through the streets of Los Angeles.

Something tells me they'll be needed!

Monday, November 7, 2016

Did he just call me a racist?

YES!!!!! I haven't been called a racist in months! Fantastic! I don't want to go out with him because I must be a racist. Not because he has O.J.'s evil bad temper, but because I'm a "racist". And I'm pretty sure I saw the word "Nazi" in there too. Wow. I miss you Puck! You always found the nazis in my blogs, you crazy motherclucker!!

The ig-jay is up-say!!

Is it because I'm a Republican? Are you just learning I'm a Republican?

Republican. Me. Yes. And I already https://instagram.com/p/BMZJzFrByLY/

And as I said before in private email, and will say it here in public... I respect you. I think you're a bright human being. However you have a short temper when you don't get your way. You're only sweet when you want something. If you don't get your way, you go mental. I can't have that.

Sorry

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Rapists Anonymous

Hello. My name is (insert your name here)

And the DVP "douchepool" award goes to

Everything is awesome
Everything is cool when you're part of a team
Everything is awesome when we're living our dream...

Thursday, November 3, 2016

Walter Van Buskirk?

Is Walter still alive?

"No. He died five years ago."

Are you saying Walter Van Buskirk?