Every year on my birthday the first text message I would receive was always from my dad. "Happy Birthday! Call me when you wake up! Love you! Dad"
Parents and technology. You don't have to sign your name in a text. I know it's you when I put your number in...
But every year, and in every text, "Love you! Dad."
My dad passed away last June, lung cancer. Though he had quit smoking (I don't know when exactly) some 30 years beforehand, he still got lung cancer.
This was the first year I wouldn't get that birthday message.
However...
When I woke up yesterday, on the 7th, the first text message I received that morning came from my dad's very thoughtful widow. Though she and I only started getting to know each other when my dad fell seriously ill, she was regardful of the day in absence of my dad.
Very kind.
This was my dad. His name was John.
I took this picture of dad November (2014). He was in the last stage of his cancer before succumbing to it 7 months later the following June (2015).
I love this photo... for a few different reasons.
If it looks like we're partially sitting outside, it's because we are.
The room dad and I are sitting in, once upon a time, was a sizeable deck that wrapped part way around the first floor of his house.
With the children now grown, grandchildren mostly grown, dad decided he was going to build a four-season room on the deck dedicated to something he was quite passionate about... his grill.
When my brothers and I were kids, during the blistering cold frigid dead months of Minnesota winter, dad would have us shovel a path in the snow to his BBQ grill so he could grill dinner. Sure it was worth it, but...
Once all the kids were grown and gone, dad didn't need the deck so much anymore, why not build a four-season room on top of the deck, and finally be able to grill all year long in comfort and style?
Originally this room was all glass. Like a hothouse. The top window panels crank open and shut by hand. They still do. Later on dad added a few walls for better insulation.
Of all the rooms in dad's house, this is my favorite room. His too. Our visits mostly took place here in this room. Minnesota being a four season state, the view was always beautiful and we didn't have to combat snow, or mosquitos.
The other reason I love this photo, THIS particular photo..
On this day...
On this very afternoon, while dad was writing his blog he kept nodding off. I worried his laptop would fall on the floor. When I saw dad was dozing, head resting to the side, I would quietly walk over to him, and try moving the laptop to a more secure area...
I would barely touch the laptop, and dad would jerk awake and immediately start typing again like nothing happened.
"What are you doing?!" He barked at me.
"I was just trying to.. You fell asleep.. I was going to move.. So it wouldn't fall on the floor!"
"Don't touch my computer!" He barked again.
15 minutes later dad would nod off again. His arms resting at his side. The computer teetering in movement with his breathing. Again I tried moving the laptop. Plus I thought maybe he would be more comfortable. And I wanted to put a blanket over him. It was November, after all. But just as I touched the mere corner of the screen...
"Don't touch my computer!" And dad was instantly alert, tapping away at the computer like nothing happened.
It was both funny and beautiful.
That room will never be the same without my dad. But it gave me a lot of cherished memories.
Well... that... and the L.A. Kings beating Toronto @Staples Center!
If it looks like we're partially sitting outside, it's because we are.
The room dad and I are sitting in, once upon a time, was a sizeable deck that wrapped part way around the first floor of his house.
With the children now grown, grandchildren mostly grown, dad decided he was going to build a four-season room on the deck dedicated to something he was quite passionate about... his grill.
When my brothers and I were kids, during the blistering cold frigid dead months of Minnesota winter, dad would have us shovel a path in the snow to his BBQ grill so he could grill dinner. Sure it was worth it, but...
Once all the kids were grown and gone, dad didn't need the deck so much anymore, why not build a four-season room on top of the deck, and finally be able to grill all year long in comfort and style?
Originally this room was all glass. Like a hothouse. The top window panels crank open and shut by hand. They still do. Later on dad added a few walls for better insulation.
Of all the rooms in dad's house, this is my favorite room. His too. Our visits mostly took place here in this room. Minnesota being a four season state, the view was always beautiful and we didn't have to combat snow, or mosquitos.
The other reason I love this photo, THIS particular photo..
While dad was in the daunt of chemo, insulin, home blood tests, etc., the doctors suggested he write a blog. My dad is more of a "hands on" guy. In person. Sights and sounds in the moment. Not a writer. Alongside grilling, dad's other favorite past time was construction/carpentry, i.e. building furniture, houses, he had a workshop in the basement for many years. But the doctors suggested he now blogged, plus my dad wanted to connect and support other cancer patients and their families. That's what he was doing in this picture. Writing his blog.
On this day...
Because of the rigorous 24 hour routine of tests, medicine, and the aftereffects of chemo, dad had many sleepless nights and would nod off in his chair. Sometimes for 20 minutes. Sometimes for 2 minutes. The doctors told us to just let him sleep in his chair. Let him sleep wherever/whenever he could. Don't move him. Just let him sleep.
On this very afternoon, while dad was writing his blog he kept nodding off. I worried his laptop would fall on the floor. When I saw dad was dozing, head resting to the side, I would quietly walk over to him, and try moving the laptop to a more secure area...
I would barely touch the laptop, and dad would jerk awake and immediately start typing again like nothing happened.
"What are you doing?!" He barked at me.
"I was just trying to.. You fell asleep.. I was going to move.. So it wouldn't fall on the floor!"
"Don't touch my computer!" He barked again.
15 minutes later dad would nod off again. His arms resting at his side. The computer teetering in movement with his breathing. Again I tried moving the laptop. Plus I thought maybe he would be more comfortable. And I wanted to put a blanket over him. It was November, after all. But just as I touched the mere corner of the screen...
"Don't touch my computer!" And dad was instantly alert, tapping away at the computer like nothing happened.
It was both funny and beautiful.
That room will never be the same without my dad. But it gave me a lot of cherished memories.
I couldn't/wouldn't want for anything else on my birthday.
Well... that... and the L.A. Kings beating Toronto @Staples Center!
Which they did 2-1. Oh Canadaaaaaaaa!
** My apologies for the blog repost. I wanted to correct the above month when my dad passed away, but my Apple doesn't like to be edited by non Apple devices and messed up the entire blog. Children. What are you gonna do?
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