Break me down...

"How did you hurt your toe?"

Short answer : I tripped

It's not broken. I thought it was. Feet are funny. You can hit something really hard with your big toe (or trip) and the toe's fine, but encompassing the toe, the round joint-looking bone (the Sesamoid bone) on the under/side of the toe was not looking so good. It shifted. Turned color. And got much, much bigger.

Apparently injuring the Sesamoid bone isn't uncommon, especially among basketball players. Running. Jumping. Blocking. Extending the balls of your feet.

I'm going to tell people I injured my toe playing basketball.

Sure

Why not

Sounds believable.

When I hit my toe, my entire vocabulary got wiped out but one word - motherfuckingfuckfuckshitfuckfuckingfucker

It's a word.

Which

(After I tripped)

I repeated over and over,

And

Over and over.

My hand's been slammed in a car door (no broken bones) but I don't think I swore as much then as I did hitting my toe.

And I always say the most ridiculous things afterwards to gain composure, "Fuck this toe! I got nine more!"

It's just a toe, but in a relatable scenario, say when your toe makes contact with the leg of a coffee table, there's really no other pain quite like it at the time.

In this (particular) situation,

It was like -- stubbing my toe on the coffee table, 20 times in a row, within thirty seconds, with a fierce Bruce Willis-like vengeance. That's the only way I can describe it.

"Wussy"

Half wimp

Halffffff....