&%$#@!!!! Chase

So this morning,

I tried to deposit some CASH, as in MONEY, as in CASH, into my friend's Chase checking account.

The goal for banks is still to acquire our money, yes?

Well anyway,

This is what happened...

"I'm sorry we've changed our cash deposit policy. We no longer accept cash. We only accept money orders, cashiers checks, and personal checks."

I'm sorry, what? You no longer accept CASH?

"Do you bank at Chase?"

No. 

I'm sorry, I mean HELL NO.

I only know one person who banks at Chase, or I would have known about this idiotic policy change back in February.

"Do you have a personal check with you from your bank account?"

No. Because it's not 1980. I've only written checks for rent and donations to (like) a health care foundation. Furthermore, MY bank information is none of your business!

"Well we do accept money order and cashiers checks."

But not CASH? What's the difference between money orders from 7-11, cashiers checks, and CASH? The receipt is the same, yes? Who doesn't accept CASH?

They'll accept a personal check... ??

Friend, I'm not telling you to SWITCH BANKS, but what bank doesn't accept CASH deposits?

I'm sorry, the Asian in me doesn't understand not accepting a CASH deposit!

The new policy doesn't affect Commercial, Treasury, or Investment bank accounts. Oh no, go ahead use a cash deposit!... They just don't trust their own Personal checking account holders. Aaah. I see. What?? Because those other accounts would never launder money or consider committing criminal acts...

"And all the money laundering in the world could cease to end if only everyone carried around their checkbooks!"

Brilliant.

"If only drugs were illegal, people would stop making them."

If only...