JULY 31, SUNDAY
(10:06pm)
Menopause is a funny thing. Once upon a time Magic Mike got me screaming and now…
(4:21pm)
Can I just tell you how much I love my male friends, especially Alan, Slut Daddy, and Aramis. I Love you guys with all my heart. 😘 I would be dead now if not for you.
(Sorry Alan I don’t have a nick-name for you yet)
I have a union job, once again able to put roots down if the gods of thunder & rock n roll deem it right I do so, somewhere North Hollywood or Burbank, and who knows, maybe one day I’ll know where the right places to look for love are. Or not.
It’s a sad day for Trekkies.😓 They lost their first love, Lieutenant Uhura (Nichelle Nichols).
I saw many episodes of Star Trek (OG series) and a few Star Trek movies circa 2009-2016, and while I’m more Star Wars than Star Trek, this lovely lady was the first black woman to go into space in my eyes. Of all the stars in the universe hers will shine brightest tonight.💫
I’m almost done reading this book called BEST DAY EVER. It resonates hard with me right now. The author Kaira Rouda, writes in the first person main male character who is just a piece of shit. And she writes him so well. At the moment I know someone exactly like him. I have about 30 pages left in the book. It’s taken me three days to read this book. Tonight I’ll finish it. Well done, Ms Rouda. And she’s a southern Cali girl too. Flex.
Anyone in NOHO or Burbank need a roommate? Please be normal. Please be normal. Please be normal. I don’t care if your side hustle is peeing on men dressed as Cinderella, just do it in your private bathroom with as many doors closed as possible! 🫣
I have a normal job with perks you might be interested in.
And I cook. For a living.
JULY 30, SATURDAY
(9:04pm)
Oh nothing. just checking emails and... nope I don't think I will click on that image thanks.😂
JULY 29, FRIDAY
(10:29pm)
Princess Tapioca Derpsidaisy!
(7:54pm)
"I would like to thank my children Smugglestarch, Boomquifa, and Princess Tapioca Derp, for allowing mommy to be a creative genius while Guadalupe raises you. God bless me. God bless me very much!"
JULY 28, THURSDAY
(8:36am)
Good morning. I love you too, kitties.
Thank goodness they're not outdoor cats.
I am among the working world once more. Prep/cooking, of course. For studio actors and staff.
JULY 27, WEDNESDAY
(11:40am)
Just chilling with my friends kitties before my interview.
(7:53am)
I wish I was going out to the barn right now to milk my cow.
One day.
Franz's family are like the Mennonites we grew up with. Yes boys and girls, we 1970's elementary school kids in Minnesota read those books on how how to churn butter, preserve jam, milk cows, grow corn, and raise chickens.
It can be a hard life but extremely peaceful.
(6:51am)
Preach, Preacher!
(12:07am)
JULY 26, TUESDAY
(11:30am)
If you want to be an old woman in your 50's wearing a bikini on social media, knock yourself out. Thank god I'm not your kid. Live and let live.
Everybody judges.
Everybody.
My inner lesbian doesn't find women over 30 sexy, ever. She can be 24 years old and thirty-five pounds overweight and I would still find her sexier than a 50-something in a bikini regardless how she looks. Young and fat > old and skinny.
When people don't hire me because I'm old, I totally get it. Especially here in LA. Why do you think I'm pushing for government farm grants.
Google says senior women should find a way to work for themselves. I agree.
JULY 25, MONDAY
(9:11am)
Who went crazier losing an election, Hillary or Donald?
Sure, if you put cameras on me 24/7 you’d get crazy footage of me too. Me trying to stuff a full pack of cooked ramen in my mouth at one time. Me sleeping in my cotton granny panties while hugging my teddy bear. Etc. But it never ceases to amaze me how many lessons I learn from my elders on what not to do, and how not to behave. The only thing my parents ever taught me was what not to do. EXAMPLE: Don’t leave three minor children at home for days on end when the oldest minor child has a car, drivers license, and is of legal age to buy alcohol and fireworks directly next door, in Canada, circa 1982. – Our parents, father process of elimination and mother what not to do.
I didn’t get the heart monitor yet. I went to my cardiologist, they performed an EKG, then scheduled me for an echocardiogram. Before the Echo, however, I saw my neurologist for my annual post stroke exam who wanted the cardiologist to put a heart monitor on me for a week to rule out Afib as being the cause of my stroke since there wasn’t an actual blood clot (long story short, battle of the neurologists). I went in for my echo, gave the cardiologist office my heart monitor order, but it being vacation time before the kids go back to school, the doctor’s office performed the echo and said pending the results of the echo I may not get the monitor put on until September when the cardiologist gets back from vacation - and they only do heart monitors on Tuesdays. Why only Tuesdays? I have no idea. Pick your battles. I have a follow up with my cardiologist scheduled in late September and since I didn’t hear back from the cardiologist office, the Echo must have been fine.
I take my prescriptions. I check my blood pressure regularly. The few times the BP monitor heartbeat symbol flashed a broken heart symbol (meaning irregular heartbeat) my blood pressure was like 137/97 after taking my stroke meds. Because of my stroke history the primary told me to go to the ER if that bottom number gets over 100. So far it hasn’t.
AND
My gender keeps coming into question with my short hair. FFS. Not like before when my gender came into question simply because I’m Asian, no, NOW I’m Asian with short hair and holy shit no one can look at me or their sexuality may suddenly come into question!
You really don’t know if I’m male or female?
Boomers and Gen X’rs can poke fun of pronouns all they want but at least the kids today have a system. You know, like boomers and their “check box with which race you are” system, boomers, by the way, still need to watch the weather report on TV because none of them know how to use the internet or gauge the weather simply by going outside.
Ever since I cut my hair off again no one over the age 30 can figure out if I’m male or female just by looking at me and it really (really!) bothers them. Oh my god! Don’t think I’m pretty or that will mean you might be gay!
You and me, kitty cat. This is my friend’s beautiful kitty. And while most ginger cats are boys, this pretty kitty is female.
I have an interview with a Hollywood Studio on Wednesday. This should be interesting. Then again, studios are smart, they asked what my pronoun is on the application process.
I'm thinking I'll just walk in and...
CUE THE MUSIC!
JULY 23, SATURDAY
(6:35pm)
Even if I won the lottery, which I of course got tickets, I would still farm in Minnesota. It's easier to keep cows warm in winter than it is to keep them watered in a drought state like California.
(6:30pm)
I would be more of a Mennonite farmer. Electricity and such.
(6:45am)
Woke up just now to this ❤️❤️
JULY 22, FRIDAY
(2:19pm)
If America wants to lay claim to my uterus every month, America can pay for all my past menstrual and vagina care products. That's every 28 days for approximately 38 years at about $140 a pop. America owes me $63,840. Ya bunch of dead beats.
Do black people know who native Americans are? Newsflash! All that "black owned property" that was "wrongly taken from you" was once owned by native Americans before you that YOU WRONGLY took from them. History. It's a hell of a thing.
It's the hypocrisy I hate.
JULY 21, THURSDAY
(6:03am)
Bad news kids, grandma didn't win superlotto. I don't usually play until the jackpot hits 20 million but who am I to snub 8 million dollars? No winner last night. 9 million.
Leaving the valley this morning. Getting the second EKG and heart monitor today. Getting my boobies squished in September (mammogram) additionally an online zoom intro to the new OBGYN tomorrow. Gotta keep the moving parts clean, as the song goes. I'm on day two of my period. Don't tell me god doesn't have a sense of humor. If I'm lucky this will be the last mensie of the year.
Lets get discovered this weekend, boys and girls. I'm feeling restless.
JULY 20, WEDNESDAY
(3:42pm)
After picking up my mail from the house of Aramis, it seems my doctor wants me to join a type 2 diabetes support group. For those you not in the know, you don't even have to like candy, chocolate, and ice cream to get diabetes. You can get it from years of abusing alcohol especially wine, years of drinking too much fruit juices, years of over eating too much fruit - and especially after combining all three on a regular basis for the better part of your adult life.
I was scolded by my doctor regarding how much fruit I eat. I used to eat a lot fruit. I would make a large bowl of fruit and just eat that all day, sometimes four days a week. Cranberry juice. Orange juice. Even V8 fruit juice. Hand to g.o.d. I had no idea you could over eat and over drink anything made with fruit. So now my doctor wants me to go to this diabetes support group...
I'm convinced they have support groups for EVERYTHING.
I'm not going.
My dad had type 1 diabetes, injected himself with insulin back in the day with a hypodermic needle prior to the pump. And no, he never joined a support group.
I admit I did a pretty decent job beating myself up in my teens, twenties, and early 30's until I got married. Then I just beat myself up emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. But before marriage turned me into a hallow shell, I was utterly reckless with drinking, drugs, smoking, and well, drinking. On top of all that, 20 plus years later, menopause.
Every day it's a balancing act of diet, exercise, pharmaceuticals, estrogen levels, doctors appointments, and medical insurance. AND looking for work now that I'm post Covid. All while living in this politically mad, mad world. Forget the heart monitor, Doc. Just let me drool out my oatmeal in peace. I'll be the prettiest senior citizen in the ward.
Vanilla bean custard filled fruit tart. The worst breakup I ever had.
(2:09pm)
53 and still getting periods. Old women on their periods. You should know boys and girls that's where ketchup comes from.
FYI tomato ketchup isn't any of these colors. NONE OF THESE COLORS.
(11:46am)
My favorite OBGYN, as in my favorite OBGYN of all time, is now only caring for pregnant women. 😭
I have conference call appointment with a newly assigned OBGYN and I'm dreading it like a first date. (sigh) I like long walks on the beach, cats AND dogs, my favorite movie is SENSE AND SENSIBILITY circa 1995...
Thank you for being awesome Dr. G. You will be missed.
(3:41am)
I’ve been in the valley past two days. Yesterday I suffered mild heat stroke and passed out the moment I returned from a 2 mile walk. I finally came to around 10-something pm and that’s why I’m awake now.
Worth it. I got my ramen.
AND one pound bags of my favorite sunflower seeds.
This ramen is really hard to find. I think only 99 Ranch sells it. It’s very good and the stores are always out of it. This 5-pack I got was the last one.
I heat stroke for ramen. And kimchi. And yellow radish.
FYI after suffering 2 1/2 summers in Vegas, the valley heat doesn’t seem so terrible. I lived in the valley when I was married but then again I was much younger and could take it. The marriage I mean.
I mind being old less and less after reading things like:
No Kamala. Just, no. FFS. Thank god I’ll be dead sooner than later.
(1:52am)
Y'all didn't want Pete Buttigieg because he was too gay young.
No you're right. This is so much better.
(12:56am)
Just out of curiosity, why don't you list your address on the main page of your website? I can't tell you how many times I've looked up a bar, a restaurant, a store, and then have to hunt around the website menu to find the address.
Here let me help you.
EXAMPLE:
JOE'S BAR & GRILL
[HOURS]
[ADDRESS]
There.
You're welcome.
JULY 19, TUESDAY
(9:45am)
Remember when hot sexy young models sold beer? Welp, we don't live in that world anymore.
I would much rather buy this beer to be honest. I like pale ales. And kitty cats.
I don't know what kind of world we live in. But, it's not my world. It's theirs. It belongs to the kids now. That's why you guys had kids, right? So they can take over the world. So why are you, boomers & gen X'ers, still trying to shape their world with your dementia driven madness? You're gonna be dead soon. What do you care what they do with it? Boomers & gen X'ers are pretty much nothing more than pharmaceutical wet dreams at this point. We're pretty much [this close] to throwing tea parties for all our imaginary friends like we did when we were five, only now our toys and dolls are way less adorable.
Is it crazy that humans can no longer differentiate between male and female genders? Or that no one can agree on when life begins? Yeah, sure, maybe. But it's not my circus anymore. I get my period like once or twice a year and all the other months I may as well be a viking. Is abortion right or wrong? I don't know. It's not my fight anymore. It's yours, new generation girls women ladies she/her pronouns.
Boomers & gen X'ers live in a world where colors and hairstyles are still boy/girl appointed. "Green and yellow are neutral colors!" - Nope, that doesn't sound crazy. Besides, everyone knows green means horny. D-UH!
In the 80's if a young man had long hair and wore eyeliner he was deemed a cock sucking queer. Thank goodness that was never true. 😏
Withal, it's the hypocrisy that bothers me. The hysteria and hypocrisy. Watching political parties get so goddamn hysterical (as in DERANGED) to such extremes I can't help but wonder HOW they got so far off the chart where even Google maps is like, "I quit."
I'm spending a few days in the valley because Aramis refuses to go where the ocean is even though both he and is girlfriend work nearby it but, "FUCK NO, WE WANT TO SIT IN TRAFFIC 6 HOURS A DAY! and you can't stop us!"
Meh. There's a few restaurants I want to check out. Might as well get my drink on too before the heart monitor gets slapped on Thursday.
JULY 18, MONDAY
(6:40pm)
I woke up this morning to this. Sweet little kitty cats.
JULY 17, SUNDAY
(6:36pm)
(5:17pm)
Also in your 50’s.
A man today asked if I saved him a lock of my hair.
WTF 😬
(2:25pm)
Preach, Preacher 📿
(1:34pm)
The problem with thick hair and short haircuts is looking like you got a bowl 'fro.
Thin hair is great for pixie cuts like Mia Farrow's:
With my thick hair it takes more work:
Men like long hair, I get it. But after 40 I prefer to wear my my hair shorter. I only grew it longer for the fellas. Deal with it, boys. I like my hair short.
JULY 16, SATURDAY
(10:48pm)
Watching FRITZ THE CAT
What the serious fu…
Oh hey 👋🏻
(10:50am)
I have no idea what day it is anymore.
Does my hair look better on me or your dad? I’m totally going to a barber next time to see if he’ll give me a trim. 🥹
JULY 15, FRIDAY
(5:38pm)
OK BYE 👋🏻
(6:20am)
Preach, preacher!
JULY 14, THURSDAY
(8:08am)
Sorry 😞 But you knew the risks.
JULY 12, TUESDAY
(9:51pm)
Barbarians!
(3:48pm)
OBI-WAN!!
JULY 11, MONDAY
(11:24pm)
I had no idea Eddie Munson (Joseph Quinn) actually played the song himself.🤯 Respect!
Eddie forever!!🤘🏻
(11:51am)
I had the exact same ankle ball but it was called a “lemon twist” — big plastic lemon 🍋 with supposed real lemon seeds inside it. It was my favorite toy next to my bicycle.
JULY 9, SATURDAY
(9:53pm)
Me after watching five MrBallen videos on YouTube before bedtime. Holy shit.
(9:47pm)
Run Peanut, run!
JULY 8, FRIDAY
(8:05pm)
Grow it out as is…
Or just…
JULY 7, THURSDAY
(8:13pm)
Oh no 🥺
Every girl’s favorite big brother. 🥺
RIP big brother
(6:27pm)
Dear Hollywood,
Austin Butler is a good looking kid. WHY for FFS did you...?!
WTF is this?!
Elvis?? You made him look like the goddamn Diceman.
(5:46pm)
Love it!
(9:19am)
Brilliant
JULY 6, WEDNESDAY
(3:27pm)
I see what the problem is. I’m not a loud pushy annoying Jewish woman. (You know who you are!)
(10:23am)
SPREAD. THE. WORD.
(8:49am)
He ain’t lyin’ 😏
JULY 5, TUESDAY
(10:24pm)
I introduced my friend to Kevin Smith films.
I’ve done my good deed for the day.
(7:02pm)
Okay. Right. Obi-Wan & R2 met each other before BUT how did R2 know Obi-Wan was on Tatooine? HOW DID R2 KNOW? HOW?
(6:55pm)
Getting back to normal like:
(4:32pm)
Crypto.com Arena 😏
(4:20pm)
Goddamn, LA.
Kings/Ducks preseason game October 2, is practically sold out. A handful of nosebleed seats are all that's left. FFS. OK people, who's nipples do I gotta chew on...
JULY 4, MONDAY
(5:18pm)
I hope English isn’t your first language.
(5:14pm)
(9:09am)
R2-D2 & C-3PO physically crash landed onto Tatooine via escape pod but how did R2 know to go to Tatooine? We just assume R2 and Obi-Wan must have met at some point, or it was hinted to the affect of, "This driod is looking for his old master someone named Obi-Wan." Leia didn't know Obi-Wan went to Tattoine to keep an eye on her brother she didn't yet know for certain she even had. Sooooo..... ?
Season 2!
(8:31am)
Good morning boys & girls, normally I would say something boring like happy Independence Day, but unless America is going to legit battle aliens this afternoon, forget it. I'm not feeling very "Team America, fuck yeah!" lately. Thank god I, and all the complaining boomers, will be dead soon.
If you and your friends want to go out for lunch and sit on your phones for an hour while y'all eat, fine. I couldn't care less. Live and let live. Groups of people hanging out staring into their phones doesn't bother me one bit. I recently had lunch with a boomer however who completely lost his shit for AN HOUR when a table of six sat down beside us to eat all while working on their phones. Irony, when a boomer spends an hour complaining about millennials on their cell phones while ignoring his own lunch date to complain about millennials ignoring each other.
AND ANOTHER THING
Technology isn't "taking away jobs from actual human beings". Because those of us NOT boomers have kept up with technology for the most part to keep working in the new tech industries. The jobs are still there. YOU just don't know those jobs exist because you still struggle with how to hit the record button on your VCR.
Top Gun was great. I could see it in the theaters again. And don't let my friend falling asleep during the movie dissuade...
Obviously Leia and Obi-Wan had to have crossed paths before the first film came out. How else would Leia know who he is? “Help me, Obi-Wan Kanobi. You’re my only hope.”
Hey season 2, how does R2-D2 know who Obi-Wan is, where he lives, and how did he get onto Tatooine from Vader's ship?
Brilliant.
Try not to blow yourselves up, boys and girls, or set you and your house on fire, or start a fire in the hills. Stop, drop, and roll, only puts out so much.
JULY 3, SUNDAY
(8:26am)
Song of the year!
JULY 1, FRIDAY
(10:11pm)
PROOF ketchup is made from the blood of serial killers!
Aaand good night.
(8:58pm)
Congratu…
(8:50pm)
WAKAAAAAH!
I needed this. Thank you.
On the way to Top Gun we found a teeny tiny dead baby opossum in the driveway.🥺😭
(8:58am)
We're finally seeing Top Gun today. I'm excited.
Highway to the danger zone
I'll take you right into the DANGER ZONE!
Hey kids, R. Kelly & Ghislaine Maxwell are going to jail.
In a strange coincidence both sex offenders text this to friends and family:
CUE THE MUSIC!